Why is it that no matter how much I wipe there are always poop stains in my underwear?

[Bob's Vagene]

Whenever my mom does the laundry, she always starts yelling at me about having poop stains in my underwear. She's always like "you're 34 years old, god damnit, what is wrong with you?"…. and I'm just like "shut up woman!". Anyway,, does anyone else have this problem? I mean I'm pretty sure I don't crap my pants, and I always wipe my ass thoroughly... but no matter what I do there's always poop stains. I don't understand. Can someone please help me? I'm getting scared.

 

[Tleilaxian]

You obviously just need to start using an Ass Napkin.

Duh.

 

[JULAY]

You have NUMBERS OF PAIRS OF DIRTY, CRAPPED BRIEFS.

 

[modern horrors]

Clearly your mom is shitting in your underwear. Now what is her motive?

 

[Vingle]

Easy, you need to assert dominance. Make her lick your butthole clean.

 

[NekoRightsActivist]

Because you are an American so you are always sharting, lol

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

Have a safety wipe throughout the day.

 

[Akashic Retard]

Are you obese?

 

[Troonos]

Get yourself a Biffy.

https://biffy.com/

 

[Disheveled Human]

You are only dry wiping when you should be both dry wiping and wet wiping.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

Because you have repeatedly gambled and lost.

 

[Hassa_Bussa]

Get a bidet.

 

[Celebrate Nite]

Wash yo ass, nigger!

 

[Crunchy Oats]

Eat more fiber or wash your ass in the shower after you shit, or both.

 

[Angry Canadian]

It's simple. Buy the largest Bad Dragon Dildo™ you can afford and practice daily until your butthole is a permanent and perfect gaping circle so you can poop without the poopoo touching your butthole at all, eliminating the need to wipe, ever.

 

[Xenarthran]

It's because the shit is coming out after you already wiped your ass, not because you aren't wiping good enough. It's called being incontinent.

 

[Lemmingwise]

There is always more poop. its like im wiping a marker

 

[totallyrandomusername]

It's not poop, it's that brown crayon that you stuck up your ass and never found.

Because you have repeatedly gambled and lost.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

You are only getting the surface shit when you wipe. You need to fist your own BH after every defecation sesh. Put your fist in and then rotate back and forth 6 times (no more than 6 or else it's gay). When you remove your fist it will be covered in shit, but it's the shit that would have stained your underwear shortly after. What you do with your shit covered fist (also known as a shist) is up to you. I recommend wiping it off on your mom's towels because she sounds like a cunt.

 

[Mamas boy]

The Jews are sneaking tiny merkabas filled with Jewish poop into your ass while you sleep. They fly up inside your colon and wait until you are about to change clothes and use microspray technology to spray doodoo on your clean butthole and briefs. They do this to discredit you. No mother will ever respect her sons opinions with dirty crapped briefs. This will also keep you single and wanting. Slowly turning you into a virgin with rage that will lash out at any mention of a female or left wing politics. This slowly drives you insane and paralyses you socially, making you an angry incel that nobody wants to be around. Soon the transformation will be complete. You will troon out and slowly become what the Jew wants you to be. Then- and only then will you ever have clean underwear.