Worst of Stephen King - Worst books or stories

[Flaming Carrot]

I just read One For the Road last night, and I gotta say...I loved it! But I also loved Jerusalem's Lot, so now I'm keeping my eyes peeled for a copy of Salem's Lot because, yeah, I want more. This is Stephen King at his best, in my opinion.

But yesterday I was at the Goodwill in my city. I now have a copy of Dreamcatcher. I saw the movie when it first came out many years ago. So, Lampreys coming out of people's asses: the movie scares me. I heard Rose Madder was pretty suck, and I imagine this one might suck just as hard because Goddamn with that movie. Morgan fucking Freeman couldn't carry it. And on top of everything else, it's supposed to be an allegory about having cancer??

Dreamcatcher is not his best book, but it's at least better than the movie, which was incomprehensible.

 

[Troonologist PhD]

I haven't actually read many of his works, so I haven't read any I disliked. I even liked Doctor Sleep when I read it. Except for that damn IT sewer train. That scene will haunt me forever.

 

[Megaroad 2012]

The story was called Trucks. Movie based on it was Maximum Overdrive. Another movie was named Trucks too and had one of the silliest movie kills of all time.

Maximum Overdrive is such a fun movie and captures King's kinetic energy better than any other director did, all without the baggage too.

Nostalgic for me as well because whenever it was on TV in the 90's, my mom would watch it no matter what. She has a momcrush on Emilio Estevez.

 

[Gar For Archer]

I read a decent amount of Stephen King in high school, and even enjoyed a lot of stories that are widely considered shit (Tommyknockers, Duma Key). The only one that bored me to death that I couldn’t even finish was From A Buick 8. I don’t know what it was about it that was just so thoroughly unengaging.

 

[Constellationzero]

I just got a hold of a hardback copy of Needful Things. I haven't watched the movie or anything, and right now I'm reading Quitter's Inc. Anybody have their own thoughts on Needful Things?

 

[Mega Man II Intro - GB]

The ending of Needful Things is true laugh-out-loud Stephen King.

Spoiler: needful things spoilers

"The coming of the White! Oh Jeezum! The White is coming!" the protagonist received a vision of a cowboy riding through a field of roses. "The White!" he screamed. He flapped his hands at the boogeymonster, casting shadows on the wall that attacked the monster's shadow. "Aiiiiiiie!" screamed the monster. The monster fled from town, his torn shadow trailing behind him. And now Castle Rock could rest easy, at least until Stephen King wanted to jerk himself off and write another novel taking place in the same damn town.

 

[skykiii]

I could never stand (pun not intended) King's works. Hate this guy. His books are millions of pages of stupid shit nobody cares about and then finally things start happening. He's one of those authors I feel is astroturfed because people agree with his politics, so they try to pretend his writing isn't shit.

That or they just get off on all the disturbed sex shit.

 

[Fliddaroonie]

Stephen King was one of the authors I loved when I was a teenager and read to get away from all the Harry Potter faggotry but rereading some of his stuff now a days it's a mixed bag.

Some older titles really need an editor. IT and especially The Stand (and it's mind numbing 400 additional page turbo directors cut edition) come to mind. Really wish Flagg won over those limp wristed dorks from Free Zone.

His current output feels like a parody of himself. Cell was the first time I never bothered to finish one of his books I started.

Course he still has a solid body of work like Misery, Dead Zone, Firestarter and The Shining, one of the rare books that actually creeped me out while reading.

Cell is pretty dire. That said, the film deviates somewhat (a whole lot) from the book, and there's a hilarious scene with the 'phoners on a football field. That whole scene made me laugh to hard my date had to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre cos I inhaled popcorn.

 

[Megaroad 2012]

Cell is pretty dire. That said, the film deviates somewhat (a whole lot) from the book, and there's a hilarious scene with the 'phoners on a football field. That whole scene made me laugh to hard my date had to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre cos I inhaled popcorn.

Didn't even know it had a movie.

 

[Constellationzero]

The ending of Needful Things is true laugh-out-loud Stephen King.

Spoiler: needful things spoilers

"The coming of the White! Oh Jeezum! The White is coming!" the protagonist received a vision of a cowboy riding through a field of roses. "The White!" he screamed. He flapped his hands at the boogeymonster, casting shadows on the wall that attacked the monster's shadow. "Aiiiiiiie!" screamed the monster. The monster fled from town, his torn shadow trailing behind him. And now Castle Rock could rest easy, at least until Stephen King wanted to jerk himself off and write another novel taking place in the same damn town.

Wonder if Tabitha has ever read any of his manuscripts out loud. Like, does she do it with a straight face? Does she have moments where she's like Jesus...I'm married to that guy...

 

[Mega Man II Intro - GB]

Wonder if Tabitha has ever read any of his manuscripts out loud. Like, does she do it with a straight face?

His wife looks like a bag lady. You can tell she's one of those who's absolutely devoted to "her man" and probably shares his fetishes.

 

[Megaroad 2012]

Wonder if Tabitha has ever read any of his manuscripts out loud. Like, does she do it with a straight face? Does she have moments where she's like Jesus...I'm married to that guy...

I mean, if it wasn't for her digging Carrie out of the trash, Steve would still be an alcoholic teacher, making cool posters.

 

[Black Light Red Panic]

Never actually read any Stephen King but I like to trash him because having aggressive opinions and substance abuse problems makes me a better writer.

Should I read IT? What is the abject best of Stephen King and absolute essential.

 

[Mega Man II Intro - GB]

Should I read IT? What is the abject best of Stephen King and absolute essential.

It. A slice-of-life horror anime set in 1950s/1980s midsize-town Maine.
The Long Walk. Just good simple horror. No monsters. The people are the monsters!
The Gunslinger. If you liked it enough, read the next book. Continue with that pattern for the first four Dark Tower books then pretend he died from that car hitting him.

 

[IDanceonTrannyGraves]

Never actually read any Stephen King but I like to trash him because having aggressive opinions and substance abuse problems makes me a better writer.

Should I read IT? What is the abject best of Stephen King and absolute essential.

This is my opinion so it will differ from other people.

Generally, you're good with any book from Carrie (his first book in 74) up to and including the first three Dark Tower books. (1991). That may be partly from nostalgia glasses, but I don't think so - not entirely anyway.

After that (and after his rehab) it's hit and miss. Good later books (to me) are - The Green Mile, the rest of the Dark Tower series (but it gets divisive), 11/22/63 and Revival (which I really enjoyed). His short story collections are generally a safe bet - even the later ones. He's a pretty good short story writer. I would just say avoid anything after 2016. I haven't touched anything of his after he got TDS.

 

[BootlegPopeye]

I swear I'm not saying this to be glib, but I've never liked any of his works. His supposedly better works from his earlier writing period had completely unlikable and unbelievable characters. The movie adaptations were no better. Within about 10 minutes I hated Carrie the character and wanted John Travolta to run over her with his car in the movie.

I love horror fiction too, that's the sad part. But even his short stories suck. One of the worst ones he did was made into an episode of tales from the dark side, a syndicated 80s TV show that he had a lot to do with in the early seasons. There was an episode based on his story called The word processor of the gods, which in it the man is able to use a word processor to basically erase his family and give himself the one he always wanted which is the family of his brother. There's no moral, nothing learned, it's just a have your cake and eat it too while you murder your son out of existence. What a repulsive story that was and the absolute worst episode of that show.

The guy's a piece of shit on a personal level and I think that's why everything he writes is terrible.

 

[TurkishOreo]

I swear I'm not saying this to be glib, but I've never liked any of his works. His supposedly better works from his earlier writing period had completely unlikable and unbelievable characters. The movie adaptations were no better. Within about 10 minutes I hated Carrie the character and wanted John Travolta to run over her with his car in the movie.

I love horror fiction too, that's the sad part. But even his short stories suck. One of the worst ones he did was made into an episode of tales from the dark side, a syndicated 80s TV show that he had a lot to do with in the early seasons. There was an episode based on his story called The word processor of the gods, which in it the man is able to use a word processor to basically erase his family and give himself the one he always wanted which is the family of his brother. There's no moral, nothing learned, it's just a have your cake and eat it too while you murder your son out of existence. What a repulsive story that was and the absolute worst episode of that show.

The guy's a piece of shit on a personal level and I think that's why everything he writes is terrible.

Processor sounds like Smosh's Magic keyboard where Anthony does the retarded thing and ends up stuck in a bluescreen forever.

Was it really neccessary to have 800 pages for IT?
I mean some of those pages have a kid orgy in it.

 

[Professor G. Raff]

When I was in high school my dad had like every one of his books so I read pretty much every one of his classic catalogue, It'd be easier to list the ones I didn't read. My taste was less refined (and it's been a decade and a half) so I have trouble remembering any huge issues I had, though I can tell you I would not have the patience to read some of those 1000 page+ bastards... yes, I read the autistic complete version of The Stand.

The most recent time I read any of his work was about 4 years back when I finished the Dark Tower series starting with a re-read of the first 3 1/2 books because I quit in the middle of Wizard and Glass back in the day because I was so bored of Roland's past... and I never quit books back then. I really enjoyed the first few, but as they went on they started getting lame and disconnected with him completely sidelining things he set up and things not fitting together in a coherent way. By the time I got to the anticlimactic end I understood why King gets shit sometimes. Him writing himself in was laughable, I guess he wanted to graduate from every protagonist only representing himself.

A few years before that I also read Rage and that was solely because he didn't want people to. I gotta say, disowning your own fictional work because it has some mirror to bad things in reality is peak cuck behavior and really shows why he should not be taken seriously. This is when I found out he was an idiot, this was before I realized the left wing was actually against everything it claimed to champion (censorship, in this case) and considered myself part of it in like 2014... so ol' King really fucked up and his behavior was actually a very early redpill.

King had some interesting ideas back in the day, but even then he could have used a team of sober editors to trim the excesive fat. Nowadays I wouldn't trust him to write a flyer for a lost cat.

 

[Dean Pentel]

I haven't actually read many of his works, so I haven't read any I disliked. I even liked Doctor Sleep when I read it. Except for that damn IT sewer train. That scene will haunt me forever.

Did he ever reveal what drugs he was on to think that was a good idea to write?

 

[Tootsie Bear]

I swear I'm not saying this to be glib, but I've never liked any of his works. His supposedly better works from his earlier writing period had completely unlikable and unbelievable characters. The movie adaptations were no better. Within about 10 minutes I hated Carrie the character and wanted John Travolta to run over her with his car in the movie.

I love horror fiction too, that's the sad part. But even his short stories suck. One of the worst ones he did was made into an episode of tales from the dark side, a syndicated 80s TV show that he had a lot to do with in the early seasons. There was an episode based on his story called The word processor of the gods, which in it the man is able to use a word processor to basically erase his family and give himself the one he always wanted which is the family of his brother. There's no moral, nothing learned, it's just a have your cake and eat it too while you murder your son out of existence. What a repulsive story that was and the absolute worst episode of that show.

The guy's a piece of shit on a personal level and I think that's why everything he writes is terrible.

This is how I felt about reading Children of the Corn for the first time. Growing up I owned the first and second movies. I liked them so much I regularly rented the sequels at Hollywood Video the employees told commented that my friends and I were in a Children of the Corn cult and for our parents to watch out!

Ultimately when I discovered a remake was in the works that was being praised as closer to the original I figured I'd check it out and finally purchase the Night Shift collection which had the original short story. Boy were they bad. The original movie wasn't perfect but it was a fun killer kid movie with weird super natural elements. Here the original story was a moody husband protagonists beating and berating his hysterical wife, who are both ultimately offed by the killer kids and He Who Walks Behind The Rows.

Ironically the best short story in his Night Shift collection was Trucks. Which the movies Maximum Overdrive and Trucks were based on. No matter how you feel about the movies I really enjoyed the short story. What the story reminded me of was Night of the Living Dead but with killer sentient trucks at a truck stop!