Wraith (and yours) 2024+ Campaign Promises! - Here we post things that should be put into law, or taken away from the law to stop the horribleness of an oppressive government.

[RetardedCat]

My great plan for 2024:

• Finally build a damn wall North to stop the Canadians from coming in.
• Turn California into a prison and build a wall around it. Cut it off from the grid and the internet. Anyone who already lived there and wishes to leave needs to pass a background check.
• Leave the UN because it's useless.
• Leave NATO because it's useless and it's America, just nuke everything.
• Recall all troops back to America. Nuke the middle-east then nuke England.
• Nuke Israel.
• Restore the second amendment so that everyone can own a nuclear submarine or an ICBM or any weapon they want really, as long as they can afford it.
• Decriminalize all drugs, who the fuck cares
• Remove all welfare programs
• Remove all funding from the schooling system especially universities. They can all figure that shit out themselves.
• Reduce government to the smallest size possible by removing everything that isn't congress, the white house or a three letter agency.
• No more universal healthcare programs, no more government paying for any drugs whatsoever.
• ICE gets infinite resources and the right to catapult people into Canada when they illegally enter from Mexico.
• Death sentence for anyone who tries to pass a hate speech law.
• Death sentence for pedos.
• Antifa finally gets to be on the list of terrorist organizations.
• Communism made illegal again.
• Furries are now sent to California until they convert back into normal people.
• Google is now considered a hostile power for sucking Chinese dick and trying to trade tech with them. Every Google employee sentenced to life in California.
• Oh and slavery is legal again but only for those who are in debt to you.

 

[ProgKing of the North]

Nuke the middle-east then nuke England.

• Nuke Israel.

Are we nuking Israel twice or do we not count them as part of the Middle East to lure them into a false sense of security?

 

[RetardedCat]

Are we nuking Israel twice or do we not count them as part of the Middle East to lure them into a false sense of security?

We're nuking it twice

 

[Libtard-Wrecking Krogoth]

im voting for the free gf candidate, to be honest

 

[Milk Mage]

- Legalize weed
- Mandatory gun ownership
- Free GFs
- Rape Google
- Guild economy a la Corporatism
- Start a paramilitary youth organization called the Milk Youth
- Ban plastic
- Recycle or die
- Nuke California
- Move the capital to Pee Pee, Ohio
- Change the national anthem to Rock Lobster by The B-52s

Milk 2024

 

[Absolute Brainlet]

If you vote for me, I promise I'll kickstart World War 3 and cleanse this Earth with nuclear fire.
Absolute Brainlet 2024 - A brighter future in both senses of the word

 

[Count K. Rumulon]

Frog man 2024: Vote for me, and I will do the following.

• All drugs will be legalized. However, I will also be opening at least five rehabilitation centers to help addicts get their lives on track. These will also include beds, showers, high-quality versions of each drug for free and doctors on hand to help in case of an overdose.
• All convicted drug dealers will be considered for a full pardon.
• I will create the National Pedophile Detainment Force (NPDF), a task force led by none other than Chris Hansen himself with the explicit purpose of discovering, locating and arresting Pedophiles across the United States.
• Pedophiles will be given the second harshest punishment possible, being that they get thrown into a pit of snakes.
• Zoophiles will be given the harshest punishment possible, being that they get thrown into a pit of snakes... and also lions, tigers and bears.
• Education, healthcare and aged care will be completely free, with those working in those areas being paid twice as much to five times as much as before depending on the occupation.
• Not voting is now illegal, and the punishment is having to pay a fine of $20 for each time you do not vote.
• While guns are still going to be legal, there will be laws put in place to regulate who can use them, how they are to be used and the conditions for their use.
  • No one under the age of 18 can be seen wielding a firearm of any kind, save for airsoft guns, as those are more hobbyist if anything.
  • Anyone who owns a gun will have to gain a gun license, to keep one, you will have to take a gun safety test every three years. Failure to satisfactorily complete the test will result in the police coming to take your guns away for three years until you can take the test again.
  • Gun owners must keep the gun, ammo and clip in separate safes hidden from any small children.
  • Gun owners can only use guns for hunting, Olympic training purposes and/or self-defense in one's own home.
• While immigration will still be somewhat tough, there will be stations in place across the border between Mexico and the United States to perform background checks, so this way, we can be somewhat selective about who we let in, rather than just blocking people out with a giant fence. (It's not really much of a wall, is it.
• Everyone will be given free water, electricity and other utilities.
• The Internet and mobile phone service will become utilities, meaning no one can capitalize on it by charging a large amount for it.

Those are my promises. I will fight for the people... at least the ones that don't deserve death.

 

[Wraith]

All right, next campaign promises! TIME TO GET ASSASSINATED!

#2 - No canadians can be in any American media except for William Shatner. They can't even work as a gopher or as the caterer.
#3 - Everyone in hollywood and other liberals who supported illegal aliens, from the news media and everywhere can only get paid what the lowest illegal was ever paid by one of them. Since, if I remember right, there was some stories of illegals used for slave labor that means no matter how much a venture they work at makes money, THEY EARN NOTHING!
#4 - One raccoon working at every DMV to make sure things work smoother.
#5 - Chicago, New York, Porkland, Seattle, Detroit and the entirety of southern california gets made into separate states so the places oppressed by them get their own votes.
#6 - (Here's where I die or get accused of terrible crimes to stop this from happening.) No liberal or jewish ownership of American banks so American debt debt stays with Americans.

More to come!

 

[Autocrat]

Pretty sure most of Pelosi's wealth comes from the fact that's her husband is rich.
Also, politicians make a lot but I'm pretty sure a majority of Obama's money for example comes from all of the "speeches" he was paid to give after leaving office. He also had a $60 million dollar book deal which, for all I know, could partially be a front for services he gave as president*.

*Just looked it up and it seems to be the case
Here's Vox trying to rationalize it.

Penguin Random House, which bought the two books, won’t discuss the numbers, but the Financial Times reports that the bidding for world rights surpassed $65 million. That number well exceeds the industry’s already-lofty expectations about the Obamas’ literary earning power: This January, literary agents and publishers predicted to Forbes that Barack Obama’s memoirs might go for as much as $20 million, and a combined Barack/Michelle book deal might net as much as $45 million

So making them earn minimum wage isn't a quick fix.

 

[farts_meller]

Monolith 2024:

• Kill all the liberals.
• Kill all the conservatives.
• Kill all the libertarians.
• Kill all the communists.
• Kill all the fascists.
• Kill all the centrists.
• Kill all the furries.
• Kill all the illegal immigrants.
• Kill all the legal immigrants.
• Kill all the furries.
• Kill all the Muslims.
• Kill all the Christians.
• Kill all the Jews.
• Kill all the Hindus.
• Kill all the Sikhs.
• Kill all the athiests.
• Kill all the agnostics.
• Kill all the furries.
• Kill all the white people.
• Kill all the black people.
• Kill all the hispanic people.
• Kill all the Asian people.
• Kill all the furries.
• Kill the rest of the humans, in case we missed someone you personally don't like.
• Dig up all the furries, burn their bodies, and bury them again.

Edit: I almost forgot: Kill any humanlike AIs we may have made before I'm put into office.

Hispanic doesn't work. You miss some of the bean people, corn people, and alternate starch peoples like tapioca and potato people too, but if you include where tapiocas and taters live, you take out a lot of non spanish and non portuguese speakers twice or more, missing all the pure indios, but there's killed multiple times problems all through the list.

Hispanic seems to be most egregious one to me, as going by that, you are killing a huge assortment of blacks and mullatoes multiple times in the americas, carribean and africa, trying to target people native to the americas and their mullatoe mestizos, in brazil you could end up killing a person for being, hmm
Black (both african and all mixed up native to the americas/us/canada/carribean/the slave descendant only island and town and island
us southeast)
But also some of the
Indio
Spanish
Portuguese
German
British
Probably natives of black heritage from every possible black nationality knowing brazil but flat missing targeting many of the beans and corns

Now my head hurts and I need either alcohol or sleep.

Thanks for the brain ouch.

I am single issue. Wood chippers for anybody who thinks their ideas about how to best run a large republic are anything other than debatable opinions.

 

[MrTroll]

• Women are banned from playing all sports except mud wrestling
• No more black Disney princesses
• If there's grass on the field play ball

 

[TheImportantFart]

Nuke Britfagistan and start again. Britfag Kiwis and possibly their families are the only ones allowed in the bunker.

 

[DeadFish]

My campaign promise would be simple:
Keep me in office, keep me in power and keep me rich and Ill let you do whatever you want to.
As long you do it to those who didnt support me.
You aint going get a better deal then that.