Your weirdest relationships

Doc Cassidy

Doc Cassidy

Notorious Bum Driller
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
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Dec 16, 2014
When I was in the Navy I was involved in a long distance relationship with a girl a few towns away from where I grew up. I thought we had a good thing going but over time it became clear she wasn't interested in me, she was into something I had. My wolf.

At the time I owned a full-blood Mackenzie tundra wolf which I had put a picture of on a dating site because owning a wolf was something cool and unique.

We sent letters back and forth over the course of a year but every letter seemed to focus more and more on my wolf, which I cleverly named Wolf. At first her letters were like "I can't wait to meet you, you're so amazing" and before long it was "I can't wait to meet you and Wolf, he's so beautiful."

As our correspondence continued she started talking less about me and more about Wolf. It didn't take me long to realize how weird it was that she was fixated on my wolf.

We had talked about what we would do after we met when I came home on leave, which was often sexual, but it didn't take long before she was sending me letters detailing her desire to fuck Wolf. It was like she was trying to ease me into the idea. Her last two letters before we broke up were straight up porn fanfics about her and Wolf.

I ended it shortly after that. I liked her a lot but it had just gotten way too weird. I still have the letters somewhere.
 
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I moved to a new city and struck up a friendship with some dude who looked like a fat version of Powder over hockey, it was nice to have someone to talk to about it who didn't want to shank me over it. He invited me out fairly often, but I wasn't able to most of the time. Finally the third time we hung out he got really fucking weird, I was on keto and the bartender is my buddy so I told him a head of time that after my second vodka soda to just make them seltzer. Fat Powder tried gas lighting me into thinking I agreed to touch him/give him a back massage by my eighth drink. I asked where he got this impression from, he kept insisting I said I would, I kept insisting he was clearly very wrong. He called me defiant, which is p fucking insane in this scenario. I bounced, he tried begging me to stay to talk it out, told him he was crazy. Went home and received a torrent of bizarre and entitled text messages about him being such a nice guy and he didn't deserve to be treated the way I was. Had a lot of fun viciously ripping into him. He told me all sorts of fun things like how he was the only one who ever cared for me and he hopes I die in a pipe lol, I wonder if I still have those. Never ran into him again.
 
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the first girl that I got in a relationship with was a coal burning succubus who only wanted to use me for sex and being a spic would spite her dad.
shedumped me the moment she realized I had actual feelings for her and not the rape ape she wanted me to be.
:heart-empty:
 
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I'm gonna power-level a bit LOT so bear with me... [also feels trip]

My weirdest relationship would be one of my most recent ones (this last February), we had over a 15 year age difference. (You can already imagine the complications)

It was all long-distance and this person had been my friend for nearly a year before we actually decided to start the relationship. I remember it clear as day, it was the week before Valentine's day. For months I was crushing on this person, trying to fester up the courage to tell them how I felt. They were the greatest friend I ever had and I couldn't help but fall deeply in love with them. They emotionally supported me and had my back on everything. They told me to continue my hobby in art, they told me to create a YouTube channel, they convinced me that the future is nothing to be afraid of, so long as I kept a positive outlook. They understood the root of my panic attacks and guided me closer to safety.

When I conveyed my love to them, they were slightly confused at first. It was expected of them. But it didn't take long for them to return the words, it was so beautiful coming out of their mouth. Their eyes sparkled every time we spoke on Skype, they were able to make me laugh when we played games together, they gave me a reason to get up in the morning. I wasn't scared with them. I felt every ounce of invincibility that a human being could.

Unfortunately, as expected, with an age gap like ours it didn't last. We ended up fighting quite a bit. They didn't understand the giddyness that came with my love for them, and I didn't understand their uptightness about how I felt. A lot of the time it seemed they wanted it to be a private thing, as if it was anything to be ashamed of.
Time and time again I brought up the concept of meeting them, only for it to be shut down with the fact that they had stuff to do. Adult stuff. I had just turned eighteen at the time, I didn't understand it.
Our relationship eventually began to suffer. We had passive aggressive arguments and we'd sometimes distance ourselves. It didn't take long for an argument big enough to tear it apart to come along.

My mornings went from a beautiful ocean view, to the anxious thoughts of "will they talk to me today?" "are we going to fight?" "will they block me?"
It was then that I realized it had run its course. Our relationship was a detour in their long life of failures, whereas it was a wake-up call for me.

If I could go back and change anything about it, I'd choose to stay friends with them. I sacrificed our friendship just so I could tell them I loved them...and in the end it wasn't worth it. I miss them very much.

TLDR:
I dated someone 15+ years older than me, it was weird.
 
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A guy I met on Warcraft. Turned out he was missing a tooth, weighed about 80 pounds soaking wet, and didn't tell me about his involuntary psych visits and various restraining orders until I was in his car in the middle of Nova Scotia.
 
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dated a dude who did many weird things, the weirdest being he had never masturbated before.... instead he "cracked" his penis. Just like you do a knuckle. I made him do it in front of me because I didn't believe him, but sure enough, I heard a *pop* and his boner went away......explains the crooked dick tho.

a few days before we broke up he had texted my MOTHER to tell me he wanted a break...
yeah it was deff my weirdest relationship ..
 
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When I was mourning my first breakup, I found out about and started using Omegle.

I just wanted to have conversations with random people on there, but most people who filled out shared interest tags seemed to only be there for cybersex.

Spoilered for size.
One random person I talked to about my various problems, including my poor communication skills (trying to explain my :autism: in a polite and roundabout way), but she was totally enthralled by the eloquence of my writing. She was interested enough in me to exchange emails so we could talk more later.

The character she showed me, claiming it was her fursona, was the waifu of Sage Freehaven (do we have a thread on that lolcow? Even other furries make fun of him), Sage's sister Sechs Fuckheaven. I drew her fan art of this character anyway and spitballed ideas on how to make it more unique to her - she settled on having the tail of a cat and all-blue headfur instead of brown with blue highlights.

She was from Japan and never shared her full name with me, only being known as Aiko. I tried to keep my distance, emotionally, because I was still hurting from my previous relationship and because she was not a Christian. She seemed really self-conscious about things like if my family would be okay with me dating an Asian and stuff.

I never called her my girlfriend, but I was definitely in love with her. She was frustratingly hard to get to know on a personal level in part because of the timezone difference and in part because of the partial language barrier - I knew English only, and she could read/write English better than most other English speakers I knew but never quite seemed good enough at it.

It turned out that she said such nice things about my writing skills because she wanted me to write up erotic fanfiction for her to read. Bondage, torture, and rape fanfiction. I consider it a mark of shame that I went as far as I did with giving her some (never going to the point of writing the rape scenes she wanted, but still giving her bondage and torture). She either didn't get or didn't care that I was uncomfortable with writing these things.

As months went on, she started sounding desperate - parents cutting off her computer and cellphone usage so she'd only be able to contact me from an Internet cafe, dad losing his job, etc. She might have been subtly trying to get me to offer her money but if she was I was too :autism: to notice.

One day we were on Messenger after a week or two apart.
Me: What's on your mind?
Her: Not much

And that was the last I ever heard from her. For a couple months I sent her an email every day hoping she'd come back. Then, eventually, I moved on.

And this is one of the best treatments I've ever received from a woman I was in love with.
 
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lol why are people writing "I chatted to this chick on Skype" as a relationship. That's fucking pathetic and you should kill yourself.

The weirdest relationship I ever had was this dude who would wake up in the middle of the night and tell me he hated me and wanted me to go, and then apologise and say he didn't mean it. He also had this weird hangup about wearing boxers or underwear in bed, as in it had to be naked or nothing. One time when I was at his house for the evening we did have an argument and I was like lol you're insane, and I bailed, and he was following my car screaming CUNT, CUNT, CUNT after me as I drove away.

He also peed the bed once.

Anyway in the end I found out he'd been molested as a kid, by two different people at different times, which kinda puts it all into perspective.
 
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Weirdest relationship was dating the person I almost married. They were great in highschool, listened to Iron Maiden and the like, enjoyed horror movies, ambivilent on kids, and played some mean vidya. Anyway, they went off into the Navy and instead of coming back gay (which would have been more forgivable, lol) they came back as the Good Christian who buys into the Quiverfull shit.

It was like some Invasion of The Bodysnatchers shit.

Needless to say, I bounced on the engagement as soon as I started getting the whole "God wants this for us" talks and the distinct impression I'd be marrying their straight-lace no fun ever parents.
 
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