Prison Letters Chris writes me from Prison (dated September 19th, 2021)

[AnOminous]

With Chris, he can't understand other people that well (if at all), so he's going to sing like a canary about why he did what he did in an attempt to make other people "understand" the way he "understands" something.

One thing cops are very good at is getting stupid people to admit to the shit they've done. Look how every moron here who gets in trouble with the cops from Ethan Ralph on down insists they talked to the cops and the cops totally agreed with them and are invariably shocked when they end up charged with some shit, even if they often tard luck out of it eventually.

 

[A Grey Cat]

One thing cops are very good at is getting stupid people to admit to the shit they've done. Look how every moron here who gets in trouble with the cops from Ethan Ralph on down insists they talked to the cops and the cops totally agreed with them and are invariably shocked when they end up charged with some shit, even if they often tard luck out of it eventually.

yeah there's that, everyone is also saying Chris wont teflon tard his way outta this one but Ethan Ralph can tard luck his way out of revenge porn and a bunch of other sharts he got himself into. Really his best bet is the courts will realize sending chris to hard time and losing the tugboat from a felony charge, may as well be sending him to the chair cause he'll either die on the inside or die on the streets when/if he ever gets out.

There's the chance that at the end of it, Chris gets slapped with high misdemeanor charges, enough to go back to regional for a year at the very least, maybe less with time served/good behavior. (as if)


also

Judgement Day is nearing

This is what Chris actually believes:

 

[AnOminous]

yeah there's that, everyone is also saying Chris wont teflon tard his way outta this one but Ethan Ralph can tard luck his way out of revenge porn and a bunch of other sharts he got himself into.

Ralph hasn't gotten away with that yet. He tard lucked his way out of it, but then he tarded his way right back into charges coming back out of sheer stupidity.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Ralph hasn't gotten away with that yet. He tard lucked his way out of it, but then he tarded his way right back into charges coming back out of sheer stupidity.

oh i see my bad i really only followed ralph when the gunt story broke and when the fat fuck streamed Chris' arrest and only just heard about the whole shart incident recently.

WTF happened to lolcows? they used to be the court jesters of the internet now...they're like if the jester was caught screwing the king's daughter. sad maybe a little funny but also up the creek without a paddle.

 

[Wormy]

oh i see my bad i really only followed ralph when the gunt story broke and when the fat fuck streamed Chris' arrest and only just heard about the whole shart incident recently.

WTF happened to lolcows? they used to be the court jesters of the internet now...they're like if the jester was caught screwing the king's daughter. sad maybe a little funny but also up the creek without a paddle.

Considering the direction comedy has taken, this actually is quite appropriate.

Comedy used to be, ya know, saying funny things that make people laugh with the intention of making people laugh. Now it's mainly hurling slurs, especially nigger, or straight up harassing and assaulting people for just your own laughs, and then mocking said people when they call the stupid thing you said/did stupid. Lolcows following a similar road only makes sense.

In other words

 

[human trash]

oh i see my bad i really only followed ralph when the gunt story broke and when the fat fuck streamed Chris' arrest and only just heard about the whole shart incident recently.

WTF happened to lolcows? they used to be the court jesters of the internet now...they're like if the jester was caught screwing the king's daughter. sad maybe a little funny but also up the creek without a paddle.

social media is to blame ... mostly. obviously it comes down to the person itself. but in the case of lolcows, they all generally fall victim to this.

lolcows have symphasizers these days, people who give them lots of cash and otherwise enable them, people who reach out to them and attempt to shelter them from all of the 'toxicity' of the internet.

this is because the internet is a much vaster and more public forum in 2021. you can blame things like twitter and especially reddit for this.

back in the 'good old days' the internet was a lot more fragmented and thus it was harder for white knights to even get in contact with chris. these days all they have to do is like his posts on twitter and throw money at him on patreon

this leads to the lolcows getting increased egos which means they're more likely to do shit like revenge porn or rape their mom because they think that they're above consequences because the internet has told them that they are. don't get me wrong, they'd probably do it in the first place eventually - chris has always had maligned thoughts about 'barbie-chan' - but all of the weenery, a-logging, orbiting, and other such pozloading my neghole stuff over the years sure hasn't helped with chris thinking that he's a god

combine this with the fact that chris and gunt already thought they were above consequences before people on the internet started enabling them

basically, take one retard and add a bunch of white knights and enablers and orbiters and this is what happens

 

[Plight of the Bumblebee]

oh i see my bad i really only followed ralph when the gunt story broke and when the fat fuck streamed Chris' arrest and only just heard about the whole shart incident recently.

WTF happened to lolcows? they used to be the court jesters of the internet now...they're like if the jester was caught screwing the king's daughter. sad maybe a little funny but also up the creek without a paddle.

When the world's a circus, only the best clowns thrive.

 

[Apteryx Owenii]

'Infamous transgender internet personality Chris Chan compares self to Jesus while jailed for allegedly raping elderly mother'
What an incredible title, gotta commend them.

the whole article is bizarrely based for a local news crew

Why? why?! Why do you people insist on living in some fantasy world where chris was brought in cuffed and chained, sat down in a briefing room like some episode of law and order then had some cute lady cop to talk to and when she was nice to him, maybe offered him some tard tendies, that got him to sing like a canary about fucking barb while they got it all on tape? You're level of fantasy thinking is almost as dumb as his.

No one believes that.

People believe, based on a lot of good evidence, that Chris can't shut the fuck up- and that's all it takes. Not some dramatic showdown with a cop slamming a phone book down on a table or a 'lady cop' bringing tendies (although it is entirely possible that they offered him something to drink\eat). He probably started yapping unprompted in the back of the car. He was already saying weird shit before they got him in there.

After booking, some non-uniformed cops would ask him to sit down in an interview room, take the handcuffs off if they weren't already off, probably mirandize him again just in case, and then talk. Some people who hate the cops really will refuse to say a word, even if they've been shot and the cops are asking who did it. Chris is not such a person. How many times did he keep talking to trolls even after it was absolutely clear they were fucking with him? How may times did he tell them self-incriminating information even though they didn't even ask (sometimes in an effort to cover other things up that were much less embarrassing)?

This is the guy who just wrote a letter to someone (Marvin? idk) completely incriminating himself and had him pass it to Null, who he says had betrayed him.

He cannot help himself.

 

[Unattended Baby]

This is a point that I don't see addressed enough: Chris's total lack of remorse. Maybe we are so used to this that we don't find it worth discussing, but consider: Chris doesn't even think he did wrong. He was just ridding Mommy Magdalene of her sins. That he ends up in jail is solely the fault of one Judas, and now Chris is going to die for our sins. God is sure to exact vengeance on us because we failed the " Worldwide Test". As for the money, a gal has the right to feel comfortable right? You don't expect her to sleep in a van don't you?

I don't know why there has been so much discussion about insanity plea because it is obviously out of the question; the specific mention of being "consentful" means that Chris knows what he did to Barb was a violation. On the contrary, if the prosecution presents this letter, this will put Chris in a worse light than he already is in.

The total lack of remorse is what stood out to me the most. Admittance to crimes is one thing, but a lack of remorse will only make the long dick of the law hurt worse for Chris.

 

[Slavic Insider]

Are they playing "Kick the Autistic" in jail?

 

[Pickle Inspector]

yeah there's that, everyone is also saying Chris wont teflon tard his way outta this one but Ethan Ralph can tard luck his way out of revenge porn and a bunch of other sharts he got himself into. Really his best bet is the courts will realize sending chris to hard time and losing the tugboat from a felony charge, may as well be sending him to the chair cause he'll either die on the inside or die on the streets when/if he ever gets out.

There's the chance that at the end of it, Chris gets slapped with high misdemeanor charges, enough to go back to regional for a year at the very least, maybe less with time served/good behavior. (as if)


also


This is what Chris actually believes:

I think it’s possible he’ll get off lightly from a legal perspective since he always somehow does but this time he’s completely screwed over since any conditions like stay away from Barb he‘s going to break and sex register or not he’s going to be effectively banned from conventions and I can’t imagine places where children attend like Pokemon card clubs will want an infamous middle aged rapist around so it’s only a matter of time before he tard rages out in public once released.

 

[Biemelsaus]

Those that think Chris would be reluctant or refuse to talk to the cops should rewatch the arrest footage again. If I remember correctly he was already eagerly chatting to them about his delusions on the way to their car.

 

[AnOminous]

This is the guy who just wrote a letter to someone (Marvin? idk) completely incriminating himself and had him pass it to Null, who he says had betrayed him.

He'd confess without even thinking he was confessing, thinking he was saying the absolute truth and if they just listened, they'd obviously let him go. Just like he thought throwing a tantrum about his Legos in court would somehow get him let go. He's completely delusional at this point.

 

[Ophelia]

Those that think Chris would be reluctant or refuse to talk to the cops should rewatch the arrest footage again. If I remember correctly he was already eagerly chatting to them about his delusions on the way to their car.

Was he talking because he knew he was being filmed?

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

the whole article is bizarrely based for a local news crew

No one believes that.

People believe, based on a lot of good evidence, that Chris can't shut the fuck up- and that's all it takes. Not some dramatic showdown with a cop slamming a phone book down on a table or a 'lady cop' bringing tendies (although it is entirely possible that they offered him something to drink\eat). He probably started yapping unprompted in the back of the car. He was already saying weird shit before they got him in there.

After booking, some non-uniformed cops would ask him to sit down in an interview room, take the handcuffs off if they weren't already off, probably mirandize him again just in case, and then talk. Some people who hate the cops really will refuse to say a word, even if they've been shot and the cops are asking who did it. Chris is not such a person. How many times did he keep talking to trolls even after it was absolutely clear they were fucking with him? How may times did he tell them self-incriminating information even though they didn't even ask (sometimes in an effort to cover other things up that were much less embarrassing)?

This is the guy who just wrote a letter to someone (Marvin? idk) completely incriminating himself and had him pass it to Null, who he says had betrayed him.

He cannot help himself.

He was dumb enough to confess to his crimes in this letter, too. Both to fucking Barb and stealing from her in violation of the EPO.

There’s no doubt in my mind he regaled the cops just as casually about his (s)exploits. As you say, tard can’t help it.

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

"That being stated, All of my life, my mind, eyes, and literally held the constant perception of being the Central Camera #000, out of all of the other cameras, infinite, from the First Person Perspective of all others."

If I was Chris I would just open the console and noclip through the jail walls

 

[OldGuy]

I hope Chris will testify to this in court..

 

[TheRealMcCoy]

I hope Chris will testify to this in court..

If his lawyer is smart, he'll keep Chris far, far away.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

I think that's the most disturbing thing in this letter. He has no remorse, instead he is doubling down. He washed away her sins! Yeah that's gonna play oh so well with a Judge or Jury. His own lawyer is probably trying to hold back the dry heaves at that one. Can you imagine if Barb ever reads this? Or the neighbors?

I don't think Chris has felt genuine remorse for anything he has done in his life. The only apologies he's ever given is the same type a child who got caught taking a cookie from the cookie jar gives. He isn't sorry because is he is actually sorry but because he knows he's expected to say he is. It's incredibly disturbing he sees nothing wrong with raping his own mother.

 

[Male Idiot]

I don't think Chris has felt genuine remorse for anything he has done in his life. The only apologies he's ever given is the same type a child who got caught taking a cookie from the cookie jar gives. They aren't because he's sorry but because he knows he's expected to say he is. It's incredibly disturbing he sees nothing wrong with raping his own mother.

Yeah, but then again, Chris is a dumb fuck. You have a hard time feeling remorseful if you are A: retarded B: massive egoist.

Chris has both requirements in spades. At least a good natured tard will feel sorry if he ruins a super expensive carpet by sharting all over it. Egoists can at least feel remorse, if only for themselves in a " Shouldn't have done that, now I am worse off." way.

Chris can't even do this.