Worst Celebrity Cooks

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It's only 3/4 the work and most of the cleanup as really cooking for tv dinner results!
 
Corypheus said:
I would go with Sandra Lee. The Kwanzaa Cake still hurts my mind.
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I love Aunt Sandy. She gets trashed by 6 pm and fucks up dinner so you just have pizza instead. I love her attempts at ethnic food.

Chicken that's hasn't been seasoned with salt and pepper with cream of chicken soup as the base for the sauce.

*chops an onion**adds onion soup mix**chugs cocktail*

COCKTAIL TIME!!!

 
I would not call her a cook, but Rachael Ray.

I used to jack it to her making her "sammies" and skillfully using her "garbage bowl", but later on I found her to be very annoying.

I have read she is pretty tubby now.
 
I almost hate to say it, but Guy Fieri isn't even a cook any more. I remember the first season of Food Network Star when my family and I were all really rooting for him to win. He started out really fun to watch, his cooking show was good, and Triple D was actually not annoying at first. Now he's just a dude that appears to be trapped in a 90's time vortex who gets paid to eat. Guy, stop. You've gained 40 pounds, you have six kinds of diabeetus, you sweat butter. It's time to come home from Flavortown.

If people from Food Network Challenge count, does anyone remember Stevie Famulari? She was a total nutbar who's cakes were gross and weird at best and downright horrifying and dangerous at worst. Kerry Vincent was a frequent judge on the show, and was VERY prim and proper with a bit of Simon Cowell in her judging. If your fondant covering looked like dogshit she would not hesitate to tell you. This didn't work with the artsy, free-spirited, "I drink my paint thinner" Stevie Famulari.
She appeared on an episode where the contestents were supposed to make a cake for a secret person. That person? Kerry Vincent. Oh the shit that would go down. Rather then describe the literally flaming hot mess that this deranged woman vomited forth, let the picture speak for itself.

foodnetworkcake+3.jpg

IT WAS LEGITIMATLY ON FIRE AT SOME POINT OF THE SHOW. THAT'S FOAM FROM A FIRE EXTINGUISHER.
 
Dr. Studman M.D. said:
I love Aunt Sandy. She gets trashed by 6 pm and fucks up dinner so you just have pizza instead. I love her attempts at ethnic food.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=_DXqiSJ_PsgChicken that's hasn't been seasoned with salt and pepper with cream of chicken soup as the base for the sauce.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=FbLjYNUvEDw*chops an onion**adds onion soup mix**chugs cocktail*

COCKTAIL TIME!!!

https://youtube.com/watch?v=2jaRjhVYkxw
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Instant rice plus canned and frozen everything.

Sandra Lee is the reason why Tumblr hates it when white people cook ethnic food.
 
Anne Burell. She's just a bitch. Her third time competing on Chopped she pushed a food stand off her table so she could have more room. She told one of"students" on Worst Cooks in America to smile while they were doing a challenge and trying to focus. She wouldn't leave them alone and then yelled at them when they got confused. She's terrible on Beat Bobby Flay and has the same problem of harassing competitors (not counting Flay).

I'll give her one credit. She can actually cook.
 
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Bunny Tracks said:
Anne Burell. She's just a bitch. Her third time competing on Chopped she pushed a food stand off her table so she could have more room. She told one of"students" on Worst Cooks in America to smile while they were doing a challenge and trying to focus. She wouldn't leave them alone and then yelled at them when they were confused. She's terrible on Beat Bobby Flay and has the same problem of harassing competitors (not counting Flay).

I'll give her one credit. She can actually cook.
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She also does this;

 
Honestly, Sandra Lee's cocktails aren't horrible.

Boozey as all hell, but they're competent.

Oh, wait. Her show is about making food and not drinking during the day time?
 
breadandcircuses said:
Honestly, Sandra Lee's cocktails aren't horrible.

Boozey as all hell, but they're competent.

Oh, wait. Her show is about making food and not drinking during the day time?
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She once made a cocktail with lemonade and half-and-half, the acid curdles milk. She clearly didn't make the cocktail before filming the episode it was on because she took a sip and tried to suppress a cringe. Still better than trying to act like blue berries floating in Hpnotiq will impress your guest.
 
Fanny Cradock.

Here's her making a mincemeat (as in the stuff you put in mince pies) omelette:


And here's the career ending incident where she pretended to vom at the fare of the woman who won Cook of the Realm (a Masterchef precursor):


Just remember, boys and girls - if you follow the recipe correctly, your upside-down cakes will look just like Fanny's!
 
Martha Stewart, for never ever being seen to mix anything with her hands, even when it is optimal to do so.

Those US TV cooks who never taste anything during cooking because 'food safety'.

Valentine Warner for being a cock
 
That dumb wop from the Cake Boss show. He bugs the crap out of me for some reason.
 
Ginger Piglet said:
Fanny Cradock.

Here's her making a mincemeat (as in the stuff you put in mince pies) omelette:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=EWTg78lug90
And here's the career ending incident where she pretended to vom at the fare of the woman who won Cook of the Realm (a Masterchef precursor):

https://youtube.com/watch?v=eW-2fclfRpI
Just remember, boys and girls - if you follow the recipe correctly, your upside-down cakes will look just like Fanny's!
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What's going on with that lady's eyebrows. I've seen better on cholas.
 
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