I'd probably tell them to go have intercourse with themselves in my native language, because the whiners will be almost guaranteed to be foreign Anglo scum as cancel culture is pretty much non-existent here. The only ones who have attempted to import it thus far are highly controversial and radical activists, so any newspaper or employer will take such threats quite critically.
The right to be able to say whatever the fuck you want has been a very public issue here and has evoked
very passionate and public defenses. A company or paper would be absolutely fucking foolish to attack/fire someone for making jokes on the Internet anonymously, given the bar that has already been set. The amount of shit high profile people have gotten away with, that I would never even think of joking about makes any finger-wagging at edgy posts utterly laughable.
If I was a burger, I'd just keep still and wait for it to blow over. Don't respond unless you absolutely have to, and
never apologize. No retreat, no surrender.
If I was a bong, I'd probably already be in fucking jail.
If I got fired from some gay ass corporation I'd sue them for wrongful termination and let them settle me. Chances are I haven't done anything because I don't interact with people, so I'd force them to show their hand in court.
This really is the silver bullet for all this SJW witchhunt shit. The only damage they can really do is getting you fired and discredited, and that's only because the average business thinks it's better for their profits to just cut you loose and save themselves all the angry @s. I know it's not without its risks, but the moment those injured employees take a stand and drag these same businesses through the courts for wrongful termination in the most public and painful way possible, is the moment this crap fucking dies. They'll quickly realize that no, bowing to the empty boycott threats of random Twatterers is
not the move to make when the alternative is something far,
far more potentially damaging and costly. And that takes all the power away from these e-mobs.