The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Old Fart]

In a rare turn of events, Kevin's tweets are actually relevant to the tranch!
Yesterday he tweeted this [Archive]:
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Spoiler: Large.

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Just for a sec, consider the tragic underachiever that would proudly describe this shit-sty as a 'closet'. First, those rails are sagging worse than troon moobs. Second, autism and filth on every surface; no woman stores her clothes rubbing up against power tools and transformers. Lastly, denim and industrial synthetics don't benefit from being hung and certainly not next to a window, dum dums.

Christ on raft, he had to wait months for something he and one of the other useless twats on the Ranch could have put up within a few hours? With a piece of steel pipe that doesn't sag from a DIY store or a metal dump?

They're not only not women, their sheer incompetence is an insult to any woman I know.

 

[DemonicMustache]

Christ on raft, he had to wait months for something he and one of the other useless twats on the Ranch could have put up within a few hours? With a piece of steel pipe that doesn't sag from a DIY store or a metal dump?

They're not only not women, their sheer incompetence is an insult to any woman I know.

Why couldn't he have done it. It's not hard. Lazy.

 

[Meiwaku]

I find it interesting that the resignation note is a lot more coherent than her tweets. It's almost normal, not mention of the alleged abuse, but just stating that she can't hack it anymore. People have ghosted with worse excuses and ruder letters.

If this is how she talks and acts around the parents, I can understand how she got hired and how she is still employed. She can turn the crazy off and on to a certain extent. What do the psych-kiwis think of that?

(catching up reading but I saw my calling card here)

SO the fact that she can turn it off and on is BIG thing. People who are legitimately in their own fantasy world or TRULY believe everything they're saying really can't turn it off. We have lolcows who fit this level of all gas no breaks unfiltered WILD behavior (the best example is beloved Skitzcow Naru/ Naruhide.)

This would lead one to believe she is in more control than the says she is. This kind of goes with the timeline of hospitalized then somehow likely ended up diagnosed on tiktok for attention. This can be a manipulative behavior as you can play it off as mental illness but it's actually just being a dick....


Also top fucking kek an actual woman is gonna be the maid/tard wrangler. It's also funny af to me that pic of her and bonnie is literally the happiest I've ever seen Bonnie. Also I love how Bonnie isn't asexual for her kek...

She is a ciswoman but identifies as a nonbinary gender fluid plural system who's primary alter is a transman.


Kindness sperg'd about her resignation. Another strange thing about Kindness that you may have noticed, is that her videos are frequently 2:19 or 2:20. Why? Dunno.
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Bonnie and Kindness spent the night playing pedophile dress-up games aka going into "little space."

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Also in this video "my boss being jealous" jealous of what sis....the fact you breastfed them? which is gross because you're unable to provide nutrients....

Also ofc she's an adult baby... this type of behavior is called "regression" in which someone wants to escape adult responsibilities or age-appropriate responsibilities by regressing to an earlier age. An adult person being addicted to video games is an example of regression so is this lol. It's a coping mechanism and not the WORST one but definitely the most cringe. (note: the worst coping behaviors are along the lines of an hero or self-mutilation)

 

[Iron Hamster]

The only way to even gradually
improve it is to get rid of all the animals.

But then what do you do about the alpaca?

 

[AMHOLIO]

Compliments from the penis gallery, insincere or just incompetent?

Incompetent. Most troons are young or never had to do jack shit for themselves. There's no malice, just stupidity.

Bonus disability LARP as a warm send off. [X]

I wonder what he went on to? And why he left? I mean, he is super self absorbed so maybe he wasn't happy not being the center of attention (I.e. too much tranch competition).

Why couldn't he have done it. It's not hard. Lazy.

Kevin would probably say it was because he's baby or some shit. He'd have a panic attack handling power tools with his danity girl hands and would cry forever if he messed up mistress' house. He's one of the worst of the tranchers farming wise because he genuinely does not want to do anything (he stated his dream job is no job and that's what he has right now) and my god will he not be assed to learn (because learning is haaaaard and he wants to be taken care of). I'd say Penny would need to make him get off his ass more, but this would cause Kevin to scream abuse and cry and so on.

At this point I just want a fire so those transformers have peace in the afterlife instead of the closet. Free them.

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

Why couldn't they just get some garment racks on wheels for their rooms? You could shove it against a wall and wheel it out when you need access to the clothes. It would actually take up less space than this set up. Any more clothing on those rods and they are going to snap. Plus, good luck getting to the stuff on the other side of the clothing. Or having to sleep in that "room".

It would have made much more sense to move those shelves with Kev's toys to the wall with the window. Then they could have installed double clothing rods on the longest wall in the room.

I feel like they are just a couple of years away from being featured on a hoarders episode. Kev keeps consooming and there is literally no more space to put his plastic crap.

 

[Disastrously Dumb]

I cant help but feel that these people are just overly horny deviants who created a community out of their sex cult
though perhaps the only different thing is that they might be the first sex cult in recent years that involved animals.

unless im mistaken.

 

[Particle Bored]

Lol she was acting like it was totally innocent and not sexual at first and then straight up admitted they were going to have sex in that bathroom. That's why she yelled at you!! That's a very reasonable reaction when 2 of your customers are blatantly trying to fuck in your establishment

Guessing they were also not-too-subtly gibbering and giggling about said fingerbanging at their table prior to approaching the bathroom. 50/50 on whether the "hardcore flirting" included any insinuation that the waitress join them.

These two photos give a nice illustration of what their "ranch" has done to the land.


BEFORE (from the real estate listings prior to their arrival)

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AFTER (same area)


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There is literally no way back for that place now. They have built their own personal desert. Its also really clear why they have such bad manure
problems. Its because the land & soil is effectively dead. There is going to be no way to "restore" it or do much of anything. The only way to even gradually
improve it is to get rid of all the animals.

Thoughts of a 3-panel comic:

• Panel 1: Audience watching speaker. Banner above says 'Alpaca Farming Seminar.' Speaker saying "...and that's why we limit the number of alpacas per acre."
• Panel 2: Same scene. Speaker saying "...and that's why we rotate grazing."
• Panel 3: Three-story-tall industrial mining dump truck emblazoned 'TRANCH' pouring 1000 alpacas in giant pile spilling over property line.

 

[Trianon]

Instead of donating or making burritos out of their dead alpacas they could always bury them in the cracked earth and plant grass in a last-ditch attempt to revitalize it. Buy some earthworms, splash some water; you know, something. Anything?
It's not your hairline, it can be restored.

Kindness could use her dead rats as a sacrifice to appease the Colorado gods and restore the earth.

 

[The Final Troondown]

The fabled triple post holy shit

it's because these threads move so fucking fast, by the time I've read through 20+ pages I've seen enough shit to comment on and going back and editing it into one post is just far too much effort after reading all that

 

[0 0]

Thinking about the Tranch rewrite, I'm considering writing it as if it's a soap opera from the perspective of a Wikipedia article. I'm not entirely sure if it's a bad idea.

 

[Marcus Tullius Cicero]

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It's somewhat perplexing to see someone so interested in semen that he's willing to publicly post about his "ideas." Are any other tranch members (current or former) this interested in their own product?

 

[LankletBob]

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Someone get this man some fanta!

 

[Meiwaku]

Weird though: do you guys think Kindness would ever go therapy? I'd like to see her do it because it would be a funny saga, but be sad that the therapist would have to put up with her.
I have a feeling she might actually develop schizophrenia or a adjacent disorder. I'm no expert though, I'm going with my gunt and not my brain.

I would pay her to be her therapist are you fucking kidding me LMFAO

 

[stupid frog]

it's because these threads move so fucking fast, by the time I've read through 20+ pages I've seen enough shit to comment on and going back and editing it into one post is just far too much effort after reading all that

You've been here since 2019, you should know about the damn +quote button. Doubles happen sometimes, but a triple is just being lazy. And disruptive.

 

[Meiwaku]

More
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Tweet | Archive

Bryan being smooth as sandpaper
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Tweet | Archive

Keep in mind we had a whole ass fissure and entire tranchless bonnie arc and started over a debate on if a headmate could be blind so this means that she was likely walking around the Tranch with a seeing eye troon bumping into shit before Sky REEEEEE'd

It's gonna come down to a classic battle between brain and genitals

This is the funniest out of context quote for this thread

 

[Law]

I'll stick with Black Rifle, thanks.

Black Rifle tacticool coffee seems exactly like the kind of thing Penny would buy. A way to sell the image of being a dangerous badazz to consoomers using an over-priced subscription service.
"I'm drinking Silencer Smooth Light Roast! Take that, Earl!"

 

[Humbert Humbert]

But then what do you do about the alpaca?

Get Earl on the case, of course.

 

[STN]

I despise social media but love that batshit crazy people post every second of their day on it. Endless entertainment.

 

[The Angry Polack]

So being plural or autistic is a choice that can be useful in some situations? Not a serious mental disability one is born with? Interesting.