WORLD'S LARGEST HASHBROWN - Seriously this thing is enormous

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The BIG, BLACK DICK are my most favorite thing at McDonald's
To me the BIG, BLACK DICK is a bit dry, so I have to pace myself and drink a little bit of water between putting it in my mouth, then I wash it down with a little bit of milk.
My mother loves the BIG, BLACK DICK, but it's bad for her heart, my friends all laugh because I can take 2 sometimes 3 in one day without getting a stomach ache.
 
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I'm not sure if you're aware of this but in the off-chance you aren't, I might as well tell you anyway. I'm sure you've notice my sudden shift in attitude, obviously for the better. Many a nights I do ponder, and many days the thought has crossed my mind - even moreso than usual when I am suddenly allotted a considerate sum of money. This, I realize, has been the running cause of most of my unhappiness in a very long time. For years I've suspected discontent without any actual indication of the root. Well I'm delighted to at last share with you the cause of such discontent, as I've discovered it today when I was allotted a sum, $10 to be exact. With this money, as well as some outside help, I was able to buy my happiness back in the form of 12 hashbrowns. Now I know what you're thinking - How could a dozen hashbrowns suddenly alleviate a pain that had been present for years? And to that, I have only one thing to say. My pants, darling, are stained with hashbrown grease.
 
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