Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

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How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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I'm sure he doesn't consider himself wrangled, but there's a reason this particular tard has never moved away from his immediate family/support network. He'd suffer trying to live on his own in Brooklyn.
Also, New York is pretty expensive. Rent in Brooklyn alone would wipe out his patreon.

But yes, you're probably right. If Bob lost his family, he'd be fucked. I wonder how much of said patreon they contribute to keep him from having to move back in.

Honestly if Bob were smart (I can’t finish that sentence with a straight face), he should’ve expected Nintendo to go this route especially with their collaborations with Ubisoft. Nintendo views Mario as a family friendly series and would take a comedic route.
He likes to pretend that shit doesn't exist so he can keep his delusional world unchanging and unaltered from his childhood head canon

Bob's so unimaginative that he can't even do like most spergs do (like me lol) and have his own headcannon where it's like a AU (Alternate Universe) where Mario is from Brooklyn while this other "universe" of Mario with Yoshi's Island is its own separate parallel reality.
He technically does, in that he's insistent that the American localisation is still the correct version, and the "born in the Mushroom Kingdom" version is a non-canon AU. The problem is it gets harder and harder to maintain that idea when every piece of Mario lore since Yoshi's Island has contradicted that stance, and Miyamoto has never liked and never approved of the Brooklyn version. Which will likely never happen since most people have either forgotten about that cartoon or understand that it was crap that was made to sell the games and was never official.

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Edit: Off topic, but someone just sent me this. I wonder if Bob's seen it. He'd probably insist that the astrophysicist is a fake or just obsolete.

gvHPSpB.jpeg
 
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Apologies for reviving stuff from a while back amidst The Mario Tragedy, I just saw this trending on the Twitter and in case anyone was still wondering why Robert was so enamored with Free Guy in particular but didn't want to actually see the movie, here it is:
1632620051367.png

 
Apologies for reviving stuff from a while back amidst The Mario Tragedy, I just saw this trending on the Twitter and in case anyone was still wondering why Robert was so enamored with Free Guy in particular but didn't want to actually see the movie, here it is:
View attachment 2569449
This sequence was clearly rewritten after Disney's purchase of 20th Century Fox.

To paraphrase Ian Malcom in Jurassic Park, "Your screenwriters were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should."
 
This sequence was clearly rewritten after Disney's purchase of 20th Century Fox.

To paraphrase Ian Malcom in Jurassic Park, "Your screenwriters were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should."
It was! From an Entertainment Weekly interview:
"There was always this [idea] for the third act of the movie to show Guy fighting an upgraded version of himself named Dude," Levy tells EW in an interview. "We always wanted this idea that, at that point, Guy had mastery of the game world in which he lives and can therefore access all the various devices and weaponry that advanced players can utilize in Free City." In light of the Disney-Fox merger, they realized, "If the whole idea of this movie is wish fulfillment, wouldn't the ultimate wish fulfillment for Guy to be to use the most iconic weaponry, essentially, in cultural history? And now we're owned by the same studio that conveniently owns Lucas[film] and Marvel."
 
Apologies for reviving stuff from a while back amidst The Mario Tragedy, I just saw this trending on the Twitter and in case anyone was still wondering why Robert was so enamored with Free Guy in particular but didn't want to actually see the movie, here it is:

That is just terrible, almost every single frame of this horseshit is cringy! No wonder Blobert the Manchild fucking loved this!

It gets worse. The clip cuts off before it happens, but he also pulls out this item from Fortnite (and Channing Tatum is seen "flossing" earlier in the movie.
Fuck me sideways...


I am aware that Blobby is a fucking retard who praises China for everything, the very land where a million people live in old, crumbling bunkers full of mold, where construction work is often done shoddily and safety standards are laughable, but just imagine the fucking nightmare it must be to live in that shithole. The daily cocktail of sludge from airborne pollution, soot and grime falling from the passing train and a marvelous symphony of a deafeningly loud train tearing your eardrums on the daily. Even with soundproofing there is no way the apartments below don't get blasted hourly with sounds from the passing trains!

Remember in Blues Brothers when they lived in the shitty apartment the train ran next to? And the joke is its shitty to live next to a train?

Living under a train seems like a nightmare.
Living near airports is also a bad idea because planes are really, really loud. Imagine living right under a fucking train station lol!
 
Bob really thinks that things that look cool should be applied to real life without any actual consideration of how practical it would be.
I actually knew a guy who had the same thought pattern. He’d watch cartoons and anime and thought companies should make the technology on tv for no other reason than it looked cool or so he could live out his fantasies.

I swear these consumer geeks really are children. They see a shiny object and they go nuts over it.
 
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I actually knew a person who had the same thought pattern. They’d watch cartoons and anime and thought companies should make the technology on tv for no other reason than it looked cool or so they could live out their fantasies.

I swear these consumer geeks really are children. They see a shiny object and they go nuts over it.
Bob is the worst of it because at least those other geeks are just having fun and shit whereas Bob takes it super seriously especially with his rants on how people stole his rightful future
 
Bob is the worst of it because at least those other geeks are just having fun and shit whereas Bob takes it super seriously especially with his rants on how people stole his rightful future
True, but a lot those geeks are as delusional as Bob.

The guy I met was unattractive, had a weird accent, slurred speech and I think severely autistic.
 
Apologies for reviving stuff from a while back amidst The Mario Tragedy, I just saw this trending on the Twitter and in case anyone was still wondering why Robert was so enamored with Free Guy in particular but didn't want to actually see the movie, here it is:
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I thought you were buffaloing me and this was just like a youtubepoop shitpost but the movie itself acknowledged it and it never stopped
I chuckled when he got the shield and it cut to Chris Evans, than my soul died as the references just kept coming.
I was gonna make a cute comment about how you didn't appreciate the movie hanging a lampshade on all of it with the pajeet saying "This is dumb" but after a second viewing he clearly says "This is dope".

What is the point past post truth? What is beyond meta? There was Deadpool poster in the dweeb eating twizzlers room. Were all the cellphone commercial Reynolds did before this movie just ads for it? How long until we get abridged, I mean like Team Four Star abridging, versions of movies? When will we see a movie that's nothing but references of other movies. I don't mean like Scary Movies. I mean a movie that is nothing but like the fight scene in that clip where it's just things from other movies after things from other movies with no cohesion or point and someone off screen yells "REMEMBER STAR WARS?!" like an unironic Mike Stoklasa?

If Corana-chan shutting down the world and Biden helping to screw up America further kills Hollywood it will all be worth it.

OH AND FUCKING SEMPAI NOTICED!
09-25-21 I clapped when I saw it.PNG

"Those are dumb question mark"

I don't have words. Of course this idiot had to chime in to defend his consoomer honor.
 
I thought you were buffaloing me and this was just like a youtubepoop shitpost but the movie itself acknowledged it and it never stopped

I was gonna make a cute comment about how you didn't appreciate the movie hanging a lampshade on all of it with the pajeet saying "This is dumb" but after a second viewing he clearly says "This is dope".

What is the point past post truth? What is beyond meta? There was Deadpool poster in the dweeb eating twizzlers room. Were all the cellphone commercial Reynolds did before this movie just ads for it? How long until we get abridged, I mean like Team Four Star abridging, versions of movies? When will we see a movie that's nothing but references of other movies. I don't mean like Scary Movies. I mean a movie that is nothing but like the fight scene in that clip where it's just things from other movies after things from other movies with no cohesion or point and someone off screen yells "REMEMBER STAR WARS?!" like an unironic Mike Stoklasa?

If Corana-chan shutting down the world and Biden helping to screw up America further kills Hollywood it will all be worth it.
You're too late since Wreck it Ralph 2, and Ready Player One already did that shit. I can only sorta defend Free guy for doing it since I bet Disney wanted that shit in or Ryan Reynolds and Taika Waititi (the Pajeet in the clip) both wanted to circlejerk Marvel stuff since they both are fans of it and are associated with it (Ryan with Deadpool and Taika for directing Thor Ragnarock). But really that scene was cringeworthy after the Captain America shield, and consoomers encouraging that shit makes it worse.

OH AND FUCKING SEMPAI NOTICED!
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"Those are dumb question mark"

I don't have words. Of course this idiot had to chime in to defend his consoomer honor.
I mean Bob built his identity around consoomerism from acting like Mario is his best friend who was there for him his entire life to smugly talking about his "knowledge" of comics.
 
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Apologies for reviving stuff from a while back amidst The Mario Tragedy, I just saw this trending on the Twitter and in case anyone was still wondering why Robert was so enamored with Free Guy in particular but didn't want to actually see the movie, here it is:
View attachment 2569449
TBH I'd actually consider the scene fine in a campy way if they didn't keep cutting away from it to have Internet People emote with all the authenticity of a Youtube thumbnail.
 
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