Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Dollar Store Sentai]

Oh look, the unemployable crippled man is spending his workday flipping through a catalog designed for children. And of course the guy that somehow manages to bring politics into cooking videos is complaining when he thinks other people are doing it.

The catalog is available here if anyone wants to try to figure out what he means. I skimmed it but didn't see anything that would enrage him enough to make a Facebook post. Hopefully Rob will jump into the comments so we can figure out what the hell he's going on about.

Edit: I've now looked at the entire thing because apparently I have nothing important to do in life. I figured there were boys playing with dolls or something, but almost entirely nope. It's a still the typical 1950s toys/gender stereotypes. The only things I could find that could trigger him: 1) a girl playing with matchbox cars; a female GI joe action figure (there were still multiple male figures); and 3) racially diverse child models. That's all in 88 fucking pages. It's not like there was a full page spread for "WOKE: The Board Game" or something. Is that really enough to enrage Jack? Is his life that empty?

I really hope someone asks him about it. I want him to admit that he didn't like it because there were pictures of black children.

This would be my guess on what he's bitching about

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

Just a daily reminder to you all that I hope Jack dies soon.

 

[stets]

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Of course the only way he can eat veggies is if they're deep fried and smothered in seasonings.

Mushbrain is not fooling anybody. You want something like this with less fat? Toss your cauliflower in some neutral tasting oil, bake in a hot oven until golden brown and then toss in your seasonings.

 

[Buck Mullet]

As someone who developed a caffeine sensitivity and tachycardia from downing multiple cans of monsters a day, the caffeine from coffee will not kill you. The energy drinks absolutely can. My doctor says stick to coffee if you really need the caffeine. Energy drinks have tons of other additives on top of the caffeine which is why they are so unhealthy compared to drinking regular coffee. In Jack's case I am surprised his doctor didn't tell him to quit caffeine altogether. The last thing he needs is an elevated resting heart rate after having multiple strokes. He is putting unnecessary pressure on his arteries.

Stay away from the energy drinks kiddos you really will fuck your shit up.

No joke. I knew a guy who used to down at least three Monster energy drinks every day at work, plus coffee in the mornings or when it was cold out. Dude worked out and was pretty buff, I think he thought he was in good health. But one night he went to bed and never woke up, had a brain aneurysm in his sleep at age 45. They never definitively tied it to his regular consumption of so many energy drinks, but I'd bet he'd still be alive had he never touched them.

 

[buttvomit]

i like how he opens the one jar of spice with his teeth, like fucking open before you film or edit that gross shit out.

 

[Adamska]

View attachment 2660970

-He’s afraid to release his location for BBQ wars because of trolls.
-He stopped his live chats because of criticism.
-He moderates comments because he’s thin skinned.

Far be it from me to judge, but yeah Jack, I think 23 and Me has you pegged.

Also, did it tell you your Mom was a railroad hobo and whore too?

Is Jack lashing out over the fact that he's obviously the Mexican Milkman's son too? Because that's the same service that showed that he's over 10% Arab. Why did he even bother with this fear of public speaking thing anyway, to own people pointing out he's not given out locations for his Gluttony Wars or something?

 

[p1138]

Holy fuck, he had never eaten seasoned cauliflower before? Why can't he just buy cauliflower? Instead it's more bagged pre-cut shit.

Pepper, cumin, coriander, smoked paprika... I'm actually surprised he's got some of this shit on hand. Oh wait, he didn't, the 3 bottles besides the 1 pound jug of smoked paprika are all brand new.

Ah, he wants to pretend to be fancy with a spice grinder. Oooooh.

Tells us to cut up the cauliflower... he didn't cut up shit, he just dumped it out of the bag.

Uses way more coconut oil(who the fuck fries with coconut oil?) than necessary. And is then surprised that the cauliflower shrank as it cooked. Further proof that Jack doesn't eat vegetables. Then pours his spice mix into it. This didn't need to be a 10 fucking minute long video. 4, 5 tops.

He looks disgusted and confused while eating it. His brain cannot handle the concept of consuming vegetables without meat and/or cheese with them.

"What would I do different, fry it longer, pat it dry" why couldn't you have checked one as it came out of the pan and determined they needed more time to cook before dumping seasoning all over them?

9:47 Oh god, I just realized what he's doing and what he did when he took the first bite. He's sticking out of tongue and bouncing the piece of food off of it to "taste" it? Nobody does this Jack. Where did you see this and assume that was how people tasted food? You're just licking the fucking seasoning off of the piece of cauliflower.

9:51 The plate is now empty. No, I don't believe for a moment your fatass sat there and ate all of that cauliflower. You dumped it into the big purple bowl so we can't see it.

10:04 "I'll be making a batch of that soon" YOU JUST MADE A BATCH YOU MUSHBRAINED FUCK

 

[AnOminous]

i like how he opens the one jar of spice with his teeth, like fucking open before you film or edit that gross shit out.

Remember this drooling idiot only has one functional arm.

 

[Delilah Radio Show]

View attachment 2661326

This would be my guess on what he's bitching about

Jack clutching his pearls over diversity is ironic, I thought he loved all colors! Especially pink.

Anyways, that cauliflower video was atrocious–his insistence on pronouncing it "cawlyflower" not withstanding. Complete soggy mush; you just know it went straight into the trash afterwards. Why on earth did he use a spice grinder for this shit and the half-ass the rest of it? No no, don't tell me, I already know the answer.

 

[Neko GF]

Archive (480p):

 

[Kermit Jizz]

>pours a shitload of coomin seeds into a grinder
>wow the smell of coomin is stronger than everything else
No fucking shit dumbass.

What's with his aversion to veg oil? I've never heard of someone specifically not liking it.

 

[Sonic T]

Just a daily reminder to you all that I hope Jack dies soon.

He's gonna choke to death on his limp arm, after attempting to eat it because he ran out of ways to fuck up bacon by microwaving it.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

What's with his aversion to veg oil? I've never heard of someone specifically not liking it.

Most vegetable and seed oils are inflammatory

 

[Spasticus Autisticus]

Jack lying out his fat ass about being inspired by the "Allstralian" restaurant. There's one reason and one reason only he's doing this recipe: so he can pretend he's still dieting. Ignore all of the pizza, burgers, etc. he's had recently, he's totally keto gaiz! He really isn't selling it well either. "I don't think you'll hate it, it just won't be your cup of tea" -- yeah he really didn't like this.

Just over two minutes of Jack awkwardly opening the spice containers. He has to leave this in to pretend his arm still works. Fatty can't figure out how the lift & peel tabs work so he bites it off. Now that entire container is contaminated. "I love coomin"

Mushbrain is really strong in this video, he interrupts himself constantly and just says whatever comes to mind. "It's totally raining outside, it's weird!" Uh, yeah, OK Jack.

"It's a little soggy" Yeah those are as mushy as his brain. They were not "beautifully seasoned", he just kind of half-assedly poured some on top and stirred it a little bit. They should have been tossed in an oil and spice mixture, and I would have roasted them in the oven instead of pan-frying. It seems like he ripped off some Indian cauliflower recipe but Jacked it up by taking a bunch of other ingredients out.

 

[Adamska]

Holy fuck, he had never eaten seasoned cauliflower before? Why can't he just buy cauliflower? Instead it's more bagged pre-cut shit.

Because Jack is horrendously lazy and doesn't want to and can't get his Mommy-Wife to cut his cauliflower for him. Why bother when the store does it for him is his motto.

Pepper, cumin, coriander, smoked paprika... I'm actually surprised he's got some of this shit on hand. Oh wait, he didn't, the 3 bottles besides the 1 pound jug of smoked paprika are all brand new.

Ah, he wants to pretend to be fancy with a spice grinder. Oooooh.

It's a spite reflex over people saying he doesn't use fresh spices is my guess, since his last few videos are basically spite responses at the PC and LM podcasts which mock him.

I'm actually surprised he bothered to use peppercorns, though not surprised he tried to use a coffee grinder rather than a proper spice grinder for it.

Tells us to cut up the cauliflower... he didn't cut up shit, he just dumped it out of the bag.

Uses way more coconut oil(who the fuck fries with coconut oil?) than necessary. And is then surprised that the cauliflower shrank as it cooked. Further proof that Jack doesn't eat vegetables. Then pours his spice mix into it. This didn't need to be a 10 fucking minute long video. 4, 5 tops.

Jack doesn't understand the concept of "different sizes = different cook times".

And yeah, I don't know why the hell he used coconut oil of all things other than he probably made this video to LARP how he's dieting and he fell for the lie that "Coconut Oil is healthy". It isn't by the way; it actually has the highest saturated fat content of all plant based oils. On top of that it has one of the shittiest smoke points I ever saw; even olive oil has a higher smoke point.

I think fatty just wanted fat.

He looks disgusted and confused while eating it. His brain cannot handle the concept of consuming vegetables without meat and/or cheese with them.

He's dead set on pretending everything he makes tastes good, even when he's trying to go back to Old Jack and how he'd admit if he made something he didn't like.

"What would I do different, fry it longer, pat it dry" why couldn't you have checked one as it came out of the pan and determined they needed more time to cook before dumping seasoning all over them?

I only needed to look for a single second to know they weren't remotely done yet since they were barely browning. Again, Fat Jack is terrified of char unless it's on meat for some retarded reason.

9:47 Oh god, I just realized what he's doing and what he did when he took the first bite. He's sticking out of tongue and bouncing the piece of food off of it to "taste" it? Nobody does this Jack. Where did you see this and assume that was how people tasted food? You're just licking the fucking seasoning off of the piece of cauliflower.

9:51 The plate is now empty. No, I don't believe for a moment your fatass sat there and ate all of that cauliflower. You dumped it into the big purple bowl so we can't see it.

On the former: this just continues to fuel my belief that Jack lived locked in the basement and was thrown turkey necks at by his mommy who hates him theory. It's the only way that he'd learn to use his tongue to drag food down his throat.

On the latter: fuck yeah he chucked them. No way the natural stank of cauliflower was cooked out of in the time he cooked it.

10:04 "I'll be making a batch of that soon" YOU JUST MADE A BATCH YOU MUSHBRAINED FUCK

The only one Fatty Doo Doo is successfully lying to is himself.

>pours a shitload of coomin seeds into a grinder
>wow the smell of coomin is stronger than everything else
No fucking shit dumbass.

What's with his aversion to veg oil? I've never heard of someone specifically not liking it.

He put way too much cumin seeds into this mix given it's a fairly strong spice already. It isn't cardamom or turmeric strong, but it has potence enough that you don't need a lot to get it going. As for his fear of vegetable oil? I think it's him just diet LARPing and he really just doesn't care.

Jack lying out his fat ass about being inspired by the "Allstralian" restaurant. There's one reason and one reason only he's doing this recipe: so he can pretend he's still dieting. Ignore all of the pizza, burgers, etc. he's had recently, he's totally keto gaiz! He really isn't selling it well either. "I don't think you'll hate it, it just won't be your cup of tea" -- yeah he really didn't like this.

It's been a while since I've seen the Fat on the Go where he went to Hearts, but I don't remember him really liking the food there either, for all he lied about he did. This was literally him getting angy that no one believes him that he's dieting, or to try and pretend he does since he's going to shove 50+ pounds of red meat down his throat for Fat on the Go "Gluttony War pt 6".

Just over two minutes of Jack awkwardly opening the spice containers. He has to leave this in to pretend his arm still works. Fatty can't figure out how the lift & peel tabs work so he bites it off. Now that entire container is contaminated. "I love coomin"

Glad I'm not the only one who giggled at that bit, since Jack only feels sexual pleasure when he shoves a big rod of smoked meat down his throat, gukgukguking all the while.

Mushbrain is really strong in this video, he interrupts himself constantly and just says whatever comes to mind. "It's totally raining outside, it's weird!" Uh, yeah, OK Jack.

"It's a little soggy" Yeah those are as mushy as his brain. They were not "beautifully seasoned", he just kind of half-assedly poured some on top and stirred it a little bit. They should have been tossed in an oil and spice mixture, and I would have roasted them in the oven instead of pan-frying. It seems like he ripped off some Indian cauliflower recipe but Jacked it up by taking a bunch of other ingredients out.

Spot on with where he fucked up cooking this. I tend to shake and bake or stir in my spices as my veg soaks in oil for a reason.

 

[Aunt Myrna]

What's with his aversion to veg oil? I've never heard of someone specifically not liking it.

Not enough saturated fat for Jack's taste.
I was awestruck when he started shoveling in the coconut oil. Who does that?

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Most vegetable and seed oils are inflammatory

Oh I get it, it's another keto-tier cope for him. "I'm not going to use the vegetable oil cause muh inflations, but I'll use half a pound of another 'healthier' oil instead"

"It's a little soggy" Yeah those are as mushy as his brain. They were not "beautifully seasoned", he just kind of half-assedly poured some on top and stirred it a little bit. They should have been tossed in an oil and spice mixture, and I would have roasted them in the oven instead of pan-frying. It seems like he ripped off some Indian cauliflower recipe but Jacked it up by taking a bunch of other ingredients out.

The recipe is just fried cauliflower, it's actually really damn good when done well. Not only did he fuck it up by using way too much oil making it mush, but as you would expect in an Indian dish they use about a dozen different spices. When done properly the cauliflower will be a yellow-orange color from all the spices, which will vary a lot based on the recipe but would normally include things like turmeric and mustard seeds. Of course mushbrain had to skip out on the majority of spices since his spice cabinet is as diverse as he wants children's toys to be. Motherfucker didn't even have coriander on hand.

@Adamska

He put way too much cumin seeds into this mix given it's a fairly strong spice already. It isn't cardamom or turmeric strong, but it has potence enough that you don't need a lot to get it going. As for his fear of vegetable oil? I think it's him just diet LARPing and he really just doesn't care.

Yeah I was mortified when he poured in that much. That's how much powdered cumin I'd use in a big recipe that includes like 10 other spices. That much freshly ground with almost nothing else to balance it out? Just more affirmation that his taste buds are completely blown out, no normal human could palette that.

 

[Eljudnir]

No salt, again. What the fuck.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

No salt, again. What the fuck.

It's bad seasoning practice, yes, but do we really want him to eat even more salt than he already does?