The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%

  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%

  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%

  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%

  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%

  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%

  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%

  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%

  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%

  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%

  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%

  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%
  • Total voters
    2,258
Questionable Ceviche said:
It originally was a way for people with chronic illness to explain to normal people how their illness impacts their daily life, with spoons being used to represent the amount of energy they have for things every day. It's a good way to help sick children learn to communicate how they're feeling. It's not a bad communication method by itself, but like everything else for the chronically ill, it's been co-opted by munchies like Kindness who have ruined it. These fakers take on the trappings of chronic illness for attention while invalidating people who are actually suffering.

Funny that she's claiming all of these nonstop seizures while wanting to go scrub/deep clean their ruined floor. And that she somehow ~*~magically~*~ foresaw that she would be there longer than a couple of days. I hope her neighbors call animal control on her abandoned pets.
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Alternate argument: the floor of the Tranch house is so nasty trying to clean it would induce seizures

Boris Blank's glass eye said:
2-12 episodes daily, each of them lasting up to several hours? Felicity's been a vegetable for the past month, then. I could believe it with AstraZeneca which had the unfortunate and extremely rare side effect of spontaneous blood clotting, which - reportedly - never occured with the rest of the Western vaccines.
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Moderna too IIRC
 
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Screen Shot 2021-09-23 at 3.53.34 PM.png


Meth. She abuses meth.
 
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AssignedEva said:
My old place had a well established rhubarb crown and I didn't have to do anything to it, it just grew. It was on clay soil as well, which they're not supposed to like. I haven't planted any rhubarb since because the only thing I know to do with it is basically just rhubarb crumble or rhubarb and custard and I don't really eat that many desserts.

I don't have blackcurrants but I do have blackberries and they're fucked this year. None of them have ripened at all, none in the hedgerows or scrubland near me either. I would be interested to know what tomatoes you grew though, I don't know if it's the varieties I've used before or if I'm just crap at tomatoes lol
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I had a ton of seeds so just planted the lot, several varieties of cherry as well as salad and beef tomatoes. All did well, even the excess ones which I gave a chance to live outside. Really unusual. I have heard that in England the weather was *so* warm and humid that it let various tomato maladies take hold, so maybe that’s been an issue for you?
And yes also blackberries here.. not as good as usual. Anything with blossoms got hit by a late frost I think.

AssignedEva said:
If Bonnie started suggesting she needs to calm down or - gasp - actually criticised her, he'll fall off that pedestal and have to deal with borderline rage. That will probably still happen at some point, but by then she'll be safely off the tranch and anything she tweets will be drowned out because she tweets 800 times a day.

She needed hugs from her father when she was a little girl. Trauma's one of the risk factors for a kid turning out to be borderline, another is conditional approval/neglect.
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Yes. If I can give an unqualified opinion, what were watching is textbook dependent personality disorder, amped up with the bipolar and Adderall consumption on top.
I knew someone with the same combination in the past, and some of this feels uncomfortably familiar.

Though I can’t decide if Bonnie is oblivious and enjoying himself or trying to let her down gently and get back to normal.
In the photos he looks genuinely happy. Lovebombing will do that to a guy.
Edit: That is Amphitrite’s observation, but I agree!
 
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The Angry Polack said:
Well this is smart, if Bonnie kicks her out she can just latch onto one of the other house troons. Which one is transcucumber again?
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Man, between her practically trying to chain herself to Bonnie over the last 24 hours and now immediately baiting with 'ooooooh I'm interested in another troon' to try and sink a little hook of jealousy in there, Alyssa is really trying to speedrun 'crazy (ex)-girlfriend'.

Can't wait to watch another cluster of 'polyamory' go absolutely nuclear in realtime.
 
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What with all the excitement in the trooniverse between Denfur, spectacular performances by orbiters and new confirmed tranchers I've got some updated cards to share. Orbiters now have cards too, posted in the other thread.

Penny and Kathryn get Denfur makeovers, Jen gets no update because boring.
f JEN denfur.jpgf KATHRYN denfur.jpgf PENNY denfur.jpg

Bonnie and Sky get updates in keeping with their incursion into emotionally unhinged polyamory with Kindness / Alyssa.
f Sky Denfur.jpgf BONNIE denfur.jpgo KINDNESS.jpg
o KINDNESS AD.jpg

Josie's updated headshot has been waiting a while to debut. Winter will probably never do anything interesting worth updating, likewise Daisy below.
f JOSIE.jpgf WINTER.jpg

New temp tranchers! No government names for them, I'm taking that @SPARKLEGRYMM is Indigo from this tweet. I'm sure there are more I'm missing, but let's be honest, they're the least exciting aspect of the tranch right now.
t Daisy.jpgt NeptuneVulpis.jpgt sprklegrymm.jpg
 
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So her new post says she's not leaving yet again, but will leave tomorrow morning. Except for the fact that she's sad and that suddenly might be a seizure warning.

Ok Alyssa. Your grift is running dry


So I've never had rats but I've had mice, ferrets and guinea pigs. And all of those things poop a ton. Even if her pets have food and water (hopefully they didn't fucking knock over a bowl and die from starvation or dehydration), their enclosures must be absolutely full of piss and shit.

That makes me MATI.
 
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Tactical Wizard said:
Maybe I don’t hang around the right threads…. But the fuck’s a spoonie?

Also, does it seem like Kevvy is trying to keep her around to troll Bonnie?
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Don't forget, at Denfur, Kevin had a crush on Kindness, before we knew her name, we knew of her, from his tweets.

The Angry Polack said:
Well this is smart, if Bonnie kicks her out she can just latch onto one of the other house troons. Which one is transcucumber again?
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Transcucumber is Neck. Bryan Loeper, the deadbeat dad.

If it's him she has a crush on, I am shamefully excited.
I had a feeling, from the moment Kevin mentioned Kindness and Neck being at the Tranch at the same time, that Kindness would try to jump dick and onto the Transcucumber.

Objectively, he is not overweight, not balding, has not been on HRT for too long so his junk still works, and unlike Don Pablo Alejandro Mendoza de la Trancha, he doesn't need to employ farm machinery to lift his gigantic fupa to even find it.
As horrifying as it is, Neck is a prime catch on the Tranch.

I will now go and cover myself in the blood of Jesus for knowing, thinking, and typing these cursed words.
 
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Boris Blank's glass eye said:
2-12 episodes daily, each of them lasting up to several hours? Felicity's been a vegetable for the past month, then. I could believe it with AstraZeneca which had the unfortunate and extremely rare side effect of spontaneous blood clotting, which - reportedly - never occured with the rest of the Western vaccines.
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They accidentally put the answer right there: "daily non-epileptic seizures." Slap a Holter monitor on her if it might be cardiac, otherwise it's psychogenic. PEBKAC.
 
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Aunt Carol said:
They accidentally put the answer right there: "daily non-epileptic seizures." Slap a Holter monitor on her if it might be cardiac, otherwise it's psychogenic. PEBKAC.
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There are non epileptic seizures that aren't psychogenic. You already mentioned cardiac issues but diabetes, sleep disorders etc can cause them. They're considered non epileptic because you can discover and rectify the root cause, thus preventing the seizures from occurring without anti convulsive medication.

Of course that isn't what either of these bitches have, but just a fun fact
 
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If the tranchers (penny) don't kick her out soon she'll still be here at christmas, she's clearly showing no signs of leaving voluntarily.
She's got her car and dog there, it makes more sense for her to not leave from a survival stand point, the longer she's there the odds of here leaving decrease.

Either the cat eats the rats, then starves to death, or the rats eat the cat, and start a colony that the landlord has to eventually deal with, either way it's rip to mr cat sadly.
 
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MetalParakeet said:
There are non epileptic seizures that aren't psychogenic. You already mentioned cardiac issues but diabetes, sleep disorders etc can cause them. They're considered non epileptic because you can discover and rectify the root cause, thus preventing the seizures from occurring without anti convulsive medication.

Of course that isn't what either of these bitches have, but just a fun fact
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You're right. The metabolic ones are especially easy to diagnose. Someone who seizes once or twice with a fucky blood glucose isn't going to go around saying that they have a seizure disorder; it'd be the same as saying that an uncontrolled diabetic has a toe-falling-off disorder.

When someone delegates her hype gal to take video of her admittedly non-epileptic seizures and post it on Twitter, that is a decent sign it's the psychogenic kind. (I like to think that the quoted grifter decided to own up to the "non-epileptic" part because she got too much critique on her seizure acting.)

...You know, speaking of extraordinary claims, has any of the media coverage of the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch touched on how many DID sufferers are in their ranks? It's weird that we're all expected to take their gender issues as sincere and inarguable, but someone in the editorial department has made the decision to ignore the part where everyone is a plural, possibly because it strains credulity.

Maybe that's for next year.
 
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