The Cole Smithey Thread

[Ophelia]

I’m just very suprised he hasn’t done an expose on the former goings on in the chandler household for attention.

He’s the type of attention whore who does care what kind of attention he gets. Cole can do the math. Being linked to a disgusting motherfucker is all downside and any spark of attention is not worth it.

 

[Jarvis Cocker]

He’s the type of attention whore who does care what kind of attention he gets. Cole can do the math. Being linked to a disgusting motherfucker is all downside and any spark of attention is not worth it.

I wonder if Cole’s happy about Barb’s (alleged) dementia and rape, the woman emotionally and physically abused him for years.

Also i don’t understand how people have any sympathy for Barb. She deserves the hell she has created for herself.

 

[Tits Warrior]

I thought I would mention this because I'm not sure if any of you know but you probably do, But anyway Cole seems to have bots on Twitter so if somebody searches his name they get the bot stuff on the top not the Chris Chan stuff. I'm sure that Cole thinks that he's outsmarted everyone, But maybe in reality it's just people giving Cole respect by allowing him to think that he's out smarted everyone? I'm not sure but there's a few bots that seem to be posting nonsense with his name in the middle of it. Either he's created them or he's paying a company to do this. I'm surprised none of the users on this form have created bots with Chris Chan facts & Cole Smithey's name attached just to fuck with him. He's obviously gone through great pains to try and make it so when you search for his name nothing he doesn't want you to see comes up first. The first stuff is all his spam to push all of the stuff he doesn't like to the bottom. If you get what I'm saying. Picture is of one of the bots, there seems to be a few others as well

 

[AnOminous]

It's like if Frank Sinatra were constantly followed around by a drooling, nude hunchback; it would totally spoil the impression.

But only if Frank Sinatra were an annoying dipshit hipster retard, because otherwise I would sympathize with Sinatra's situation for the main reason of him being Sinatra.

Instead I find it hilarious that some dipshit calling himself "smartest film critic in the world" is perpetually embarrassed by his retarded mongoloid motherfucker of a half-brother, can't ever escape it, and pretends, unconvincingly, that he isn't from a family of retarded white trash idiots.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

I'm surprised none of the users on this form have created bots with Chris Chan facts & Cole Smithey's name attached just to fuck with him.

Nigga got his abusive mother raped by his demented, 'tarded half-brother, just let him have some peace.

 

[DownSouthBoi]

Cole is a chode but he's not as bad as Chris or Barb so I do feel *some* sympathy. Only some, though.

 

[Tits Warrior]

Nigga got his abusive mother raped by his demented, 'tarded half-brother, just let him have some peace.

Yeah but Cole is also extremely arrogant You read that story in this thread about the kid who ran into him at the grocery store last month right? And yeah I understand the cole is flustered in that situation but he took it out on everyone including the person who worked at the store It was just trying to check him out. Sometimes I think that he deserves to be taught something. But maybe the lack of being able to be taught anything is something that runs in his family. It's in his blood, Look at Chris!

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

Yeah but Cole is also extremely arrogant You read that story in this thread about the kid who ran into him at the grocery store last month right? And yeah I understand the cole is flustered in that situation but he took it out on everyone including the person who worked at the store It was just trying to check him out. Sometimes I think that he deserves to be taught something. But maybe the lack of being able to be taught anything is something that runs in his family. It's in his blood, Look at Chris!

Nha Cole just wants to ignore his family as best as he can, I can understand that it champs his ass that his Brother is more noteable / infamous than he is and I can understand why he's wanting to ignore anything related to them.

 

[DownSouthBoi]

Nha Cole just wants to ignore his family as best as he can, I can understand that it champs his ass that his Brother is more noteable / infamous than he is and I can understand why he's wanting to ignore anything related to them.

Imagine being pretentious and snooty. Also imagine that you understand prestige is hurt by shitty family members. Imagine that Chris Chan is your brother. Now you see why I don’t envy Cole.

 

[Bubbleman]

Yeah but Cole is also extremely arrogant You read that story in this thread about the kid who ran into him at the grocery store last month right? And yeah I understand the cole is flustered in that situation but he took it out on everyone including the person who worked at the store It was just trying to check him out. Sometimes I think that he deserves to be taught something. But maybe the lack of being able to be taught anything is something that runs in his family. It's in his blood, Look at Chris!

lol that story is a copypasta where you just insert any celebrity's name. There one where he says ""huh huh huh" and "to prevent any electrical infetterence” -- right? It didn't actually happen. Gotta admit that copypasta really fits Cole's personality though, almost like it was made for him.

 

[Pappy Striderite]

i keep seeing people posting,
"what an ego! he thinks people would pay to buy him a beer?!"
and on the same page,
"why doesn't cole do paid interviews??"

the fuck, people!? put it together!

with his genes, give him extra credit for even having the ability to think about subtlety.

 

[Tits Warrior]

lol that story is a copypasta where you just insert any celebrity's name. There one where he says ""huh huh huh" and "to prevent any electrical infetterence” -- right? It didn't actually happen. Gotta admit that copypasta really fits Cole's personality though, almost like it was made for him.

Wow it really DOES seem like something Cole would do. Totally believable as real.

I saw <Cole Smithey> at a grocery store in <Midtown Manhattan> yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen <pizza boxes> in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the <pizza boxes> and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each <pizza box> and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

 

[Michael Janke]

Wow it really DOES seem like something Cole would do. Totally believable as real.

I saw <Cole Smithey> at a grocery store in <Midtown Manhattan> yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen <pizza boxes> in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the <pizza boxes> and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each <pizza box> and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

i think for this to seem more believable, you need to add more Cole target edits.
instead of 15 pizzas, its 15 gluten free pizzas.

 

[The Joker]

I wonder if Cole’s happy about Barb’s (alleged) dementia and rape, the woman emotionally and physically abused him for years.

Also i don’t understand how people have any sympathy for Barb. She deserves the hell she has created for herself.

Cole is just another douchy hipster living in NYC. In the past year did try to have a relationship with Barb and even tried to visit her and Chris (Barb only shoved Chris on a flight to California and Cole was likely just forced to babysit his half brother).

He is in the right to go quiet rn since him making any appearance on the internet would cause all the weens to flock to him. The man was raised in an abusive home and the only child his mother actually loved raped her.

 

[AnOminous]

i keep seeing people posting,
"what an ego! he thinks people would pay to buy him a beer?!"
and on the same page,
"why doesn't cole do paid interviews??"

the fuck, people!? put it together!

with his genes, give him extra credit for even having the ability to think about subtlety.

I'm surprised no ween has just taken him up on that craft beer offer, pretended to be humoring his bullshit for about 15 minutes, then just started screaming JULAAAAAY JULAAAAAY as their ween associates ran into the room in pickle suits and threw a beer in his face.

 

[Tits Warrior]

I'm surprised no ween has just taken him up on that craft beer offer, pretended to be humoring his bullshit for about 15 minutes, then just started screaming JULAAAAAY JULAAAAAY as their ween associates ran into the room in pickle suits and threw a beer in his face.

It's like the scene at the restaurant in Vanilla Sky, only Tom Cruise is Cole Smithey and everyone else at the restaurant is there pretending to be normal but really wants info on Chris Chan. https://youtu.be/YnX_iZRFwe0

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

Cole is just another douchy hipster living in NYC. In the past year did try to have a relationship with Barb

If you are talking about that time he sent Barb flowers, I wouldn't be surprised if it was some mongo trolling them and not actually Cole.

 

[The Joker]

If you are talking about that time he sent Barb flowers, I wouldn't be surprised if it was some mongo trolling them and not actually Cole.

That was most definitely a troll.
I meant the times that he came to Chris's 18th birthday and the times he mentioned trying to reach out (during the time Barb lied about who his father was and he just hired a private detective).

 

[Tits Warrior]

That was most definitely a troll.
I meant the times that he came to Chris's 18th birthday and the times he mentioned trying to reach out (during the time Barb lied about who his father was and he just hired a private detective).

 

[Michael Janke]

was Cole telling this guy to fuck off?
also this picture has a few implications
does Cole's encylcopedia dramatica mention a band called the Rockin Dogs, because if it does, he'd know that only a reader of it would know about it
so if it is on there, it confirms he's read his ED Page