Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[PotatoSalad4711]

Sorry guys I started reading Scottie for examples of Amberlynn being terrible at describing stuff, and I can't stop.
View attachment 2660417
There's ninety one chapters of this, please send help.

I may have to join y’all in hell and actually read this thing. Halloween is still a few days away, but close enough.

I really enjoyed her description of the hospital. I know every time I get stabbed, it’s so embarrassing when I accidentally walk into the broken bone ER. I’m sure we’ve all been there.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Sorry I just can't, old friend. I just found proof that she wrote this in the last four years and not when she was 17 like she tells everyone she did. Or maybe she did write it when she was 17 and this is some sort of twisted almanac of the Amberverse.

She mentions H1N1 in the previous post you made. The world H1N1 Swine Flu epidemic was 2009/2010. The terminology wouldn't have been widely used by the public before it became a public health crisis.

It was very newsworthy at the time.

I wonder if she keeps updating it, because it's such a work of genius that has to be left to posterity. Somehow, that'd be even funnier...

I know the likelihood of this seeing an editor is on the level with her becoming a true skinny legend, but I can dream. This won't end up at the bottom of a slush-pile, it will be recognised as true genius and make its way up the chain until one day the Cheesebeast gets an email:-

"Dear Amby,

Whilst your like novel is most definitely like a shoe-in for the like Booker, I feel we should like perhaps change just a like tiny smidge. Is that like ok with you booboo? Like, a little change moment on some of the like descriptors, and perhaps a like look at the punctuation situation? Only if it's ok with you, like of course. You go, gorl!!!!! "

Like yours sincerely, etc."


I'm sure she sees it going this way, full of praise and admiration and her as the final orfority. Nowhere in our girl's dreams are curt emails saying "it's crap. Do it again" and it'd be just awful if someone told her that's what happens in RealLand.

Or some bitch wrote it on 't farms and she sees it during her secret forays hidden under the blankets in the closet Jade has put her in at night. She's been told not to look at the thread any more and knows Jade's fury will be dire but she just can't stop herself having a tiny peek. The light won''t show under the door, will it? And our gorl feverishly checks the thread, keeping one vigilant eye on the door and her ears alert to the sounds of her beloved shagging some bloke she's shipped in. Amber knows she's safe as long as the bed is squeaking...

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

Aaaand I'm out. Semper fucking Fi y'all.

 

[Owlflaps]

I think I got to two chapters before my brain clocked out for it's lunch break. I wish I can mock Amber's writing. But that would be like a punching a downie. It doesn't feel satisfying.

 

[brooky]

She thinks hospitals have DOZENS of emergency rooms for different emergencies and the patients have to find the right one to go to. And the bigger the hospital = the more emergency rooms?? Some poor guy with a bullet in his skull wandering around not being helped because he's in the cough-cough ER.

Astounding.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

I think I got to two chapters before my brain clocked out for it's lunch break. I wish I can mock Amber's writing. But that would be like a punching a downie. It doesn't feel satisfying.

Yes it does, my wee feathered frendo. Honest

You know I'd never lead you astray. I'm adorable™ Besides, she's so mind-meltingly boring now - and how does that even work? Every era we think "can't be less boring than*..." but somehow it always is - that at least @C3PBRO has reminded us of the good old days.


*I swear she'd still have an audience of tards tuning in to throw money at her if she just fatted there silently with the occasional belch. "You're so strong/empathic/lardy" with a series of the more pathetic emojis and superchats flung at her every time she breathed wheezed. Uhmazeen. She could be propped up there dead and they'd still YASSSS GOOORL at her festering corpse.

 

[weedcum]

Eta: whatdefuck is a "well doctor?" Do doctors treat wells? What ailments could wells possibly suffer from and you absolute bastard, you have sucked me in now HEEEEEEEEEELP

that's like the cheapest doctor, like how when you order well vodka and you get some hand sanitizer from minnesota

 

[PotatoSalad4711]

All the things I think I learned from trying to read this:
-Every female only wears a pink or white spaghetti strap top, but sometimes a sweatshirt that is always too big.
-Scottie’s 14-year-old sister is a huge slut (I know this, because she’s referred to as slutty at least once every two chapters).
-Rosebud Hospital not only has the most ER’s per capita, but they also don’t have HIPAA laws, because they give out personal info to whoever the fuck comes along.
-The allegedly skinny main character has some weird food tastes, like pairing hamburgers with garlic pasta.
-Scottie falls for the fat girl in class with green eyes and long hair (if this doesn’t prove that Amber is in love with herself, I don’t know what does).
-Making out with your friend while her girlfriend is in the hospital with amnesia is totally cool.
-If you’re a teen and pregnant, the only appropriate way to reveal this to your mom is to go over to a friend’s house for dinner and take off your sweatshirt to reveal your baby bump.
-I now have brain damage. Thanks, Amber.

And the award for Best Comment goes to...

 

[toilet_rainbow]

The fact that we're talking about a super old piece of Amber's "writing" versus her latest live really goes to show just how goddamned boring she's become. The writing is hysterical even if it wasn't by AL's hand, so it's far more interesting by default.

 

[brooky]

I honestly wish she would write more. At least she was doing something "creative" and "using" her "brain."

Did she ever finish that haiku she was thinking about earlier this year?

 

[Meiwaku]

Did she ever finish that haiku she was thinking about earlier this year?

You don't rush greatness

 

[Mom_Is_A_Problem]

Sorry I just can't, old friend. I just found proof that she wrote this in the last four years and not when she was 17 like she tells everyone she did. Or maybe she did write it when she was 17 and this is some sort of twisted almanac of the Amberverse. Who knows what else I might find. Amber's other adopted brother. The journal with the free pen we saw that one time. Or Becky's ears.
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Holy shit, this is rough.

- Badly constructed sentences
- Misused/Abused punctuation
- Perspective switch
- Poorly formed similes

When you're writing something for an audience it shouldn't be a fucking chore to read.

She does this a lot, actually.

It's a fun, if autistic, game to sit down and try to work out the thesaurus trail sometimes. Good --> Well is easy, but she'll start off with a word like... I don't know. "Shiny," say, and end up going Shiny --> Polished --> Cultured --> Sophisticated and end up describing the Christmas orrna-mints as "cosmopolitan" or some shit because she doesn't English super good.

I'm going to have to try that sometime. Hell, maybe she's onto something. I might want to try out her technique-->delivery-->freightage one day.

Edit: Because I care about my grammar usage damnit.

 

[Kier Starmer]

But is the punctuation is abused as she was?

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Did she ever finish that haiku she was thinking about earlier this year?

Our man on the ground reported back. Read this and weep at its sonorous beauty, exquisite imagery and lyrical expresserationativityness:-


Fud fud fud fud fud
Fud fud buns fud fud fud fud
Fud fud fud fud fud


Everything went quiet after that. Either he was stunned into silence by this creative behemoth, or fifty two thousand unbelievably naff journals fell on him.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

But is the punctuation is abused as she was?

Her grammar had semicolon cancer, but they removed it through its period hole.

 

[Tiny Clanger]

Her grammar had semicolon cancer, but they removed it through its period hole.

And then her hyphen was restored. Cos dainty.



(I'm really very sorry. I'll take myself outside and have me shot.)

 

[StupidStore]

91 Chapters just to get "To be continued." How am I supposed to go on, not knowing what happens to Scottie, slutty Samantha and the lesbian that forgot she was a lesbian?

At least we know the last time she updated was 2017 so our girl was well into her 20's when she wrote this garbage.

 

[Lucille's Brands]

Her grammar had semicolon cancer, but they removed it through its period hole.

And then her hyphen was restored. Cos dainty.



(I'm really very sorry. I'll take myself outside and have me shot.)

Sounds painful. Hope they put her in an induced Comma at the Vaginal Emergency Room. The whole incident sounds like an absolute Apostrophe.

(I'll get me coat..)

 

[ADHD]

Amber is live:

Ouch.


Archive:

 

[McBoogerBall]

Amber is live:

No fucking clue what drove these tards to pay 7 dollars a month to comment shit like this, especially in a fat woman’s livestream. Get a fucking grip.
I feel the same way when watching Amberlynn too, Evelyn