Work Horror Stories

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I just found out the company I work for is going DEI. I wish I could leak it but I have to wait until I don't work there.
 
A spider just lowered itself onto my keyboard. I turned around to grab a piece of paper to kill it with and when I looked back, it was gone. There's been an unreasonably high amount of black widows this year.

Help.
Only one thing to do...
everything_burns.gif
 
Day 3 of the infestation:

I have been unsuccessful in my attempts to burn the building down. Surprisingly I have not lost my job, but have been court ordered to continue working at reduced pay until I pay for the damage to the sink.

I'm stuck here.

I spotted a wolf spider tucked under a ledge on my office's wall by my truck when I left work yesterday. I considered an alliance, but a wolf spider isn't capable of getting through black widow web. Plus they're fucking huge.

I must summon... the blue mud daubers. They're my only hope now.
 
I just walked into work to alot of emails helpfully explaining that I'm the biggest retard on the planet, bought the wrong cleaning chemical, and we might have to shut down production for a day because of me. Somehow I am not the highest on the shit list because some operator pressed the "reset alarm" button for 8 hours instead of investigating the issue destroying 1 million dollars of product.
 
FYI - "a lot"

Sux about the emails, though. ✊

Thread tax: Don't have many since I'm still remote (and loving it), but I guess the occasional meeting invite from a manager/director slated for a Friday afternoon without any explanation aside from an ominous title is still mildly horrifying.
 
My temp job is ending, and I send the temp agency an email asking them if there are any other opportunities available right now. My recruiter gets back to me in just a few minutes, "I have one starting next Monday, it pays $X/hr." I reply, "Did you mean to quote me that number? It's below the minimum wage in this area." Total silence since then.

FYI - "a lot"

Shut up nigger
 
My temp job is ending, and I send the temp agency an email asking them if there are any other opportunities available right now. My recruiter gets back to me in just a few minutes, "I have one starting next Monday, it pays $X/hr." I reply, "Did you mean to quote me that number? It's below the minimum wage in this area." Total silence since then.



Shut up nigger
You are a retard who wants to genocide Jews. What do you expect
 
Was made to help temp workers on the warehouse duty cause they are retarded immigrants who work as slowly as humanly possible, and chinesium dust there made my arms crack into bloody gashes.

The worst bit is that it was kiddy clothes stock.
 
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