Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 378 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 392 14.7%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.9%

  • Total voters
    2,658
Whatever happened to that arm fat removal surgery Two Ton said she was getting??
It's expensive, not covered by insurance or medicaid, and no feeder will sponsor something that turns the experience for them.

No cosmetic surgeon would take her on due to the risk of complications or death during anesthesia. And her expectations for lipo are unrealistic - they could suck out maybe 2-3 pounds per arm maximum, which would hardly make a difference. And she can't afford lipo anyway. And she'd just eat the weight back in a few days while she was recovering.
 
She is straight up going to die from obesity, very probably before she turns 50, before Bowie enters his 20s.
As cruel as this is to say, that would be a blessing. It would allow Bowie to live a free life in his 20s, to find himself and make new friends. The alternative is being his mother's ass-wiper, and that's just... no. Poor thing deserves better.
 
As cruel as this is to say, that would be a blessing. It would allow Bowie to live a free life in his 20s, to find himself and make new friends. The alternative is being his mother's ass-wiper, and that's just... no. Poor thing deserves better.
BOWEH, MAMA CHANGED YUR DIAPERS FER SEVEN YEARS, TAHM TO RETURN THE FAVER
 
The arm surgery was so odd to bring up at all, particularly on a podcast. It's obvious that only some shady cut-rate doctor, likely outside of the US, would even attempt to perform such a thing, the kind of doctor who leaves patients to die from infection or blood clots. And there's no way the results would be attractive or significant under the best of circumstances.

I wonder where Tess even got the idea about such a procedure and why her own fat-choked brain optimistically thought it was remotely a possibility for her. Liposuction is really meant for normal, relatively fit people who want spot reduction for stubborn pockets of fat. Tess's arms are absolutely freakish; there's no quick fix for them. She is so dumb.
 
Whatever happened to that arm fat removal surgery Two Ton said she was getting??

It's expensive, not covered by insurance or medicaid, and no feeder will sponsor something that turns the experience for them.

No cosmetic surgeon would take her on due to the risk of complications or death during anesthesia. And her expectations for lipo are unrealistic - they could suck out maybe 2-3 pounds per arm maximum, which would hardly make a difference. And she can't afford lipo anyway. And she'd just eat the weight back in a few days while she was recovering.
And it’ll fuck up her tattoos; like hell Mess would let a surgeon touch her notice-me-senpai idol Dolly.
 
Liposuction is really meant for normal, relatively fit people who want spot reduction for stubborn pockets of fat. Tess's arms are absolutely freakish; there's no quick fix for them. She is so dumb.
It's a common misconception that fat is 1. All the same and 2. A jello-like-substance that just hangs out under the skin and can be sucked out with the magical liposuction machine.
I would not be surprised in the slightest if this is how Tess thinks of it.
 
It's a common misconception that fat is 1. All the same and 2. A jello-like-substance that just hangs out under the skin and can be sucked out with the magical liposuction machine.
I would not be surprised in the slightest if this is how Tess thinks of it.
Lol, yes, and the best lipo candidates are essentially the opposite of Tess in every way:
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Simple. #Effyourbeautystandards doesn’t apply to fashion, makeup, trends, hairstyling, nails, plastic surgery, or Botox. It just means she wants to be a fat fuck and still be thought of as sexual. It’s an experiment playing out before our eyes, and as she gets more turgid and slovenly and feels the pain of her fat body, it’s proving to be a failed experiment.
 
I’d bet $50 Tess never had an abortion after Bowie, but would have faked a pregnancy and abortion to guilt Nick. Seems like the perfect BPD drama guilt bomb when her and Nick were splitting up or he was packing to GTFO for Australia.

Whatever else those Aussie leaks did, it proved Tess is still obsessed with Nick and wants to control him. Lol at Tess paying for his phone bill so she can monitor him thousands of miles away. (I’d also bet it was done so he didn’t have an excuse for not responding to her texts/calls/)
 
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I love how reading this thread makes me a little bit kinder to myself lol.

Even thin people feel gross and bloated if they eat trash over the weekend or have a lot of salty food. You might have trouble zipping your pants for, like, a day or two until the water retention goes away. And even though it’s temporary, it feels SO fucking terrible to be lugging that small amount of water weight around.

If thin people feel like landwhales after one “cheat weekend,” I can’t imagine what it feels like to be lugging 300+ extra pounds around all day, every day — and why you’d willingly allow yourself to keep doing so. I can’t get over how miserable Two Ton looks in those Disneyland photos. Living her glamorous suppahmoddle life, indeed. Nothing says “glamour” like a beet-red moonface and ill-fitting shorts.

I know, I know. I’m looking for logic in Deathfats, the defiers supreme of all logic in the universe. But for real — living this sort of existence has to be so mentally/physically taxing. It’s a waste of a life.
 
Gave her lipo - still fat lol

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The beach photo was found in this article from July 2019. They look to be the ones the Enquirer used for their recent article (they did not choose the worst photo)

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowb...s-plunging-swimsuit-frolics-waters-beach.html

It's a goldmine of terrible photos and the usual Tess bullshit, such as claiming delayed PPD 18 months or so after Bowie was born, and driving over two hours, three days a week to work out, which apparently shows commitment. She also stated she felt guilty for eating better and taking care of herself more... must be why she stopped, lol

The next article I found down the rabbit hole was from January 2020 where Tess describes Rylees father as a one night stand, mentions that Nick has fucked off back to Australia - but won't talk about it, and fist-fucks Rylees feelings by admitting she didn't bond with him, or feel maternal towards him until he was a toddler. That article can be found here:


I found this photo of Tess that aside from the tattoos, looks nothing like her. It won't let me read the article without subscribing to emails, so fuck that. Here's the URL if you want to try your luck:


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Saving the best for last, I found this delicious piece from September 2019. It's so amazingly scornful that I wonder if it was written by a fellow Kiwi. Enjoy xx <3

 
Gave her lipo - still fat lol

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The beach photo was found in this article from July 2019. They look to be the ones the Enquirer used for their recent article (they did not choose the worst photo)

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowb...s-plunging-swimsuit-frolics-waters-beach.html

It's a goldmine of terrible photos and the usual Tess bullshit, such as claiming delayed PPD 18 months or so after Bowie was born, and driving over two hours, three days a week to work out, which apparently shows commitment. She also stated she felt guilty for eating better and taking care of herself more... must be why she stopped, lol

The next article I found down the rabbit hole was from January 2020 where Tess describes Rylees father as a one night stand, mentions that Nick has fucked off back to Australia - but won't talk about it, and fist-fucks Rylees feelings by admitting she didn't bond with him, or feel maternal towards him until he was a toddler. That article can be found here:


I found this photo of Tess that aside from the tattoos, looks nothing like her. It won't let me read the article without subscribing to emails, so fuck that. Here's the URL if you want to try your luck:


View attachment 2579456

Saving the best for last, I found this delicious piece from September 2019. It's so amazingly scornful that I wonder if it was written by a fellow Kiwi. Enjoy xx <3

She can’t truly be body positive if she can’t even love her own body like she tries so hard to brag about and cling on to. She was so upset about her post partum body, but doesn’t get upset about her post excessive weight gain body we see now. All these styling tricks to make herself feel better about… herself… and to trick people into thinking she’s smaller than she is, until the puffy hair flattens out again and her extreme contouring is wiped off. She has too many issues and problems that she makes in her own head, I don’t know how anyone could believe this other than, themselves being super delusional.
 
Like it's just her arms that are a problem.
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They were always larger, but weren't as bad. They've just gotten ginormous with the rest of her.

ETA- how does surgery fit in with effyourbeautystandards?
Is Tess sporting an armpit-vagina just like Jude? Kind of looks like it. The wonders and miracles of fat distribution.
 
Tessy is still going on about the paparazzi photos of her at Disney. Funny enough, she posted some candid photos that I haven’t seen posted here so I went searching and found some goodies.

IG post-
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sorry about sizing on these I’m on mobile and screenshot these from random news sites

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Tessy is still going on about the paparazzi photos of her at Disney. Funny enough, she posted some candid photos that I haven’t seen posted here so I went searching and found some goodies.

IG post-
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sorry about sizing on these I’m on mobile and screenshot these from random news sites

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So the anorexic had a popsicle, ice cream sandwich and what looks to be popcorn while sitting at the same place. I assume she ate all these things around the same time.

There’s also no way she walked for miles in those shorts with those thighs rubbing together. Unless she reapplied the thigh butter every 5 minutes or so.
 
Tessy is still going on about the paparazzi photos of her at Disney. Funny enough, she posted some candid photos that I haven’t seen posted here so I went searching and found some goodies.

IG post-
View attachment 2580354View attachment 2580352

sorry about sizing on these I’m on mobile and screenshot these from random news sites

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What a fucking whiner. No one even paid attention to those stupid articles which is why she's really upset. Also, what adult eats TWO types of ice cream in a single day?

And I see Tess had Jolene come down from Oakland to "assist" her at Disney, rather than be stuck watching her own son for the day.

Moral of the story is that she is fat and had a miserable time at Disneyland because of it, despite eating load to junk food and sitting on her ass for most of the day and having a nanny in tow to go on the rides with Bowie.
 
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