Why don't normies die from dehydration?

[The man The only man]

I have seen my cowokers drink nothing but 3-4 cups of black coffee (coffee doesn't hydrate) during their 9 hours at the company. Why aren't they dying from drinking so little?

 

[Character from a movie]

Humans are more resistant than they should. According to Google, a person can survive up to five days without water.

 

[Poison]

(coffee doesn't hydrate)

It's literally like 98% water. Tf you mean?

 

[We Are The Witches]

I've gone for longer, partly while under the sun, without drinking anything.

However that's something I'm changing, I want to drink more water!

 

[Pruto]

I will not drink anything unless my piss starts coming out in solid blocks.

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

I had to walk home for 18 hours once because my car got impounded and my phone screen got cracked so I couldn't get past the PIN screen, and my debit cards and shit were stored in the phone. At the height of covid. No one would give me a ride, no one would lend me a phone. I was two cities away from home. I somehow made it. Chugged a ton of water once I made it inside and passed the fuck out.

 

[A-Stump]

I had to walk home for 18 hours once because my car got impounded and my phone screen got cracked so I couldn't get past the PIN screen, and my debit cards and shit were stored in the phone. At the height of covid. No one would give me a ride, no one would lend me a phone. I was two cities away from home. I somehow made it. Chugged a ton of water once I made it inside and passed the fuck out.

You could have just flagged down an officer and explained the situation. They would have helped with facilitating a phone call at least.

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

You could have just flagged down an officer and explained the situation. They would have helped with facilitating a phone call at least.

They didn't. Two of them, both said no.

 

[Le b0wski]

You don't have IV fluids stashed under your clothes?

 

[Spud]

(coffee doesn't hydrate)

But it does, it's made with water.

 

[dick brain]

(coffee doesn't hydrate)

This is a myth. Caffeine is a diuretic but not to the extent that it negates the water in the coffee. Same for alcohol unless you're pounding straight everclear. It makes you feel like shit for other, more complicated reasons that people don't care enough to learn about so they just call it dehydration.

 

[Laburnum]

Normies are made of 70% water, they don't even need to hydrate.

 

[Spiny Rumples]

Humans are like giant bags of water. They deflate gradually throughout the day and then reinflate whenever they drink. This is particularly notable among fat men who can vary in water weight by around 20-30 lbs throughout the day.

 

[Penis Drager 2.0]

There's a lot of water in food, too.

 

[Your Starter for 10]

Clearly your co-workers have been replaced by desert planet space lizards.

 

[Yugica]

Fun fact: The color of your urine is largely due to the presence of a waste product from broken down blood -- urobilin.