Would you date a girl with... - (Assume she's decently attractive and into you. Like a 7/10.)

zero-who

zero-who

Your honor, my client can't help being a Gemini.
kiwifarms.net
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Nov 18, 2019
1. A suspended driver's license?
2. A criminal record?
3. An expulsion from an accredited college or university?
4. Inverted nipples?
5. An eyebrow piercing?
6. Sickle cell anemia?
7. Kleptomania?
8. Diagnosed astraphobia (fear of thunder and lightning)?
9. A collection of her own toenail clippings?
10. A severe caffeine addiction?
11. A Discord Nitro account?
12. A YouTube account with over 250k subscribers?
13. Green hair?
14. A crush on your dad?
15. A communist flag in her bedroom?
16. 300+ hours logged in Genshin Impact?
17. A subscription to Nikocado Avocado's OnlyFans?
18. Narcissistic personality disorder?
19. A professionally-made fursuit?
20. Tattoo sleeves on both arms?
21. Bee/beeself pronouns?
22. A Hetalia body pillow?
23. Snoop Dogg as her ex-boyfriend?
24. A piss jug collection?
25. A nicotine addiction?
26. An administrator account on Wikipedia?
27. Autism?
28. Chlamydia?
29. A Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT?
30. A tramp stamp?
31. Short term memory loss?
32. Israeli dual citizenship?
33. No nipples?
34. Three or more nipples?
35. A prosthetic leg?
36. $250k in outstanding student loans?
37. A five-year old child?
38. A five-year old mixed race child?
39. A six-year old pitbull with food aggression?
40. A penis?
41. No vocal cords?
42. A feeder fetish?
44. An account on this website?
45. A thread on this website?
46. Crohn's disease?
47. Hank Hill ass?
48. Pyromania?
49. A tulpa?
50. Borderline personality disorder?
51. A clit piercing?
52. An ex-husband?
53. Two ex-husbands?
54. An ex-wife?
55. Anorexia?
56. A prestigious job working for the World Economic Forum?
57. PTSD from serving in the military?
58. Gingivitis?
59. A foot fetish?
60. An abnormally long neck?
61. A ton of spiderwebs in her house that she refuses to clear out because they "eat all the nasty bugs"?
62. Twelve cats and a chinchilla?
63. Five years to live?
64. A BDSM collar that she won't take off because it was a gift from her dad?
65. Bipolar disorder?
66. A stalker?
67. The tendency to send you BuzzFeed quizzes over text constantly?
68. A kinlist?
69. Every BTS album on vinyl?
 
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No to all except 5, 8, 10, 25, 37, 44, 52, 53, 63

I have in the past dated about half of your list (edit: actually about 1/3) and would not again. For a long time i would date almost anyone I was attracted to, but when someone pointed out my folly in terms of the economic concept of "opportunity cost" (you're missing out on opportunities to date a good person when dating a loser, even if it's "fun") the error of my ways finally hit home
 
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5, 8 and 10 honestly ok as far as character flaws go.
11 is sad but common enough, 12 goes along with 11 and could be neat depending on what they do.
13 and 16 are steps too far, but of everything with a NO its closest to the edge
27, if its high functioning enough.
35 and some of the other physical ones could happen
36, college student gang, I don't really have a choice.
44 would be kinda funny tbh
62 I dunno chinchillas are pretty cool
65 Is a mistake I will probably make again
69 TBH if they tolerate my cringe shit Il tolerate theirs

Damn, guess I could learn something form the person above.
 
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ok lets entertain your tism:
1. A suspended driver's license? sure
2. A criminal record? depends
3. An expulsion from an accredited college or university? yes
4. Inverted nipples? yes
5. An eyebrow piercing? yes
6. Sickle cell anemia? no
7. Kleptomania? no
8. Diagnosed astraphobia (fear of thunder and lightning)? kinda cute so yes
9. A collection of her own toenail clippings? no
10. A severe caffeine addiction? ye, I know the feel
11. A Discord Nitro account? no
12. A YouTube account with over 250k subscribers? maybe
13. Green hair? maybe
14. A crush on your dad? no
15. A communist flag in her bedroom? no
16. 300+ hours logged in Genshin Impact? whatever that means
17. A subscription to Nikocado Avocado's OnlyFans? no
18. Narcissistic personality disorder? no
19. A professionally-made fursuit? no
20. Tattoo sleeves on both arms? depends on the character
21. Bee/beeself pronouns? no
22. A Hetalia body pillow? what?
23. Snoop Dogg as her ex-boyfriend? no
24. A piss jug collection? no
25. A nicotine addiction? no
26. An administrator account on Wikipedia? no
27. Autism? no
28. Chlamydia? no
29. A Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT? what?
30. A tramp stamp? no
31. Short term memory loss? no
32. Israeli dual citizenship? no
33. No nipples? no
34. Three or more nipples? no
35. A prosthetic leg? yes
36. $250k in outstanding student loans? no
37. A five-year old child? depends alot on circumstances and the child
38. A five-year old mixed race child? fuck no
39. A six-year old pitbull with food aggression? no
40. A penis? no
41. No vocal cords? maybe
42. A feeder fetish? no
44. An account on this website? yes
45. A thread on this website? no
46. Crohn's disease? no
47. Hank Hill ass? yes
48. Pyromania? no
49. A tulpa? no
50. Borderline personality disorder? NO
51. A clit piercing? no
52. An ex-husband? no
53. Two ex-husbands? no
54. An ex-wife? maybe
55. Anorexia? no
56. A prestigious job working for the World Economic Forum? maybe
57. PTSD from serving in the military? no
58. Gingivitis? no
59. A foot fetish? sure
60. An abnormally long neck? nah
61. A ton of spiderwebs in her house that she refuses to clear out because they "eat all the nasty bugs"? Yes
62. Twelve cats and a chinchilla? NO
63. Five years to live? no
64. A BDSM collar that she won't take off because it was a gift from her dad? no
65. Bipolar disorder? NO
66. A stalker? no
67. The tendency to send you BuzzFeed quizzes over text constantly? no
68. A kinlist? no
69. Every BTS album on vinyl? what?
 
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1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Sure
4. Yes
5. Yes
6. On the side
7. No
8. Yes
9. No
10. Yes
11. Yes
12. Yes
13. As long as it’s not natural
14. No
15. Yes
16. wtf is that
17. No
18. No
19. No
20. Definitely
21. No
22. No
23. Yes
24. No
25. Yes
26. Maybe
27. Maybe
28. No
29. A what?
30. Yep
31. I forget
32. Yes
33. No
34. No more than ten
35. As long as she lets me use it
36. No
37. No
38. Yes
39. Means no kids so yeah
40. Not if it’s natural
41.
42. No
44. Yes
45. No
46. I forget what that is
47. Yes
48. Yes
49. Yes
50. Yes
51. Yes
52. Yes
53. Yes yes
54. Hell yes
55. No
56. Yes as long as she made me a priority
57. Maybe
58. No
59. Maybe
60. Yeeees
61. Yes
62. No
63. Definitely
64. Definitely
65. Yes no
66. Yes
67. Fuck no
68. A what?
69. Sure why not
 
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1. A suspended driver's license?
Yes
2. A criminal record?
Yes
3. An expulsion from an accredited college or university?
Yes
4. Inverted nipples?
Yes
5. An eyebrow piercing?
Yes
6. Sickle cell anemia?
No
7. Kleptomania?
No
8. Diagnosed astraphobia (fear of thunder and lightning)?
Yes
9. A collection of her own toenail clippings?
Maybe
10. A severe caffeine addiction?
Yes
11. A Discord Nitro account?
Probably not
12. A YouTube account with over 250k subscribers?
Maybe
13. Green hair?
Maybe
14. A crush on your dad?
No
15. A communist flag in her bedroom?
No
16. 300+ hours logged in Genshin Impact?
No
17. A subscription to Nikocado Avocado's OnlyFans?
No
18. Narcissistic personality disorder?
No
19. A professionally-made fursuit?
No
20. Tattoo sleeves on both arms?
Probably not
21. Bee/beeself pronouns?
No
22. A Hetalia body pillow?
No
23. Snoop Dogg as her ex-boyfriend?
No
24. A piss jug collection?
No
25. A nicotine addiction?
Yes
26. An administrator account on Wikipedia?
No
27. Autism?
No
28. Chlamydia?
Yes, with antibiotics.
29. A Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT?
Yes
30. A tramp stamp?
Yes
31. Short term memory loss?
Yes
32. Israeli dual citizenship?
Yes
33. No nipples?
No
34. Three or more nipples?
Yes
35. A prosthetic leg?
Maybe
36. $250k in outstanding student loans?
No
37. A five-year old child?
Maybe
38. A five-year old mixed race child?
Probably not
39. A six-year old pitbull with food aggression?
No
40. A penis?
No
41. No vocal cords?
No
42. A feeder fetish?
No
44. An account on this website?
Yes
45. A thread on this website?
No
46. Crohn's disease?
No
47. Hank Hill ass?
Yes
48. Pyromania?
Yes
49. A tulpa?
No
50. Borderline personality disorder?
No
51. A clit piercing?
No
52. An ex-husband?
Maybe
53. Two ex-husbands?
No
54. An ex-wife?
No
55. Anorexia?
No
56. A prestigious job working for the World Economic Forum?
No
57. PTSD from serving in the military?
No
58. Gingivitis?
Yes
59. A foot fetish?
Yes
60. An abnormally long neck?
No
61. A ton of spiderwebs in her house that she refuses to clear out because they "eat all the nasty bugs"?
Yes
62. Twelve cats and a chinchilla?
No
63. Five years to live?
Yes
64. A BDSM collar that she won't take off because it was a gift from her dad?
No
65. Bipolar disorder?
No
66. A stalker?
Yes
67. The tendency to send you BuzzFeed quizzes over text constantly?
Yes
68. A kinlist?
No
69. Every BTS album on vinyl?
Maybe. Do they even make those?

This really brought me back to my Myspace days, thanks.
 
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No to most.
I dated a girl with inverted nipples. I would again. Pegleg doesn't bother me. 5 years left to live seems like a plus to me, honestly.
But (or Butt) What is "Hank Hill ass"?
 
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1. A suspended driver's license?
Yes, Alah doesn't want women driving cars anyway.
2. A criminal record?
She's already overlooking mine
3. An expulsion from an accredited college or university?
Based
4. Inverted nipples?
Nipples are nipples.
5. An eyebrow piercing?
Sleep with a magnet until she gets the message you can have these things removed.
6. Sickle cell anemia?
Sickles are cool having sickle cells is pretty metal
7. Kleptomania?
So long as she doesn't mind when I take my things back. And also take anything of hers I want.
8. Diagnosed astraphobia (fear of thunder and lightning)?
I have a thundershirt for my dog. They're basically the same thing as women so I bet it would work.
9. A collection of her own toenail clippings?
I'll add mine to it in solidarity.
10. A severe caffeine addiction?
Robbing a 7-11 over coffee is hardcore.
11. A Discord Nitro account?
Does this mean I'm the one who groomed her?
12. A YouTube account with over 250k subscribers?
Nobody subscribes to woman's youtube accounts lol. But sure in this fantasy world why not.
13. Green hair?
Sure apparently I'm dating an anime girl.
14. A crush on your dad?
All women have a crush on my dad.
15. A communist flag in her bedroom?
Could be a war trophy or something based.
16. 300+ hours logged in Genshin Impact?
Nerdy girls are cute.
17. A subscription to Nikocado Avocado's OnlyFans?
She likes lolcows great.
18. Narcissistic personality disorder?
Always looks her best.
19. A professionally-made fursuit?
Has money, great!
20. Tattoo sleeves on both arms?
High pain tolerance. She'll need that to be my girl.
21. Bee/beeself pronouns?
Now I can tell people I'm not straight and get all the special LGBT things great.
22. A Hetalia body pillow?
Nerdy girls are still cute.
23. Snoop Dogg as her ex-boyfriend?
She'll have low standards.
24. A piss jug collection?
TF2 fan based.
25. A nicotine addiction?
Robbing a 7-11 for cigs is less cool but whatever.
26. An administrator account on Wikipedia?
Now I can control the information network of the world.
27. Autism?
It would be hypocritical since I have it too.
28. Chlamydia?
She puts out based.
29. A Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT?
She's really rich now based.
30. A tramp stamp?
High pain tolerance again!
31. Short term memory loss?
This seems very useful. She'll never remember I screwed up.
32. Israeli dual citizenship?
We can run to the holy land if we ever need to. Good to have!
33. No nipples?
It will be like dating someone from one of those old anime where they don't have nipples pretty cool.
34. Three or more nipples?
Nipples are nipples.
35. A prosthetic leg?
Cyborg waifu cool
36. $250k in outstanding student loans?
She'll make it back with the associates degree it got her.
37. A five-year old child?
I love kids but not in a weird way sure.
38. A five-year old mixed race child?
I love the mixed race but not in a weird way sure.
39. A six-year old pitbull with food aggression?
I love puppies they're so cute.
40. A penis?
I have one too, so it would be hypocritical for me to complain about it.
41. No vocal cords?
Mute girls are cute too.
42. A feeder fetish?
You know you can ignore fetishes right?
44. An account on this website?
Woman don't have accounts on this website, but as above we could just hide it and pretend it doesn't exist.
45. A thread on this website?
Yes it will make it much easier to get things to post on her thread.
46. Crohn's disease?
I can blame all my farts on her!
47. Hank Hill ass?
I'm a boob guy.
48. Pyromania?
I'll never be poor gain!
49. A tulpa?
No idea what that is but it sounds exotic.
50. Borderline personality disorder?
This is just called being a woman.
51. A clit piercing?
Back to the magnet.
52. An ex-husband?
That means she's getting free money from some dude who I'm cucking based.
53. Two ex-husbands?
Double the cucking double the money.
54. An ex-wife?
Now I'm cucking a chick cool.
55. Anorexia?
Skinny girls are cute.
56. A prestigious job working for the World Economic Forum?
Economics are boring but money is good sound great.
57. PTSD from serving in the military?
Naturally I need my woman to shoot a gun, so this is a plus.
58. Gingivitis?
You can cure it sure.
59. A foot fetish?
You can still ignore fetishes yeah.
60. An abnormally long neck?
All the easier to choke you my dear!
61. A ton of spiderwebs in her house that she refuses to clear out because they "eat all the nasty bugs"?
I love spiders they're so cute!
62. Twelve cats and a chinchilla?
Fluffy friends to play with!
63. Five years to live?
That is plenty of time.
64. A BDSM collar that she won't take off because it was a gift from her dad?
A family woman perfect marriage material.
65. Bipolar disorder?
Just called being a woman again bro.
66. A stalker?
It is probably me anyway.
67. The tendency to send you BuzzFeed quizzes over text constantly?
Sure I don't read my texts.
68. A kinlist?
Dating someone who thinks they're an anime girl is like one step from dating an anime girl cool.
69. Every BTS album on vinyl?
I have no idea who that is but I bet vinyl costs money so she's probably rich.

In conclusion I'd date any of them or someone with all of them combined. These are all pluses.
 
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1. A suspended driver's license? Yes.
2. A criminal record? Depends what for.
3. An expulsion from an accredited college or university? Yes.
4. Inverted nipples? Yes.
5. An eyebrow piercing? Yes.
6. Sickle cell anemia? Yes.
7. Kleptomania? No.
8. Diagnosed astraphobia (fear of thunder and lightning)? Yes.
9. A collection of her own toenail clippings? No.
10. A severe caffeine addiction? Yes.
11. A Discord Nitro account? Maybe.
12. A YouTube account with over 250k subscribers? Maybe.
13. Green hair? Yes.
14. A crush on your dad? No.
15. A communist flag in her bedroom? No.
16. 300+ hours logged in Genshin Impact? No.
17. A subscription to Nikocado Avocado's OnlyFans? No.
18. Narcissistic personality disorder? No.
19. A professionally-made fursuit? Probably not.
20. Tattoo sleeves on both arms? Yes.
21. Bee/beeself pronouns? No.
22. A Hetalia body pillow? Not unless it's a joke.
23. Snoop Dogg as her ex-boyfriend? No.
24. A piss jug collection? No.
25. A nicotine addiction? Probably not. Cigarette smoke really bothers me.
26. An administrator account on Wikipedia? I already said no commies.
27. Autism? If it's high functioning and she manages it well.
28. Chlamydia? No.
29. A Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT? No.
30. A tramp stamp? No.
31. Short term memory loss? No.
32. Israeli dual citizenship? Yes.
33. No nipples? Does that even happen?
34. Three or more nipples? More just makes it better, baby.
35. A prosthetic leg? Yes.
36. $250k in outstanding student loans? No.
37. A five-year old child? No.
38. A five-year old mixed race child? No.
39. A six-year old pitbull with food aggression? No.
40. A penis? No.
41. No vocal cords? Yes. Sounds like the perfect woman, amirite fellas? ;)
42. A feeder fetish? No.
44. An account on this website? Yes.
45. A thread on this website? No.
46. Crohn's disease? Yes.
47. Hank Hill ass? No.
48. Pyromania? No.
49. A tulpa? No.
50. Borderline personality disorder? No.
51. A clit piercing? No.
52. An ex-husband? Yes.
53. Two ex-husbands? No.
54. An ex-wife? No.
55. Anorexia? No.
56. A prestigious job working for the World Economic Forum? Not unless she's a sleeper agent working to take it down.
57. PTSD from serving in the military? Yes.
58. Gingivitis? No.
59. A foot fetish? Yes.
60. An abnormally long neck? Maybe. Depends.
61. A ton of spiderwebs in her house that she refuses to clear out because they "eat all the nasty bugs"? Yes.
62. Twelve cats and a chinchilla? Maybe.
63. Five years to live? Yes.
64. A BDSM collar that she won't take off because it was a gift from her dad? No.
65. Bipolar disorder? No.
66. A stalker? No.
67. The tendency to send you BuzzFeed quizzes over text constantly? No.
68. A kinlist? No.
69. Every BTS album on vinyl? Yes, if she doesn't talk about it constantly.
 
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1. A suspended driver's license? Maybe
2. A criminal record? Depends on the crime
3. An expulsion from an accredited college or university? Yes, that's based
4. Inverted nipples? That would freak me out.
5. An eyebrow piercing? Yes, and I have.
6. Sickle cell anemia? How would I know?
7. Kleptomania? No.
8. Diagnosed astraphobia (fear of thunder and lightning)? Sure, good opportunity for cuddles.
9. A collection of her own toenail clippings? No.
10. A severe caffeine addiction? No.
11. A Discord Nitro account? A what?
12. A YouTube account with over 250k subscribers? Maybe.
13. Green hair? Hard no.
14. A crush on your dad? Hard, hard no.
15. A communist flag in her bedroom? No.
16. 300+ hours logged in Genshin Impact? No.
17. A subscription to Nikocado Avocado's OnlyFans? No, no, no.
18. Narcissistic personality disorder? No.
19. A professionally-made fursuit? No.
20. Tattoo sleeves on both arms? Girls like this tend to have shit opinions on motorcycles.
21. Bee/beeself pronouns? No.
22. A Hetalia body pillow? No.
23. Snoop Dogg as her ex-boyfriend? What?
24. A piss jug collection? No.
25. A nicotine addiction? Sure.
26. An administrator account on Wikipedia? Nope
27. Autism? HOW autistic?
28. Chlamydia? No.
29. A Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT? Is she gonna sell it?
30. A tramp stamp? Yes, and have done it.
31. Short term memory loss? No.
32. Israeli dual citizenship? Maybe.
33. No nipples? No.
34. Three or more nipples? No, unless they're on an additional boob.
35. A prosthetic leg? Sure.
36. $250k in outstanding student loans? Nope
37. A five-year old child? No.
38. A five-year old mixed race child? No.
39. A six-year old pitbull with food aggression? No.
40. A penis? No.
41. No vocal cords? No.
42. A feeder fetish? No.
44. An account on this website? Yes.
45. A thread on this website? No.
46. Crohn's disease? I'm not sure what that is.
47. Hank Hill ass? I mean I've had worse.
48. Pyromania? No. Either the mental disorder or the Def Leppard album.
49. A tulpa? No.
50. Borderline personality disorder? Hell no.
51. A clit piercing? Nope.
52. An ex-husband? Maybe.
53. Two ex-husbands? Red flag...
54. An ex-wife? Uh...
55. Anorexia? I will help m'lady bulk
56. A prestigious job working for the World Economic Forum?
57. PTSD from serving in the military?
58. Gingivitis? Ewwww
59. A foot fetish? I'd be uncomfortable with anyone admitting that
60. An abnormally long neck? Case by case basis
61. A ton of spiderwebs in her house that she refuses to clear out because they "eat all the nasty bugs"? Very goth, hot
62. Twelve cats and a chinchilla? No
63. Five years to live? I don't know.
64. A BDSM collar that she won't take off because it was a gift from her dad? WTF
65. Bipolar disorder? No
66. A stalker? Pretty sure I can beat him up.
67. The tendency to send you BuzzFeed quizzes over text constantly? This list just got too real
68. A kinlist? No.
69. Every BTS album on vinyl? I...don't know what that is.
 
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