Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[A Grey Cat]

As he states in the letter, he plays Solitaire on the prayer mat and reads the Bible. I know people were expecting amazing lols from Chris but this doesn't surprise me. He has experience with jail, is pumped full of estrogen now and has an idea as to what the procedure is. On top of that, aside from the toys, it's not a radically different lifestyle change for him. It's like when the pandemic started and bar thots were threatening suicide while introverts barely noticed it during lockdowns. Chris being confined to his room is only a minor inconvenience.

Prison though? That's where there is some potential for interesting insights. He's out of his element, he potentially could be around bigger tougher guys who find out he picked on an old lady, he'll have to do BACK BREAKING CHORES, he has to follow a routine, and he'll potentially have a cell mate for the first time in awhile that was a man and the first time ever that wasn't related to him.

The funny thing is is that Prison might be just another walk in the park for him or it might break him mentally depending on the choices made and what happens. It will be funny if Chris releases letters about how it reminds him of Manchester High and the only thing that sucks is the cleaning of the urinals.

really it all depends on if he does end up going to hard time in prison. I know it's a Legolas level longshot especially in light of the letters and what Chris has said in them, but if Heilburg can convince the court that chris won't survive in hard time, and it'll do nothing to reform because his mind set is set in stone. Then it'll just be more of this for the next year then maybe six months in a halfway house...not a group home but a place where inmates from within the system who show some promise are sent, in most cases this means vocational training and a job search but in Chris's case it'll be applying for section 8 and if nessicary reapplying for his ssdi or some form of tardbux while getting it hammered into his skull by professionals that under NO circumstances is he to go anywhere near 14 branchland or barb, or live or even go anywhere near schools, playgrounds. malls, arcades, hobby/comic shops and conventions (For at the very least the next decade or so depending on his offender tier)



Then again if all that fails and we have Chris going away up the river for a lot longer than a year or two well a few points. As many have said Chris will most likely be sent to isolated custody in a section separate from the gangs, and violent inmates who are known to be a danger to sex offenders, chomos, retards ect. He'll get his own albiet very small cell and the routine while there won't be much of one just be there when they do the head counts and do whatever they say. The back breaking chores thing? well Chris doesn't HAVE to do them or go on work detail. even if they tell him too, it's just any refusal to do chores results in privilege's suspended refusing to go on work detail means less or no commissary save whatever weens send him and even then they may take some of it to pay for his share of the work he refuses to do.

 

[Rapechu]

I keep absolutely losing it at "Papa Smurf."

He could have easily said "the smurfs" but he specifically chose one for his Noah's Ark. I wonder what will happen after the dimensional merge, when Papa Smurf is the only survivor and all his family are dead? Chris is truly a monster, deciding who lives and who dies so callously.

This would be the perfect moment for a Liquid Chris resurrection to challenge the Solid Jesus Christ Christine Weston Chandler

Maybe ressurect Kacey and Kacey's dad too.

"Chriiiis, my dad says I can't worship you unless you can walk on water! The other Jesus was able to walk on water! You're embarassing me!"
"I don't know, Kacey, he claims to be the Messiah but all he does is crap his pants. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 23:12-13, 12 Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. 13 As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. The other messiah had much better hygiene, I think you should worship him instead, Kacey."

 

[OrsonZedd]

I just realized, his dumb merged universe is 1C-211987

The Star HD211987 is a G5 star like the sun.

We found his dumb shit universe peoples, it's 220 lightyears away

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

"Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart, and Lord, Messiah and Savior of All."

I've got to admit, it's pretty funny seeing Chris' ever-lengthening list of names and titles. He's like an African dictator in the 1970s.

Somebody get Chris a copy of "Let Us March Forward Dynamically Towards Final Victory, Holding Higher the Banner of Songun" By Kim Jong-Il.

Comrade Supreme Leader, Sun-ichu of the 21st Century, General Secretary of the Workers' Party of CWCville, Chairman of the State Affairs Commission of the Sonichu People's Republic of CWCville and Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces of the CPU People's Republic of CWCville, Songun Messiah, Comrade Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart, and Lord, Messiah and Savior of All.

Chris needs Juche and Songun.

 

[draggs]

Holy shit this is just pure let Chris indulge in all the escapism he wants so he doesn't tard rage constantly in jail. He is still being coddled by the system. This all says to me that Mr. Hailjew has the ducks lined up for a deal that keeps Chris institutionalized indefinitely or he would not allow his client to keep admitting to the crime in communications with what legally amounts to randos outside the prison walls. This is the same, in spirit, leeway they give serial killers to communicate with randos through the mails because everyone knows they are not getting out and it keeps the waters calmer inside lockup. The nutso's need for attention is handled in a less disruptive way than him getting it by being at loggerheads with the court.

 

[King Kiwi]

When I was in highschool I used to really think I was supremely autistic. I'd lament how awkward and weird I felt I was, and my chun tendencies. I really thought that on the autismo scale I was maybe a 8 or 9. Then you see people like chris chan, and you realize I can't possibly be more than a 1 or 2.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just like everyone else because no one else's me, then I remember that I'm just trying my best.

 

[FightenGnome]

Somebody get Chris a copy of "Let Us March Forward Dynamically Towards Final Victory, Holding Higher the Banner of Songun" By Kim Jong-Il.

Comrade Supreme Leader, Sun-ichu of the 21st Century, General Secretary of the Workers' Party of CWCville, Chairman of the State Affairs Commission of the Sonichu People's Republic of CWCville and Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces of the CPU People's Republic of CWCville, Songun Messiah, Comrade Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart, and Lord, Messiah and Savior of All.

Chris needs Juche and Songun.

I think the only way this can get any off the wall is if Chris discovers Communism in Prison. I personally would prefer Chris become an ANCAP but Becoming an Antifa-Tier Marxist is more in his wheelhouse.

 

[Optimus Prime]

I just realized, his dumb merged universe is 1C-211987

The Star HD211987 is a G5 star like the sun.

We found his dumb shit universe peoples, it's 220 lightyears away

He's still being fed information somehow, then.

G5 Star, right when G5 Pony comes out? Not a chance in hell that's coincidental.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Holy shit this is just pure let Chris indulge in all the escapism he wants so he doesn't tard rage constantly in jail. He is still being coddled by the system.

There's a reason why you don't hear about inmates trying to escape or start full on riots to take over the prison and break out en mass. The days of sufferings behind bars, with only the most basic of needs getting met, while being pretty much forced into hard unpaid labor as seen in cool hand luke, and escape from Alcatraz are long over.

Inmates these days have pretty much all their needs met, they have access to everything from video games to tvs, to books, prisons have movie nights, art programs, vocational training hell even in some places inmates can take free college courses that cost thousands of dollars to ordinary people and yet prisoners take them on the taxpayers dime. About the only thing they can't fully access is the internet and even that is rapidly changing. They are allowed some monitored access and barring that, smuggled phones are becoming more popular than smuggled drugs or weapons in the system.


Tying this back to Chris it just shows that no matter where he ends up, save for an institution. (depending on what, kind if they plan on holding him indefinitely and if it's a facility for the criminally insane) Chris will be fucking spoiled. He'll sit in his cell all day refuse to go out for any meals or exercise, and if he goes to protective custody he may even get his personal shower to use, so there goes this sites fantasy of him being prison shower raped.

 

[OrsonZedd]

He's still being fed information somehow, then.

G5 Star, right when G5 Pony comes out? Not a chance in hell that's coincidental.

all this dumb shit is coming together.

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

I think the only way this can get any off the wall is if Chris discovers Communism in Prison. I personally would prefer Chris become an ANCAP but Becoming an Antifa-Tier Marxist is more in his wheelhouse.

I think he would rapidly/vapidly absorb Marxist Doctrine if exposed to it in a manner he could understand (monosyllabic) and make it part of The Merge. In his eyes, it's free wealth for his teachings and the fruits of his labors for his weebs.

 

[Ophelia]

He had that Sonichu comic where to prove he wasn't gay, he wrote that his blood was discovered to be the cure for gay people, with Chris not understanding that vaccinations function by utilizing a portion of the virus in controlled environments to allow the body to adapt to it in a safer manner, so the vaccine idea that he thought proved he was straight actually did the opposite.

He would later go on to become whatever "trans" monstrosity he is now and describes himself as being married to Magi-chan, a male character.

There were also episodes where he wanted to show how manly he is, then later we got "Stephanie Bustcakes" and Christine as he tried to convince people what a beauty he is.

Classic denial and overcompensating as well.

Emannuel is a fairly known Skinemax series of movies.

You got Google at your fingertips, son. Use it.

Additionally, the masculine version is a name for Jesus, most often used around Christmas. It means “God with us.” Chris smushed the two together.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

I think the only way this can get any off the wall is if Chris discovers Communism in Prison. I personally would prefer Chris become an ANCAP but Becoming an Antifa-Tier Marxist is more in his wheelhouse.

He did swallow the tough-guy troon outlook on how there's evil tranny haters/trolls out there, to the point of carrying around his bitty little beater baseball bat to fight them off with. I could see him falling in with a weird lefty Antifa type group, but he would only do it for surface interests. Chris and communism do not mix. There is no way in hell he would willingly share with anyone.

 

[ANobody]

I think he would rapidly/vapidly absorb Marxist Doctrine if exposed to it in a manner he could understand (monosyllabic) and make it part of The Merge. In his eyes, it's free wealth for his teachings and the fruits of his labors for his weebs.

A CPU is haunting Ruckersville, the CPU of da Commodore. All da powers of Old Trolldom have entered into a holy polycule to Curse-ye-ha-me-ha dis specter. Jerkops and DANG DIRTY TROLLs, Liquid Chris and Null, da Greenville County Board of Education and da Gamestop employees...

 

[Glowie]

Epistles of Chris.

Once more letters come out, I might get around and write a holy book because I and pretty apt writing cryptic, autistic and new age bullshit once I'm motivated to do so.
Depending on what bullshit he spews next.

 

[draggs]

There's a reason why you don't hear about inmates trying to escape or start full on riots to take over the prison and break out en mass. The days of sufferings behind bars, with only the most basic of needs getting met, while being pretty much forced into hard unpaid labor as seen in cool hand luke, and escape from Alcatraz are long over.

Inmates these days have pretty much all their needs met, they have access to everything from video games to tvs, to books, prisons have movie nights, art programs, vocational training hell even in some places inmates can take free college courses that cost thousands of dollars to ordinary people and yet prisoners take them on the taxpayers dime. About the only thing they can't fully access is the internet and even that is rapidly changing. They are allowed some monitored access and barring that, smuggled phones are becoming more popular than smuggled drugs or weapons in the system.


Tying this back to Chris it just shows that no matter where he ends up, save for an institution. (depending on what, kind if they plan on holding him indefinitely and if it's a facility for the criminally insane) Chris will be fucking spoiled. He'll sit in his cell all day refuse to go out for any meals or exercise, and if he goes to protective custody he may even get his personal shower to use, so there goes this sites fantasy of him being prison shower raped.

This is for county jail

To a lesser degree for state prison if you have a shortish sentence

State pen is still not a nice place you do NOT want to be in for longer than a year. A lot of states run full or partial work camp programs and stuff for sentences 2 years or less (when it isn't appropriate to just keep you in county) because being in state prison for longer than a year is pretty much a life sentence to recidivism and turning into a real piece of shit if you aren't one already. I'd rather be in a federal penitentiary than an SCI

 

[FightenGnome]

He did swallow the tough-guy troon outlook on how there's evil tranny haters/trolls out there, to the point of carrying around his bitty little beater baseball bat to fight them off with. I could see him falling in with a weird lefty Antifa type group, but he would only do it for surface interests. Chris and communism do not mix. There is no way in hell he would willingly share with anyone.

That's kind of why I figured he'd fit into the Antifa type group. Far be it from me in the year 2021 to critique the Worker's Paradise, but as was seen at the CHAZ these are the same type of people who cry out for Anarcho-Communism but lack even the most basic of skills to carry it out and just think it means "more free shit" which is aligned with much of Chris' stated economic desires to say nothing about the aspects you brought up. At least the Soviet peasants and workers understood the reciprocity aspect of Communism (everyone works, everyone shares, everyone benefits) but the types of people Chris would fall in line with are the "Everyone but me works, no one but me recieves, I benefit" type crowd.

 

[TheDrinkyCrow]

I went to Christian school through college and I still can't bring myself to get through this whole letter. Like actually where is he getting this stuff from. Perhaps he has a crazy cell mate?

 

[Ophelia]

He did swallow the tough-guy troon outlook on how there's evil tranny haters/trolls out there, to the point of carrying around his bitty little beater baseball bat to fight them off with. I could see him falling in with a weird lefty Antifa type group, but he would only do it for surface interests. Chris and communism do not mix. There is no way in hell he would willingly share with anyone.

I don’t think he even has it in him to do the retarded version Philthy’s into.

I went to Christian school through college and I still can't bring myself to get through this whole letter. Like actually where is he getting this stuff from. Perhaps he has a crazy cell mate?

He might be reading the Bible (to the best of his ability). Or going to church services. Or he got a tract. Or a missionary visited him. Religion is everywhere. Then he married it with his perspective of himself as The Great Director Goddess Player One King Koopa Grand Poobah Esquire and voila.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

That's kind of why I figured he'd fit into the Antifa type group. Far be it from me in the year 2021 to critique the Worker's Paradise, but as was seen at the CHAZ these are the same type of people who cry out for Anarcho-Communism but lack even the most basic of skills to carry it out and just think it means "more free shit" which is aligned with much of Chris' stated economic desires to say nothing about the aspects you brought up. At least the Soviet peasants and workers understood the reciprocity aspect of Communism (everyone works, everyone shares, everyone benefits) but the types of people Chris would fall in line with are the "Everyone but me works, no one but me recieves, I benefit" type crowd.

Yea Chris is worse than other cows in that space, he's dumber than most and doesnt even make good body count for protests due to his reputation before the whole Barb rape situation, a lot of the serious anti-fa guys and the real old school commies that are still around (and there are a few they just are not as active online as you expect) are really pissed off with the way the left is being dominated by people they are disgusted with but this isnt the thread for that talk.

If Chris was born in the Soviet union he would have been forced into a vocational pathway for education and be forced to work and if he didn't he wouldn't have been given free stuff as he's physically capable of doing something and they would have found something for him to do even if it was sweeping the streets or building fences.

I went to Christian school through college and I still can't bring myself to get through this whole letter. Like actually where is he getting this stuff from. Perhaps he has a crazy cell mate?

I doubt it, he's picking it up from the only source of media he's got access to the bible and he's wrapping it into his own delusions because that's all he has access to he's been separated from his toys or other media he likes and he needs something to fill the void and he's putting himself in the roll of protagonist to try and understand it and then adding the bits he likes or thinks he understands to his own delusions.