Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Dondeld Dock]

Hi Jack!

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I am so glad, even if they should not had banned those videos in the first place.

 

[raticate]

 

[DX10]

I mean if you take something like 300 - 600 mg of it you could potentially have your heart just say "FUCK IT" and shit out from tachycardia. It can cause damage, especially if you're not used to caffeine or you already have a shit heart or you just keep slamming them down.

Oh fug that's basically my daily intake.

When me and Jack stroke out for good I'll report on Jack's activity in third circle.

300-400MG is considered to be entirely safe for anyone who has safely consumed like, 100-200MG before. Generally people who suffer ill effects from caffeine have doses in excess of 500MG but even then your chances of a heart attack or anything like that are pretty low if you haven't had one before. If you have pre-existing conditions (LIKE JACK DOES) then uhhhhh...

Generally those kids you read about whose hearts explode when they drink a Red Bull either drink like 5+ cans and end up dosing past 500MG real fast, or they had a previously undocumented issue that was exacerbated by them drinking a seriously stimulating drink. The FDA suggest a maximum of 400MG per day per adult, and this can raise with tolerance, though personally speaking from experience, past 400Mg is when you start feeling caffeine toxicity, and that shit is incredibly fucking miserable. You just feel like toxic waste.

It's all about timing of intake too -- 300-400MG in one sitting (BANG is literal poison.) is really fucking dreadful for you, but 300-400MG over the course of a day, spaced out as in the case of yer boomer dad drinking five cups, will probably just have you stimulated and buzzing.

 

[GoodFattyDeadFatty]

The man toddler jokes just keep writing themselves.

 

[stets]

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The man toddler jokes just keep writing themselves.

Oh look, the unemployable crippled man is spending his workday flipping through a catalog designed for children. And of course the guy that somehow manages to bring politics into cooking videos is complaining when he thinks other people are doing it.

The catalog is available here if anyone wants to try to figure out what he means. I skimmed it but didn't see anything that would enrage him enough to make a Facebook post. Hopefully Rob will jump into the comments so we can figure out what the hell he's going on about.

Edit: I've now looked at the entire thing because apparently I have nothing important to do in life. I figured there were boys playing with dolls or something, but almost entirely nope. It's a still the typical 1950s toys/gender stereotypes. The only things I could find that could trigger him: 1) a girl playing with matchbox cars; a female GI joe action figure (there were still multiple male figures); and 3) racially diverse child models. That's all in 88 fucking pages. It's not like there was a full page spread for "WOKE: The Board Game" or something. Is that really enough to enrage Jack? Is his life that empty?

I really hope someone asks him about it. I want him to admit that he didn't like it because there were pictures of black children.

 

[desudesu]

Oh look, the unemployable obese man is spending his workday flipping through a catalog designed for children. And of course the guy that somehow manages to bring politics into cooking videos is complaining when he thinks other people are doing it.

The catalog is available here if anyone wants to try to figure out what he means. I skimmed it but didn't see anything even remotely triggering to someone like Jack. Hopefully Rob will jump into the comments so we can figure out what the hell he's going on about.

One look at the catalog and I knew its the inclusion of the "urban people" for the dolls and child models that triggered Jack, ironically being an Amerimutt himself.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

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The man toddler jokes just keep writing themselves.

Does Jagoff have a very young grandson or granddaughter we don’t know about? Why the hell is he looking through a toy catalog exactly??

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

He's clearly referring to the increased presence of black/brown/Asian dolls, action toys and human models, as well as more children's books oriented towards minority issues.

It annoys me because I'm cynical enough to believe corporations have made this pivot especially strongly since the George Floyd/BLM stuff mainly as a cynical profit play to cater towards upper-crust white liberals and upwardly-mobile minorities, and not from any real desire for "racial equity" or "social justice". Even then I think it's stupid to complain about it, because it's such a boring and milquetoast social issue to try and die on a hill for (like who really wants to complain "there are too many black girl dolls" lmao).

And like @desu91 said it's especially ironic coming from a half-breed like Jack himself.

 

[Fialovy]

View attachment 2660329
The man toddler jokes just keep writing themselves.

Ummmm... why was Jack even flipping through the toy catalogue in the first place? Does he even play with toys still? I mean, the only reason an adult should browse the toy catalogue is if they have a child that they need to get a gift for which Jack doesn't have any small children in his life that he needs toys for.

More proof that Jack is a manbaby

 

[desudesu]

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Wtf is he eating!? It looks like raw squid or a body part from an eldritch horror creature.

 

[EvilDroid64]

Wtf is he eating!? It looks like raw squid or a body part from an eldritch horror creature.

"Witch's Hair & Maggots"

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

Rob rules

 

[p1138]

One look at the catalog and I knew its the inclusion of the "urban people" for the dolls and child models that triggered Jack, ironically being an Amerimutt himself.

Yeah, knowing that Jack is a racist, that's really the only thing I see in the catalog that stands out. There's no weird they/them thing going on that I can see, there's no boys playing with barbie dolls. It really is just the number of non-white kids, and brown dolls setting him off.

 

[Kosher Salt]

Why does Starbucks always taste like it sat in a carafe burning to the bottom for a week? So nasty. There’s no amount of cream or sugar you can put in to fix that shit.

Because that flavor is reproducible. That's why.

They don't have to worry about some incompetent barista fucking it up.

Does Jagoff have a very young grandson or granddaughter we don’t know about? Why the hell is he looking through a toy catalog exactly??

To be fair, that catalog is geared toward approximately his age level (stroked out as he is).

Rob rules

Rob flies dangerously close to the sun.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Rob rules

God I love Rob. I hope he doesn't get banned for this.

Jack won't reply though. Stroked out as he is, Jack knows enough not to go full /Paul/ in public. If he does reply, he'll be vague as hell, just like when people seethe about some random ass Marvel movie having a black female lesbian but they don't outright say they hate black, females, and/or lesbians, they just scream, "WOKE."

 

[rubytintedchix]

"Witch's Hair & Maggots"

We’ll be watching all of the Halloween classics on this week’s livestream.

Rob rules

Jack plays with GI Joes dollies confirmed.

 

[DontEatThat]

I like to think as Tammy was preparing for her day of actual work and escape from Jack, he was crying like the bitch he is about being hungry and what he was going to do. Her maternal instincts kick in and she just straight up treats him as if he was a child and gives him some shit that will placate him. Fortunately for him Jack is essentially a child in the body of a dying middle aged man so a toy catalogue and some fresh juice with a snack to enjoy while watching Nick Jr will make Jack more than happy.

Im sure some part of him wants to still feel like a big boy and be treated like an adult so he has to find something to complain about to make it look like he can adult. However when youre a literal man child where everyone in your life barely tolerates you, coddles your "business" ventures and treats you as if you are seven year old you really have no opinion in the world around you.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

"Witch's Hair & Maggots"

This recipe is making me MATI. Good squid ink pasta has a slightly briny, fishy flavor that isn't actually very strong and it's best with a light sauce so the flavor of the pasta comes through. So Jack makes a thick, gloppy cream and cheese gravy with half a bottle of white wine and burnt garlic. And of course it wouldn't be complete without two giant bags of rubbery, overcooked shrimp for one pound of pasta.

"My mouth's watering!" yeah it's because all you can think about is getting a closeup shot of you stuffing your poz hole with meat and thick, slimy ooze. I hate this man.

EDIT: "Don't let anyone ruin your holiday" The only one ruining your holidays is you when your limbs rot off and your heart explodes from your constant diet of garbage. Die Jack.

 

[Schmuck of Ages]

Jack you of all people don't need these.

 

[GentlemanFaggot]

Jack you of all people dont need these.

Lil Smokies?

I thought if anything from all those phallic turkey necks he chowed down on that he'd be a size queen.