Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Gay Mouth]

How it started:


How it’s going:


HAPPY BELATED 1,000 pounds PAGES, TESS!

 

[Water-T]

It's as if the Pillsbury Doughboy, an East LA chola, and Iggy Azalea's butt implants got Bundlefly'd into one ungodly creature.

Someone call in Geena Davis with a shotgun to put this poor monster out of its misery.

 

[Synthwave]

OMG notice me senpai! How pathetic. Tess creaming herself over Dolly on Tiktok.

 

[Snack Cracker]

OMG notice me senpai! How pathetic. Tess creaming herself over Dolly on Tiktok.
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Dolly is such a sweet person, she would probably tell Tess “bless your heart” (a lovely little bit of southern shade) but wouldn’t call her a hamplanet outright even though Dolly does WORK to look as good as she does at her age.
I get her obsession with Ms Piggy because yes, but the Dolly one…..why?
Did she miss the part about Dolly being a genuinely lovely and selfless person under the giant hair and boobs?

 

[taintmisbehavin]

Lots of people have been marvelling at the Daily Mail photoshoot.

Posting it with some neutral words is so much more effective than saying 'look at this disgusting fat bitch', because even a serial killer can look like a nice guy if you don't have the headline 'raped and dismembered ten women', but Tess' photos speak a thousand pounds

https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1442280432561623043

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By “victim of a society that punishes larger people” does she mean her ass was too fat for the Pirates of the Caribbean boat?

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Did she miss the part about Dolly being a genuinely lovely and selfless person under the giant hair and boobs?

You assume Ryann is self-aware enough to realise she isn't a lovely and selfless person. This is, after all, the fatso who thinks she has anorexia because she skipped a meal once and felt a bit hungry.

 

[Gay Mouth]

Speaking of Dolly, you think Tess is teaching Bowie how to read? even if it takes a lot of patience, you can and absolutely should teach your kids to read around 4, it’s a huge leg up for the rest of their lives and usually gives them above average reading comprehension. And Dolly is passionate about raising southern white trash children out of ignorance.

Wait who am I kidding Tess can barely read herself and let her son shit in a diaper til age 5

ETA: @Free the Pedos

Yeah that’s what I meant, worded it weird

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I read somewhere (it may have been here) that Dolly makes a point of being photographed with fans that have tattoos of her, but she's heard about the controversies that follow Tess, and keeps far, far away from her.

 

[Free the Pedos]

And Dolly is passionate about raising southern white trash children out of ignorance.

Do you mean Tess is? Dolly is famous for her charity that distributes books to kids.

 

[Cripple]

Lots of people have been marvelling at the Daily Mail photoshoot.

Posting it with some neutral words is so much more effective than saying 'look at this disgusting fat bitch', because even a serial killer can look like a nice guy if you don't have the headline 'raped and dismembered ten women', but Tess' photos speak a thousand pounds

https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1442280432561623043

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SUPERMODEL

 

[NoReturn]

Oh, sorry guys, I guess I was wrong Ryannnnnn is totally NOT MAD you guys. She's a hot and cool superwaddle who is like, super confident and totally not reading this thread and we are all just hadurs.

Spoiler: The delusion

 

[Local Fed]

Oh, sorry guys, I guess I was wrong Ryannnnnn is totally NOT MAD you guys. She's a hot and cool superwaddle who is like, super confident and totally not reading this thread and we are all just hadurs.
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Spoiler: The delusion

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>it's almost like eating disorders were thought patterns and behaviours, not a body type
>behaviours
>not a body type
Claiming to be anorexic while getting fatter and flaunting around your food really says something about your behaviours and thought patterns, and your body type is clearly not the result of anorexia. How many anorexics get EVEN MORE obese?

 

[FarmerKhourtney]

“Thought patterns” instead of a body type.

 

[Water-T]

>it's almost like eating disorders were thought patterns and behaviours, not a body type
>behaviours
>not a body type
Claiming to be anorexic while getting fatter and flaunting around your food really says something about your behaviours and thought patterns, and your body type is clearly not the result of anorexia. How many anorexics get EVEN MORE obese?

What? You mean anorexics DON'T flaunt all the candy and ice cream they shovel down on their IG, or make videos of themselves consuming a whole jar of M & M s?

 

[NoReturn]

How many anorexics get EVEN MORE obese?

Only the ones with actual medical disorders, which just makes Tess' behavior all the more disgusting.

Spoiler: Sad

 

[Commas & Ampersands]

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Twitter Commenter: The supermodel recently opened up about her battle with anorexia.
Also Twitter Commenter: *Posts picture of Tess looking massive while eating a popsicle.*

 

[Guntzilla]

Tess Holiday: SDW
Social Donut Warrior

 

[Oscar Winner]

Edit: would probably help if I wrote something but everything is in the spoiler and I'm too (mobilefag) lazy to change it.

Spoiler: What is it this time?!

I just want to start by saying, if you crop this photo a bit and cut her head off, this is what I predict she will look like from a front profile in a few months time. Just a few more cakes and kilos should do it.

We saw this photo earlier, in the comments she said she was absolutely freezing

so of course the smart thing to do is take your jacket off and pose for fat-tabulous photos while you're not dying from obesity

Matching fupas on fupas on her arms

Looking at how far down her arm the shoulder seam is, that's a massivly oversized hoodie. If she stood with her arms out, it'd look like a tent, even on her.

Which leads me to wonder, what goal is she referring to specifically? Looking like that? Looking like that at 73? Making it to 73? All of these are a little overambitious.

Checking things off her (kick the) bucket list. There was also a video of this. Panning the scenery, keeping her head in shot, eye fucking herself the whole time. Tick that off the list, done.

Another video for the other bucket list. Tess posing as a cum bucket scouting for work again.
(I'm sorry, that is absolutely revolting. She's just so incredibly foul)

Spoiler: Trauma Recovery

OT - please enjoy tiny bb tortie and feel better

 

[Gay Mouth]

This “glad I got to see this glacier before I died of ObEiSiTy” post will go down as her most iconic. She’s bigger than ever, less human shaped all the time, fupas on fupas. Seething while eating a strawberry doesn’t prove a thing or change her weight. She is straight up going to die from obesity, very probably before she turns 50, before Bowie enters his 20s.

Look how much weight she’s gained since she had Bowie. She can’t even blame it on baby weight. I remember she bitched and moaned about body image and how she suffered low self esteem because she was uncomfortable and bigger than ever while pregnant- hilarious as her baby was indistinguishable under the food baby. She would kill now to look the way she did while pregnant.

And hey Tess, since you’re reading this- if you do, through God’s infinitely mysterious sense of humor, make it past 50; and you feel vindicated and powerful that the haters were wrong- you’ll die shortly after that. And then you’ll be roasted like a pig in hell for all eternity for your gluttony and pride. Your vanity is being tortured now on earth, that skin babe...

 

[Umaibae]

Whatever happened to that arm fat removal surgery Two Ton said she was getting??