Bad Weddings and Wedding Trends - sperg about weddings here

[Fialovy]

What do people feel about promise rings? I never seen the point to them, but I have known women past the age of 16 to get them including this one woman I knew in her 40s who had one. Like, if you are committed enough to get a promise ring, why just get an engagement ring and get engaged? What is stopping you from getting married? I mean, usually teens did it because they weren't legally allowed to get married (without parents permission at least) or I guess maybe you were in college and wanted to wait until you got out? Still, it shouldn't be a think once you are an adult. Couldn't you just give a woman jewelry if they wanted it?

Then there is also purity rings, if you went to a very religious school or been involved with any sort of church youth group you were bound to see girls with them and if you don't you are a slut or something. It is like, why? I never understood why do you need a ring to remind yourself to wait until marriage if you were dead set on it, wouldn't you do it anyways? Isn't it a personal thing? I remember they were especially popular in the 2000s. They usually had stuff like true love waits and stuff on it.

 

[Bakarina]

What do people feel about promise rings? I never seen the point to them, but I have known women past the age of 16 to get them including this one woman I knew in her 40s who had one. Like, if you are committed enough to get a promise ring, why just get an engagement ring and get engaged? What is stopping you from getting married? I mean, usually teens did it because they weren't legally allowed to get married (without parents permission at least) or I guess maybe you were in college and wanted to wait until you got out? Still, it shouldn't be a think once you are an adult. Couldn't you just give a woman jewelry if they wanted it?

Then there is also purity rings, if you went to a very religious school or been involved with any sort of church youth group you were bound to see girls with them and if you don't you are a slut or something. It is like, why? I never understood why do you need a ring to remind yourself to wait until marriage if you were dead set on it, wouldn't you do it anyways? Isn't it a personal thing? I remember they were especially popular in the 2000s. They usually had stuff like true love waits and stuff on it.

View attachment 2649596

Most styles of "promise rings" these days are more or less cheap engagement rings. I guess to guilt both parties into eventually buying a more expensive ring to be the "real" engagement ring. I don't think "promise rings" are used as they used to be these days but I could be wrong.

I've only known a few women who had purity rings and they were typically just a thin band with a cross on it that was worn on the index finger. As a teenager, with no interest in relationships or doing anything involving anything that would have my "purity" at stake, I thought they were cool. These days I can understand why most people find them unnecessary but I was in my 20s before I saw what most purity rings looked like and was used to the more subtle designs.

 

[Fialovy]

This is a relatively recent post I found by someone who basically wanted to get married on a beach not local to anybody with no chairs and no permit to have the wedding on the beach with 20 people and no reception (though she did agree of maybe having a couple boxes of donuts after enough people pushed her to have SOMETHING). Instead she wanted to spend the time for a reception to take a "nap" with her husband and then maybe go out to drink with anyone who is still there. Her reason for doing that? She is not neurotypical.

I don't know about you, but no reception when you are inviting guests just seems weird, like, there is no incentive for them to be there or travel there.

 

[EnemyStand]

This is a relatively recent post I found by someone who basically wanted to get married on a beach not local to anybody with no chairs and no permit to have the wedding on the beach with 20 people and no reception (though she did agree of maybe having a couple boxes of donuts after enough people pushed her to have SOMETHING). Instead she wanted to spend the time for a reception to take a "nap" with her husband and then maybe go out to drink with anyone who is still there. Her reason for doing that? She is not neurotypical.

I don't know about you, but no reception when you are inviting guests just seems weird, like, there is no incentive for them to be there or travel there.


View attachment 2649858 View attachment 2649859

I usually take the stance that the bride and groom can do what they want. By that measure, so can the guests. If you choose to be a poor host and the guests don't want to come, well, what can you do? Personally I agree on a simple ceremony and putting the money into the reception more: that's when everyone actually has a good time.

 

[Bakarina]

I usually take the stance that the bride and groom can do what they want. By that measure, so can the guests. If you choose to be a poor host and the guests don't want to come, well, what can you do? Personally I agree on a simple ceremony and putting the money into the reception more: that's when everyone actually has a good time.

I went out for frozen custard with my guests after the ceremony. Everyone knew it was going to be pretty casual as the only people I wanted at the end of the day was the preacher, my husband, myself, and a witness.

Most of the people we wanted there were either severely handicapped where travel is difficult, across the ocean, dead, or a combination of the three. We live streamed the ceremony but also told everyone where it was and the time just in case anyone wanted to show up.

 

[EnemyStand]

I went out for frozen custard with my guests after the ceremony. Everyone knew it was going to be pretty casual as the only people I wanted at the end of the day was the preacher, my husband, myself, and a witness.

Most of the people we wanted there were either severely handicapped where travel is difficult, across the ocean, dead, or a combination of the three. We live streamed the ceremony but also told everyone where it was and the time just in case anyone wanted to show up.

No offense intended. If that's what worked for you and your guests, then that's exactly what everyone wanted to do and it was perfectly hospitable to everyone. I mostly take issues with the bride and groom becoming upset when the guests don't conform to their every little expectation, especially if their guests needs (comfort and food, mostly) aren't taken into account. As you can probably tell, I'm big on hospitality and a wedding is no excuse to be inhospitable.

 

[Bakarina]

No offense intended. If that's what worked for you and your guests, then that's exactly what everyone wanted to do and it was perfectly hospitable to everyone. I mostly take issues with the bride and groom becoming upset when the guests don't conform to their every little expectation, especially if their guests needs (comfort and food, mostly) aren't taken into account. As you can probably tell, I'm big on hospitality and a wedding is no excuse to be inhospitable.

Non taken. 4 people showed up and the custard place was a mom-and-pop in the area that we all knew about. The wedding happened at 2pm so everyone just ate lunch and it was too early for dinner. We all discussed it, invited the preacher and his wife, and then hung out for an hour.

 

[Fialovy]

I went out for frozen custard with my guests after the ceremony. Everyone knew it was going to be pretty casual as the only people I wanted at the end of the day was the preacher, my husband, myself, and a witness.

Most of the people we wanted there were either severely handicapped where travel is difficult, across the ocean, dead, or a combination of the three. We live streamed the ceremony but also told everyone where it was and the time just in case anyone wanted to show up.

I think what concerns the most is that she has no chairs so people will be standing around uncomfortably or beach permit to have the wedding there. Which means she could get fined or there will be people there and she won't be able to move them. Plus the beach was a long distance away and gave no incentive for guests to want to be there.

I think the big difference is that you communicated that it would be casual and also did something for the guests even if that was just frozen custard (which sounds delicious!).

 

[NoReturn]

Jewelry stores are fucking scams and the people who work in them probably don't have souls. Depending on the store, the workers get commission off of what they sell so they use very similar car salesmen tactics. Most of the time the bands for the ring are next to worthless[depending on the metal used] and the price only really changes when it come to the stone.

Unless you flip it and get a 24k gold wedding band, but then you can't really wear it as a daily thing without it getting all scratched up.

I did think Megan looked lovely, but that's been the ONLY time. Poor thing does not have that gene to look effortlessly stylish. Kate has it, Kate Moss has it, Audrey Hepburn had it, so do a few others.

Spoiler: A humble request

Please help me understand.
I have mild face blindness and I didn't even know Markle was black until someone explicitly told me.

But anyways, back on topic, here is this Sailor Moon wedding dress I found that is 100 percent official.

Hold on guys, I found the rest of the Sailor Moon wedding dress collection and most of them look a lot more sane.

The outer senshi one is pretty cool.

It reminds me that a Japanese bridal brand made some One Piece inspired wedding dresses

Ok, they do look quince-y, but they are pretty cute.

I really like how these look like things the characters would actually wear vs. what Mariarosa did with the Sailor Scout dress.

Spoiler: Shit, I actually like these ones

Oh speaking of Pokémon, that reminds me that there was an official Mew engagement ring made! I think it's adorable, but I'm biased because I love Mew.
View attachment 2649408

brb going to Ikebukuro for this one.

 

[Bakarina]

Spoiler: A humble request

Please help me understand.
I have mild face blindness and I didn't even know Markle was black until someone explicitly told me.

Markle has to put effort into her appearance in order to look decent. She's not effortlessly pretty. Also, she's like, half black or something and that's why she looks like a tan/dark white.

brb going to Ikebukuro for this one.
View attachment 2650034

That's actually really pretty.

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

I was lurking on Weddingwire to see what I can find and I found this:

View attachment 2648339

I have heard of unity candles and unity sand, but never blending two wines together and drinking it. It just sounds... gross. Especially if they are two different kinds of wine, the flavors would be all weird.

I have also seen at Hobby Lobby something called a Unity Cross where you build a cross together during the ceremony. I can't find it, but I also remember hearing a story about someone couple on reddit doing a unity sandwich ceremony where they build a sandwich then eat it.

Has anyone heard of any other weird unity ceremonies?

We did a unity candle. I'm still bitter about it. We couldn't get it to light. Pastor had to bring out his pocket knife and work on the wick in order to get it lit.

I've never heard of the Unity Cross before, but that sounds equally as bad. I've never seen anything other than the unity candle or unity sand thing. Well, I don't know if it is considered a "unity" thing, but I have seen putting flowers into a vase where the bride, groom, and their kids from previous relationships all put a flower into one vase symbolizing creating a new family. That was kind of cool. Allows the kids to participate.

What do people feel about promise rings? I never seen the point to them, but I have known women past the age of 16 to get them including this one woman I knew in her 40s who had one. Like, if you are committed enough to get a promise ring, why just get an engagement ring and get engaged? What is stopping you from getting married? I mean, usually teens did it because they weren't legally allowed to get married (without parents permission at least) or I guess maybe you were in college and wanted to wait until you got out? Still, it shouldn't be a think once you are an adult. Couldn't you just give a woman jewelry if they wanted it?

Then there is also purity rings, if you went to a very religious school or been involved with any sort of church youth group you were bound to see girls with them and if you don't you are a slut or something. It is like, why? I never understood why do you need a ring to remind yourself to wait until marriage if you were dead set on it, wouldn't you do it anyways? Isn't it a personal thing? I remember they were especially popular in the 2000s. They usually had stuff like true love waits and stuff on it.

View attachment 2649596

A super popular girl in my school got a small diamond ring as a promise ring from her boyfriend in high school. After she graduated, he took the ring and had diamonds added around the original stone and turned it into an engagement ring. That's a neat idea.

I have never known any adult woman who got a promise ring, though. Some had very long engagements (to the point you were wondering if they were ever really going to get married), but none had promise rings.

 

[Fareal]

Here's some more food for thought. When my dad proposed to my mom he asked if she wanted a ring or a house. She chose a house.


Serves her right.

Your mom is a smart lady. The bride in question and I were schoolfriends. She would have slept rough before she gave up on that sweet Tiffany diamond ring. To be fair, the couple and families were not short of money or places to live. But yeah, bride was the type who Must Have A Show. The wedding was nice but it was A Show. She really wanted to be in the wedding magazines and she stopped talking to me after mine was in a 'better' magazine than hers. (That was not my idea btw and I did not enjoy it). People get psycho about weddings.

 

[Tardcaptor Sakura]

Gonna share the terrible wedding one of my train wreck family members had a few years ago.

Spoiler

The ceremony was held in the side yard of their apartments in the ghetto, it was pushed back two hours because the bride's son went to get weave and wasn't back yet. The groom wore a sweaty wifebeater, jean shorts and socks and sandals, The bride was stuffed into a thin strapped dress wearing no bra.

During the ceremony the groom took a rag out of his pockets to wipe his face instead of exchanging rings. There wasn't enough seats for people to sit outside and there wasn't enough food for everyone either. Also the groom's 4th baby momma showed up with their kids and made them dress up in really fancy outfits., not sure why. Mother of the groom sat in her car the entire time, and I'm not sure the groom's other kids even came.

They're still married and she moved him out of the state, I assume she thinks she's trapping him with her but I think he went along with it because he owes so much in child support he was in the paper about it.

 

[MysticMisty]

Then there is also purity rings, if you went to a very religious school or been involved with any sort of church youth group you were bound to see girls with them and if you don't you are a slut or something. It is like, why? I never understood why do you need a ring to remind yourself to wait until marriage if you were dead set on it, wouldn't you do it anyways? Isn't it a personal thing? I remember they were especially popular in the 2000s. They usually had stuff like true love waits and stuff on it.

I always thought this shit was creepy as fuck. Not only do they do this with girls as young as elementary school age, but they're not even promising to themselves, they promise to their dads which is just gross. It should be a personal thing, but it never was, for the people that do them it's considered mandatory.

Also massively sexist double standards because doing the same thing for boys is nonexistent, to the point where I've never heard of it. So basically for a guy it's more or less not just okay but acceptable to sleep around until you decide to settle down, so long as she has a purity ring and shit.

 

[Fialovy]

Here is another couple posts I remember from weddingbee of a bride asking how many bales of hay she needed to sit 300 people and I also found a similar question of a bride asking a similar thing. Everyone kept telling her it was a bad idea, even if she was going to give chairs to the old people because first of all, even if you put cloth or something on top of the bales, the hay is still itchy and there is no back which is really uncomfortable for just about everyone, not just old people. It is just an overall bad idea. Plus what is she going to do when she is done using them?

 

[TapewormSalesman]

On that day 300 people learned the horrors of hay in asscrack

 

[Bakarina]

Hay bales are kinda cute for county/town fairs when you live out in the middle of nowhere but it seems out of place for a wedding. How much do you want to bet that she also used burlap in her decorations.

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

So basically for a guy it's more or less not just okay but acceptable to sleep around until you decide to settle down

On top of us being the ones getting called sluts and whores on the reg, so basically the way it's always been. Look at what a traditional bachelor party is vs what a traditional bachelorette "party" is. (BTW, Google won't even recognize the word "bachelorette" and keeps informing me that I must mean to type "bachelor".) Blackout drinking with hookers and strippers for the boys vs sitting around making decorations, gift bags and thank-you cards for the girls. Both are shitty and malicious in very very different ways while pointing in the same direction.

Really does explain why white wedding dresses seem like they'll never go away or even get demoted from being the standard, though. But of course the other reason for the dress being white was/is a status symbol of wealth. "Look at this huge, elaborate dress in the most difficult color of fabric to own that costs more than your peasant house, and it will only ever be worn once." It bothers me that even in modern day with all of this preaching about reuse, recycling, etc, just about everyone seems incapable of even entertaining the idea of getting a used wedding dress. God forbid that industry lose out on charging even one idiot more than three months of mortgage payments for a dress that will be worn exactly once after the fitting. I know that for just a little while, some families would have the daughter wear the mother's dress like passing down a ring.

JFC, wedding horseshit makes me sound like a raging feminist. Dear lord.

 

[Fialovy]

So I found some wedding hats plus a flower crown. I don't mind flower crowns, but they were literally everywhere a few years ago and IMHO they look really ugly with roses or other bigger poofier flowers. As for the hats, I don't really hat wedding hats, I think they can work (think Angel Lily and Angel Daisy's wedding dresses in Wedding Peach, those hats actually look nice), but these ones are ugly.



and a flower crown:

Blackout drinking with hookers and strippers for the boys vs sitting around making decorations, gift bags and thank-you cards for the girls. Both are shitty and malicious in very very different ways while pointing in the same direction.

That is not my experience with bachelorette parties, in my experience, they can be just as wild as the boys, but I get what you are saying.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

So I found some wedding hats plus a flower crown. I don't mind flower crowns, but they were literally everywhere a few years ago and IMHO they look really ugly with roses or other bigger poofier flowers. As for the hats, I don't really hat wedding hats, I think they can work (think Angel Lily and Angel Daisy's wedding dresses in Wedding Peach, those hats actually look nice), but these ones are ugly.

View attachment 2651562View attachment 2651563View attachment 2651564

Oh yeah, wedding hats are a thing (how do I keep forgetting that when Napoleon Dynamite is a favorite movie of mine lol), gotta make a mental note of that. The second one having a big flowing rim like that is so dumb, like cut that shit down and it'd look fine. I get it's in place of a veil, but just put a damn veil on it ffs, doesn't even have to be a fancy one.

Really does explain why white wedding dresses seem like they'll never go away or even get demoted from being the standard, though.

White is like the universal color (or well, lack there-of) that looks good on anyone as long as the outfit fits correctly, so that's why I don't see it ever going away. My mom interestingly enough requested her wedding dress to be off-white to imitate this:

I know that for just a little while, some families would have the daughter wear the mother's dress like passing down a ring.

I'll confess, I actually wore my mom's wedding dress to a church dance in high school 'cause I couldn't find a dress I would actually wear (I'm picky partly due to sensitivity to certain fabrics). I'm honestly shocked it even fit me tbh. Even though I'd rather have my own custom-made dress, if Mom's up to passing down her wedding dress if just to save money, I won't complain, especially since it now doubles as a memento of Grandma as she was the one who made it.