The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[dflatline]

Bruh someone with an IED could just fuck up the farm, most likely themselves on accident. We're still waiting for that electrical fire to happen. The Alpaca barn would have a shit time evacuating and there are so many people in the house with so much clutter (a bit cleaned up by Alyssa) that they might not even be able to get everyone out.

There's a reason people are waiting for them to light the barn on fire for insurance fraud.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barrack_buster in a pickup bed. No need to enter any sort of combat situation at all. No body armour, no guns, no risk

 

[stupid frog]

Always nice to see Neck helping out at the Tranch.

 

[AGPinochet]

How long until they reach 0 Alpacas/non domestic animals on the property and what will happen when they do? Keep Births and taking in other herds in mind. Will they blame "Militias" in order to restart the Gofraudme? Go crying to the Leftoidverse about how the heckin chudderinos killed all their animals? Pretend that they still have animals?

 

[AMHOLIO]

How long until they reach 0 Alpacas/non domestic animals on the property and what will happen when they do? Keep Births and taking in other herds in mind. Will they blame "Militias" in order to restart the Gofraudme? Go crying to the Leftoidverse about how the heckin chudderinos killed all their animals? Pretend that they still have animals?

There's no way they'd run out of animals: they hoard and replenish them quickly. They're comfort objects as much as they are selling. They would have to run out of money, basically. By that time, they would relaunch a gogriftme so they can get more money to buy more pacas, this time with death as the sympathy key.

 

[Flour]

Always nice to see Neck helping out at the Tranch.

I wonder if the uncanny resemblance between Neck and alpacas is why Kevin likes Neck so very much.

 

[Much Ado About Nothing]

They really plan on keeping animals underneath that blue tarp?
Of course it is a terrible idea, since it is coming from them,

They have to keep snow off so it won't cave in. They will have to figure out a way to isolate this better so the animals won't freeze to death.
Animals poo and piss, and they will have to clean this up, or else the animals will start getting (further) health problems. They already look neglected and unhealthy.
Including, but not limited to: hoof issues (rot, infections etc.) the ammonia that eventually comes from uncleaned piss can give respiratory issues when in an enclosed space like that. Desperate animals who are enclosed may end up attacking each other.

Lastly: Airflow and ventilation? Will they have any or will they just end up dead due to carbon monoxide poisoning?

This just all seems like a terrible idea.

 

[Alpaca Autopsy Expert]

They really plan on keeping animals underneath that blue tarp?
Of course it is a terrible idea, since it is coming from them,

They have to keep snow off so it won't cave in. They will have to figure out a way to isolate this better so the animals won't freeze to death.
Animals poo and piss, and they will have to clean this up, or else the animals will start getting (further) health problems. They already look neglected and unhealthy.
Including, but not limited to: hoof issues (rot, infections etc.) the ammonia that eventually comes from uncleaned piss can give respiratory issues when in an enclosed space like that. Desperate animals who are enclosed may end up attacking each other.

Lastly: Airflow and ventilation? Will they have any or will they just end up dead due to carbon monoxide poisoning?

This just all seems like a terrible idea.

Isn’t this new set up just for the lady alpacas?

I vote that KevKev, Jen, and every other “female” on the Tranch spend the winter in that death-hole. KevKev and Jen already have plenty of experience with death-holes, so they should be good to go.

 

[Humbert Humbert]

Love it. I extracted that little guy onto a transparent background and upscaled him with a neural net. Now he can photobomb anything people want. Enjoy!

Wow, I didn’t even think of that! Now he can join the tranchers in their most interesting adventures as of late.

And of course

 

[BoobWhiskers]

I'm just going to leave this here.

Not to mention their lack of fleece for winter since they sheared them at the wrong time. Again.

The spines are always so damn prominent in every picture they post of those poor animals. I remember I went and looked up pictures of healthy alpaca (I think it was shortly post-shearing, so I was hoping that they only looked so damn malnourished because of how startlingly lean an animal looks right after being shorn) and it was a world of difference.
Surely there have to be a handful of dominant bully alpaca who are elbowing the others out of the way for a reasonable share of the food, why not take pictures of those ones? Showing off the ones who look like they're skin and bones as signs of your prosperity isn't really a winning move.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I think part of the emaciated look is that they're apparently only being fed the cheapest hay.

Like beef cattle in the US are typically put on the range to graze for a year or so before being moved to a feedlot for finishing. The feedlot gives them corn and other high-calorie food which enables the cows to add fat to their musculature, so they get that nice marbled look to their meat. Versus deer, elk, or grass-fed beef, which is always very lean.

Grazing animals on the range don't usually just eat grass, either. It's obvious if you think about a human diet that different plants have different nutrients, and grazing animals will seek out different types of vegetation to eat.

My point here is that they're probably not just hungry, they're malnourished.

Poor guys.

 

[TowinKarz]

As someone said earlier, in usual farming speak 36 acres is "a field", not "a ranch".

Yep, the phrase "Back 40" exists for a reason, they don't even have that in the front, and the front is all they have.

You need at least 80 or 90 acres to run a dairy farm around here, and that's in an area that isn't desert by default. And those are just the small ones.

 

[AMHOLIO]

The spines are always so damn prominent in every picture they post of those poor animals. I remember I went and looked up pictures of healthy alpaca (I think it was shortly post-shearing, so I was hoping that they only looked so damn malnourished because of how startlingly lean an animal looks right after being shorn) and it was a world of difference.
Surely there have to be a handful of dominant bully alpaca who are elbowing the others out of the way for a reasonable share of the food, why not take pictures of those ones? Showing off the ones who look like they're skin and bones as signs of your prosperity isn't really a winning move.

This implies that they even realize it themselves. They can't even tell a fucking vicuña from a regular goddamn alpaca!!!

 

[Hitman One]

By that time, they would relaunch a gogriftme so they can get more money to buy more pacas, this time with death as the sympathy key.

Only in current year would a fundraising campaign which effectively boils down to "please donate to us so that we can buy and neglect more innocent animals. we're trannies btw lol" have a chance of raising great sums of money.

 

[AGPinochet]

Since someone reminded me of it in the Kevin Thread, Does anyone want to make any guesses as to when the Septic system will fail/start leaking shit into the ground? It's a system rated for maybe 4 people and being used by around a dozen or so.

 

[Hitman One]

Since someone reminded me of it in the Kevin Thread, Does anyone want to make any guesses as to when the Septic system will fail/start leaking shit into the ground? It's a system rated for maybe 4 people and being used by around a dozen or so.

This might improve the odour of the Tranch.

 

[Dvsilverwing]

Maybe they’re planning on planting some alpaca in the ground to re-grow their barren landscape. Tards are gonna tard.

Maybe they'll grow an Alpaca tree to restock their herd with.

 

[Billy Budd]

Since we have so many experts in this thread, can someone please explain to me what this “dug in” barn is? It looks like they just dug a small hole and covered it with a tarp. Is this a real thing or are these guys just that exceptional?

 

[AGPinochet]

can someone please explain to me what this “dug in” barn is?

I have absolutely no agricultural or ranching experience and limited knowledge of both subjects but personally I have never heard of a "dug in" barn so it is most likely something their cumrotted brains came up with as away of avoiding spending money on and acquiring permits for a real barn (also these retards are completely incapable of building an actual barn anyway, as are most people besides the Amish).

 

[Miss Misery]

I'm guessing they're attempting some sort of dugout barn and are using the tarps to keep the upcoming precipitation from washing their shoddy berms away before they can get the poles in and cover on...

Dugout (shelter) - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Pit-house - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[the luckiest number]

Is this a real thing or are these guys just that exceptional?

Yes.