YABookgate

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It’s more important to be “poetic” than it is to use a wide range of words. Alliteration, rhythm, slight rhymes, kennings, grammatic flair, all more important than vocabulary.
That is true. However, it's also true that a decent vocabulary is the foundation of all of those things. Here, let me show you what I mean.


The Fast and the Furious

I’m jolted awake by the shuffle of someone in the hallway. I rub my eyes, then realize what it is. Our upstairs toilet runs, especially at night when someone doesn’t give it a good flush. The sound won’t stop, so I force myself up.

I can’t help but run my fingers along the grooves of the walls, knowing Daddy’s the one that put them up. Every ding or repair is unchanged, like he left it. The only thing different in the house is my room. I’ve painted my walls a rotation of colors, hoping one of them would soothe away my bad dreams. Shake up the house enough to look different, but in the dark, I can see it like it was before.

“Hurry up,” I whisper at the bathroom door, so I don’t wake Mama.

Corinne doesn’t answer. When I notice the door is open a sliver, I push it, blink with the bright light blinding me for a second.

Jamal’s splashing water on his face. His eyes are shut as he wrings his hands together over the sink. I rub my eyes because it looks like red water swirling down the drain.

“Damn, Jamal. What happened to you?”

“Shit.” Jamal jumps back, grabbing a towel. His hands are all jittery as cleans up his face, then bunches the towel into a ball.

I watch the last bit of pink-colored water disappear down the drain.

“Why you always in my business?” Jamal pushes past me, and I’m taken aback at his response. He sounds like he got caught, but I’d already known he’d be in late.

“What’d I catch you doing?” I hit his shoulder playing around, and he flinches. He’s scared. But of what?

“Jamal. You okay?”

I touch his neck to get the rest of what’s on him off, then I make a face when I realize it’s blood. There’s a long scratch across his neck.

“What happened?” I flick the water on and wash up. “You okay?”

I watch him hard because nothing about this fits his late-night routine. I can’t tell if he’s coming or going. I move to ask another question, but Jamal’s already heading off to his room. He gives me a look like I better keep my promise and not dare wake Mama, then shuts his door.

I lie down and listen for movement. The air is thick and hot. There’s heaviness in the atmosphere, like so many nights when the past takes over the present. I try and tell my brain it’s just the wave of an old smell, a phrase someone says that can put me on high alert. I’ve never been able to get over what happened enough to live fully in the now, always rush back to the night Daddy was taken from us. A moment that won’t erase. My sense of déjà vu is heightened by the sound of a vehicle riding down our quarter-mile gravel driveway. I listen more closely, and my heartbeat picks up, throbbing when I recognize there must be two or three cars driving way too fast for our road. A minute later, a knock at the door jolts me.

At a glance, after reading about a line or two, I can tell that this is 4th or 5th-grade prose. A quick readability test with an online tool confirms it, saying it's about Grade 5 reading difficulty. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Simpler texts tend to be easier to read. However, it's quite far from being "teenage" prose. A middle-schooler should be able to read and comprehend this.

The tool says it ranks high for readability, but to be quite honest, I can't tell what the fuck "I try and tell my brain it’s just the wave of an old smell, a phrase someone says that can put me on high alert" is supposed to mean. It is syntactically simple, but the meaning is practically nonsense. The YA author tries to be artsy for a brief moment. "Look at my use of simile!" this passage says. Except there is no meaningful connection between "smell" and "phrase".

A word cloud (and honestly, I think word clouds are kind of silly for most applications, except perhaps for visualizing prose) shows just how repetitive and empty the text is.

wordcloud.png

Too much alliteration is childish. No one wants to hear about how the "big bad boss's Beretta bopped Billy-Bob on the bean" in the middle of a fight scene when you could just tell the audience that he pistol-whipped him. Kennings are used all the time. In bad erotica. Like when someone writes fuck-truncheon when they mean penis.

One of the most important things to do when going back and editing a draft is to make sure that the text flows well from one word to the next. Too much parenthetical text, too many adverbs, sentence splices, and the excessive use of the passive voice can really weaken what is otherwise a decent draft (I'm often guilty of this, myself). Revise, revise, and revise again. Subvocalization usually makes reading take unnecessarily long, but sometimes, it can be a good idea to loudly read each line off in your head. If it sounds wrong, revise. You can never have too many revisions. Well, actually, you can, but only if they make you miss your deadline.

Anyway, a lot of text from YA is about 4th-grade reading level. You can quickly check this with freely-available online tools. Give it a try:



I just find it endlessly amusing that so many grown-ass adults out there are getting so heated about books written at an extremely accessible level of prose that can readily be understood by little kids.

It's not that YA books are bad. There is nothing wrong with accessible novels, per se. There is such a thing as good YA. Mortal Engines is excellent, after all.

However, people have cited Harry Potter and The Hunger Games like they're sacred texts, and some even hinge their entire geopolitical worldview on them. That is risible.
 
The depressing part being that the Scythe trilogy by Neal Shusterman is one of the better YA series I've read over the past few years. Quite good for what it was, and far better than I expected it to be. Recommended, if you're into that kind of thing. But that passage could have been excised at zero cost to anything.

His latest book, OTOH, is a mess of SJW pandering. There was a decent book in there somewhere screaming to get out but what was published? Yeeesh. Amusingly the group he is attempting to pander to screeched the loudest about it. See here and here. If GoodReads reviews and ratings can stand in rough proxy for sales, it is also shaping up to be a relative flop in comparison to his other recent books given the relatively low number out there a month after publication.
I used to read Neal Shusterman in HS. His Unwind series is probably the only YA series I'd still genuinely recommend (its comparisons to abortion are retarded though).

Scythe otoh was a massive disappointment when I read it, and the worldbuilding was complete ass (nanomachines lol). Guess I'm never finishing it now though.
 
Persuasion.com Link / Archive
Beware of Books!
A new moralism is gripping the literary world, treating grownups like children
Otis Houston
Mar 19
108

13


Literature used to be a place for transgressive ideas, a place to question taboos, and seek naked insights into humanity. It no longer is.

Critics, writers and publishers are today enforcing a new vision that treats books less as a vehicle for artistic expression than as a product to be inspected for safety and wholesomeness. In the past few years, this has only gained momentum, with much of what is written about literature, old and new, becoming a series of moral pronouncements.

The new literary moralism made early appearances in young-adult fiction, or YA. Back in 2017, the industry magazine Kirkus Reviews revoked a prestigious starred review of the YA novel American Heart after online denunciations. The chastened critic posted a revised review, now deeming it “problematic” that the author had written of a Muslim girl from the point of view of a white protagonist. Other young-adult authors have since withdrawn books from publication for the self-confessed sin of writing about marginalized characters without belonging to the same identity group.

Perhaps it’s understandable that those in YA publishing would feel a duty of care: Children are vulnerable and unformed, and kids’ books have always been a place for didactic storytelling and safe themes. The problem is that many in the book world—often with a sincere wish to address inequality—have expanded both the notion of what is “offensive” and whose reading must be morally patrolled: It’s the adults too.

Take the reaction last year to Jeanine Cummins’ bestselling novel American Dirt, about a Mexican woman and her son who escape a cartel and find themselves among the migrants and refugees trying to reach the United States. Major publications were fulsome with praise, many suggesting that the novel’s value lay in its potential to humanize immigrants. The writer Sandra Cisneros said in a blurb, “This book is not simply the great American novel; it’s the great novel of las Americas. It’s the great world novel!” Attention only increased when Oprah Winfrey announced that she would feature it in her book club.

But a scathing blog post emerged from the writer and activist Myriam Gurba: “Pendeja, You Ain’t Steinbeck: My Bronca with Fake-Ass Social Justice Literature.” Gurba reported that simply reading a publisher’s letter for American Dirt had made her so angry her “blood became carbonated.” She went on to argue that Cummins, a white American woman with some Puerto Rican background, had no business writing about a culture and identity group to which she didn’t belong.

The critical consensus soon flipped.

Already, the novelist Lauren Groff—writing in the New York Times Book Review in January 2020—seemed uneasy about her assignment. “I was sure I was the wrong person to review this book,” Groff wrote, noting that neither she nor the author were Mexican migrants. “In contemporary literary circles, there is a serious and legitimate sensitivity to people writing about heritages that are not their own because, at its worst, this practice perpetuates the evils of colonization, stealing the stories of oppressed people for the profit of the dominant.”

Some 142 writers signed an open letter imploring Winfrey to rescind her book-club selection, citing “harm this book can and will do,” arguing that it engaged in “trauma fetishization.” Apparently, the book was no longer an urgent remedy to American xenophobia. Rather, Cummins was a cultural appropriator, and her book a collection of harmful stereotypes.

The Pulitzer Prize-winning novelist Viet Thanh Nguyen, who is chair of English at the University of Southern California, has pressed fellow authors to repurpose their writing into progressive advocacy. The only respectable goal of contemporary literature, he suggested in a New York Times essay last December, is to bring change through “the kind of critical and political work that unsettles whiteness and reveals the legacies of colonialism.” Poetry and fiction that fail to advance politics (specifically, his politics) descend from a legacy of whiteness, conquest and genocide, he said, and they amount to little more than ditties about flowers and the moon.

This mindset isn’t confined to writers and critics. Increasingly, literary agents and editors are nervously evaluating the kinds of authors and stories they are comfortable with, and publishers seek to protect themselves by employing “sensitivity readers,” who scour unpublished fiction for offensive themes, characterizations or language. This moral, rather than artistic, gatekeeping means that some books never even get close enough to publication to be canceled.

The writer Bruce Wagner—a successful author of numerous novels and screenplays, such as Maps to the Stars—says that his editor at Counterpoint Press objected to his latest novel due to “problematic language” regarding a protagonist who weighs over 500 pounds and refers to herself as “fat.” Wagner chose instead to publish his book, The Marvel Universe: Origin Stories, for free online. (Counterpoint did not respond to my requests for comment.)

In March 2020, staff at the publishing house Hachette in New York, including employees of Little Brown and Grand Central Publishing, walked out over the planned publication of Woody Allen’s memoir, Apropos of Nothing, because the film director was the subject in the early 1990s of a molestation allegation, for which he was twice investigated without charge. Hachette caved to employees’ demands and canceled the release, which Allen later published elsewhere.

In November, the Canadian division of Penguin Random House held a townhall meeting to defend its decision to publish the psychologist and conservative self-help author Jordan Peterson. Even though several employees broke down in tears, the book went ahead.

Most recently, the publisher of Dr. Seuss books announced that it would no longer print six of the late author’s works because of racially stereotypical illustrations. The Washington Post book critic Ron Charles approved, adding, “We will have to get rid of other things, too.” Days later, eBay announced they would no longer allow the sale of the six books on their platform, and the Chicago Public Library said it would suspend lending of the books.

The above cases are each distinct. You may agree with how the book world responded in some instances, and disagree in others. But what these cases convey is how much the literary establishment is struggling with a dread of “harm,” related both to content and authors. It speaks to the spreading sense that it thinks of itself as carrying out a moral mission, whose standards are those of progressive activism.

There’s nothing new about the denunciation of ideas and authors in the name of morality. It’s a power that has always been used by those seeking to assert cultural dominance.

Two thousand years before the advent of mass print publishing, Socrates was sentenced to drink poison for having polluted the minds of the YA community of Athens. From the mid-16th century until 1966, the Catholic Church maintained its Index Librorum Prohibitorum, a list of prohibited books. Over the past century, the establishment used anti-obscenity laws to ban Ulysses and Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Norman Mailer couldn’t depict soldiers cursing in his World War II novel The Naked and the Dead because it would be “obscene.” The likes of Native Son and One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest were stricken from school curricula for their political subversiveness and perceived vulgarity. Meanwhile, all totalitarian states suppress transgressive writing, sometimes trying to do so across borders, as when Ayatollah Khomeini of Iran issued his fatwa against Salman Rushdie’s The Satanic Verses in 1989.

When I was growing up in the 1980s and ’90s, the social conservatives of the Moral Majority patrolled the virtue of the American reading public. They were especially exercised by the subject of witchcraft and sorcery, and found a nemesis in Harry Potter. Some organized public burnings of J.K. Rowling’s books. Such right-wing censoriousness hasn’t disappeared: Conservative attacks on literature are still common with respect to books for young people that present LGBTQ characters and themes in a positive light.

What is new, though, is the trend of policing books for social goodness from within the left-leaning literary community—the very people whom we entrust to steer the course of our artistic and intellectual culture.

Those currently burning Rowling’s books aren’t the religious right but members of the progressive left, angered by her comments about gender and trans issues. Numerous articles have asked if it still is permissible in good conscience to enjoy not only Harry Potter, but Rowling’s latest adult detective thriller, Troubled Blood. Reviewers have scoured the text for signs of her alleged transphobia, many noticing that one character, as a Los Angeles Times reviewer pointed out, is “a male serial killer known to have worn a dress.”

“Is that enough to say the author is transphobic?” the reviewer asked, citing various elements in the novel. “Perhaps.” A better question is this: Is it the role of a book reviewer to parse texts for insight into an author’s morality? It’s not far from looking for satanic messages in rock ‘n’ roll. And even if heavy-metal songs were rooting for the devil, should people have been prevented from hearing them?

This new literary moralism isn’t only scrutinizing contemporary writing for evidence of sin; it’s looking to the past as well. #DisruptTexts, a group dedicated to helping teachers “challenge the traditional canon,” talks of “problematic depictions” in Shakespeare, and complains of The Great Gatsby being defined by the white male gaze. If applied fully, that objection would wipe out innumerable works of literature—including many containing moral messages that progressives would endorse.

Does the canon of classics suffer from a lack of diversity? Absolutely. But canons expand with each generation. We don’t simply let old works drop off the back end. And a canon includes books not because they are virtuous, but because they are in complex conversation with one another, or are mighty in their own terms. Writers who broke the canonical color barrier—from W.E.B. Du Bois to Toni Morrison—didn’t do so by tearing up what came before, but by asserting that they too had a place in that long conversation.

Even literary traditionalists like Harold Bloom often had more expansive views than activists like those at #DisruptTexts might give them credit for. As the National Book Award-winner Andrew Solomon wrote after Bloom’s death, the critic “admired the work of Toni Morrison, Chinua Achebe and other writers of color; and to say that someone who lionized Hart Crane, Walt Whitman, Elizabeth Bishop and Tony Kushner was ignoring LGBT voices seems at best perilously naïve.”

One point that nearly all of these controversies, cancellations, and critical analyses share is that they are ostensibly seeking justice, particularly concerning race. Bigotry and related social ills are worth serious attention. But treating literature according to political goals—and doing so in fear of a righteous online mob—devalues art in meaningful ways. It makes writers fearful of exploring perspectives outside simplistic definitions of their own identity, or of inhabiting morally complex characters or themes. And it diminishes the prospects of the reader too, restricting the scope of books to narrow conceptions of power and privilege.

If we expect literature to fix social problems, we wrongly imagine it as a wrench that might twist the world into a more pleasing position. This is to misunderstand art, which challenges and expands our sense of the world, rather than simplifying it. Art forces us to see with complexity. In return, we must accept that no easy solution awaits. Profound writing is never just an answer.

None of this is to say that the inequities of our time can’t be addressed by other means—through economics and elections, through debate and compromise. But we must ask ourselves: Is this frenzy for censure, moralizing, and a seemingly endless expansion of the definition of harm, how we’ll correct current disparities and historical wrongs? Is this how we intend to talk about art from now on? Which is to say, we’d just talk politics, and hardly mention art at all.

Spotted at The Passive Voice, which used to be a go to site for me for the comment section. Sadly, the boomer running the site had Spam issues, and did a huge overreaction re: comments. Site still hasn't recovered, sadly, but I still do check it out from time to time.
 
Persuasion.com Link / Archive


Spotted at The Passive Voice, which used to be a go to site for me for the comment section. Sadly, the boomer running the site had Spam issues, and did a huge overreaction re: comments. Site still hasn't recovered, sadly, but I still do check it out from time to time.
But a scathing blog post emerged from the writer and activist Myriam Gurba: “Pendeja, You Ain’t Steinbeck: My Bronca with Fake-Ass Social Justice Literature.” Gurba reportedthat simply reading a publisher’s letter for American Dirt had made her so angry her “blood became carbonated.” She went on to argue that Cummins, a white American woman with some Puerto Rican background, had no business writing about a culture and identity group to which she didn’t belong.

The critical consensus soon flipped.

Already, the novelist Lauren Groff—writing in the New York Times Book Review in January 2020—seemed uneasy about her assignment. “I was sure I was the wrong person to review this book,” Groff wrote, noting that neither she nor the author were Mexican migrants. “In contemporary literary circles, there is a serious and legitimate sensitivity to people writing about heritages that are not their own because, at its worst, this practice perpetuates the evils of colonization, stealing the stories of oppressed people for the profit of the dominant.”

Imagine that there is someone who, due to their identity, speaks words that automatically hold more weight than those of other people, because they are ordained from on high. You cannot countermand those words, or dare to overstep your bounds by claiming the authority embodied in them for yourself. There is a term for this sentiment. Can you guess what it is?

It’s the Divine Right of Kings.

Modern progressivism is actually medievalism.

 
Imagine that there is someone who, due to their identity, speaks words that automatically hold more weight than those of other people, because they are ordained from on high. You cannot countermand those words, or dare to overstep your bounds by claiming the authority embodied in them for yourself. There is a term for this sentiment. Can you guess what it is?

It’s the Divine Right of Kings.

Modern progressivism is actually medievalism.

At it's surface it relies on our desire for experience. "I have more experience being [group] than you, therefore I am more qualified to speak on them than you are!" It's really easy to fall into the trap of believing that and I think that's why even people on the right are so eager to trot out their tokens to speak on various issues.

But at the end of the day, it's not really true because the cold hard facts can be learned by anyone with knowledge, anyone talented can write a compelling story, anyone with skill can portray a well-written character, etc. You don't need to be black to tell blacks "the police don't actually hate you and want you dead", you don't need to be a Muslim to write a good book about muh oppressed Muslim refugees, you don't need to be a troon to potray a troon onscreen, etc.

It's really fascinating how society has fallen into that trap. I think it's always been true to a degree but like a lot of things it's gotten worse in the past decade.
 
Hearing about the mediocrity of the YA novelists makes me either glad that my prose can't be so bad or worried that my prose would be as bad as theirs.

Any examples of terrible YA writing passages?
Rate me late, but I've got some terrible writing for you. This is from Evil Thing by Serena Valentino. It's the novelization for the upcoming Disney live action remake of 101 Dalmatians that focuses on Cruella De Vil and how much we should sympathize with someone who wanted to kill more than a hundred innocent little puppies.

Of course, one could see the occasional servant polishing the brass on the front porches, or a nanny strolling in the park with her squealing charge. And there were the old women who sold violets on corners, and the little boys who sold the papers and delivered messages, but they were almost invisible, like wraiths. I hardly thought of them as people.

I called them "non-people." To me, they almost seemed like ghosts.

While of course my own servants were very much alive, most of them were like silent specters, popping in and out of view only when we needed them. They weren't real. Or didn't seem so to me, anyway. Not like Mama and Papa. Not like me. Some of my servants seemed more real to me than others. The ones who were always in my view. The servants who weren't quite servants, but something in between a servant and a member of my family. We shall get to them in good time.

So, paragraph one, we learn that Cruella sees 'the help' as almost invisible wraiths. Paragraph two, we learn that she sees them as ghosts. Paragraph three is all about how they're silent specters, with some slight caveats - because nothing is more compelling in fiction than rules lawyering your metaphors.

And then, through the whole next section of the book, we learn that Cruella spent most of her time interacting with the servants, having definite opinions about the servants, and how certain of them were the rock that supported their house. None of the subsequent interactions support the idea that she sees them as ghosts. She certainly sees them as lesser and annoying, but that's not the same thing.

The book has one dimensional characters who fail to react with believable emotions to what's going on, is horrifically pretentious, and can't even maintain continuity within things written about on the same page.

"Very well, Lady De Vil, if that's what you'd prefer. Your husband, Lord De Vil, has left the entirety of his fortune in trust to his daughter, of which I am to be executor until her twenty-fifth birthday." The man looked like he might pop with nervousness. Or perhaps he was fearing my mother might explode with anger. I could see by the look on his face he was expecting some sort of tantrum. Some sort of theatrics. But my mother was, at least for the moment, containing her outrage. She just sat there looking at him silently. I don't know if she was in shock or disbelief. "Lady De Vil, did you hear me?" And then it happened. The explosion he had clearly been bracing himself for.

"Of course I heard you. And what am I to do? What am I expected to do? How am I supposed to live? Can you tell me that?" My mother had startled the man so violently it made his jowls quiver again, but he bravely continued.

"Lord De Vil has made provisions for you in his will. You will be given a lifetime yearly allowance."

Because there's nothing contradictory in saying the deceased has left their entire fortune to someone else, and that you've been given a lifetime yearly allowance in the will. I'm sure we could find someone in LawTwitter who could verify that. The book contradicts itself left and right. It's awful. There's no author's note thanking her editor, so I'm just going to believe she didn't have one.

I haven't finished it yet, but I have yet to find a single redeeming feature in this trash heap of a book.​
 
This is from Evil Thing by Serena Valentino. It's the novelization for the upcoming Disney live action remake of 101 Dalmatians that focuses on Cruella De Vil
This is horrifying all on its own. Not that I don't think the other live-action remakes didn't (far as I know, nobody cares), but this is its own special kind of dread.

EDIT: Also, this is what Serena Valentino looks like. She's a literal Disney villain.
Serena_Valentino.png

230full-serena-valentino.jpg
 
Imagine that there is someone who, due to their identity, speaks words that automatically hold more weight than those of other people, because they are ordained from on high. You cannot countermand those words, or dare to overstep your bounds by claiming the authority embodied in them for yourself. There is a term for this sentiment. Can you guess what it is?

It’s the Divine Right of Kings.

Modern progressivism is actually medievalism.

This is very ironic to me since a lot SJW really hate monarchy and feudal systems.
Rate me late, but I've got some terrible writing for you. This is from Evil Thing by Serena Valentino. It's the novelization for the upcoming Disney live action remake of 101 Dalmatians that focuses on Cruella De Vil and how much we should sympathize with someone who wanted to kill more than a hundred innocent little puppies.

Of course, one could see the occasional servant polishing the brass on the front porches, or a nanny strolling in the park with her squealing charge. And there were the old women who sold violets on corners, and the little boys who sold the papers and delivered messages, but they were almost invisible, like wraiths. I hardly thought of them as people.

I called them "non-people." To me, they almost seemed like ghosts.

While of course my own servants were very much alive, most of them were like silent specters, popping in and out of view only when we needed them. They weren't real. Or didn't seem so to me, anyway. Not like Mama and Papa. Not like me. Some of my servants seemed more real to me than others. The ones who were always in my view. The servants who weren't quite servants, but something in between a servant and a member of my family. We shall get to them in good time.

So, paragraph one, we learn that Cruella sees 'the help' as almost invisible wraiths. Paragraph two, we learn that she sees them as ghosts. Paragraph three is all about how they're silent specters, with some slight caveats - because nothing is more compelling in fiction than rules lawyering your metaphors.

And then, through the whole next section of the book, we learn that Cruella spent most of her time interacting with the servants, having definite opinions about the servants, and how certain of them were the rock that supported their house. None of the subsequent interactions support the idea that she sees them as ghosts. She certainly sees them as lesser and annoying, but that's not the same thing.

The book has one dimensional characters who fail to react with believable emotions to what's going on, is horrifically pretentious, and can't even maintain continuity within things written about on the same page.

"Very well, Lady De Vil, if that's what you'd prefer. Your husband, Lord De Vil, has left the entirety of his fortune in trust to his daughter, of which I am to be executor until her twenty-fifth birthday." The man looked like he might pop with nervousness. Or perhaps he was fearing my mother might explode with anger. I could see by the look on his face he was expecting some sort of tantrum. Some sort of theatrics. But my mother was, at least for the moment, containing her outrage. She just sat there looking at him silently. I don't know if she was in shock or disbelief. "Lady De Vil, did you hear me?" And then it happened. The explosion he had clearly been bracing himself for.

"Of course I heard you. And what am I to do? What am I expected to do? How am I supposed to live? Can you tell me that?" My mother had startled the man so violently it made his jowls quiver again, but he bravely continued.

"Lord De Vil has made provisions for you in his will. You will be given a lifetime yearly allowance."

Because there's nothing contradictory in saying the deceased has left their entire fortune to someone else, and that you've been given a lifetime yearly allowance in the will. I'm sure we could find someone in LawTwitter who could verify that. The book contradicts itself left and right. It's awful. There's no author's note thanking her editor, so I'm just going to believe she didn't have one.

I haven't finished it yet, but I have yet to find a single redeeming feature in this trash heap of a book.​
If someone decides to write a villainous MC then they need to embrace the fact that their MC is a villain. Otherwise the story loses it's punch. But those kind of people will never even write an interesting goody two shoes character.

I tried my hand at revising those passages:

The common people, those sniveling servants polishing the brass on the front porches, those chatty nannies strolling in the park with her squealing charges. Not to speak of those old hags who sold violets on corners, and those irksome boys who sold the papers and delivered messages. All of them were hardly of any interest to me.

After all, nobody thinks about the cocks and screws keeping everything working. Only when they fail at their task people notice, which is when they need to be replaced.

My own servants were more like furniture, always there to be used and rarely in the way. From early on I knew they weren’t like Mama and Papa. Not like me. Yet, some of my servants seemed more human to me than others. The ones who were always in my view. The servants who weren't quite servants, but something in between a servant and a member of my family. We shall get to them in good time.

"Very well, Lady De Vil, if that's what you'd prefer. Your husband, Lord De Vil, has left you a lifetime of yearly allowance. As for the rest of his fortune… Lord De Vill has trust the remainder of his funds and assets to his daughter and named me the executor of it until her twenty-fifth birthday." The man looked like he might pop with nervousness. I could see by the look on his face he was expecting some sort of tantrum. Some sort of theatrics. But my mother was, at least for the moment, containing her outrage. She just sat there looking at him silently. Yet, the slight clenching of her fist spoke of her current disposition. "Lady De Vil?" And then it happened. The explosion he had clearly been bracing himself for.

"Of course I heard you. A lifetime yearly allowance? I‘ve given him so much! I‘ve given him everything he ever wanted! What for? To be tossed aside like a beggar? To be fobbed off with the minimum of what he legally owns me? There will be consequences!“ With those words my mother glared at me.
 
Rate me late, but I've got some terrible writing for you. This is from Evil Thing by Serena Valentino. It's the novelization for the upcoming Disney live action remake of 101 Dalmatians that focuses on Cruella De Vil and how much we should sympathize with someone who wanted to kill more than a hundred innocent little puppies.

Of course, one could see the occasional servant polishing the brass on the front porches, or a nanny strolling in the park with her squealing charge. And there were the old women who sold violets on corners, and the little boys who sold the papers and delivered messages, but they were almost invisible, like wraiths. I hardly thought of them as people.

I called them "non-people." To me, they almost seemed like ghosts.

While of course my own servants were very much alive, most of them were like silent specters, popping in and out of view only when we needed them. They weren't real. Or didn't seem so to me, anyway. Not like Mama and Papa. Not like me. Some of my servants seemed more real to me than others. The ones who were always in my view. The servants who weren't quite servants, but something in between a servant and a member of my family. We shall get to them in good time.

So, paragraph one, we learn that Cruella sees 'the help' as almost invisible wraiths. Paragraph two, we learn that she sees them as ghosts. Paragraph three is all about how they're silent specters, with some slight caveats - because nothing is more compelling in fiction than rules lawyering your metaphors.

And then, through the whole next section of the book, we learn that Cruella spent most of her time interacting with the servants, having definite opinions about the servants, and how certain of them were the rock that supported their house. None of the subsequent interactions support the idea that she sees them as ghosts. She certainly sees them as lesser and annoying, but that's not the same thing.

The book has one dimensional characters who fail to react with believable emotions to what's going on, is horrifically pretentious, and can't even maintain continuity within things written about on the same page.

"Very well, Lady De Vil, if that's what you'd prefer. Your husband, Lord De Vil, has left the entirety of his fortune in trust to his daughter, of which I am to be executor until her twenty-fifth birthday." The man looked like he might pop with nervousness. Or perhaps he was fearing my mother might explode with anger. I could see by the look on his face he was expecting some sort of tantrum. Some sort of theatrics. But my mother was, at least for the moment, containing her outrage. She just sat there looking at him silently. I don't know if she was in shock or disbelief. "Lady De Vil, did you hear me?" And then it happened. The explosion he had clearly been bracing himself for.

"Of course I heard you. And what am I to do? What am I expected to do? How am I supposed to live? Can you tell me that?" My mother had startled the man so violently it made his jowls quiver again, but he bravely continued.

"Lord De Vil has made provisions for you in his will. You will be given a lifetime yearly allowance."

Because there's nothing contradictory in saying the deceased has left their entire fortune to someone else, and that you've been given a lifetime yearly allowance in the will. I'm sure we could find someone in LawTwitter who could verify that. The book contradicts itself left and right. It's awful. There's no author's note thanking her editor, so I'm just going to believe she didn't have one.

I haven't finished it yet, but I have yet to find a single redeeming feature in this trash heap of a book.​
To be honest, the first person point of view is legit bothersome, because often times the sympathy fails when your narration is coming from the most unreliable and uncompelling of narrators. A third person point of view at least helps give a more ambiguous observation, which I think might fit for De Vil. Sure she's diabolical and maniacal, but you'd at least see where she's coming from at a more appropriate angle.

Why is there a lot of first person novels anyways?
 
Why is there a lot of first person novels anyways?
It's easier for the author to make a mouthpiece to push their own personal agendas and grievances with the world, and what better way than to make the narrator/character a literal self-insert. Why bother creating a new character from scratch when you can just put yourself into their shoes? It's all about "What would I do/think in this scenario?" instead of "How is this character their own individual in this story?"

It's why most of these books read like personal journals than actual fiction.

Also Twilight's influence is still going strong despite people harping on it. But now long-established characters are becoming blank slates for the author (and reader, maybe) to slip themselves into. The lack of editors means they can slip through the cracks, too.
 
At it's surface it relies on our desire for experience. "I have more experience being [group] than you, therefore I am more qualified to speak on them than you are!" It's really easy to fall into the trap of believing that and I think that's why even people on the right are so eager to trot out their tokens to speak on various issues.

But at the end of the day, it's not really true because the cold hard facts can be learned by anyone with knowledge, anyone talented can write a compelling story, anyone with skill can portray a well-written character, etc. You don't need to be black to tell blacks "the police don't actually hate you and want you dead", you don't need to be a Muslim to write a good book about muh oppressed Muslim refugees, you don't need to be a troon to potray a troon onscreen, etc.

It's really fascinating how society has fallen into that trap. I think it's always been true to a degree but like a lot of things it's gotten worse in the past decade.
People need to start calling it what it is; an absolutely hysterical literary witch hunt. If you're white, and you want to write a non-white YA character, you're fucked. Canceled, deplatformed, un-starred, whatever. Of course, non-whites are allowed to write white people without being reprimanded at all. What a strange, one-sided segregationism.

This is the kind of shit these crazy cunts actually believe:


The course was founded by the speculative-fiction writers Nisi Shawl, who is black, and Cynthia Ward, who is white, nearly twenty years ago. They’d met a decade or so earlier, at a fantasy and science-fiction workshop, and were inspired to design their own writing class after a conversation with another classmate, a white friend who’d declared that she’d never write a character who didn’t share her background or identity because she’d be sure to get it wrong. “My immediate thought was, ‘well that’s taking the easy way out!’” recalled Shawl. While imagining the lives of people who are different from you is virtually a prerequisite of most successful fiction writing, the consequences of doing it poorly have grown more serious since the pre-Twitter, pre-woke ’90s, as the conversation about who gets to tell whose stories has moved from the fringes of publishing into the mainstream. J.K. Rowling, Lionel Shriver, and Kathryn Stockett have all caught heat for botching the job. In the young-adult fiction world, a number of books have been pulled in advance of their releases for clichéd and problematic portrayals of minorities. The conversation is often depicted in the media as a binary: On one side are those who argue that only writers from marginalized backgrounds should tell stories about people who share their cultural histories — a course correction for an industry that is overwhelmingly white — while on the other are those who say this wish amounts to censorship.


I can’t tell you the joy that came to me when I first read N. K. Jemisin’s The Fifth Season. My little nerd heart had an epiphany. Here was an eloquent, sweeping fantasy novel, and at the forefront were characters like me! Girls with my hair! Boys with my skin! People without binary genders at all! It was life-changing.


As a push for diversity in fiction reshapes the publishing landscape, the emergence of sensitivity readers seems almost inevitable. A flowering sense of social conscience, not to mention a strong market incentive, is elevating stories that richly reflect the variety of human experience. America—specifically young America—is currently more diverse than ever. As writers attempt to reflect these realities in their fiction, they often must step outside of their intimate knowledge. And in a cultural climate newly attuned to the complexities of representation, many authors face anxiety at the prospect of backlash, especially when social media leaves both book sales and literary reputations more vulnerable than ever to criticism. Enter the sensitivity reader: one more line of defense against writers’ tone-deaf, unthinking mistakes.

In one draft, Albertalli—who totaled 12 sensitivity reads for her second novel on LGBTQ, black, Korean American, anxiety, obesity, and Jewish representation issues, among others—had described a character’s older sibling, a black college student, as a “bro,” the kind of frat boy she’d gone to school with in Connecticut. “In my head, he was part of that culture,” she says. But the two women of color reading the manuscript whipped out their red pens. “Without consulting each other, they were both independently like, ‘Nope. That’s not a thing,’ ” Albertalli recalls. Historically black colleges have a wildly different conception of Greek life, with fraternity members resembling superstar athletes more than dudes doing keg stands. “So, yeah,” Albertalli (who characterizes herself as “white, chubby, Jewish, anxious”) finished sheepishly, “I definitely had to rethink that character.”

Even if you try to escape this by writing solely about non-human characters, these lunatics will go "Oh, that fantasy race is coded as a real race". So, y'know. Ferengi are Jews, and Orcs are black people, and so on.

I swear to god, these people could see racism in an oatmeal raisin cookie the same way a Quaker sees Jesus' face in their morning toast. Unlike a triple chocolate macadamia cookie, the light part is larger. That must mean the baker was prioritizing whiteness.
 
People need to start calling it what it is; an absolutely hysterical literary witch hunt. If you're white, and you want to write a non-white YA character, you're fucked. Canceled, deplatformed, un-starred, whatever. Of course, non-whites are allowed to write white people without being reprimanded at all. What a strange, one-sided segregationism.
Not entirely, like that one gay black YA writer who tried to write about Kosovo Albanian Muslims (white enough, right?) but was called an Islamophobe and cultural appropriator anyway. These people eat their own all the time.
 
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I mean, you can make the villain the protagonist, you can have a villain that's sympathetic... If you still acknowledge that they're the villain. It looks like that step was skipped here.
People need to start calling it what it is; an absolutely hysterical literary witch hunt. If you're white, and you want to write a non-white YA character, you're fucked. Canceled, deplatformed, un-starred, whatever. Of course, non-whites are allowed to write white people without being reprimanded at all. What a strange, one-sided segregationism.
They scream bloody murder if a white author has even one non-white character, and they scream bloody-murder if a white author has an all-white cast in their book. I wish they'd just be honest and admit they don't think white people should be allowed to write books, and that only some POC should be allowed to write books provided they are following the set guidelines that change constantly and without notice.
 
They scream bloody murder if a white author has even one non-white character, and they scream bloody-murder if a white author has an all-white cast in their book. I wish they'd just be honest and admit they don't think white people should be allowed to write books, and that only some POC should be allowed to write books provided they are following the set guidelines that change constantly and without notice.
I wonder if racist whites felt the same way with white authors who wrote about non-whites in the segregation era? That's some crazy pendulum swings right there!
 
It's easier for the author to make a mouthpiece to push their own personal agendas and grievances with the world, and what better way than to make the narrator/character a literal self-insert. Why bother creating a new character from scratch when you can just put yourself into their shoes? It's all about "What would I do/think in this scenario?" instead of "How is this character their own individual in this story?"

It's why most of these books read like personal journals than actual fiction.

Also Twilight's influence is still going strong despite people harping on it. But now long-established characters are becoming blank slates for the author (and reader, maybe) to slip themselves into. The lack of editors means they can slip through the cracks, too.
It's especially bad when it's developing a known character, like the Disney or Star Wars movie tie-ins. The woman who writes the Padme books just straight up doesn't get why Padme likes Anakin and she refuses to write him. Strong women don't like bad boys, so he's gotta go.
Not entirely, like that one gay black YA writer who tried to write about Kosovo Albanian Muslims (white enough, right?) but was called an Islamophobe and cultural appropriator anyway. These people eat their own all the time.
Don't forget the Asian woman who wrote about slavery in the context of sex slavery in China and got her book pushed back because everyone thought it was about American slavery and she was stealing their trauma.
 
Ebook, available to borrow from my local library's Overdrive site.

Nine of Swords, Reversed, Xan West
Dev has been with xyr service submissive Noam for seven years and xe loves them very much. Dev and Noam have built a good life together in Noam's family home in Oakland, where they both can practice their magecraft, celebrate the high holidays in comfort, support each other as their disabilities flare, and where Noam can spend Shabbos with their beloved family ghost.But Dev's got a problem: xe has been in so much arthritis pain recently that xe has not been able to shield properly. As an empath, no shielding means Dev cannot safely touch Noam. That has put a strain on their relationship, and it feels like Noam is pulling away from xym. To top it off, Dev has just had an upsetting dream-vision about xyrself and Noam that caused one of the biggest meltdowns xe has had in a while. It's only with a timely tarot reading and the help of another genderfluid mage that Dev is able to unpack the situation. Can xe figure out how to address the issues in xyr relationship with Noam before everything falls apart?


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Ebook, available to borrow from my local library's Overdrive site.

Nine of Swords, Reversed, Xan West



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This has got to be a parody.

Please tell me it's a parody.

EDIT: Xan West's Amazon profile. God help us.
Xan West is the nom de plume of Corey Alexander, an autistic queer fat Jewish genderqueer writer with multiple disabilities who spends a lot of time on Twitter. Xan's erotica has been published widely, including in the Best S/M Erotica series, the Best Gay Erotica series, and the Best Lesbian Erotica series. Xan's story "Trying Submission," won the 2018 National Leather Association John Preston Short Fiction Award.

After over 15 years of writing queer kink erotica short stories, Xan has begun to also write queer kink romance. Their recent work still centers kinky, trans and non-binary, fat, disabled, queer trauma survivors. It leans more towards centering Jewish characters, ace and aro spec characters, autistic characters, and polyamorous networks. Xan has two romances currently available: Nine of Swords, Reversed and Their Troublesome Crush. Their latest book, Eight Kinky Nights, an angsty kinky polyamorous foodie Chanukah f/f romance, releases December 16, 2019.
 
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