Your drunk experiences

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My best drunk experience is one I don't even remember. According to my friends at the time, I thought I could levitate by sitting yoga-style, but somehow I managed to crawl around with my legs in that position. I also freaked out a happy couple when I told them I'm going marry them both and live in an underground shelter with them forever. One of my friends said I was lucky to not get my ass kicked or thrown in prison. The only person I hurt was myself.
 
I got extremely fucked up on sangria Wednesday night kind of by accident. It was homemade by me, vodka instead of brandy, and it was really good. I am on the petite side and I don't usually drink much hard liquor, especially not mixed with red wine. I had way more of the pitcher than either me or my husband realized...until I was sloshed and vomiting up the delicious steak dinner I prepared for us a few hours earlier :( I fell really hard a couple times trying to get to bed after I finished vomiting and it left some gnarly bruises on my ribs and upper arms. The placement of the bruising is especially bad because I sleep on my side. I threw up again when I woke up the next day, vomiting triggered just from trying to drink some water. On the bright side, the bruises are already reaching the "yellow" stage of healing after only a few days, so I guess I heal relatively fast.

It was fun until it wasn't.
 
On New Years for 2020, I drank about half a bottle of pure vodka without mixing it with anything. 30 minutes later, I got so drunk, I thought the fireworks the neighbors were setting off were gunshots lol. My poor friend had to deal with my drunk ass on the phone.

Was super fun and I would totally get that shitfaced again.
 
Observerer said:
- did a driveby puke on some poor people waiting for a bus when my dad picked me up. He stopped the car, opened the door, held me by my belt and pushed me out the door. When I was done puking he pulled me back in and drove off. Those poor bus people :(.

Needless to say, I don't drink anymore
Click to expand...

Ever hear of back-windows being referred to as puke-stoppers?

For a long time, being the only one in my group with a vehicle large & reliable enough to make 100+ mi round trips to underground parties, I was the designated driver. Therefore, we were usually still on the road well after daybreak, often when traffic consisted mainly of churchgoers.

One of my friends had gotten utterly wrecked on high-test exctasy, mushrooms, whippits, and possibly cocaine.... before, at some point, one of my other friends in the back offered him Hot Damn cinammon schnapps.

For about 10 miles in the Sunday morning rush, a particular sedan being driven by some very judgemental-looking old ladies kept pace, while constantly eyeballing me with their daggers of disapproval.

It was a warm morning, and I'd been rolling with my own window full down, with the wing-window also aimed in my direction; the other occupants of my Wagoneer were most definitely ripe from a long night. I spotted a coney island that beckoned, and rolled everything up as I parked.

Then the smell hit me.

My buddy has been vomiting, with his face pressed mostly against the half-open rear window; so that some of it exited the Jeep, was caught by the slipstream, and sprayed a chunky red the length of those faux-wood sides. The rest was taken by the wind blowing inside my truck and whipped behind the back seat, or pressurized into the door panels & upholstery. All of it sickeningly smelling of cinnamon schnapps, bile, mushrooms, candy, and energy drinks.

Never could get rid of the stench, and I told the guy who bought it some kid left a bag of Red Hots to melt one summer. That truck was haunted, in more ways than one.
 
The other night I bought a box of wine (meant to be for the next few days) and then had insomnia, I kept pouring myself more wine, crashed around 4am, and then slept until 2pm and woke up dizzy and useless.

There’s something about wine, It’s hard to keep track of how much you’re drinking and I always end up way overshooting my mark.
 
I got shit housed and super excited for Taco Bell once; I sat down on the ground and cried when it was closed (Easter weekend). A couple more random drunk people sat down and cried with me; someone eventually informed us that there was a pizza place open down the street and everything was okay.

Good times.
 
I can put an alcoholic to shame with my drinking game.
With that being said NyQuil and Everclear is a good time most won't remember. The Worst hangover was the weekend long binge a Señor frogs in Rosario beach. I have fuzzy vague recollections of all you can drink and waking up near Mazatlán Cathedral, 21 hours away at campsite on the day of the dead with some hippies.
 
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I was 14 and quite the small girl, so on my first binge on a mix of rum, wine and bourbon it hit me hard. When I couldn't sit up let alone walk my friends decided to go get my dad. He swooped me up and carried me over his shoulder. I then vomited and pissed my pants all over him.
 
At a friend's eighteenth birthday, four people, myself included, powered through a full jug of Jim Beam, one of those two gallon red wine jugs older redneck areas always seem to have, two cases of lager, and an undetermined but believed to be minor amount of wine coolers his mom left in the fridge. Almost none of us were experienced drinkers, and the evening got off to an early start with us wandering into an old man's cornfield, and him thinking we were crop stealers and firing off a warning shot or two over our heads.

One of the designated sober guys thought it would be a good idea to spin me around. He was sober as previously said, but not the sharpest tool in the shed. I turned into one of those children's water toys that sprays in a rotation, but the water was vomit.

I was unable to pick myself up from the ground after that, and observed the rest of the proceedings while slipping in and out of consciousness. Woke up, saw the birthday boy chasing one of the others, screaming how much he loved him. He was naked as the day he was born. Passed back out. Woke back up, birthday boy had decided he was hungry, and was diving into his parents' goldfish pond, trying to catch fish. He was still naked, and the chorus of a mixture of sober and drunken rednecks trying to pry a wet, naked man out of a pond still sticks with me to this day.

Apparently, at some point when I was not awake, birthday boy had noticed my cigarettes had fallen out of my pocket, loudly proclaimed that "they weren't going to kill his friend" and ate them. I still do not know how no one died that night. At least we had the sense to lock the gun cabinet and hand off the keys to someone trustworthy.

To cap it all off, came into school after the weekend, and the Latin teacher tells the whole class the tale of the weirdest encounter she had driving home and encountering a group of drunken roadside hooligans wearing a mixture of tac gear and gask masks, trench coats, and underwear and thinking she'd somehow wandered into Mad Max. Fortunately, due to the gas masks, she couldn't identify the perpetrators.

I can count on one hand the number of times I've gotten blackout drunk in my life, and that probably the dumbest time. Big motivator to learn moderation.

Also, do not go drinking with Australians during the Ashes series. I was told by the Irish tourist that broke both of his legs that I had fun, at least. Second motivator right there.
 
drank 1 bottle of vodka 1 night, smoked a good amount of weed, woke up 2 pm with bruises and my butt hurting. apparently I had some sloppy anal sex as my ex was in the same bed. immediately puked as I hated anal and he said I sucked him off after all over him. good times.
 
Drank an entire bottle of Jameson and during the process for some reason had a craving for milk too so I would drink a cup of milk inbetween cups of Jameson. Woke up the next day naked on the floor covered in rotten milk vomit. I got up and decided to go to my bedroom only to find that I had also vomited all over my bed. The vomit looked like someone decided putting cheese curds in cereal was a good idea. The smell was so foul I had to throw out my entire bed despite spending weeks trying to get the stench to leave.
 
I'm lame. I've only had the "roof bouncing up and down" sensation once and have never lost my memory. Vomit is a powerful deterrent.
 
scarfed down a whole bowl of those little Smokies sausages less than an hour before a night of drinking games because I mixed up the "don't drink on a completely empty stomach" tip and the "eat protein for a hangover" tip

didn't exactly help; 'til the day my friend moved out of his dorm, his bedroom had that smokey sausage smell and vomit stains on the carpet
 
got shitfaced to hell one night from vodka and moonshine and then the next morning decided to go to the gym as if nothing had happened. started lifting some weights and then my stomach started to raise hell and everything started to get wobbly. went to the bathroom, lied down on one bench and closed my eyes trying to make things stop spinning. after some minutes, i got up and tried to at least finish some reps, but i was too wasted to do anything. left the gym under the summer sun and went home. when i was almost arriving, i felt my mounth watering and the vomit rising, so i had to get out of the car and puked my guts right by the sidewalk. my vomit consisted of alcohol and protein shake. after purging everything out, i looked around kinda ashamed and saw a mother pulling her toddler by the arm with a disgusted look on her face.
i went home and took a shower. drank again that night.
 
2012 election day I had turned 21 a month before and was still in that whole "I can buy booze whenever I want" mode so I decided to celebrate the day as a "mature adult" and started drinking rotgut and boxed wine at 10 in the morning. I spent most of the day shitposting except when I went to class, which I did with a bottle of Mountain Dew that was 1/4 Popov. By the time the polls closed I'd been drinking the whole day and some friends invited me to a watch party at their place so I stumbled over to their building and met another friend in the lobby and dragged him to my friends room completely uninvited. Later in the evening someone joined the watch party and the first thing out of his mouth was "dude you're drunk" because that was the first time he'd seen me trashed out of my mind. I had to be walked back to my place because I was so out of it and woke-up with the worst hangover I'd ever had the next day. I've never touched a glass of Popov or boxed wine since.
 
Once in 2013 I bought a bottle of that "Kraken" black rum, I was still a pretty inexperienced drinker but I had drank plenty of Captain Morgan's Rum, however I was not prepared for how much stronger the Kraken rum was.

Drank way too much of it and literally passed out, let me tell you it's a terrifying feeling losing control like that, at some point I had made my way to my bed and intermediated between being totally blacked out and brief moments of vague consciousness, eventually I was conscious enough that I made my way into my bathroom and tried to sit on my toilet, instead I fell backward and broke the tank, flooding my bathroom with water.

So yeah, not a good time.
 
Was at bronycon 2019 (shadowing Chris and doing field work long story.) when I had a few 40s with the niggos of the "real" Baltimore... Unfortunately I then went back to the convention center and bought one of those hug pillows of the blue dragon girl from the show... I took a lyft back to my hotel and then danced with it after stuffing it with the hotel pillows.... Which I think I still have Come to think of it.
Still have that pillow but for novelty/memento purposes and yes it's a sfw version.


Still WTF are Baltimore niggas putting km their booze?
 
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