Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

Now now, there can be some kind thoughtful and uplifting things to send him. Perhaps some classic literature? I'm thinking The Man in the Iron Masque, and The Prisoner of Zenda. The Count of Monte Cristo. The Hunchback of Notre Dame etc. Good classic stuff that will ground him in his circumstances. And perhaps attempting to tunnel to freedom with his spork. Which if nothing else will keep him out of the guards hair for awhile.
I'm not sure whether to admire your optimism in assuming Chris is both capable of understanding such classics of literature and capable of taking their underlying concepts on board, or mock it mercilessly, considering Chris's idea of a deep and gripping narrative is season 4 of his cursed fucking pony show.
That said, the idea of Chris embracing "The Count of Monte Cristo" and emerging from a decade long prison sentence to embark on a mission of vengeance against Bella Janke and "Judas" Moon would certainly be a strange twist to a story that seems to defy the idea that there is any logic or sense in this universe.
 
Now now, there can be some kind thoughtful and uplifting things to send him. Perhaps some classic literature? I'm thinking The Man in the Iron Masque, and The Prisoner of Zenda. The Count of Monte Cristo. The Hunchback of Notre Dame etc. Good classic stuff that will ground him in his circumstances. And perhaps attempting to tunnel to freedom with his spork. Which if nothing else will keep him out of the guards hair for awhile.
Let's be honest he would not understand the books nor would he find them uplifting. If anything it would make his delusions worse because he would start to claim he is the hunchback or The count of Monte Cristo or something
 
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I'm not sure whether to admire your optimism in assuming Chris is both capable of understanding such classics of literature and capable of taking their underlying concepts on board, or mock it mercilessly, considering Chris's idea of a deep and gripping narrative is season 4 of his cursed fucking pony show.
That said, the idea of Chris embracing "The Count of Monte Cristo" and emerging from a decade long prison sentence to embark on a mission of vengeance against Bella Janke and "Judas" Moon would certainly be a strange twist to a story that seems to defy the idea that there is any logic or sense in this universe.
All of these stories have been available for decades in comic book form and children's cartoons. Generally involving anthropomorphic animals.




The Sonichu in the Iron Mask? (we could only hope)
 
All of these stories have been available for decades in comic book form and children's cartoons. Generally involving anthropomorphic animals.




The Sonichu in the Iron Mask? (we could only hope)
Lmaooo the Dogtanian one - I must have seen that somewhere when I was a kid, I recognized it instantly but I haven't thought about it once since I was very young lol, I can't believe you found it.
If you wanted to introduce Chris to classic literature, this is about the only way to do it that would both grab and hold his attention, I dread to think of the horrors Chris's warped mind would twist these into though...
 
That said, the idea of Chris embracing "The Count of Monte Cristo" and emerging from a decade long prison sentence to embark on a mission of vengeance against Bella Janke and "Judas" Moon would certainly be a strange twist to a story that seems to defy the idea that there is any logic or sense in this universe.
thats one hell of a writing prompt
 
thats one hell of a writing prompt
The Mounting of Mommy by Christo, Or: The Modern Dénouement Oedipus Complex
A Novel by Christine I.S.A. Dumbas

"I do not know what reason government can assign for these useless visits; when you see one prisoner, you see all,--always the same thing,--ill fed and innocent. Are there any others?"

"Yes; the dangerous and mad prisoners are in Protective Custody."

"Let us visit them," said the inspector with an air of fatigue. "We must play the farce to the end. Let us see Protective Custody."

"Let us first send for two COs," said the warden. "These prisoners sometimes, through mere uneasiness of life, commit acts of useless violence, and you might fall a victim."

"Take all needful precautions," replied the inspector.

Two COs were accordingly sent for, and the inspector descended a stairway, so foul, so humid, so dark, as to be loathsome to sight, smell, and respiration.

"Oh," cried the inspector, "who can live here?"

"A most dangerous retard, a man we are ordered to keep the most strict watch over, as he is cowardly and insane."

"He is alone?"

"Certainly."

"How long has he been there?"

"Nearly a week."

"Was he placed here when he first arrived?"

"No; not until he attempted to curse a CO, who took his food to him, for it was not as good as Stouffers meatballs."

"To curse the CO?"

"Yes, the very one who is coming with us. Is it not true, Clytus?" asked the Warden.

"True enough; he Cursed me ye-ha-me-ha something fierce!" returned the CO.

"He must be mad," said the inspector.

"He is worse than that,--he is a deranged tranny!" returned the CO.

"Shall I complain of him?" demanded the inspector.

"Oh, no; it is useless. Besides, he is almost mad now, and in another 2 day he will be quite so."

"So much the better for him,--he will suffer less," said the inspector. He was, as this remark shows, a man working on a government salary, and in every way fit for his office.

"You are right, sir," replied the warden; "and this remark proves that you have deeply considered the subject. Now we have in Protective Custody about twenty feet distant, and to which you descend by another stair, an eceleb, formerly of Killstream, who has been here since 2021, and in 2021 he went mad, and the change is astonishing. He used to weep, he now laughs; he grew thin, he now grows fat. You had better see him, for his madness is amusing."

"I will see them both," returned the inspector; "I gotta see this fucking shitshow." This was the inspector's first visit; he wished to document it all for Kiwifarms.

"Let us visit this one first," added he.

(Edit for character correction)
 
Instead cons have a short blacklist of people who have been banned for bad behavior so they can keep a look out for those particular individuals.
Chris would always get spotted because he is not only noticeable from outer space with his size and clownish fashion sense, and even if he managed to fly under the radar he would still be noticed with his usual behaviour lol!

Chris could barely understand To Kill A Mockingbird and the Bible. Every book is Ulysses to him.
He read a book about himself and couldn't finish it. Even when he was reading he kept picking random chapters and reading from them as if he was doing an assignment on certain topics. Not an easy task, getting him to read and understand things!
 
Chris would always get spotted because he is not only noticeable from outer space with his size and clownish fashion sense, and even if he managed to fly under the radar he would still be noticed with his usual behaviour lol!

Even when he flew to that motel it took what a day for reddit weens to find him? All cause he refused to wear something other than that stupid pink sonichu shirt. If he had back a set of sweats and a hoodie and a ski balaclava then maybe nobody would have found him as soon as they did hell that could have meant his arrest would have happened latter. I'm still convinced the sheriffs were able to find and arrest him all cause of gunt running a mock all over VA looking for the slimy fucker to do an interview.
 
He read a book about himself and couldn't finish it. Even when he was reading he kept picking random chapters and reading from them as if he was doing an assignment on certain topics. Not an easy task, getting him to read and understand things!
It does explain the F in high school English class and his spats with his PVCC English college professor. Chris can't read anything further than a Pokemon description. Even when he reads something like the autism info, he'll pick what to read. I doubt he's read any Gossebumps.
 
He read a book about himself and couldn't finish it. Even when he was reading he kept picking random chapters and reading from them as if he was doing an assignment on certain topics. Not an easy task, getting him to read and understand things!
It does explain the F in high school English class and his spats with his PVCC English college professor. Chris can't read anything further than a Pokemon description. Even when he reads something like the autism info, he'll pick what to read. I doubt he's read any Gossebumps.

You bring up a good point, I'd be interested in knowing what Chris's reading ability is now I know he can read a menu or a web article etc but I wonder just what his level of reading comprehension is.

He's exposed to a lot of childish media and when he does read it's short blurby facts, and seems to quickly reach a point where he struggles, I am guessing if it's anything more complex than something VERY clearly factual (think assembly instructions for something) and alegory, subtext etc all seem to bypass him it would be nice to see a report into his reading abillity but I doubt we will ever see one.
 
If he had back a set of sweats and a hoodie and a ski balaclava ...
Maybe he’d be confused with Phil.

It does explain the F in high school English class and his spats with his PVCC English college professor. Chris can't read anything further than a Pokemon description. Even when he reads something like the autism info, he'll pick what to read. I doubt he's read any Gossebumps.
I doubt he’d comprehend Dr. Seuss at this point.

I have been wondering if he never got caught and when she died would he have kept her as the second cumming of Julay?
The saddest thing is six months ago I would have thought this idea was stupid, but now? (:_(
 
I'm not sure whether to admire your optimism in assuming Chris is both capable of understanding such classics of literature and capable of taking their underlying concepts on board, or mock it mercilessly, considering Chris's idea of a deep and gripping narrative is season 4 of his cursed fucking pony show.
That said, the idea of Chris embracing "The Count of Monte Cristo" and emerging from a decade long prison sentence to embark on a mission of vengeance against Bella Janke and "Judas" Moon would certainly be a strange twist to a story that seems to defy the idea that there is any logic or sense in this universe.
Different Seasons, with a bookmark stuck in the Shawshank Redemption part and a giant poster of Betty White. Gotta give him a project to keep his spirits up
 
No con is going to run a background check on every single person who attends, especially since most cons have at-con registration.
Yeah but some cons know damn well a registered sex offender is going to attend because it is publicly posted all over the fucking Internet and they literally ignore it. And then the registered sex offender (hi Growly) attends and they don't do shit.
 
Yeah but some cons know damn well a registered sex offender is going to attend because it is publicly posted all over the fucking Internet and they literally ignore it. And then the registered sex offender (hi Growly) attends and they don't do shit.
Plus, as someone who used to run large events a lot (now more rarely), you would not fucking believe how difficult it is to get people to back you over the decision to exclude someone who's really troublesome from attending.

Captain Awkward wrote a lot about this problem - "Geek Social Fallacy 1: Ostracisers Are Evil" and how it's even more difficult in non mainstream/loser type circles to get broad agreement, or sometimes even full organiser backing - to prohibit The Person Everyone Knows Is A Crazy Pervert/Violent/Stinks/etc from attending. People will absolutely tie themselves in knots with ridiculous ways in which this person can "attend safely" rather than accept "this person is a cunt, and everything will be better if they don't come". Given how full of weird pervs brony shit is anyway, I think you will find people disturbingly unwilling to say that even Chris can't come.

You see, if a precedent is set that someone is too much a perv/autistic/unwashed to attend big events, then many of the people whining that ostracism is evil know that their heads will be on a chopping block for too long. A lot of these limpdicks also haven't got over high school bullying and feel any variant of 'you can't sit with us' is psyche-destroying trauma.

If you are involved in a hobby/community/large organisation, you know who the Groper, the Drunk, the Cheat, and the Great Unwashed person are. You all know who they are. No one wants them there. But getting people to agree to put the bullet in their community membership and event attendance is way harder than you might think, unless you've done it yourself.
 
Plus, as someone who used to run large events a lot (now more rarely), you would not fucking believe how difficult it is to get people to back you over the decision to exclude someone who's really troublesome from attending.
But seriously what the fuck, if the dude in question is literally a registered sex offender, where is the fucking issue? If you're even in a community where that's an issue, get the fuck out, or you are a fucking pedo yourself.
 
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