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- Feb 21, 2016
Lol and now Olly is the most lesbian lesbo New Yorker, evah. BPD, man.
Anyway, Tess posted a story with a fan photo. I love how absolutely enormous she looks when she isn't in charge of editing.
Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud
- Thread starter BILLY MAYS
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Anyway, Tess posted a story with a fan photo. I love how absolutely enormous she looks when she isn't in charge of editing.
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
I'm asking this same question in the internet pagans thread, but can anyone translate this from astrololard? We know she's the type of person to say "I'm X so that explains why I'm so Y."
She's also posting a lot of "Please get vaccinated" shit on instagram, which makes me unironically MOTI given what a fat pile of shit she is, so I'm not gonna post those.
She's also posting a lot of "Please get vaccinated" shit on instagram, which makes me unironically MOTI given what a fat pile of shit she is, so I'm not gonna post those.
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2017
What we usually call a zodiac sign is actually a "sun" sign because those constellations are in the sun's path. It's your most "important" sign. However astrology is also based on where other constellations are in the sky at your birth. So your moon sign is what constellation the moon was in and rising was the sign ascending on the eastern horizon at the time. They're all supposed to influence different aspects of personality but I'm not gonna type that all out. Plus I am relying on distant memory from my occult teenager phase.
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- May 15, 2018
I don't know or care about the astrology gobbledygook bullshit, but is Tess calling herself a lying slutty bitch here, lol?
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- Jan 27, 2020
I've never been to England but I'm 100% sure I could find a better egg sandwich in London. What the fuck is wrong with fat people? 2 dry ass pieces of whole grain and some egg slop and THAT'S a highlight of her overseas trip?
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
I had to look it up. From this site:
Cancer sun: You are motivated by deep emotional desires and recharge through emotional experiences and intimate involvement with people.
Scorpio rising: You are sensitive, empathetic, and easily influenced by your environment. You often have an approach to life that is deeply rooted in your emotional body.
Aquarian moon: You react to changing experiences with discernment and objective evaluation. You feel most aligned with your inner self when expressing ideas and interacting socially.
So, yes, she really did post this as an excuse for her shitty behavior. She has to go out to party in Lundun you guiz! She can't just stay home with her sons! She needs to socialize! It's in her signs!
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- Aug 3, 2017
This is Hungry Hippo Tess we are talking about here. She will drive several hours just for an over rated and over priced champagne cake. Flying to another continent for gas station sandwiches is the height of class and luxury to her trailer trash ass.
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- Oct 8, 2019
Ah, the famous Mercury in Gatorade.
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- Feb 28, 2020
Weird how astrology hoes always have signs that dismiss their flaws of being bitchy self absorbed navel gazing assholes while praising them for being emotionally draining narcissists who cry too much. Convenient.
I think astrology tells plenty about those who obsess over it. It tells me to avoid them at all costs lest I get sucked into the most banal and idiotic conversation possible with people of low emotional intelligence who think they have a jeweler’s loupe into the soul if they can figure out which month you were born.
But that’s like, so Capricorn of me!
I think astrology tells plenty about those who obsess over it. It tells me to avoid them at all costs lest I get sucked into the most banal and idiotic conversation possible with people of low emotional intelligence who think they have a jeweler’s loupe into the soul if they can figure out which month you were born.
But that’s like, so Capricorn of me!
Dumb niche trend here of pretending to talk like a London chav, our slang incorporates a lot of cockney rhyming slang (eg dead horse for tomato sauce) that's pretty common among Aussies as a joke. But the chav thing is seen by a few idiots as chic. When chavs are like British bogan equivalent right?Olly is Australian. She did an interview when she was 27 where she revealed she grew up in a small town with loads of brothers, so she decided to be the brother too. Her mom was supportive, which she found irritating, as she wanted to have a “uwu my family rejects me” story like all other queers. She also said “I’m a Loindowner innit??” Because she loves the kaweer London scene and totes found herself. Basically sounds like a ditzy girl with a pick me problem.
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I'll also 100% on my guess that Olly was born and grew up in Sydney, she has the hallmarks of a Sydney version douche (distinct from the Melbourne version). Dunno what the version of dickhead is where Nick is based
Crepidodera fulvicornis
She's exactly like a watermelon, big and round
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
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- Mar 2, 2021
Astrology is lunacy and I don’t see any reason to “learn” anything about this crap, however I do agree about one thing — Ryann is a cancer alright.
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- Jul 8, 2020
It's the other thing common (in addition to LoL fat) among these gorls - they're all into this shit.
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- Jul 22, 2020
I remember reading somewhere on this site (maybe the Judy Valentin thread?) something about how everyone’s sign is wrong because of something fucky with the calendar being different now? I don’t remember enough to explain it properly other than people like Tess screeching about how that’s just sewwww CANCEROUS of them is hilarious because that’s not their actual sign when taking the calendar difference into account.
I’ll go looking for it later if nobody remembers/already knows this and can elaborate better.
As sad as it is that Tess abandons her children at home when she travels internationally, it’s honestly for the best. She’s a drunk fat nightmare visiting other drunk fat nightmares. Does that sound like something remotely interesting to Riley? Imagine a HERD of drunken sexually-starved borderline-retarded BPD fatties trying to get his attention just like Tess did with her own half-brother. Gross. And Bowie is a little kid, he’d have a tough time with the flights and then what would he do when they arrived? He can’t go to bars while Mawm is on a bender, can’t be left alone in a hotel and Olly isn’t there to pretend to be his dad for the Instagram attention. It would be great if Ryann Hoven’s children were able to experience enriching international travel, but it would be even greater if they had different parents altogether. Don’t wish this trip (or any trip with Tess) on them.
All the strain of international travel, messy benders in cow-country, and gas station fare is going to only further accelerate Ryann’s eventual immobility and subsequent undignified death. Which is a good thing considering the sooner she kicks it the less exposure Bowie has to his toxic mother. I say let’s take up a collection and send the butterhuffer on an international tour, we could call it “Around the World in 80 Cakes.”
I’ll go looking for it later if nobody remembers/already knows this and can elaborate better.
As sad as it is that Tess abandons her children at home when she travels internationally, it’s honestly for the best. She’s a drunk fat nightmare visiting other drunk fat nightmares. Does that sound like something remotely interesting to Riley? Imagine a HERD of drunken sexually-starved borderline-retarded BPD fatties trying to get his attention just like Tess did with her own half-brother. Gross. And Bowie is a little kid, he’d have a tough time with the flights and then what would he do when they arrived? He can’t go to bars while Mawm is on a bender, can’t be left alone in a hotel and Olly isn’t there to pretend to be his dad for the Instagram attention. It would be great if Ryann Hoven’s children were able to experience enriching international travel, but it would be even greater if they had different parents altogether. Don’t wish this trip (or any trip with Tess) on them.
All the strain of international travel, messy benders in cow-country, and gas station fare is going to only further accelerate Ryann’s eventual immobility and subsequent undignified death. Which is a good thing considering the sooner she kicks it the less exposure Bowie has to his toxic mother. I say let’s take up a collection and send the butterhuffer on an international tour, we could call it “Around the World in 80 Cakes.”
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- May 17, 2017
Of course they are. They think it makes them sound deep.
Science is hard but anyone can "learn" astrology/tarot/alternative therapies/other complete shite that's just made-up really easily and then think they're proclaiming some huge truths about themselves and others. It's like the nutjobs who witter on about INTZ or whatever, with no real understanding. Humans don't break down into twelve or sixteen clearly defined groupings with strict parameters and they're especially not governed by entirely subjective groupings of stars as perceived by us that aren't even grouped together in reality.
It's like Big Albert and her dinosaurs. Ask TenTon which stars form the cluster to which we have arbitrarily designated a pattern and watch the derp leak from her stupid fat head. Ask her to specify one thing about any of those stars and nope, no brain happening here. Fucking ridiculous.....but then I would say that cos Scorpio. Jeeeeezus.
Sorry gorls, bit of a sperg. But it is a privilege to visit other countries that many other Americans would truly love and appreciate and it absolutely boils my blisters that this moronic oaf can make a 12thC castle about her. An ancient spring bath about her. A village church, with all that entails, about her. I'm not religious but these places are special and I just cannot fathom standing in a nine hundred year old building that has weathered catastrophic religious strife and not externalizing the experience, especially when your home country doesn't have equivalents. The churchyards hold entire families with living links still in the villages today; she's a mother (barely) yet did she look at the records of the stones and realise how many children other mothers buried before modern medicine? The tragedy of a raft of tiny burials telling the story of long-vanquished diseases that took entire generations as each family fell under the dread spectre of pandemics past? The war plaques, with their dreadful story carved as a list of names? The mother-and-baby burials with a simple marker that tells a whole heartbreaking story in one single date?
No. She took a fucking selfie.
Fuck off back to LA, you shallow, self-absorbed cretinous blobosaur. Do not pass Go, most certainly do not go and shit all over other European countries, go straight back to LA. Then we can bomb it to buggery because if this is what LA is, the world doesn't need it.
I know, I know. Hats for MOTI. But I've seen US colleagues profoundly affected by history that we live within here and it's just wasted on this airheaded twat.
ETA @blue gopher snakes Yep, you're right. I can't remember the deets either but I think there's another "house" somewhere in between Scorpio and.....whatever the hell comes before it.
It's similar to the pyramidiots who try to see star spacing proving aliens or nine billion years old. But once the orbital axis and precession of the equinoxes and other clever stuff is taken into account our perception of it all changes anyway.
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- Aug 3, 2017
I'M NOT A RETARDED NARC CUNT BECAUSE I'M TOO IMMATURE TO WORK ON IMPROVING MYSELF! IT'S ALL THE FAULT OF THE STARS!
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- Apr 30, 2017
Basically since all stars and planets are moving in space our reference point has moved since Ancient Sumeria when these things first got written down (~5,000 years ago). There's another constellation now (Ophiuchus) that has moved into the solar path but as there's no "Ophiuchusians" this has indeed screwed up everyone's sun sign. There may also be other indiscretions in the star mapping, but that's a major one.
Basically astrology hasn't been updated in 5,000 years because it's a junk science so no one could be bothered.
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- May 17, 2017
I wonder how the astrology dipshits account for other gnarly realities, like the stars that make up their oh-so-important affect on every facet of your life might not actually be there any more? We see them on one plane but they're all different ages and we're seeing the light that was emitted millions of light years ago.
Ooooo. Does that mean that if some of the stars that make up TenTon's oh-so-vital chart are no longer extant, which is extremely likely, can we hope that she'll pop out of existence?
Per AstroBollox Today:- "Unfortunately we've found out that a major star in the Cancer region blew up several gazillion years ago so all Cancers no longer exist. Soz 'bout that."
Ooooo. Does that mean that if some of the stars that make up TenTon's oh-so-vital chart are no longer extant, which is extremely likely, can we hope that she'll pop out of existence?
Per AstroBollox Today:- "Unfortunately we've found out that a major star in the Cancer region blew up several gazillion years ago so all Cancers no longer exist. Soz 'bout that."
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- Feb 28, 2020
It’s really not remotely about science. Every time I (quite politely) am reticent about astrology to my astrology-inclined girlfriends, they first bitch me out about how it’s like... SO accurate, then they go quiet and shoot me death glares if I expound on any of the many reasons it’s bullshit. I don’t even try to explain the science to them, I usually just point out confirmation bias and how the horoscopes are designed to be relatable and applicable to as many people as possible.
Protip- if one of these loonies corners you to ask your sign, lie about it. It’s fun to see their personality autopsy based on (even more) faulty information.
To stay on topic- why did Tubber’s get scorpions on her belly? Wouldn’t that be for a Scorpio? She should have got a big ol buttery king crab dancing on that gunt.
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- Dec 15, 2019
@multiverse this'll make you really happy, cos that's even worse than takeaway. That's crap pub nosebag, which is designed to be so fantastically greasy that not only would the worst US fast-fud operator baulk at it, but that is designed to complement beer you can stand a fork in. You inevitably wake up halfway down the staircase at 5am with your neck at a right-angle and a gut that feels like a washing machine.
TwentyTon should be coming along nicely.
(I worked with colleagues that came over from Cali regularly and their inaugural night out with us just destroyed them. And I'm only in the poofy home counties, out in farm country they take their beer seriously. TwentyTon is gonna feel like a house fell on her. This is most definitely not London and she is fucked. Heh heh heh.)
The downside is that she'll be viewed with contempt as the epitome of the Murican tourist - too big, too loud, too inyerface and constantly chewing gum like a bovine cudding. Londoners have a way of ignoring whilst inwardly sneering but in the wider world we look, we sneer and we're politely very rude. Do you keep them corralled, cos Murican Tourist is nothing like real ordinary Americans? 's funny how the very worst of a country's people are always the ones that go abroad and give everyone a bad name. I mean...look at Brit tourists
I’m half convinced that British pub culture is an insidious long-term form of revenge on the rest of the world for the dissolution of the Empire.
I’m a Britbong by birth but reached drinking age in a balmy-climed lager-swilling Commonwealth outpost. I visited family in Manchester at the height of Baggy, stepping off the plane undaunted by the icy Northern wind and utterly convinced of my native ability to hold my own amongst the hardened drinkers and E-boshing ravers of t’auld country.
Night 1 on the Boddingtons, scratchings, doner and resulted in a violent public faceplant into my own copious brown sick. There was loud jeering and whistles. I prayed for death’s sweet mercy for days afterwards.
If Tess is still on her gourmand’s tour of the “gastropub” circuit, she’s sharting things that look like the Lindow Man by now. Serves her bloody right.
- Joined
- May 17, 2017
She's always banging on about Scorpio something....usual bollocks when one stupid sign isn't enough.
She's desperate to be Scorpio cos it's the sign connected to sex and Scorpios are meant to be all deep, mysterious and bitchy. Must be why I sneer at this ludicrous, pompous heffalump.
@Bubonic_Vague Manc's fookin' 'ardcore. Be nice to think it was some collective feels over the loss of empire but I think it's more likely to be weather. Spesh oop norf, it's always bloody raining. 58 pints of beer and a fight keeps you warm. As for the food, it's whatever we could catch - I'm fairly sure we render old people down and turn them into Gregg's Granny Pasty.
She's desperate to be Scorpio cos it's the sign connected to sex and Scorpios are meant to be all deep, mysterious and bitchy. Must be why I sneer at this ludicrous, pompous heffalump.
@Bubonic_Vague Manc's fookin' 'ardcore. Be nice to think it was some collective feels over the loss of empire but I think it's more likely to be weather. Spesh oop norf, it's always bloody raining. 58 pints of beer and a fight keeps you warm. As for the food, it's whatever we could catch - I'm fairly sure we render old people down and turn them into Gregg's Granny Pasty.
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