Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[CivilianOfTheFandomWars]

Historians may look back at the “Letters From Jail” Saga as a low point in the life of Chris.
But, there’s always a chance it could get worse.

 

[malleusmaleficarum]

can't stop laughing at "jail of fail"

 

[NaggotFigger]

At this point I'm not sure if having Chris as your cellmate would be one of the most entertaining experiences ever or if you would be sleeping with one eye open in the event he had a mental breakdown and tried shiving you because some "Magi-chan" was telling him it was prophesized.

While Chris is entertaining to watch on the internet or at a distance, being a cellmate with Chris would be more worse than that. If the person that stayed in the same cell as Chris, all they could only do is just cope and seethe with autistic shit Chris does in jail, especially towards to his own fantasies. You don't really want to hear his autistic fantasies during midnight, that would be the worst midnight in your cell with Chris ever.

 

[We All Came For CWC]

Also, donations to my inmate account can be made through the Central Virginia Regional Jail’s website, and ONLY U.S. Postal Money Orders, Cashiers Checks, or Certified Checks made out and addressed to Christine is acceptable through Postal Mail. While that is greatly appreciated as well, the needs of the Sonichu Temple and Barbara’s safety and hers and mine Keep of the Temple remains of higher priority.

Do prison commissaries offer PS Quintuples now?

 

[MrTroll]

People like Chris are only entertaining when you observe them from a distance. Under no scenario would living in the same small space as Chris be fun.

In prison you could rape him and get away with it though. Just imagine that big, soft, doughy butt, all to yourself. And he couldn't defend himself with those flabby noodle arms of his either. It would be like living in a candy store.

Man, I wish I was Chris's cellmate.

 

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

Well now, that's something you don't read everyday.

I'm pretty sure parts of my brain ate dead noa

 

[RodgerDodger]

Historians may look back at the “Letters From Jail” Saga as a low point in the life of Chris.
But, there’s always a chance it could get worse.

Best selling new Novel " Letter from a Sped on Death Row"

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I bet Kengle was like, "Send Nudes"

 

[PillCosby]

Christine deserves a FULL PARDON by the diversity, equity, and inclusion team at the White House. She’s just a hard working definitely woman that’s being harassed by the jerkops and trols. Not fair! We also have the whole blue sonic arms thing to figure out. So much to do for Jesus, so little time for social justice. May his/her/soni/gods meatballs be better than Banquet! The Christine Epistles are going to be quite the saga.

 

[Pope Negro Joe the XIIIth]

At this point I'm not sure if having Chris as your cellmate would be one of the most entertaining experiences ever or if you would be sleeping with one eye open in the event he had a mental breakdown and tried shiving you because some "Magi-chan" was telling him it was prophesized.

He's in county right? In that case he's probably driving someone absolutely fucking insane if he's in general pop or has been threatened enough to learn to be quiet and behave, he's in medical because he's clearly losing his fucking mind, or he's in ad-seg for sex crimes with the same thing as gen pop happening.

Not many other options.


And it would be fucking terrible.

 

[Dona Morte]

Peak autist, like summoning his imaginary friends to save him.
I think someone made a good point of Chris being the product of his time and parents.
He was the product of his time when schools did not know how to deal with one such as him.
Unfortunately now we have swung the opposite way.

 

[Ghost Got Double Dipped]

Wow Chris has really hard to read handwriting. I applaud y'all for reading as much of it as you did

 

[TV's Adam West]

You know what's funny to me? Every drug addict who found God and decided to go clean ended up truly finding Chris.

 

[Figantic Gaggot]

did he really sign this as "jesus christine westin chandler sonichu" im screaming

 

[PillCosby]

He's in county right? In that case he's probably driving someone absolutely fucking insane if he's in general pop or has been threatened enough to learn to be quiet and behave, he's in medical because he's clearly losing his fucking mind, or he's in ad-seg for sex crimes with the same thing as gen pop happening.

Not many other options.


And it would be fucking terrible.

I think he gonna find Islam- what’s this prayer rug shit??

 

[DaAdultey]

The fact that this delusional faggot just drew a sacred heart and a holy cross alongside his Sonichu rays as if it's some kind of Jesuschu emblem shows that not only bullying social retards is a necessary measure for the preservation of our social aesthetics and decency, but also that we are not doing it enough

 

[Cuntflaps]

Why is Chris's lawyer allowing him to incriminate himself? I mean, I'm all for Chris taking a plea of insanity and being institutionalized for the rest of his days but is that really the only avenue they are going to allow themselves to pursue?

Chris's lawyer probably can't get him to do shit or prevent him from doing shit. Unless Heilberg poses as a boyfriend-free girl offering a ticket to China, Chris is going to ignore and/or forget Heilberg's advice as quickly as it can be dispensed. Even if his laywer used the tried and true method, history shows it would be minimally effective on Chris and the effect would be extremely short-lived. Chris won't start taking his lawyer's advice in earnest until panic mode sets in as the reality of the situation dawns on Chris--this realization will occur at 20 seconds to midnight--far too late in the process to affect the outcome. Hell, it might happen at the moment the judge begins reading out the sentence.

 

[Optimus Prime]

I think at this point we can safely rule out the whole Jesus thing was part of an insanity appeal, because Chris certainly wouldn't be able to keep up the charade unless it genuinely appeals to him, much like how this Neptunia nonsense has long outlived the Idea Guys or whoever introduced him to that stuff.

And predictably, I don't even know how Chris is aware of it, but I'm almost certain he's already one a 180 on MLP G5 not only because of that weird-ass symbol he's created by combining the Cross with the combined form of the three crystals at the end of the movie...but also because of the main character.

TL DR - Main character is an Earth pony (no special powers) who the whole fucking town thinks is crazy, ends up going on a journey that leads to her being proven right and literally all of pony kind dropping extreme racism at the drop of a hat, and also she becomes an alicorn just like Twilight Sparkle before her.

Knowing Chris, if he thinks his troubles are at all comparable to Jesus to think he is Jesus, he's going to project himself onto a pony who in very loose terms is what Chris thinks he is and should be treated as (namely, everything he says is right and everybody else who says things to the contrary are wrong).

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Peak autist, like summoning his imaginary friends to save him.
I think someone made a good point of Chris being the product of his time and parents.
He was the product of his time when schools did not know how to deal with one such as him.
Unfortunately now we have swung the opposite way.

The schools knew how to deal with him...but they just couldn't because of his parents wanting to basically attempt to fix him/deny anything was wrong by mainstreaming him. Which led to the situation like MHS simply fasttracking him despite being provably an idiot purely to get him out of the system ASAP.

I'm beginning to wonder if the lawyer calling for additional psych tests wasn't so much to get support for defense as it was him simply being morbidly curious as to what the actual fuck is wrong with CWC. That's really why we've been here for so long, in one way or another - Chris is just broken in ways inconceivable to the human mind.

 

[My Knee is Growing]

This is a quote goldmine.

View attachment 2612490

fuggin' saved

 

[The Nameless One]

If all prayers to Jesus have been going to Chris since he was born but he just recently discovered that this is the case, then that means all Christian prayers have gone unanswered for nearly 40 years as they constituted the constant static of Chris's autistic mind. If y'all Christians hadn't been so damn needy during Chris's life, he would not have suffered from constant mental distractions that prevented him from getting a job and finding a boyfriend-free girl.