Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[Cask of Amontillado]

Why would Chris want money sent to the commisary? Even in jail, Chris still grifts?

 

[Bridget]

Tyrone swings his arm at Chris, which makes him shit himself and shut up. Next time he will give whatever they ask. Prison is a place where you can't show weakness and screaming "NO, MINE" like a child is an ultimate sign of it.

Don't forget that Chris is also a coward. Back at GamePlace when he sperged at people just telling "Or what?" was enough to make him shit himself. Also, do you remember when people just tried to make Chris leave without beating the shit out of him?

If he ends up in general population, he is fucked.

Yeah but didn't he step up to a different level of brash when he maced that Gamestop employee?

 

[Male Idiot]

Chris doesn't have a spear of destiny he has at best a cursed boomerang.

I want him to get islam and scientology in the mix with Buddhism.

"That is how I, Chirstine Jesus Allah Sonichu Blueaheart Chandler was Cruelly and Totally Betrayed by the cursed Null Judas Xenu."

 

[♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️]

Chris dorsn't have a spear of destiny he has at best a cursed boomerang.

I want him to get islam and scientology in the mix with Buddhism.

"That is how I, Chirstine Jesus Allah Sonichu Blueaheart Chandler was Cruelly and Totally Betrayed by the cursed Null Judas Xenu."

At this point The Nuwabian Nation is more in line with Chris' fucked-up mentality and sex-pest behavior.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Yeah but didn't he step up to a different level of brash when he maced that Gamestop employee?

Nope, since he used it against someone who didn't ever try to attack him. He had a slight advantage, meaning that it was coward's thing to do. If he collides with someone superior in strength, he will chicken out.

 

[Anne Hyroe]

If someone is going to be sympathetic to someone that wants to fuck relatives, it probably is Biden.
View attachment 2615355

The age of interest could not be more different though. Biden will lose any sympathy as soon as he’s told Barb would be more age appropriate for himself.

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

The age of interest could not be more different though. Biden will lose any sympathy as soon as he’s told Barb would be more age appropriate for himself.

Barbara Chandler x Joe Biden OTP.

 

[Cask of Amontillado]

And another thing: why would Chris-Chan bring up ProjectSNT in that letter when it's clear that ProjectSNT wants nothing to do with Chris-Chan?

 

[Yizu]

>Chris is likely being protected in exchange for sexual favors.
>Chris has found a group of fellow insane people to hang with.

The Charles Manson comparisons write themselves.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

And another thing: why would Chris-Chan bring up ProjectSNT in that letter when it's clear that ProjectSNT wants nothing to do with Chris-Chan?

Chris holds a lot of grudges about people he tries to simp off of, and ProjectSNT hasn't really contacted him, despite his and other people's insistance that she does. She kind of knew no good comes out of getting into lolcow drama, no matter the situation. At best, she was more collaterally related to him, and not an active participant in Christory.

 

[Cask of Amontillado]

Chris holds a lot of grudges about people he tries to simp off of, and ProjectSNT hasn't really contacted him, despite his and other people's insistance that she does. She kind of knew no good comes out of getting into lolcow drama, no matter the situation.

Then, ProjectSNT really did block Chris-Chan on every social media platform.

 

[PsychoNerd054]

Kengle was the autistic guy who runs the Onion Farms, the bad autistic parody of KF, right?

Yeah, that's the guy. I have no idea why, though, since he's old news in the CWCsphere.

 

[Drifting Panzer]

ALL prayers to Jesus have been going to Christine for nearly 40 years now

The ultimate proof that praying is useless.

 

[enjoy being dead]

Late me if it's in this thread but what kind of stupid shit could chris buy at the local prison commissary? I've heard of prisons having nicer amenities, any chance he can save up for a video game console if enough losers donate to him?

Prisons will sometimes have simple personal tvs which can be hooked up to the wall, but that is not every system and jails tend to be much simpler with what they allow. For Chris commissary will basically mean snacks and simple personal items like basic writing implements.

 

[HeilDave]

Is anyone else upset, that Chris doesn't even seem miserable while being in jail for fucking his mom? Will there ever be a real "i fucked up" moment, or will he dive deeper into religious larping until he gets stabbed by a muslim? The whole prayer rug thing seems to spell disaster.

Has there ever been an "i fucked up" moment?

He's in protective: locked in a box with nothing but his imagination, the only punishment he feels is that he can't fuck Barb anymore or drink unfiltered narcissistic supply from the internet. This shouldn't change until after sentencing, but by then he'll have cemented his jailhouse christ persona and have collected all sorts of religioiusly-offensive eccentricities (the prayer rug is only the beginning). Assuming his tard armor doesn't get him get off with time served, he'll be in minimum security with other deviants, hearing what he wants to hear and not learning a thing.

Maybe he'll learn to interact with men though. That could be interesting - though he's bound to take it to bafflingly bizarre places.

 

[Tikbalang]

Tyrone swings his arm at Chris, which makes him shit himself and shut up. Next time he will give whatever they ask. Prison is a place where you can't show weakness and screaming "NO, MINE" like a child is an ultimate sign of it.

Don't forget that Chris is also a coward. Back at GamePlace when he sperged at people just telling "Or what?" was enough to make him shit himself. Also, do you remember when people just tried to make Chris leave without beating the shit out of him?

If he ends up in general population, he is fucked.

He has to learn to fight at some point.

 

[Lemmingwise]

The age of interest could not be more different though. Biden will lose any sympathy as soon as he’s told Barb would be more age appropriate for himself.

Chris is not the only person who has an exquisite and rarefied taste for gilfs.

 

[Schizophrenic Autist]

Nothing really new to say, just Chris repeating more of what was already said except it's addressed to Kengle. I assume it's because Kengle is probably one of the only people in the world who would actually bother to write back.



View attachment 2612413View attachment 2612414View attachment 2612415View attachment 2612416View attachment 2612417View attachment 2612418View attachment 2612419

Has anyone transcribed his awful handwriting yet?

 

[Deborah "Debbie" Grayson]

Has anyone transcribed his awful handwriting yet?

Use the Highlight feature, nitwit.

 

[Kaiser Wilhelm's Ghost]

Chris has really jumped the shark at this point, it's gonna be glorious when they call him to the witness stand and the prosecutor asks him about being Jesus.

With each of these letters, I think my original opinion of a light sentence is going out the window, I think he will end up in an institution at the rate he's going.