- Joined
- Jun 11, 2015
Your weirdest relationships
- Thread starter Doc Cassidy
- Start date
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2016
Judging from this thread, having an online conversation while you mumble and state at your feet.
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2014
Before I met my current girlfriend I never really did the whole relationships thing so I have to live vicariously through other people. These are their stories:
My Fake Baby
This one actually relates to my current girlfriend. At the beginning of the year her cousin hooked up with a girl and within about a month of them having got together, they announced she was pregnant. The whole family was overjoyed and eagerly awaiting the birth. The baby was named and preparations were made for a baby shower. The nine month countdown was beginning to tick to a close and the baby still hadn't arrived, so it was decided labour needed to be induced. The girl was taken into hospital to have the procedure performed, only for the doctors to discover there was no baby. The girl had never been pregnant - she'd been lying the whole time. Quite how the guy never worked out it was all a ruse is beyond me - either it was a truly masterful deception or he was just thick. As you can probably imagine, they're no longer together.
"I miss what you had to offer"
When I was still at University, I found myself at a loose end one summer so I decided to enroll in a filmmaking course. I met a girl there who I became friends with and one day we were sitting in the canteen shooting the shit when her phone bleeped. She checked it and her face creased into a half-amused, half-disgusted look. I asked her what was up and she informed me she'd just received a snapchat of a guy's penis with the owner of said penis laughing raucously in the background. We both agreed this was very strange, but thought nothing of it until the next day when she received a text from the same guy who sent the snapchat saying "I miss it". When she enquired what "it" was, he replied "I miss what you had to offer". At this point I learned the full story. She'd been using the guy for sex for a couple of months, but realised he was a massive jerk and broke it off. Now he was thirsty and wanted to resume their "arrangement". She told him to go fuck himself because no-one else would and never heard from him again. Apparently he'd had her name down on his phone as "on tap" at one point, so quite where she was expecting the whole thing to go I'll never know.
Book marking, she's so close now / This girl is half his age
One of my best friends's ex-girlfriend recently got married to her PhD supervisor. The beginning of their relationship roughly coincided with him leaving his first wife, but it's unconfirmed whether the two were linked - apparently that marriage had been on the rocks for a while before that. I know we've been saying in this thread that age is just a number, but this guy's nearly thirty years older than her. Seeing pictures of them together is really uncomfortable because he honestly looks like he could be her dad. He's also not particularly good-looking - he's bald and I can easily imagine his face adorning a sex offenders registry. But they do say love is blind and there have been no problems so far.
My Fake Baby
This one actually relates to my current girlfriend. At the beginning of the year her cousin hooked up with a girl and within about a month of them having got together, they announced she was pregnant. The whole family was overjoyed and eagerly awaiting the birth. The baby was named and preparations were made for a baby shower. The nine month countdown was beginning to tick to a close and the baby still hadn't arrived, so it was decided labour needed to be induced. The girl was taken into hospital to have the procedure performed, only for the doctors to discover there was no baby. The girl had never been pregnant - she'd been lying the whole time. Quite how the guy never worked out it was all a ruse is beyond me - either it was a truly masterful deception or he was just thick. As you can probably imagine, they're no longer together.
"I miss what you had to offer"
When I was still at University, I found myself at a loose end one summer so I decided to enroll in a filmmaking course. I met a girl there who I became friends with and one day we were sitting in the canteen shooting the shit when her phone bleeped. She checked it and her face creased into a half-amused, half-disgusted look. I asked her what was up and she informed me she'd just received a snapchat of a guy's penis with the owner of said penis laughing raucously in the background. We both agreed this was very strange, but thought nothing of it until the next day when she received a text from the same guy who sent the snapchat saying "I miss it". When she enquired what "it" was, he replied "I miss what you had to offer". At this point I learned the full story. She'd been using the guy for sex for a couple of months, but realised he was a massive jerk and broke it off. Now he was thirsty and wanted to resume their "arrangement". She told him to go fuck himself because no-one else would and never heard from him again. Apparently he'd had her name down on his phone as "on tap" at one point, so quite where she was expecting the whole thing to go I'll never know.
Book marking, she's so close now / This girl is half his age
One of my best friends's ex-girlfriend recently got married to her PhD supervisor. The beginning of their relationship roughly coincided with him leaving his first wife, but it's unconfirmed whether the two were linked - apparently that marriage had been on the rocks for a while before that. I know we've been saying in this thread that age is just a number, but this guy's nearly thirty years older than her. Seeing pictures of them together is really uncomfortable because he honestly looks like he could be her dad. He's also not particularly good-looking - he's bald and I can easily imagine his face adorning a sex offenders registry. But they do say love is blind and there have been no problems so far.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2016
My wife's best friend has a hilariously sad and fucked up relationship with her husband.
Her friend is an extremely pretty girl, a bit hippyish.yoga mom but it works for her. Plus she's got a good job she's stellar at as a RN. Her husband is someone she married because he knocked her up in a drunken one night stand and his mom pressured them heavily to get hitched. Dude's nice enough, but extremely immature, massive mommy's boy, way in to cosplay, board games and Star Wars. Got kicked out of the National Guard for missing 3 weekends in a row of training and trying to get out of one of them with a letter from his mom. Can't hold a job for more than 3 months (I know, I hired him out of pity and he got himself fired 2 months later when my little brother realized he hadn't done a single thing he was asked to do and just looked up X-Wing miniature game pieces on eBay all day) and he looks like Weird Al.
My wife keeps telling her to leave him, but 4 years and 2 kids later she can't seem to do it, plus he has had his mom move in with them recently in to their new home, she was to pay rent in babysitting, but insists on leaving every day and dropping the kids off to her (At the clinic she works at) to play in the waiting room while she goes shopping in Pawn shops. Just 4 months ago we went with them to a sci-fi convention and homeboy managed to blow a month's pay at his new job on action figures and dress up clothes. My wife just looked at her and said "You could get him and his mom out of your house for same price as that light saber replica he keeps trying to buy"
Her friend is an extremely pretty girl, a bit hippyish.yoga mom but it works for her. Plus she's got a good job she's stellar at as a RN. Her husband is someone she married because he knocked her up in a drunken one night stand and his mom pressured them heavily to get hitched. Dude's nice enough, but extremely immature, massive mommy's boy, way in to cosplay, board games and Star Wars. Got kicked out of the National Guard for missing 3 weekends in a row of training and trying to get out of one of them with a letter from his mom. Can't hold a job for more than 3 months (I know, I hired him out of pity and he got himself fired 2 months later when my little brother realized he hadn't done a single thing he was asked to do and just looked up X-Wing miniature game pieces on eBay all day) and he looks like Weird Al.
My wife keeps telling her to leave him, but 4 years and 2 kids later she can't seem to do it, plus he has had his mom move in with them recently in to their new home, she was to pay rent in babysitting, but insists on leaving every day and dropping the kids off to her (At the clinic she works at) to play in the waiting room while she goes shopping in Pawn shops. Just 4 months ago we went with them to a sci-fi convention and homeboy managed to blow a month's pay at his new job on action figures and dress up clothes. My wife just looked at her and said "You could get him and his mom out of your house for same price as that light saber replica he keeps trying to buy"
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2016
I once dated a girl who had major hangups about her father leaving her family at a young age. Daddy issues, nothing too new right? However, she got a letter from him, the first time he'd made contact since she was a baby. Why is this important? Well, because she didn't reply to him, but did, around a week later, start calling me "Daddy" in bed. I bolted out of that relationship soon after, though the arguments and fights didn't help either.
She did other weird shit, though, too, like claiming that shitty Bleedman comic was by her, without ever knowing that I knew it wasn't because, well, Bleedman's an internet weirdo. Of course I'd know about him.
Really weird family too, super fake and really... Stereotypically middle-class aside from her mother, which she wasn't really raised by.
She did other weird shit, though, too, like claiming that shitty Bleedman comic was by her, without ever knowing that I knew it wasn't because, well, Bleedman's an internet weirdo. Of course I'd know about him.
Really weird family too, super fake and really... Stereotypically middle-class aside from her mother, which she wasn't really raised by.
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2014
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2016
- Joined
- May 13, 2016
He wasn't insane, that's just their culture, fucking racists...
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2014
The one with the 9/11 sideplot in it?
I'm thinking this girl has more issues than that daddy shit.
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2016
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2013
Never really been in an official relationship, but I did have this weird conversation with someone I met on a dating website who was a catfish. A very obvious one at that.
We talked over IM, she said she was in Africa helping take care of some starving kids as part of her job (smelled like bullshit right from the get go, but I wanted to see where this goes)
We talked about our interests for a bit, and then she asked,
"Are you single?"
"Uh... yes. I wouldn't be talking to you if that was the case."
"Oh."
"Me too."
It was at that point I knew that she was fake. But it baffled me that she would ask such a question and not even realize that would blow her cover.
"How old are you?"
"My age is on my profile..."
Then she makes up some bullshit as to why she can't check my age on the dating site we met on and then went on to say that we still had a lot to talk about, as if she knew she had been exposed. I said I didn't trust her and told her to fuck off. Then she acted like I was the bad person for cutting her off.
A month later, on that same dating website, I received a message from someone with a very similar username and almost the exact same greeting message as the previous one.
Dating websites are bullshit I swear...
We talked over IM, she said she was in Africa helping take care of some starving kids as part of her job (smelled like bullshit right from the get go, but I wanted to see where this goes)
We talked about our interests for a bit, and then she asked,
"Are you single?"
"Uh... yes. I wouldn't be talking to you if that was the case."
"Oh."
"Me too."
It was at that point I knew that she was fake. But it baffled me that she would ask such a question and not even realize that would blow her cover.
"How old are you?"
"My age is on my profile..."
Then she makes up some bullshit as to why she can't check my age on the dating site we met on and then went on to say that we still had a lot to talk about, as if she knew she had been exposed. I said I didn't trust her and told her to fuck off. Then she acted like I was the bad person for cutting her off.
A month later, on that same dating website, I received a message from someone with a very similar username and almost the exact same greeting message as the previous one.
Dating websites are bullshit I swear...
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kiwifarms.net
oh god let me tell you about the time I got my boyfriend in high school banned from the internet by his parents. this was a few years ago when I had just met him... we would sit on Skype all day and chat. things got a little hot and heavy and we developed a relationship. this stays between us btw. we would talk and eventually we got a little frisky with one another. play together got bland so we would cytube porn and synch it up so we could voice how hot we thought it was. well we started mailing one another things. he sent me a hoodie and I sent him my football jock strap. we were watching porn on cytube and a movie came up. it was a faggot gokkun flick. he got into it. for the next month he forced me to watch that shit with him. Every. Single. Night. so one day I go to the mailbox and there is a mason jar. you know those glass ones? and on top there was a note and it said "you know what to do 
<3<3". so I took it in my room and I just watched porn for 3 days straight... I beat my dick like it owed me money... I was just jacking and whacking lick crazy trying to fill this jar. the typical mason jar is about 12 oz and the average male load is about .05 oz. I jerked my cock about 2400 times to get enough spooge to send back to him. just fillin er up. I sent it back to him and he received it. the last message I received from him was "my mom wanted to say thanks for sending us some of the alfredo sauce you always talk about your mom making". i didn't hear from him again. his dad would send me a mason jar once a month with hundred dollar bills stuffed in them. he paid my way through college
<3<3". so I took it in my room and I just watched porn for 3 days straight... I beat my dick like it owed me money... I was just jacking and whacking lick crazy trying to fill this jar. the typical mason jar is about 12 oz and the average male load is about .05 oz. I jerked my cock about 2400 times to get enough spooge to send back to him. just fillin er up. I sent it back to him and he received it. the last message I received from him was "my mom wanted to say thanks for sending us some of the alfredo sauce you always talk about your mom making". i didn't hear from him again. his dad would send me a mason jar once a month with hundred dollar bills stuffed in them. he paid my way through college
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
I once worked with a guy. His wife also worked there and was our manager. He got it in his head that her and I were having an affair. We weren't, as she was like a sister to me. However, we got into a huge feud about it.
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2016
My highschool boyfriend had one leg, thanks to a birth defect. He had like maybe the upper third of a thigh and then a little stubby foot thing and then nada. He loved trying to freak me out by wiggling the stubby foot at me, but I actually thought it was kinda cute.