Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Jesus, shouldn’t the fact they can’t WALK properly without their skin chaffing raw be a wake up call to fatties? Horrifying you have to rub mollusk mucus near your crotch to get through the day, but here’s hoping Tess starts shilling yeasty diabetic grey leg skin cream. “Y’all I am so excited, to, be partnering with, this ameezing, new product. It smells SO good, and, feels, so soft, and, luxurious” (I’ve noticed she can’t even speak in full sentences, her fat addled brain can’t keep her train of thought and she has to pause to breathe every other word)
*cut to her smearing product on her unidentifiable lovecraftian stumps, horror cut back to her puffy alkie face*

The lotion was something I bought out of morbid curiosity. It just happened to be sitting in a basket of meds/bandaids/etc. next to my bed and I was desperate. Had no expectations and it exceeded them. Used it once and the issue cleared up overnight. I've never found myself having to reapply continuously. But yeah, I'm sill half a Tess at not even 5'2" and know I need to lose a good 80-100lbs. It scares me the amount of "thin privilege" I benefit from according to the FA community.

 

[Law]

The lotion was something I bought out of morbid curiosity. It just happened to be sitting in a basket of meds/bandaids/etc. next to my bed and I was desperate. Had no expectations and it exceeded them. Used it once and the issue cleared up overnight. I've never found myself having to reapply continuously. But yeah, I'm sill half a Tess at not even 5'2" and know I need to lose a good 80-100lbs. It scares me the amount of "thin privilege" I benefit from according to the FA community.

Everytime you make a post that's off-topic, do 10 push-ups. The weight will fly right off!

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Everytime you make a post that's off-topic, do 10 push-ups. The weight will fly right off!

Implying I am capable of doing a pushup.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

I weigh approximately half a Tess

I'm sill half a Tess at not even 5'2"

Weighing *half* that of a fucking elephant instead of a whole entire elephant is still fat as hell. Imagine thinking that’s some kind of flex. Nobody gives a shit that you stuff your face somewhat less than Tess. That should be a baseline expectation for humanity.

Buying snail shit cream for friction burns you wouldn’t have to treat if you hadn’t eaten yourself into obesity is shameful. You should be ashamed of yourself. Gluttony is a vice whether you’re as fat as Tess or not. If you think we’re going to cheer you on and make this all about how you’re better than Tess you’re dead wrong and should probably just go back to Facebook.

ANYWAY. That strawberry slicing video is enraging because she’s very subtly implying that she would portion it out much like an anorexic might. You know as soon as she turned off the camera, Tess shoved two or three whole strawberries in her maw at once. I wonder if she saved any for Bowie or if she *stole* them like she did his Disney ice cream.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Weighing *half* that of a fucking elephant instead of a whole entire elephant is still fat as hell. Imagine thinking that’s some kind of flex. Nobody gives a shit that you stuff your face somewhat less than Tess. That should be a baseline expectation for humanity.

Buying snail shit cream for friction burns you wouldn’t have to treat if you hadn’t eaten yourself into obesity is shameful. You should be ashamed of yourself. Gluttony is a vice whether you’re as fat as Tess or not. If you think we’re going to cheer you on and make this all about how you’re better than Tess you’re dead wrong and should probably just go back to Facebook.

ANYWAY. That strawberry slicing video is enraging because she’s very subtly implying that she would portion it out much like an anorexic might. You know as soon as she turned off the camera, Tess shoved two or three whole strawberries in her maw at once. I wonder if she saved any for Bowie or if she *stole* them like she did his Disney ice cream.

You alright, bro? Never said I was better than anyone. I said I'm "only" half a Tess and even I know I'm fucked down the line if I don't lose weight. The delusional HAES crowd baffle me. The fact that I'm "thin" by their standards is terrifying.

I just found it interesting that something I bought out of sheer morbid curiosity turned out to be useful in some way.

 

[hateful entity]

You alright, bro? Never said I was better than anyone. I said I'm "only" half a Tess and even I know I'm fucked down the line if I don't lose weight. The delusional HAES crowd baffle me. The fact that I'm "thin" by their standards is terrifying.

I just found it interesting that something I bought out of sheer morbid curiosity turned out to be useful in some way.

Nobody cares about your personal life, stop powerleveling you fat retard.

 

[multiverse]

You alright, bro? Never said I was better than anyone. I said I'm "only" half a Tess and even I know I'm fucked down the line if I don't lose weight. The delusional HAES crowd baffle me. The fact that I'm "thin" by their standards is terrifying.

Stop powerleveling, derailing the thread, and making posts about yourself. This isn't the place.

Back on topic, the reason Tess hired a whole hair and makeup team yesterday was for a lame paid post. Way to budget your limited funds, Ryann.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Stop powerleveling, derailing the thread, and making posts about yourself. This isn't the place.

Back on topic, the reason Tess hired a whole hair and makeup team yesterday was for a lame paid post. Way to budget your limited funds, Ryann.
View attachment 2583386View attachment 2583387

That just looks like the back of a comically oversized receipt she found while cleaning out her purse.

 

[one_time_user]

She loves that people criticize her weight, every time people come for her hypocrisy, terrible mothering, T shirt scam, racist tokenizing, floundering career, prostitution or chronic shameless lying, she has a meltdown and eats a strawberry to redirect the criticism to her weight. The fact being overweight is an outward, obvious sign you lack self control and are incontinent, doesn’t matter to her because she can call her haters mean.

Jesus, shouldn’t the fact they can’t WALK properly without their skin chaffing raw be a wake up call to fatties? Horrifying you have to rub mollusk mucus near your crotch to get through the day, but here’s hoping Tess starts shilling yeasty diabetic grey leg skin cream. “Y’all I am so excited, to, be partnering with, this ameezing, new product. It smells SO good, and, feels, so soft, and, luxurious” (I’ve noticed she can’t even speak in full sentences, her fat addled brain can’t keep her train of thought and she has to pause to breathe every other word)
*cut to her smearing product on her unidentifiable lovecraftian stumps, horror cut back to her puffy alkie face*

Whether someone's thighs rub together is dependent on how their hips are set. There are skinny people who don't have thigh gap and their legs rub and slightly heavier people witg thigh gap. Of course, we'll never know if her legs would rub if she were normal sized because no one her size has a gap.

 

[HexBawxUno]

That paper Tess is holding needs to say “STOP. you’ve had enough”.

 

[melty]

So her response to the daily mail publishing "unfair" photos of her looking tired and eating is.. to publish more unflattering photos of her looking tired and eating? The last one of her standing with Bowie is the only one that looks normal. I'm just surprised she didn't do the normal fatty tactic of claiming the popsicle was the only thing she ate all day and she had to have it cause her sugars were too low after brutally starving herself. God bless the daily mail.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

If Tulas' skincare is the reason she looks so greasy all the time, I will pass on their products.

She comes for Estee Lauder though, I will cut a bitch.

 

[Constellationzero]

That wedgie photo is art. Art, I say! The pose, the single tumbling ringlet, the dainty point of the lifted foot, the bits in the sand that look like dogshit... truly this paparazzi missed his calling in the fine arts.
View attachment 2582739
I call it "The Dance".
Tess, you have my permission to get this printed and framed.

She looks like she released a turd on the floor at the supermarket and is about to kick it aside...just like in the LiveLeak videos.

 

[DoorPost101]

The lotion was something I bought out of morbid curiosity. It just happened to be sitting in a basket of meds/bandaids/etc. next to my bed and I was desperate. Had no expectations and it exceeded them. Used it once and the issue cleared up overnight. I've never found myself having to reapply continuously. But yeah, I'm sill half a Tess at not even 5'2" and know I need to lose a good 80-100lbs. It scares me the amount of "thin privilege" I benefit from according to the FA community.

Hi new Farmer. Just as a heads up, it's not really appropriate to share embarrassing things about yourself even if it seems relevant. (And yes, we're in the deathfats section, so admitting to being a deathfat - the thing we are all actively mocking - is pretty embarrassing.) Tess is fat, we've read enough about deathfats to know what chub rub is about, you don't need to share any specifics about yourself to make that point. Your stay on the Farms will be much more pleasant if you keep this in mind.

There's some dailymail and other beach photos that I can't remember if they were posted here before or not.

Avert your eyes if you're easily squeamish. That's not healthy skin.
View attachment 2582624

Bonus wedgie photo!

What is causing that darkening of the skin on the inner thighs, lower asscheeks like that?!

 

[bloomingcactus]

What is causing that darkening of the skin on the inner thighs, lower asscheeks like that?!

My best guess is some kind of yeast infection. Similar to jock itch or athletes foot. If you don't keep clean or are unable to, cracks and crevices stay damp and stuff grows. It can cause thickening or darkening of the skin. Especially with the friction in that area.

She must sweat a lot. Plus her "exercise" of choice, hot yoga. She also seems to wear tight clothing all the time. Non breathable polyester blends. Keeps the sweat in. She would have to keep the areas dry, use powder or antifungal cream. Wear cotton and breathable fabrics.

Most of all loose weight and get rid of the extra skin. But we all know that's not happening. I'm going to go wash my brain with bleach now.

 

[Helvetica]

What is causing that darkening of the skin on the inner thighs, lower asscheeks like that?!

hyperpigmentation in the thigh area is a thing for some people, usually because of chafing. seeing as this is Tess we're talking about, the fact that she's so disgustingly obese means her thighs probably chafe like hell. diabetes and pre-diabetes can cause it too, usually in different areas like the neck, but it's not unheard of for it to pop up on the thighs/legs, so that could be contributing as well.

there are scrubs, creams, etc. that can reverse it, but the best thing she could do is lose weight but we all know that's not happening

 

[Angry New Ager]

Hi new Farmer. Just as a heads up, it's not really appropriate to share embarrassing things about yourself even if it seems relevant. (And yes, we're in the deathfats section, so admitting to being a deathfat - the thing we are all actively mocking - is pretty embarrassing.) Tess is fat, we've read enough about deathfats to know what chub rub is about, you don't need to share any specifics about yourself to make that point. Your stay on the Farms will be much more pleasant if you keep this in mind.

In other words, lurk more, faggot.

What is causing that darkening of the skin on the inner thighs, lower asscheeks like that?!

That's what happens when skin is constantly subjected to friction and pressure. We saw it in Chantal, back when she was still wearing pants with too-tight waistbands, and had a discolored line around her waist (which has gone away now that she wears leggings and dresses all the time now). Super-obese women always have darkened skin in their crotch and between their upper thighs, as well as the big folds under the gunt, for this reason.

 

[bussarin555]

Implying I am capable of doing a pushup.

 

[NoReturn]

Spoiler

Side note: I found a miracle cure for chub rub in some snail slime face cream I bought off Wish. It is a godsend.

Probably too expensive to get enough for Ryann.

---

Tessy Time
Here's the ad by itself:

The products:

Tess' "kit"

Spoiler: Instagram vids

 

[Darth_Texan]

So her response to the daily mail publishing "unfair" photos of her looking tired and eating is.. to publish more unflattering photos of her looking tired and eating? The last one of her standing with Bowie is the only one that looks normal. I'm just surprised she didn't do the normal fatty tactic of claiming the popsicle was the only thing she ate all day and she had to have it cause her sugars were too low after brutally starving herself. God bless the daily mail.

Late, but the only reason the Daily Mail only published photos of her eating was because all she did all day was EAT!