Worst Authors

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Anyway, for me it's
Most overrated - Palahniuk (more his novels than the short stories, which I like) + Bukowski
...
Worst overall - Hitler, probably (apart from the obvious, his writing is incoherent + repetitive, and largely a ripoff of older antisemitic conspiracy theory propaganda)

Agree 100% on Palahniuk. I got to admit, I do enjoy Bukowski, but his work does get tiring. Yep, Buk, we get it, you get drunk and fuck women. Enough already. Describe a tree or something. That said, when he wasn't just putting in his 2000 words a day or whatever, he could come out with some really beautiful stuff.

If we're gonna talk about Mein Kampf, we should bring up "My Struggle" by Karl Ove Knausgaard. Meandering, self-obsessed, and irritating.
 
I've heard people calling Mein Kampf as exciting to read as a telephone book...
You heard correctly. I've never read the damn thing front to back, but I've had enough excerpts assigned in different classes to get the gist.

Yep, Buk, we get it, you get drunk and fuck women. Enough already. Describe a tree or something.
I lol'd.

Also, I've never even heard of Knausgaard. Wikipedia page is a bit tl;dr and unclear; was the controversy just from the title or
 
I can never tell if Joyce really meant anything by what he wrote, if it was merely an exercise in exploring his unconscious, or if he was just trolling the literature studies majors of the future.
I'm pretty sure it was trolling. Finnegan's wake was just him fucking around with bad puns in different languages. That doesn't mean it isn't cool, though.
 
You heard correctly. I've never read the damn thing front to back, but I've had enough excerpts assigned in different classes to get the gist.


I lol'd.

Also, I've never even heard of Knausgaard. Wikipedia page is a bit tl;dr and unclear; was the controversy just from the title or

He's an angry guy who had severe writer's block and was pissed he had three kids distracting him from being a genius. So, he wrote an angry sort-of-fiction book that is mostly an autobiography with the names changed. It was controversial because he describes several things in excruciating detail, including bowel movements. It's kind of like his Remembrance of Things Past, only his style is far less eloquent.

@Abethedemon Oh yeah, I really like Joyce's stuff, but I never know if it's any good. It's the same with, say, T.S. Elliot. The Wasteland is very interesting, but sometimes it just feels like a guy who wanted to show off how much classic literature he read.
 
I'm pretty sure it was trolling. Finnegan's wake was just him fucking around with bad puns in different languages. That doesn't mean it isn't cool, though.
I love Joyce's short stories, but his longer works that he did later in his career are completely incomprehensible. But what else can you expect from a man who bragged that he could do anything with the English language?

And I'm surprised nobody's mentioned John Norman yet. If you thought Game of Thrones was schlocky fantasy, you're in for a real treat. What Norman's best known for is the Chronicles of Gor, a poor man's Conan that focuses pretty much exclusively on how most women are just asking for it.

Pretty much the entire series is written like this.

The spider plant cringed as its owner brought forth the watering can. "I am a spider plant!" it cried indignantly. "How dare you water me before my time! Guards!" it called. "Guards!"

Borin, its owner, placed the watering can on the table and looked at it. "You will be watered," he said.

"You do not dare to water me!" laughed the plant.

"You will be watered," said Borin.

"Do not water me!" wept the plant.

"You will be watered," said Borin.

I watched this exchange. Truly, I believed the plant would be watered. It was plant, and on Gor it had no rights. Perhaps on Earth, in its permissive society, which distorts the true roles of all beings, which forces both plant and waterer to go unhappy and constrained, which forbids the fulfillment of owner and houseplant, such might not happen. Perhaps there, it would not be watered. But it was on Gor now, and would undoubtedly feel its true place, that of houseplant. It was plant. It would be watered at will. Such is the way with plants.

Borin picked up the watering can, and muchly watered the plant. The plant cried out. "No, Master! Do not water me!" The master continued to water the plant. "Please, Master," begged the plant, "do not water me!" The master continued to water the plant. It was plant. It could be watered at will.

The plant sobbed muchly as Borin laid down the watering can. It was not pleased. Too, it was wet. But this did not matter. It was plant.

"You have been well watered," said Borin.

"Yes," said the plant, "I have been well watered." Of course, it could be watered by its master at will.

"I have watered you well," said Borin.

"Yes, master," said the plant. "You have watered your plant well. I am plant, and as such I should be watered by my master."

The cactus plant next to the spider plant shuddered. It attempted to cover its small form with its small arms and small needles. "I am plant," it said wonderingly. "I am of Earth, but for the first time, I feel myself truly plantlike. On Earth, I w as able to control my watering. I often scorned those who would water me. But they were weak, and did not see my scorn for what it was, the weak attempt of a small plant to protect itself. Not one of the weak Earth waterers would dare to water a plant if it did not wish it. But on Gor," it shuddered, "on Gor it is different. Here, those who wish to water will water their plants as they wish. But strangely, I feel myself most plantlike when I am at the mercy of a strong Gorean master, who may water me as he pleases."

"I will now water you," said Borin, the cactus's Gorean master.

The cactus did not resist being watered. Perhaps it was realizing that such watering was its master's to control. Too, perhaps it knew that this master was far superior to those of Earth, who would not water it if it did not wish to be watered.

The cactus's watering had been finished. The spider plant looked at it.

"I have been well watered," it said.

"I, too, have been well watered," said the cactus.

"My master has watered me well," said the spider plant.

"My master, too, has watered me well," said the cactus.

"I am to be placed in a hanging basket on the porch," said the spider plant.

"I, too, am to be placed in a hnaging basket on the porch," said the cactus.

"I wish you well," said the spider plant.

"I, too, wish you well," said the cactus.

"Tal," said the spider plant.

"Tal, too," said the cactus.

I did not think that the spider plant would object to being watered by its master again. For it realized that it was plant, and that here, unlike on Earth, it was likely to be owned and watered by many masters.

And don't even get me started on his fanbase.
 
Oooooh not Gor. Gor is the worst.

I've been reading a lot of old weird fiction. Some of the writing is atrocious. Including Lovecraft. Great ideas, original and strange, but fuck, these people couldn't write. I'm looking at you, Chambers.
 
Oooooh not Gor. Gor is the worst.

I've been reading a lot of old weird fiction. Some of the writing is atrocious. Including Lovecraft. Great ideas, original and strange, but fuck, these people couldn't write. I'm looking at you, Chambers.
I remember reading somewhere that Lovecraft was incredibly disappointed with Chambers because he had so much talent but couldn't be bothered to keep it up, and just churned out old romance novels to pay the bills instead of coming back to horror writing. This might've been it:

H. P. Lovecraft said of Chambers in a letter to Clark Ashton Smith,

"Chambers is like Rupert Hughes and a few other fallen Titans – equipped with the right brains and education but wholly out of the habit of using them."[5]
Despite Chambers' effective later abandonment of the weird supernatural tale, these early works are all that remained in print through most of the twentieth century, thanks to Lovecraft's inclusion of them in the critical studySupernatural Horror in Literature.
 
Does poetry count? If so, I'd present Cliff Bleidner. My mom used to routinely make the joke that he could make fucking Ragnarok boring.

Otherwise McKay Hatch is really bad from what I can remember. I don't think he's a winner, though - I'll show you the cover of his mainstay:

71du4Tz995L.jpg


This falls into "So bad it's awesome" territory, alas.
 
I remember reading somewhere that Lovecraft was incredibly disappointed with Chambers because he had so much talent but couldn't be bothered to keep it up, and just churned out old romance novels to pay the bills instead of coming back to horror writing. This might've been it:

Perhaps Chambers didn't want to end up like Lovecraft, dying in dire poverty at the age of 46 living on a can of beans a day.
 
I remember reading somewhere that Lovecraft was incredibly disappointed with Chambers because he had so much talent but couldn't be bothered to keep it up, and just churned out old romance novels to pay the bills instead of coming back to horror writing. This might've been it:

H. P. Lovecraft said of Chambers in a letter to Clark Ashton Smith,

"Chambers is like Rupert Hughes and a few other fallen Titans – equipped with the right brains and education but wholly out of the habit of using them."[5]
Despite Chambers' effective later abandonment of the weird supernatural tale, these early works are all that remained in print through most of the twentieth century, thanks to Lovecraft's inclusion of them in the critical studySupernatural Horror in Literature.

Interesting. I need to read that.

I really love THE KING IN YELLOW as a concept, but a lot of the writing was cringeworthy. I was pretty disappointed - it sounded so good.
 
Interesting. I need to read that.

I really love THE KING IN YELLOW as a concept, but a lot of the writing was cringeworthy. I was pretty disappointed - it sounded so good.

The idea of a book that drives you insane was basically Chambers. At least in English. A rebours by Huysmans has a lot of the same concept, and was borrowed by Oscar Wilde for The Picture of Dorian Gray.
 
Does poetry count? If so, I'd present Cliff Bleidner. My mom used to routinely make the joke that he could make fucking Ragnarok boring.

Otherwise McKay Hatch is really bad from what I can remember. I don't think he's a winner, though - I'll show you the cover of his mainstay:

71du4Tz995L.jpg


This falls into "So bad it's awesome" territory, alas.

I remember reading somewhere that his parents were scam artists
 
I love Joyce's short stories, but his longer works that he did later in his career are completely incomprehensible. But what else can you expect from a man who bragged that he could do anything with the English language?
I find it's only really Finnegan's Wake that's the ball-breaker. Seeing how it's unreadable and all. Ulysses is fine to read, it's just really fucking long.

Speaking of really long and unreadable, here's Salinger's last published story. A 40,000 word letter by a 7 year old.
http://www.goingwimax.com/wp-content/uploads/1.pdf
 
I've got a couple.

- John Ringo: Yeah, I might as well get the worst out of the way, and I'm pretty sure his name was thrown around a few times during the whole Deagle Nation saga. John Ringo is a science fiction writer who is notorious for some of his more military inclined novels, as well as modern political thrillers, for those of you who don't know him. I have two major problems with Ringo. The first is that he tends to isolate A LOT of his readers. If you never served in the military, lack interest in quantum physics, known jack crap about politics, or a mixture of the three, then you'll more than likely put down some of his novels after the first few chapters. Now granted, there is his infamous Paladin of Shadows series, which I'm not going to lie...I kind of actually enjoyed. It was one of those "so-bad-it's-good" type of novels in my eyes, almost like he was purposefully going for something over the top. Granted, it still tends to suffer from the usual problems of his other novels.
What problems do his novels have? He tends to go on long tirades that are thinly masked criticisms about the government, government agencies, military academy graduates (Apparently he never quite got past E-grade in the military, though there are some people who say he never even served at all), and of course, LIBERALS. If you ever wonder who the good humans are and who the bad humans are, it pretty much goes like this: Good humans = Practical blue collar conservatives. Bad humans = Educated, stuck up, yuppie douchers. Another problem of his that GREATLY annoys me is how he has to go on these long, often pointless expositions about how quantum science shit works. Yeah, we get it, you sat through a few advanced science classes, big deal. I'd honestly take Warhammer 40k when it comes to military sci-fi over John Ringo any day.

- R.A. Salvatore: I almost posted this one in the literary sins thread awhile back, mainly because I legit enjoyed his Drizzt Do'Urden series from junior high to mid high school. While his novels get a ton of flak (Yeah, I know, he killed Chewie and all, but it doesn't matter since it's no longer canon lelelelkekekekek), I kind of feel like his Forgotten Realms series would be better geared towards people who are new to fantasy or young readers getting into fantasy. Are his books perfect? No, not really. I tried re-reading some of the books during this past winter break, but I could only get through the first two trilogies. Come Legacy of the Drow, and my interest was starting to wane, and I kept asking myself how I was able to slag through it when I was younger. My main problem with Salvatore though is I've never read any original works by him, and by original I mean stemming from a universe that he himself crafted. He didn't make Dungeons and Dragons, nor did he make Star Wars. He was pretty much just handed material and told to write something. Granted, he does some good things with his books, but at the same time he also does some pretty bad shit, often going into unnecessary detail about the most petty shit. From what I've heard, he's started to "get better" with the last couple of Drizzt books, but I'm still unsure as to whether I want to sink any money into them, let alone the Artemis Entreri novels that I wanted to read back before I lost interest in fantasy novels. I wouldn't consider him one of THE worst authors, but he's definitely a bad one that needs to expand his horizons and just learn when to let go of his past successes.
 
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