Young men reveal why so many of them are single: ‘Dates feel more like job interviews’

From: https://nypost.com/2023/03/01/rate-of-single-men-in-the-us-looking-for-dates-has-declined/

They’re single but they’re not mingling.

New data from the Pew Research Center has shown that 63% of men under 30 are single – up from 51% in 2019.

COVID isolation and women’s high expectations for something serious are the main reasons they’re avoiding going out and coupling up, young guys say.

“Dates feel more like job interviews now. Much more like ‘What can you do for me and where is this going?'” said Ian Breslow, a 28-year-old high school teacher who lives in Astoria.

“The ‘getting to know you’ period is gone and that doesn’t feel so great after coming out of isolation.”

He recalled a recent first date that went quite well until the woman interrogated him on their walk home.

“She literally asked me, ‘Would you rather our kids go to public or private school?’ Followed by several more extreme questions about getting married. I just started responding with what I knew she would hate the most to get her to leave,” Breslow told The Post.

Experts agree that women are certainly wanting more than ever before.

“The overall picture [is] that if a woman is going to go on a date with a man, chances are it’s not for a casual fling,” Ronald Levant, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Akron, told The Post.

“Especially if the woman is kind of getting close to 30, [she’s] thinking about the biological clock and wants to have a family,” he added.

Breslow isn’t looking to settle down and get married anytime soon, so he’d rather have casual flings.

“The way dating is currently just makes me want to hook up locally with no stress or strings attached,” he says. “Fortunately that part comes very easy … I’m unmotivated to search for something serious for the time being.”

Ian Breslow said the face of dating has changed greatly since COVID.
Andrew Bruno, a 28-year-old nurse from Bellmore, NY, says flirting in the post-COVID era just isn’t as fun as it once was.

“Being able to naturally approach people while out isn’t like it was pre-pandemic. People are still much less likely to leave their groups or cliques at a bar,” said Bruno. “They’re certainly less talkative and that’s lowered my incentive to put myself out there.”

He also said the pandemic, more than ever before, made dating apps the central means for meeting people — and he’s not a fan.

“That just really isn’t my style. Like there is a weekslong prerequisite before you can think about getting involved, even for casual things,” Bruno said. “I’d rather take all that effort and put it towards my career.”

And, like Breslow, he’s in no hurry to get hitched.

Andrew Bruno feels that people have become less approachable while out since COVID.
“I’m also still very young,” Bruno said. “I don’t feel the need to rush, especially if people don’t act as naturally as they did before COVID. Why would I put it all out there for someone who can’t or won’t hold a conversation?”

For Mike M., a 25-year-old in Queens, it’s his — not the opposite sex’s — social skills that are still battling a bad case of long COVID.

“I definitely can’t walk into a room and go talk to someone I’m interested [in] like I used to be able to. It feels like my outgoingness has suffered some atrophy,” Mike, who withheld his last name out of embarrassment, told The Post.

He’s also having less sex than he did pre-pandemic.

“I have definitely been going online to take care of my urges more than I have by seeing people,” Mike admitted.

What do you think? Be the first to comment.
He feels as though he lost two prime years in his early 20s of being able to date and have fun without worrying about being in a serious relationship.

Now, he’s under pressure to find a long-term commitment, but can’t put himself out there.

“I also feel like I’m caught between two worlds,” he said. “Ultimately I’ve just been crashing and have had neither lately.”

 

[Omen_Sulk]

It's all because in the female heirarchy the lies outweight the truth of reality. It's why the more "excluded women" are far more sociable, happy and great to be around. *Women that don't like to hang around other women for whatever reason not merely just tomboys.

I know many women have unrealistic demands of men, but there are still a lot who are pleasantly surprised just by dudes who aren't looking for a surrogate mommy, maid, and caretaker.

From my experience interacting with Women is that the ones with their shit remotely together are already snatched up. Although it's funny when some complain to me about their guy being a lazy sack of shit but you've already had 4 kids to him.

 

[Matt Damon]

From my experience interacting with Women is that the ones with their shit remotely together are already snatched up. Although it's funny when some complain to me about their guy being a lazy sack of shit but you've already had 4 kids to him.

I suppose, but I'm sure women have the same experience. For every woman like that, there's naturally a lazy sack of shit out paying (or dodging) child support for four kids out there.

Like attracts like and low IQ, low impulse control people tend to find exactly the losers and end up in exactly the no-win situations you'd expect. It's like a car wreck you can see coming 20 years in advance.

 

[Mewtwo_Rain]

From my experience interacting with Women is that the ones with their shit remotely together are already snatched up. Although it's funny when some complain to me about their guy being a lazy sack of shit but you've already had 4 kids to him.

There are some normal tolerable women here and there that are single and afraid of relationships due to running into modern dating, some get hurt and retract from dating sphere or shakily enter it, though even the good ones are still batty at times and will acknowledge as such.

Women complain about guys they like. It's kind of a concept of complain to get you to change even if you're not chad. Like when you hear girls say their boyfriend/husband/etc. is an asshole, women will act happy with him but to their friends will complain because they crave the positive/negative energy dynamic. They get pleasure out of a mixture of the two. Sometimes they'll also throw it out in discussion with other men to see who's trying to jones for them. A semi "shit test" if you will.

The one's easy to get along with are all over the place, sometimes randomly on social medias, or sites, some are just randomly in places you never expect. The problem is the more insane ones often pretend to be the "ones with their shit together" why so many men give up because of how much time it takes to distinguish the two regularly. The problem is also some that are sane will do the "I'm in a relationship card" because they hope a guy will flirt with them, willing to take risk despite how unseemly that is, because although she may have her shit together doesn't mean the guy she is with does. It's why I also proclaim women's relationship as very parasitical even in the best of women because even shitty women are in relationships before jumping to next one as are the "sane/better" ones.

 

[doodoocaca]

It's amazing isn't it? If people are too free to be selfish everyone just sits on their hands and refuses to bother.

On the other hand, if we focus on our obligations to one another, we actually get along and are happier.

I am not suggesting we go full commie bughive here, let alone into full shame bullshit like Japan, but I think it's now quite clear that a healthy society and social relationships and healthy people are predicated on obligation and supporting people so they can better fulfill them. Shaming and tearing down with no build up at all just loops you back to solitude even if you're more focused on obligation to others than personal wants.

Isn't it also hilarious that this mere suggestion of obligation would have you called a Fascist by the people who want to get high, eat junk food, watch porn, play video games and die childless?

 

[Ahriman]

Isn't it also hilarious that this mere suggestion of obligation would have you called a Fascist by the people who want to get high, eat junk food, watch porn, play video games and die childless?

Because attacking the family and what ties them together is their goal. They'll keep driving societal wedges between women and men.

Having said that, the Austrian painter sure encouraged German families to be prosper and have children:



Although besides the point, it gave both men and women a true sense of purpose and through it, the fulfillment to which we are all genetically predisposed. He understood that if you want to improve your nation, you start rebuilding family ties.

Indeed, those values are sorely lacking in this individualistic, post-modernist hellhole. It's why sooner or later, both men and women realize that being alone is really not the answer, and now we are all suffering for it.

 

[MadStan]

You really don't get it do you?

I don't know how I could've explained it better, so maybe it's an intellectual disability issue on your end. Either way, like I said, I'm with you. Men need to stop complaining about romance issues and just pursue their own interests, and enjoy our current level of amenities while they can. Let the problem worsen until it forces society to realign its interests and fix these problems naturally.

In twenty years when you can't find a doctor, your area has rolling blackouts, faulty plumbing, and you can't get baby wipes or batteries for a lantern so you can wipe your ass in the dark because of supply shortages due to labor issues just remember: I told you so.

Edit: Required reading for anyone interested in the "just how fucked are we, anyway?" question: http://people.uncw.edu/kozloffm/glubb.pdf

I'll have no trouble getting a doctor for many reasons:

A. I have money.
B. I have doctors as clients.
C. We have shit loads of doctors and we import shit loads and they make bank in the USA so we will do just fine.

This ridiculous false scare of not enough people is just utterly ridiculous. You have oodles of Americans on hand, the only problem is they are children of retards and are retarded themselves, fortunately we have access to the global supply of intellect due to our good economics. It is little wonder foreign doctors and tech are brought in by the tens of thousands to the USA EVERY year. We don't have to rely upon the gutter genetics of white trash America to power our industries.

 

[LurkTrawl]

I'll have no trouble getting a doctor for many reasons:

A. I have money.
B. I have doctors as clients.
C. We have shit loads of doctors and we import shit loads and they make bank in the USA so we will do just fine.

I'm talking in the future. You know that place that you apparently can't conceptually understand.

Citation needed for these alleged "shitload" of doctors. And the fact that you seemingly are unaware of the contradiction here (we get shitloads of new doctors already - we currently have a shortage and it's getting worse) really just speaks to how fucking stupid you are.

I was trying to avoid saying it outright but you seem incapable of actually understanding the basic issue. Even if the problem were as simple as "we just need warm bodies" (it's fucking not you mongoloid. I've explained the problem in sufficient detail how it isn't and yet you keep repeating this nonsensical point as if it makes sense on its own, let alone in the full context of the issue.) there's a quality issue. You seem to quite literally believe that any one adult human on the planet can just be replaced by another.

Did you know the most populous nation on earth, China, is currently also experiencing this same looming issue? I'd say think on that for five minutes but clearly such an exercise, for you, would be a futile effort.

This ridiculous false scare of not enough people is just utterly ridiculous. You have oodles of Americans on hand, the only problem is they are children of retards and are retarded themselves, fortunately we have access to the global supply of intellect due to our good economics. It is little wonder foreign doctors and tech are brought in by the tens of thousands to the USA EVERY year.

Then why do we currently have a shortage that's expected to only get worse near-exponentially over the decade dipshit?

We don't have to rely upon the gutter genetics of white trash America to power our industries.

Yes, it's much better to rely upon the gutter genetics of street shitters and wire fraudsters. Holy shit.

 

[MadStan]

LurkTrawl.

Since when did the concerns of ensuring there are rich Doctors and Nurses somehow become your priority? And why the fuck do you even give a flying rats ass about it?

It will come as a shock to you that while it is sad there are simply too few Americans smart enough to train that there in fact other countries where the education standards all but ensure we have a healthy influx of these professionals to our shores.

What part of that neurotic brain of yours somehow thinks Dr. Gupti of India is going to have a hard time wondering if he should practice in China or the USA? Do you really think it is a contest?

Relax. Your overblown concerns about there not being enough Doctors isn't related to the birthrate in this country you fucking loser, it is due to the fact the education system here is turning out imbeciles and they struggle to find persons even smart enough to become doctors. Jesus, in some countries you need to be educated to be a teacher and here all you need is a fucking pulse.

The bodies are here. The wit and intelligence isn't. Fortunately it is elsewhere and we get to pick; because we pay better and China and Japan and all these other countries don't. But you go to sleep at night worrying about it if you must.

 

[Omen_Sulk]

I'm talking in the future.

What makes you think the people in power care if a large portion of the worlds population are living in poverty or dead in the future?

 

[Long Tongue Silver]

Kiwifarms is great for LOLCOWS but sometimes you luck in and get a retarded thread like this where socially inept men join together like a bunch of flaming coddled babies raised by pussies that whine they can't find women that suit their expectations. Even furies get laid more than these guys.

If threads like these weren't here, then chances are you wouldn't be here.

 

[LurkTrawl]

What makes you think the people in power care if a large portion of the worlds population are living in poverty or dead in the future?

You could only be asking me this question in any seriousness if you, much like I assume @Quiche Lorraine did, either didn't understand or just didn't read the majority of my previous posts on the topic in this thread.

If you need to read them a few times over, go ahead. Responding to shit that's as nonsensical as "we have plenty of people!" or "why do you think people in power care?" will only end up in me reiterating my points in a more detailed manner and/or having to go trawl through the internet to spoon-feed statistical data that you also either won't comprehend or won't read.

I've done enough of this explaining-the-problem-to-people-on-the-internet shit to know better. And the people who were capable of getting what I meant the first time certainly don't want to have to read the same shit expanded upon for people with apparently gradeschooler-tier reading comprehension skills.

Since when did the concerns of ensuring there are rich Doctors and Nurses somehow become your priority?

The fact you're zeroing in on doctors/nurses specifically, and the amount of people in aggregate as well rather than addressing the entire context of the problem as I said earlier shows that you're either quite literally retarded and not just stupid, or you really somehow think other people reading this can't pick up on the fact that I've outlined why both are but a narrow slice of the problem as a whole while you're focusing on a strawman built out of the most egregiously simplistic interpretation of one ascpect of the problem that you thought you could muster some form of cogent argument against.

If it's the former I'd feel pity for your condition if you weren't so self-assured in your shitty argumentation and reasoning. If it's the latter, well, it's an insult to your intellect, mine, and of the people reading this shit. And frankly I strongly suspect it's a healthy portion of both.

As above I'm not going to outline in excruciating detail beyond what I already have what the various facets of this problem are for someone who should, given that they're posting on this section of this specific website currently, be capable of understanding. Now if you want to form a rebuttal or even just have an in-depth discussion that actually tackles the entirety of the issue I'm more than willing to engage with that, but what you're doing here isn't too dissimilar from responding to a person bringing up and explaining, say, the U.S. debt issue and responding with "wElL wHo'S gOiNg tO cOlLeCt!? LOL USA USA STRONGEST MILITARY!".

 

[Omen_Sulk]

You could only be asking me this question in any seriousness if you, much like I assume @Quiche Lorraine did, either didn't understand or just didn't read the majority of my previous posts on the topic in this thread.

If you need to read them a few times over, go ahead. Responding to shit that's as nonsensical as "we have plenty of people!" or "why do you think people in power care?" will only end up in me reiterating my points in a more detailed manner and/or having to go trawl through the internet to spoon-feed statistical data that you also either won't comprehend or won't read.

I've done enough of this explaining-the-problem-to-people-on-the-internet shit to know better. And the people who were capable of getting what I meant the first time certainly don't want to have to read the same shit expanded upon for people with apparently gradeschooler-tier reading comprehension skills.

The fact you're zeroing in on doctors/nurses specifically, and the amount of people in aggregate as well rather than addressing the entire context of the problem as I said earlier shows that you're either quite literally retarded and not just stupid, or you really somehow think other people reading this can't pick up on the fact that I've outlined why both are but a narrow slice of the problem as a whole while you're focusing on a strawman built out of the most egregiously simplistic interpretation of one ascpect of the problem that you thought you could muster some form of cogent argument against.

If it's the former I'd feel pity for your condition if you weren't so self-assured in your shitty argumentation and reasoning. If it's the latter, well, it's an insult to your intellect, mine, and of the people reading this shit. And frankly I strongly suspect it's a healthy portion of both.

As above I'm not going to outline in excruciating detail beyond what I already have what the various facets of this problem are for someone who should, given that they're posting on this section of this specific website currently, be capable of understanding. Now if you want to form a rebuttal or even just have an in-depth discussion that actually tackles the entirety of the issue I'm more than willing to engage with that, but what you're doing here isn't too dissimilar from responding to a person bringing up and explaining, say, the U.S. debt issue and responding with "wElL wHo'S gOiNg tO cOlLeCt!? LOL USA USA STRONGEST MILITARY!".

You could've just said go back and read my previous posts instead of going on a 6 paragraph diatribe. Hell you could've spent that time linking to your old posts.

 

[Mr Bunny]

hmm that's some good mud wresting, now which one you daddy's little wrestlers is gonna take off the bikini?

 

[Cheesegirl78]

A hint for the future: If you see a significant gap in someone's posting history starting May 5, 2023 that doesn't end until sneed.today came online and widely known (so about July), it's because the user was too stupid to figure out Tor and are not worth your time to "debate" with.

For the love of God, old men like Jet Fuel Johnny and JosephStalin figured out Tor.

EDIT: Corrected the username of one of our esteemed elder Kiwis.

If an old dipshit like me can figure out TOR, ANYONE can.

 

[Night Crawler]

They are broke. They have no money. Most of them probably still live at home or with roommates. They probably don't even own cars. Some of them can't even drive most likely. More women have their drivers license than men do now. getting a license has been made extremely expensive and difficult in the US. To think at one point you didn't even need to have a license to drive. When they eventually made that a requirement all that was required was passing a test on paper.

It has very little to do with the actual dates. If you have the ability to go on dates and can afford it then you are basically in the minority. Most guys under the age of 40 can't. We have Millennial money. Not Boomer money. I guess the same thing goes for Zoomers. They have Zoomer money not Boomer money. The decline in the birthrate amongst white Americans pretty much says it all. Men and women have very little contact with each other. If they did the birthrate would be higher. It still wouldn't be enough to do anything about the shit skin hordes flowing in and the amount of shit skins that are being born.

 

[mindlessobserver]

I can understand both sides of this. On one hand it's supposed to be fun, on the other you're looking for a long-term partner in a relationship.

My grandmother actually talked about how her generation did these things. Back in the 20's and 30's. Basically there was no such thing as individual dating. There were parties and social events where all the single women and men would meet for drinks, board games, cards, etc, lots of group social activity. They would all interact as a group and if by some chance a couple really started to hit it off they would not not start exclusively seeing each other in more intimate social settings (like dinner for two) unless there was an engagement.

 

[Night Crawler]

LurkTrawl.

Since when did the concerns of ensuring there are rich Doctors and Nurses somehow become your priority? And why the fuck do you even give a flying rats ass about it?

It will come as a shock to you that while it is sad there are simply too few Americans smart enough to train that there in fact other countries where the education standards all but ensure we have a healthy influx of these professionals to our shores.

What part of that neurotic brain of yours somehow thinks Dr. Gupti of India is going to have a hard time wondering if he should practice in China or the USA? Do you really think it is a contest?

Relax. Your overblown concerns about there not being enough Doctors isn't related to the birthrate in this country you fucking loser, it is due to the fact the education system here is turning out imbeciles and they struggle to find persons even smart enough to become doctors. Jesus, in some countries you need to be educated to be a teacher and here all you need is a fucking pulse.

The bodies are here. The wit and intelligence isn't. Fortunately it is elsewhere and we get to pick; because we pay better and China and Japan and all these other countries don't. But you go to sleep at night worrying about it if you must.

This is some of the dumbest shit I have ever seen. LOL

No, just no. The shit skins coming in from other countries are retards compared to the people we have here. especially white people.

 

[Caesare]

AI and automation is going to make at least 4 billion redundant humans.

AI might be useful in certain circumstances, but automation? lol. Human labor will always be cheaper than automation until maybe 1000 years from now, and that's only if we figure out how to do it on the cheap. Robots are shit. They're too expensive, they can't reason like a human being, and they break down a lot. If our current automation technology hasn't already made 4 billion human beings redundant, it surely isn't going to in our lifetimes, our children's lifetimes, and our grandchildren's. You're talking shit that's so far off it's not even worth considering.

 

[Male Idiot]

LurkTrawl.

Since when did the concerns of ensuring there are rich Doctors and Nurses somehow become your priority? And why the fuck do you even give a flying rats ass about it?

It will come as a shock to you that while it is sad there are simply too few Americans smart enough to train that there in fact other countries where the education standards all but ensure we have a healthy influx of these professionals to our shores.

What part of that neurotic brain of yours somehow thinks Dr. Gupti of India is going to have a hard time wondering if he should practice in China or the USA? Do you really think it is a contest?

Relax. Your overblown concerns about there not being enough Doctors isn't related to the birthrate in this country you fucking loser, it is due to the fact the education system here is turning out imbeciles and they struggle to find persons even smart enough to become doctors. Jesus, in some countries you need to be educated to be a teacher and here all you need is a fucking pulse.

The bodies are here. The wit and intelligence isn't. Fortunately it is elsewhere and we get to pick; because we pay better and China and Japan and all these other countries don't. But you go to sleep at night worrying about it if you must.

You are a motherfucking retard. Especially if you think Japan is a poor third word country. Lol, lmao even.

Guess have luck with Doctor Nickocado from Brazil and his doctorate in ass enlargement, though I remain doubtful your posterior requires any more blubber.

 

[Doseferatu]

Boys are proud of easily getting laid.

Men are proud of finding a good wife and mother of their children.

And yet, when you point out that these boys in the article don't want commitments but instead to "have fun" (i.e. fuck around as per their own admission), you get a swarm of either disingenuous liars or latent homosexuals around you.

I find it incredible that so many men are willing to either lie or ignore that they have a biological impulse to spread their genetic code to as many available and willing females as possible. It's admirable when men can admit that but also control it.

The "boys" in the article are at least honest about it, even if they are looking for pity points (or sex, as the case might be).