Prison Letters Chris writes me from Prison (dated September 19th, 2021)

[Guinan's hats]

Jesus (Chris)t, how was this a show?

And how is this experience gonna help that young Timothy McVeigh with his racism problem

 

[RainwaterDrop]

Jesus (Chris)t, how was this a show?

And how is this experience gonna help that young Timothy McVeigh with his racism problem

If it's about intimidating retarded teens into setting themselves straight, it would have worked with me lol!

I wouldn't share a cell with that big angry guy if you paid me a million to do it for a week!

He stopped doing the Tupperware full of jizz YEARS ago. He only did it because the dumbass didn't understand how sperm donation/sperm freezing worked. He got them mixed up when a supposed lesbian couple named Samantha and Ellie were looking for a donor to help them conceive a child a Chris saw this as an opportunity to get crystal born via surrogate mothers.

The whole thing about Chris is, no matter how bad things go, he always manages to shit up the place more! Like with the Jesus shit in prison, and that too! Fuck me sideways...

 

[Wormy]

Jesus (Chris)t, how was this a show?

And how is this experience gonna help that young Timothy McVeigh with his racism problem

Oh that's easy to answer; it appeals to a very primitive emotion. It's the modern version of cutting off the hands of thieves in the town square. Put these kids up as snotty irredeemable shits with slick production and editing, and watch them get taken down a peg. It tickles a dopamine trigger deep in us. If you can exploit it, people will pay attention and cheer. Even if you know how manufactured and staged so much of it is, you can't help but find yourself going "Yea, you show that little shit!" at times. Heed the words of Mr. Plinkett, you may not have noticed it, but your brain did.

 

[Rain Team Pepe]

I wonder if Chris(t) will get himself a Sonichu on the cross tatoo on his chest,
Or will his cell get tossed because they think he’a manufacturing a shiv, but it’s just a toothpaste Sonichu Medalion hid up his buttcrack.

 

[Kabuki Actor]

Hey fuck you, I moved on from Chris and became a better Kiwi for it. There's more to this site than the Tard Pope.

The Warhol question was answered three times, definitely more, in this thread. You only have to lurk this one thread instead of doing a reddit karma speedrun.

 

[Slavic Insider]

He stopped doing the Tupperware full of jizz YEARS ago.

I had no idea he was that disgusting.

 

[Duke Nukem]

I had no idea he was that disgusting.

There is no bottom floor with people like Chris.

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

Instead of being in a cell with Jim the Nazi who killed 12 men he will be put in a cell with Bob the white collar criminal.

Cruel and unusual punishment for poor ol’ Bob.

 

[GypsyBard]

I don't know if this has been covered or not but who was the letter sent to? He asks the receiver to forward it to his lawyer and to null so I had to go to someone besides them.

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

I wonder if Chris(t) will get himself a Sonichu on the cross tatoo on his chest,

Since there’s no chance he’ll be allowed to keep the Holy Medallion in prison, he should just have one tattooed on to his neck and chest.

 

[12 Year Old Lurker]

I don't know if this has been covered or not but who was the letter sent to? He asks the receiver to forward it to his lawyer and to null so I had to go to someone besides them.

i hope to god whoever sent it to them didn't decide to take a peek. imagine being given a seemingly harmless letter and seeing that the guy who wrote it genuinely thinks he's Jesus H. Christ

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

I don't know if this has been covered or not but who was the letter sent to? He asks the receiver to forward it to his lawyer and to null so I had to go to someone besides them.

Marvin or the captain maybe? However I don't know if Chris has a direct line of contact with them anymore or if they even cared enough to pass it onto Null.

 

[Some Manajerk]

Clearly, Chris used his dimensional powers to get his hands on a copy of the Wicked Bible("Thou Shalt commit Adultery")

Little was it known that there was a second typo in that print run, replacing "Honor thy mother and father" with "Honor thy mother and fuck her"

 

[DiggieSmalls]

He stopped doing the Tupperware full of jizz YEARS ago. He only did it because the dumbass didn't understand how sperm donation/sperm freezing worked. He got them mixed up when a supposed lesbian couple named Samantha and Ellie were looking for a donor to help them conceive a child a Chris saw this as an opportunity to get crystal born via surrogate mothers.

I say supposed because I'm fairly certain like a lot of things in his life Sam and Ellie where trolls trying to see what dumbass shit they could get Chris to do this time, especially since the story ends when they told Chris they weren't interested in his defective tard sperm and we're instead going for some french male porn star to be their donor. That sounds like something only trolls in the swansong days of trolling Chris could come up with.

Edit found the cwicki link it was trolls messing with him...againhttps://sonichu.com/cwcki/Sam_and_Ellen

What’s hilarious, he could have potentially impregnated a reasonably attractive girl who actually wanted to have sex with him. But he saw the opportunity to fuck his geriatric mom and flipped the deuces on ever getting to smash.
The second cumming of Jesus came in barbussy

 

[Bixby Snyder]

Not sure if it came up yet, but how hilarious and fucked up would it be if he got an STD from Barb?

 

[Happy Fish]

God is probably the only friend Chris has left. I don't think blasphemy is the right course of action.

 

[Nobue]

Not sure if it came up yet, but how hilarious and fucked up would it be if he got an STD from Barb?

If he got herpes, do you think he'd keep picking at it?

 

[BrotherMan]

Have to frame it on a wall beside the kiwifarms chris chan coin. No turning back now.

 

[cow-wannabe]

Come on @Null, in your new role as Judas give us a song...

"Every time I look at you I don't have a clue
Why you merged together Sonic and Picachu
You'd have done okay if you'd gone to special school
But instead the internet it raised you on its 34th rule

"Jesus christ
Weston-Chan
Are you a hedgehog, pony, woman or man?

Jesus Christ
Sonichu
What are you? What did you & barb really do?

Don't you get us wrong / Don't you get us wrong / Don't you get us wrong / Don't you get us wrong now.
Cause we only want to know / Cause we only want to know / Cause we only want to know /Cause we only want to know.

With a boyfriend-free girl then would it have turned out okay?
Would you still have disliked the black-folks and still hated teh gey?
Would you have got so trolled if Megan's china got played?
Or would the batshit sex-pest d-merge still be happenin' today?

"Jesus christ
Weston-Chan
are you a hedgehog, pony, woman or man?

Jesus Christ
Sonichu
Who are you? What did you & barb really do?

Don't you get us wrong / Don't you get us wrong / Don't you get us wrong / Don't you get us wrong now.
Cause we only want to know / Cause we only want to know / Cause we only want to know /Cause we only want to know.

WE ONLY WANT TO KNOOOOW"

 

[Eichsterd123]

loos like chris might end up destroying his lawyers career