Write a scary story in two sentences

[Sailor_Jupiter]

"The good news is that the cockroach problem has been largely ameliorated by our new drug. The bad news is that the surviving insects have mutated to being three feet long."

There's only one antidote left. Which of your three children will get it?

You were trying to have a baby when the attack happened. So whose child is it?

In the interest of public safety, the government has outlawed guns, dogs, pickup trucks, and testosterone. Tomorrow they start regulating sex.

It was the last library on earth, hidden deep in the mountains... But how long until the revolutionaries find it?

This mummy was odd... He seemed to be wearing metal spectacles, much like the last archaeologist who disappeared!

None of the rest of the family is at home yet, but it's time to give the cat his medicine. The same cat the vet named "Fear Copter."

It was a terrible day for the village, when Marc lost his leg. Now, in the name of equality, they all would.

 

[Wildchild]

I am Wildchild, and I turned into a monster.

Rawr!

 

[DuskEngine]

I am Wildchild, and I turned into a monster.

Rawr!

Wild!

Child!

 

[Tranhuviya]

I'll crack your skull in, just like a archangel. Thing is, is it like - or as?

 

[Leonid Brezhnev]

Chris violently shits his panties.

He does something about it.

 

[ZombieGaryOak]

One night, I found myself sitting alone at the table.

You should have seen the look on my face when I sat down beside me.

 

[Sable]

Despite the care you put into your takeaway choices, you get food poisoning.

There is no toilet paper.

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

Your favorite series gets a reboot.

The dialogue is crowd-sourced from danger hair feminists on Tumblr.

 

[GV 998]

"The sky is made of glass...And now it is falling"

"Children should sleep on top of the bed, not under it. But then, you would too if you saw what was happening on the ceiling."

"The town is completely overrun by vampires. Your car is out of gas"

 

[ZehnBoat]

Chris violently shits his panties.

He does something about it.

Chris realized his mistake too late

Sonichu (c) Ian Brandon Anderson

 

[Sammy]

You have a nightmare that you're Barb Chandler.

You wake up and realize it wasn't a dream.

 

[Shokew]

A grizzly, a panda, and a polar bear (who could talk) all got horny one night.

They knew their weekend was complete when you successfully read this crap!

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

Frank Wu had a horrible nightmare.
Then he remembered that it wasn't a dream - he WAS married to John Flynt.

 

[Sailor_Jupiter]

Hollywood's made a new Lord of the Rings sequel.

By popular demand, every character is a disabled dark-skinned minority heretical-Muslim transexual with vitiligo.

 

[Mimic]

Chris successfully uses hypnosis to rid himself of his ugly growth, reaping the reward of a fully functioning vagnia. One flaw still remains in that his new man-clit is still bent just as his duck was.

 

[Judge Holden]

You wake up and check your phone

Why is it full of photos of you sleeping?

 

[Ho Mo for Women]

Canada has just elected a new prime minister. Her name is Sophie Labelle.

 

[Darwin Watterson]

In a world without internet porn, you pick up a new adult DVD that advertises itself as having your favorite porn star(s) in it. You pop it in, but to your horror, it's just an hour-long sex tape with Donny Long and Eddie Dzial.

An infertile couple wanted to adopt a child. The only one available was Stefonknee Wolscht.

You could be out having fun or getting laid. Instead you're on a gossip forum where retarded autists are discussed by slightly less retarded autists.

 

[c-no]

I log onto the Kiwi Farms at midnight.

Instead, I'm greeted by the unsettling visage of a dangerhair that is staring into my soul.

 

[Strelok]

You logged into the Kiwi Farms.

You do this regularly.