I'm leaving the internet for my own mental health before I do something permanent. I'm not doing good. More videos may come out about me, I've provided a lengthy statement to a few creators, so you'll probably see it there.
Much of what people say about me is disingenuous, but I've also made mistakes that were my own fault along the way. I've been beating myself up over my past for nearly 5-6 years now, and I think it might literally kill me.
I've booked therapy appointments and I'm trying my best to beat my depression, and then if I can do that, I can get my life together a little more. I live in regret day after day, and posting to this channel isn't good for my mental health. I am leaving social media. I don't know if I'll even manage to make a decent life for myself or not but I hope I'll be able to get better.
Regardless of anything. The labels people use for me are inaccurate. I have been legally investigated and cleared over allegations toward me, but where I've made mistakes, I see a pattern of carelessness. And in current day, my head is just wrecked. It's not healthy and I should have taken a step back sooner. The more I stay the more depressed I become and the more time I waste not being in therapy.
If you've supported me at any point, thank you. If you think less of me cause of videos you've seen about me, I understand. If you feel let down, I'm sorry. I can't change anything in the past and words mean nothing, so all I can say is that I'll work on self improvement. But I don't expect anyone to take this post as fact. Actions over words. If you wanna defend me, defend me on the BS, defend me on the lies, defend me over what was investigated legally and refuted. But please don't defend where I could have done better to avoid getting into such situations in the first place.
If you're confused why I'm leaving despite much of this having happened years ago, it's been eating me up inside and it's all I've been able to think about. Unless I'm literally either high or drunk, all I think about on loop is every mistake I've made on loop over and over again. I don't hate anyone else on the planet more than myself because I caused every problem in life, nobody else.
That's about it. Sorry. Gonna go feel sorry for myself like usual and have a breakdown or something like the waste of space I am.