Worst of Stephen King - Worst books or stories

[Chester Rigby]

I just read One For the Road last night, and I gotta say...I loved it! But I also loved Jerusalem's Lot, so now I'm keeping my eyes peeled for a copy of Salem's Lot because, yeah, I want more. This is Stephen King at his best, in my opinion.

But yesterday I was at the Goodwill in my city. I now have a copy of Dreamcatcher. I saw the movie when it first came out many years ago. So, Lampreys coming out of people's asses: the movie scares me. I heard Rose Madder was pretty suck, and I imagine this one might suck just as hard because Goddamn with that movie. Morgan fucking Freeman couldn't carry it. And on top of everything else, it's supposed to be an allegory about having cancer??

The movie is awful, yes. But the book isn't much better. I like to describe it as "Stephen King meets Independence Day".

 

[The Nothingness]

I think Koontz is far superior to King in pretty much every way. The gorier Scooby Doo analogy is funny, because he knows how to be silly when it is called for, but he's a really excellent writer. He knows how to get to the point, unlike King. He writes excellent evil characters, and he knows how to humanize without making excuses for their shitty behavior. (oh they had a hard childhood!!) They're evil and usually irredeemable.

That and he writes awesome protagonists. Really likable, relatable guys that sometimes manage to be angelic in a way. They're flawed individuals, but they work hard and they want to do what's right. And for his side characters, they're not all secretly weird or perverted or have ulterior, creepy motives. They are just regular, relatable individuals who are what they are. He's not trying to be edgy and gross like King. That being said, he knows how to write a despicable, disgusting antagonists, but they pretty much always get what's coming to them in the end and it's extremely satisfying to read them getting their comeuppance. He's not like these authors where everything has to be negative or end on a down note. His books often end on a sad note, but there is still a happy ending in there.

Unlike King, there are not many adaptation of Koontz's works and you would think streaming companies would greenlight some of his novels for future projects. I am rereading Phantoms and I think that novel could work as a mini-series. Then again with how modern Hollywood writers are, maybe it's best that his novels are not being adapted for film and streaming platforms.

 

[Caesare]

Unlike King, there are not many adaptation of Koontz's works and you would think streaming companies would greenlight some of his novels for future projects. I am rereading Phantoms and I think that novel could work as a mini-series. Then again with how modern Hollywood writers are, maybe it's best that his novels are not being adapted for film and streaming platforms.

There are a few from back in the day, a few TV movies and stuff. I remember when I was a kid watching a TV movie based on a Koontz novel that had one of the Bob's from Office Space playing the killer. McGinnley I think the actors name is? He played the skinnier Bob in Office Space if you saw that movie.

The Odd Thomas movie from awhile back was surprisingly decent, but that was made right on the cusp of everything going totally woke and lame.

I think there are a few Watcher movies too, but only the first movie follows the book, but only barely, and they're not all that great IIRC. And there's an older movie adaptation of one of his older novels from the 1970s, the one with the robot house that had the evil AI running it.

You're right though, some of his novels would work great as a Netflix movie or even a short, one season series. I think a short, modern series of the Watcher book could be extremely awesome if they did it right. Or that book where the hotel is built on a portal that flips back and forth between the present and a future destroyed by nanomachines.

 

[Candlelight Desolation]

I recall reading needful things and there's a part where someone needs to go the the old farmhouse where Cujo took place and dig something up, its a coffee can and in it are pictures of some chick getting fucked by a large dog...

If we are on the point out weird sexual things in King books, I remember reading The Stand ages ago. Think it was on the first 10 pages where the character opens his fridge and sees some burnt sausages and thinks of them as "severed pygmy cocks".

I'm not appalled. Have read far worse but it's just fucking weird how sex obsessed he can be. Makes me think of all those early aught stories on fanfic where they would put in sex and rape. At least they had an excuse of being teens going through puberty and thinking it made their stories much more "mature". For King, it's just cringy.

I wouldn't be surprised if King is just putting all of his actual sexual fantasies on the page. You can chalk some of it up to his old coke habits, but part of me is reminded how scads of "male feminist" types have been busted for being sex pests.

 

[Constellationzero]

The movie is awful, yes. But the book isn't much better. I like to describe it as "Stephen King meets Independence Day".

I always refer to it as: Lampreys coming out of people's asses: The Movie.

 

[skykiii]

I think there are a few Watcher movies too, but only the first movie follows the book, but only barely, and they're not all that great IIRC. And there's an older movie adaptation of one of his older novels from the 1970s, the one with the robot house that had the evil AI running it.

See, now I'm thinking the "Koontz books are basically gorier Scooby Doo" was underselling it a bit.

Because evil AI that takes over a house... that's a Shadowrun module, but also I swear there's an episode of He-Man 1983 and Transformers G1 that both have this as their plot.

 

[Cats]

I love a bunch of his stuff but I'll take any or all of his worst work over most the crap he has written on twitter since becoming just another insufferably political out of touch with reality multimillionaire hollywood type.

 

[Flaming Carrot]

See, now I'm thinking the "Koontz books are basically gorier Scooby Doo" was underselling it a bit.

Because evil AI that takes over a house... that's a Shadowrun module, but also I swear there's an episode of He-Man 1983 and Transformers G1 that both have this as their plot.

Koontz's books were a lot more varied in subject matter and some of them were considerably darker than the books he writes now. For example, the evil AI book you're referring to is Demon Seed, and not only does the AI take over a house, it wants to get the woman inside pregnant. It's been a while since I read them, but I recall his books Night Chills and Whispers being particularly grim.

The reason the "gorier Scooby Doo" is apt for his current work is because he's toned done the gore, added more humor, and there's pretty much a dog in every book he writes. The dog is often super intelligent, and sometimes he writes the story from the dog's perspective. He even found a way to write three non-fiction books about his own dog.

He's not a bad writer but he's definitely been phoning it in for some time. However, if you love golden retrievers, Dean Koontz will be your favorite author.

 

[Caesare]

See, now I'm thinking the "Koontz books are basically gorier Scooby Doo" was underselling it a bit.

Because evil AI that takes over a house... that's a Shadowrun module, but also I swear there's an episode of He-Man 1983 and Transformers G1 that both have this as their plot.

And that came out in 1973.

 

[Buttz McSmellington]

I like how this thread has basically become people suggesting better horror books than Stephen King.

The only thing I've read by Koontz was called The Voice of the Night or something like that. It was about these two friends and one of them is a psychopath who becomes jealous when his friend starts dating a girl. I liked it but I can understand the gory Scooby-Doo aspect people are talking about. The ending was a bit silly if I remember correctly.

Has anyone read any John Ajvide Lindqvist? I really enjoy some of his short stories. My biggest complaint about him would be how everyone in his books listens to The fuckin' Smiths.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Sometimes, his books will start out as one thing but then turn into something completely different as they go on.

Which is why I swore off reading him or wasting money onto his books, no matter how small or cheap. Oooh, a child was ~hypnotised and nothing actually cool happens! Ooh, there are ugly lizard aliens with vag-like mouthes!

First one was called "Demon child", and second "Gates of Hell" (translated), and I am still assmad.

 

[Caesare]

The only thing I've read by Koontz was called The Voice of the Night or something like that.

I read that one. That's one of his earlier books IIRC. It was okay. The version I read was a paperback reprint, and it had a little commentary from the author at the end that said when he wrote his first draft of that book, the publisher read it and wanted him to end it with the evil kid winning and killing the former friend and the girlfriend. Koontz held out and the book was better for it because it would have really sucked for that tale to end on a downer like that. Stupid, faggot edgelord publisher.

Which is why I swore off reading him or wasting money onto his books, no matter how small or cheap. Oooh, a child was ~hypnotised and nothing actually cool happens! Ooh, there are ugly lizard aliens with vag-like mouthes!

First one was called "Demon child", and second "Gates of Hell" (translated), and I am still assmad.

I haven't read those two, but that's what I like about his books. I like how "the Face" started out as a crime thriller with a serial killer but ended up with a bit of supernatural stuff halfway through. I dig that stuff. The Face is another good book of his btw.

He's not a bad writer but he's definitely been phoning it in for some time.

Yeah, he's got like 9 books a year coming out now. That's naturally gonna hurt the quality somewhat, I think. I think the newest book of his that I read was "The Good Guy" from 2007. That one was good but it wasn't a horror it was a thriller IIRC. I haven't read any of his newer stuff but he's constantly cranking em out. He's got enough old books to keep anyone busy for awhile.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

NOS4A2 was written by one of SKs sons, Joe Hill, and it also has gay sex and pedo stuff in it.
Just something off about how those topics gets into the entire King family's books.
I haven't read any of Tabitha Kings' books, but gay/pedo is most likely in her books as well.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

the only stepeh king book i read was insomnia. i read it way back in HS so i dont remember much of it. i recall i sort of liked it. i found some of it interesting, like the higher dimension aliens (or were they demons?) and the one bad one who killed people by cutting their higher dimension aura or something(is that what happened?). i also recall liking the character who goes schizo and rants about truckloads of aborted fetuses or something. i dont recall the ending at all but i think i was disappointed in it. i do remember feeling the book was disjointed and that he lost the thread of the book at times.

overall while i sort of liked it, i didnt like it enough to be inspired to pick up another of his books.

 

[Active User]

I've ended up finding that I like his smaller scale stuff better than when things go all cosmic. The Running Man and The Long Walk from the Bachman days were pretty neat. I feel like going into big abstract extravagances just exacerbates his problems with closing out a story. He gets too bogged down in all the lore and expanse and whatnot and the core story suffers for it. The Long Walk itself probably had one of his simplest premises, it's just an endurance test where the losers get shot until there's only one yet, but it manages to be more effective as a story and as horror than the more abstract stuff because of that simplicity and the much closer to real life premise.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

NOS4A2 was written by one of SKs sons, Joe Hill, and it also has gay sex and pedo stuff in it.
Just something off about how those topics gets into the entire King family's books.
I haven't read any of Tabitha Kings' books, but gay/pedo is most likely in her books as well.

Great to know SK molested ALL his kids T_T
Shitass book also clogs up searching for Buzz Lightyear vampire robot stuff.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

I haven't read any of Tabitha Kings' books, but gay/pedo is most likely in her books as well.

I read one of them. In it, a teenage girl is blowing her stepfather in exchange for weed. It wasn't a terribly written book, either, even though everyone who lives in their town claims she's way crazier than he is.

 

[Jason Wynn]

everyone who lives in their town claims she's way crazier than he is.

Got any stories? I actually know very little about Tabitha King. I haven’t read any of her books and the only photos I’ve seen of her made me snicker because she looks like if Stephen married his sister. Seriously it’s like Millhouse’s parents on The Simpsons

 

[The Taco Santo!]

Supposedly she wears a heavy parka all year round and smells like a goat.

 

[Caesare]

The Running Man and The Long Walk from the Bachman days were pretty neat.

That's the one King book I'd really like to read, The Running Man. I hear it's a lot different from the movie, as in it goes around the entire country rather than being contained in an arena like in the Schwarzenegger flick. I'd like to finish reading Pet Sematary as well. I started reading that one years ago while in a library, but I never checked it out at the time and I never picked it up again. What I read of that one, I remember it being pretty good and really drawing me in.