Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Dondeld Dock]

Yeah he thinks that if he prays hard enough that God is going to fix it. Like this is his cross to bear or that God gave him the stroke to teach him humility or something. Problem is even if such a thing happened, he hasn't learned his lesson. So he basically needs to get used to his arm, leg and dick not working ever again.

And he cannot blame anyone else for that. It was solely his own doing to get the strokes, the kidney stones, the diabetes, everything. I also am sure, that when it was very imperative for him to train his hand, he was just gobbling food instead, causing those damaged nerves to never heal at all. I know a friend who suffered a similar condition, but because he daily tried for hours to move his hand, he recovered fully, in a month or two. Jack on the other hand, still has his barely functional arm limping on his side.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

And he cannot blame anyone else for that. It was solely his own doing to get the strokes, the kidney stones, the diabetes, everything. I also am sure, that when it was very imperative for him to train his hand, he was just gobbling food instead, causing those damaged nerves to never heal at all. I know a friend who suffered a similar condition, but because he daily tried for hours to move his hand, he recovered fully, in a month or two. Jack on the other hand, still has his barely functional arm limping on his side.

I know a guy who took a flip on a bike and landed on his head without wearing a helmet. Guy spent a year in rehab learning how to speak, how to talk, how to basically take care of himself. And he's practically back to how he was beforehand. Why? He put in the effort and wanted to get back to normal like most people would.

Mushbrain is lazy and instead of putting in the effort wanted to sit on his ass, eat fast food burgers and leave it in God's hands. But here's the thing. If God exists, he's got other things to worry about than some fat slob getting his arm back so that he can stuff his face with it. His arm is dead. Sure he can lift it but that's his shoulder doing the work, not his arm. He can't flex his fingers. He can't grasp or really hold onto anything. You see it when he tries to do so. He hooks his thumb onto the bowl and barely has any more control over it than he had before.

But then he blames everything on outside forces. He got kidney stones not because he doesn't drink enough water but because Hendersonville's water has too many minerals. And yet there's not an outbreak of kidney stones in Hendersonville. He blamed his first stroke on caffeine and energy drinks not because he's got several health issues that leads to one but he eats like shit. And while there is a connection for this it only happens for about an hour after you drank it and tends to be more severe with people who rarely drink it or only occasionally and Mushbrain says he likes his coffee. And did he give up coffee? No. He still drinks it. It's almost as if he has no self-control and the idea of giving something up, like coffee or fast food, makes him want it that much more.

 

[Sylvie Paula Paula]

At the end of the video, we get a view from Jack's usual perspective. The lights and camera gear are gone. He's probably been reading our comments about how that shit is always in his "studio." At 9:20, a familiar friend shows up!
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Fatass just moved Piggy from one side of the kitchen to the other.

A bit late, but can't help myself:

 

[desudesu]

After numerous Google Image reverse searches, I've finally found the legends:

Apparently C.U. Piggy is just a Patrick Star themed piggy bank and the right would be Michelangelo from TMNT. Both are from Walmart, so if anyone wants these relics from the Scalfaniverse perhaps check your nearby stores.

 

[Lenzperkins]

 

[rubytintedchix]

After numerous Google Image reverse searches, I've finally found the legends:

Apparently C.U. Piggy is just a Patrick Star themed piggy bank and the right would be Michelangelo from TMNT. Both are from Walmart, so if anyone wants these relics from the Scalfaniverse perhaps check your nearby stores.

I was trying to find the pink one for @TheLazyMan for his birthday. Couldn’t figure out what it was. The TMNT piggy exists on EBay. It figures he bought them from Walmart because he’s a toddler.

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

Piss off Jack

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

After numerous Google Image reverse searches, I've finally found the legends:

Apparently C.U. Piggy is just a Patrick Star themed piggy bank and the right would be Michelangelo from TMNT. Both are from Walmart, so if anyone wants these relics from the Scalfaniverse perhaps check your nearby stores.

Damn! Didn't even think that Piggy was Patrick based. Good find!

I'm still going to pretend Piggy is one of a kind.

Piss off Jack

Gee, that doesn't sound predatory at all, trying to convince people with possible mental illnesses that their cure is a Gold Membership at the Murderchurch.

A bit late, but can't help myself:

I just spent like five minutes trying to think of a Gandalf the White pun with Piggy having returned after braving the Wendigo casting him into the smoker scrap pit...

But instead I'll just go for the obvious and call Piggy Boaromir.

 

[Beluga]

Piss off Jack

People need god to shut your mouth, fucking hell what a piece of garbage he is.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

People need god to shut your mouth, fucking hell what a piece of garbage he is.

"Sounds like you're very angry, God can help with that. I'm sending thoughts and prayers that you find help"

Insert either the Megaphone or Humble Prayer Bitmoji, whichever you find more infuriating.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Piss off Jack

God hasn't cured his arm so why would he think God is going to cure people of mental illness?

"Sounds like you're very angry, God can help with that. I'm sending thoughts and prayers that you find help"

Insert either the Megaphone or Humble Prayer Bitmoji, whichever you find more infuriating.

Yeah prayer. The last refuge of those that say they want to do something but don't actually want to help.

 

[desudesu]

I was trying to find the pink one for @TheLazyMan for his birthday. Couldn’t figure out what it was. The TMNT piggy exists on EBay. It figures he bought them from Walmart because he’s a toddler.

There are results for the Patrick piggy bank on ebay if you exclude his last name "Star"! Good luck getting C.U. Piggy!

Edit: Also seems like the Scalfani Mobile blown a tire while on the WARS "tour". I like how Jack made it seem like he's doing the driving and its hard work waiting 2 hours for a tire leak to be repaired, thus rewarding himself with a venti chai latte from Starbucks (53g of sugar).

 

[Quixotic Man]

There are results for the Patrick piggy bank on ebay if you exclude his last name "Star"! Good luck getting C.U. Piggy!

View attachment 2657263

Edit: Also seems like the Scalfani Mobile blown a tire while on the WARS "tour". I like how Jack made it seem like he's doing the driving and its hard work waiting 2 hours for a tire leak to be repaired, thus rewarding himself with a venti chai latte from Starbucks (53g of sugar).

View attachment 2657277

56 grams of carbs from all the sugar and milk too.

I guess a black coffee or tea is too much to ask. Or even just a regular latte to avoid the added sugar.

 

[GloriousRapeRabbit]

God hasn't cured his arm so why would he think God is going to cure people of mental illness?

YET.....not YET! He is surely working on it....aaaaany day now.

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

Maybe Im being a bit harsh but generally people stop giving a fuck about their highschool's sports teams by 21.

 

[Kosher Salt]

Maybe Im being a bit harsh but generally people stop giving a fuck about their highschool's sports teams by 21.

Dad Bod needs to date boys his own age.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Maybe Im being a bit harsh but generally people stop giving a fuck about their highschool's sports teams by 21.

Cali is quickly approaching the body type of a 40 year old man who still can't let go of his highschool football career, so this is fitting.

 

[EvilDroid64]

Edit: Also seems like the Scalfani Mobile blown a tire while on the WARS "tour". I like how Jack made it seem like he's doing the driving and its hard work waiting 2 hours for a tire leak to be repaired, thus rewarding himself with a venti chai latte from Starbucks (53g of sugar).

View attachment 2657277

If it was a simple leak, he could go to Walmart, purchase tire plugs, remove the tire, plug the hole and reinstall the tire. Unfortunately, that is quite difficult without two working hands.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Hi Jack!

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Hi Jack!

View attachment 2657497

This is all of them resolved now, yes?

Jack and /Paul/ are going to have to go back to the drawing board. Bet this is going to really ruin his Carolina WARS tour.

For now though, the Boys Club is Back In Town!