You stand accused of unfunny shitpost. How do you plead?

Solution
I know that I'm going down for a long time. Even if the forensic data were to be destroyed in a mysterious evidence storage room fire, the multiple eye-witness statements and CCTV footage are enough to convict me.

You know, the funny thing is that, on some level, I wanted to get caught. I wanted somebody to stop me. I would actually write funny shitposts and then imagine what they would be like if the alleged comedienne, Leslie Jones, had written them. Then I would rewrite the shitposts in capitalised Ebonics and suddenly they would be on the level of some school kid, who mistakes volume for humour, attempting to disrupt a class through their incessant buffoonery.

I will come quietly.
Overruled! The assembly has chosen to impeach you on account of bias and/or prejudice towards rural feed farmers and for judging-under-the-influence. Per the assembly, this trial will now be oversneed by the honorable Judge Albert Sneed! @Autumnal Equinox please continue your sneedstimony.
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Overruled, I'm the new judge and it was officially sactioned by @Null himself when he personally approved me to this position. my kangaroo court has only just begun.

@wry wrangler Bailiff take him away. feed him to the dogs. the real stinky ones.
 
I sentence you to mad at the internet. Don't you be bringing that far-right flat-earth dog whistle in here. This is strictly a kangaroo court.
Do kangaroos hear dog whistles?

I plead guilty your honor and there clearly isn’t a defense to unfunny posts. I knew I’d get caught one day I just wish it wasn’t this soon.
 
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