- Joined
- Aug 2, 2021
It's like they took the 'Calarts can't do hands' feedback seriously and decided to hire a pro to do hands specifically...
High Guardian Spice - Tumblr: The CalArt Anime
- Thread starter cans.wav
- Start date
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2017
I'm just about to start the first episode, I just had to waste some time doing this first.
I don't think I'll be editing this post the next time around, but here's your proof I'm doing it. See you on the other side.
I don't think I'll be editing this post the next time around, but here's your proof I'm doing it. See you on the other side.
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2017
So I didn't die, I just... wow. Just wow. This was something to behold. Like the bar was so low that we knew this was bad just from a glance and from what would come out from it, but to experience an episode fully is just...
I'm astounded this was even allowed to come out looking like this. This shit wouldn't even fly in the 2000s, and you can tell Flash animated shows were shat out on the dime, but they had more heart and soul to it, as well as had actual talent.
Also many apologies, but I don't have a way to make clips right now, you'll have to put up with my infodump frame-by-frame snapshots, but it should roughly give you an idea of what you're looking at. You'll more-or-less have to take my word for it.
We're off to a great start, guys. The animation is like barely nonexistent. Hair barely moves except in bunches, grass stalks just nudge, and their dresses and hat peak doesn't even flow. This is six seconds into the episode. SIX. SECONDS.
Rosemary is a fucking bitch for interrupting Sage like that. That's not how you “finish each other's sentences”.
I just realized Rosemary's voice-actress is trying to sound like a shounen protagonist. That's not the kind of voice I imagined coming out of that character design, legit. I imagined her more high-pitched and screechy.
“Lel quirky clumsy behavior! You girls are so charming!”
Also holy shit look at Sage's dad.
Is that what soy wizards look like? My God.
Also the characters don't look like they fit with the backdrops. They look like those plastic sticker-thingies you just overlay on a backdrop during the story or something like that. I dunno how to explain it or what it's even called, but my grandparents had a Winnie the Pooh thing where the characters were plastic cut-outs that, through the power of static electricity or something, would stick to the backdrop however you pleased. I hope I'm explaining this right.
“And remember: studying is just as important as socializing.” Who the fuck says that in natural conversation, and to their daughter, no less?
“Chompy”. Really? That's what you're going to call a Mimic?
Is that a goat-frog? What the fuck is that goat.
Opening song is so dull, but I can't take snapshots of everything about it just to show off how inconsistent everything looks. I don't think the same person even drew the entirety of the OP. You'll just have to trust me.
What the fuck is that? A moose-horse?
And then the ogre squeezes them so hard their heads pop off, and he makes off like a bandit with their left socks.
Guys, this caravan/trolley/thingy is so fucking stiff. There is no weight to this thing at all. There's no weight to anything.
The fuck even is that.
This is the POV of a telescope that's sticking out of that... thingy up there. There's no sense of movement to be had here. They're moving upwards and there's just no 3D space. Were the animators just not implementing multiplane?
What irks me about this shot is that this is going to be used in all of the collages of the Rosemary/Sage ship because two girls can't hold hands as friends. No, they have to hold hands as girlfriends. That's the only reason I can think of as to why they had to include this shot when we know literally nothing about these two's relationship.
Ha ha, comedic relief! Sorry, I forgot how to laugh.
The broom flight is so fucking slow, if just because the “blur effect” to give the illusion of motion wasn't used well enough. There's some semblance of wind dynamics through the direction of the dresses and hair, but the backgrounds break that immersion. As does Chompy's presence in the scene. He breaks all sense of immersion in every scene he's in.
Yeah, case in point that there has to always be “uwu fluffy lesbian moments” to appease shippers. And there will be shippers, and they were the ones who made this.
Gag me.
The butch lesbian is Sage's cousin what's-her-face I legit forgot her name already. Even if we hadn't already been told about it, they're obviously lesbians because two women can't cohabit together if they're not lesbians according to Raye.
“Is sleep a food?”
Geddit? Rosemary is a fatty glutton!
So “new magic” is in the form of this “terrasphere” marble thingy that tesseracts new dimension space into the present plane? Why do they have to artificially forge new space like that? Like yeah, I know a popular trope when it comes to magical houses and such with witches is that the inside of a house is always bigger than it looks from the outside because witches can manipulate space like that. But they also tend to have magical doors or hidden rooms that just seemingly naturally coexist in the walls of the house. What if Rosemary and Sage leave the room and don't have access to the terrasphere to open it back up? Is there a backup spell or entrance to get into their rooms so it's not permanently closed off to them? (And it's like that for all the rooms, too, not just the guest bedroom. Like how is that even considered convenient?)
Or maybe it's a closed-off space so the cousins can loudly scissor each other without waking up anyone else staying over for the night. Just a thought.
Oh my God, Rosemary has EARS!
Lol her mom looks stumpy.
HOW
HOW DOES A SWORD GET THROWN LIKE THAT
Lesbian wedding photo where butch dyke takes on the masculine role of groom and that means she wears the pants in the family as well as throws the first punches. (Also lol manlet.)
This looks like someone pasted together random magazine images into the scene. Holy shit, this conflicted art composition is driving me nuts.
Look at it. Look at it andlaugh cringe with disgust.
“MMMMMMMM??”
They couldn't even draw puppy-dog or teary eyes for her begging mode.
“I like her. I hope you're up for some grooming later, dear, because I need some nubile pussy to keep your elven puss-puss from aging like milk."
What the fuck is that, a tiger-ferret?
"We'll be back by dusk!"
“Don't get killed!”
I'm sorry, what? Why would you even say that? You couldn't say “Be careful, stay safe?”
Then again, Rosemary in the next shot says excitedly the tiger-ferret thingy might have rabies and decides to go run after it. What a dumbass.
How do you not feel your pendant being yanked out of its chain? Does NOTHING in this series have any sense of weight to them?
These are the four frames that make up of her just turning around to walk away. I'm dead serious, it's legit janky in movement.
Once again, it's like these characters don't fit in the scene. They're literally weightless, they're just walking and standing around on a one-dimensional plane. Anime is known for being animated on the cheap and fast, but even low-quality anime understands the concept of perspective and 3D space on a 2D plane.
“You have a locket with a picture of cheesecake inside it.”
You can't be serious??? Rosemary is THAT much of a gluttonous dumbass? Unless she's throwing Sage off (why would she do that when she apparently knows everything about her past—I guess?), that's not even a good kind of “lul random” that this show apparently wants to throw at us.
The fuck is that? An aye-aye potato?
So giants exist in this world, and they think they can pull this kind of perspective off oh-so naturally. The animation already proved fuck-all that this can even be competently done, so this “reveal” is just utterly useless. Why even show this off anyway? What's the point?
Man, if only Sage had Chompy with her so they could ride a broom to catch the little bugger faster.
Holy shit, the camera angle is at ground level here, but the characters are at practically eyelevel with the viewer.
And to prove further inconsistency:
I should probably lay off pointing these things out further, but the show won't stop reminding me of these terrible shots.
Oh God Rosemary WAS serious. What the FUCK is with this script?
Also I don't know how to describe the sound composition of this... thing. I swear I'm hearing squeak toys in the mix.
…..
Y'know, magical creatures can be whatever you want them to be.
Problem is when you leave your audience in the dust and say “Figure it out, assholes”. So what, are these trixies or whatever-the-fuck it's called Pokémon fairies/pixies/sprites?
I FUCKING CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT
THEY DIDN'T SHOW THEM SWITCHING PLACES, IT'S JUST A HARD CUT
HOLY SHIT SHE'S UPSET OVER THIS
Her locket with a picture of CHEESECAKE being ripped apart is supposed to be SAD.
: You silly, stupid Kiwi, you should've waited for the BAIT AND SWITCH! BAZINGA!
…
...So why did Rosemary pull Sage along like that into thinking it was just a picture of cheesecake? Why fold it SO PRECISELY that only cheesecake is seen when opened? If it's to throw off any potential thieves or something, that's pants-on-head 'tarded.
: Don't question it, you bigot! Don't you know your storytelling 101? ALWAYS SUBVERT YOUR EXPECTATIONS! ヽ( ﾟ ヮﾟ)ﾉ *:･ﾟ'✿,｡･:*:❀･ﾟ'❁
“Rose, why didn't you tell me?”
[Rosemary proceeds to not tell her why]
Sure, expectations subverted.
INCONSISTENCYYYYYYYY
If she's a dwarf, that means Sage and Rosemary are fucking midgets for their age.
Also INCONSISTENCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Parsley has to be heavily inspired/based off of Pudding from Tokyo Mew Mew, I'm calling it right now, because Pudding has a lot of siblings who monkey around, too, whom she has to watch over.
“TWELVE BROTHERS??!”
[laughs in Mormonism]
This is the only realistically human reaction in this entire episode.
Lol the whole “You got to be a Guardian by protecting a precious creature” like they didn't even fucking do anything. What kind of moral-of-the-story even is this?
So we get a shot of the academy and... that's it? That's what it looks like? The music was swelling up for that BIG, MAJESTIC reveal, and instead we get... that.
Fucking lol.
And I'm not gonna bother with the ending theme because it's worse than the opening theme in every which way.
The hell was even this first episode? THIS is how you choose to open up a show about magical girls/warriors entering magic academy? This felt like filler. Hell, I'm convinced this was a FILLER FIRST EPISODE. Do you SEE why it is Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network or whoever turned down Raye's pitch?
The people who worked on this "claim" to be anime fans, but dear Kami-sama, this isn't it, fam. This is really insulting on all accounts of anime fans, magical girl fans, and animation fans alike.
And there's 12 more of these episodes to go.
FUCK.
I'm astounded this was even allowed to come out looking like this. This shit wouldn't even fly in the 2000s, and you can tell Flash animated shows were shat out on the dime, but they had more heart and soul to it, as well as had actual talent.
Also many apologies, but I don't have a way to make clips right now, you'll have to put up with my infodump frame-by-frame snapshots, but it should roughly give you an idea of what you're looking at. You'll more-or-less have to take my word for it.
We're off to a great start, guys. The animation is like barely nonexistent. Hair barely moves except in bunches, grass stalks just nudge, and their dresses and hat peak doesn't even flow. This is six seconds into the episode. SIX. SECONDS.
Rosemary is a fucking bitch for interrupting Sage like that. That's not how you “finish each other's sentences”.
I just realized Rosemary's voice-actress is trying to sound like a shounen protagonist. That's not the kind of voice I imagined coming out of that character design, legit. I imagined her more high-pitched and screechy.
“Lel quirky clumsy behavior! You girls are so charming!”
Also holy shit look at Sage's dad.
Is that what soy wizards look like? My God.
Also the characters don't look like they fit with the backdrops. They look like those plastic sticker-thingies you just overlay on a backdrop during the story or something like that. I dunno how to explain it or what it's even called, but my grandparents had a Winnie the Pooh thing where the characters were plastic cut-outs that, through the power of static electricity or something, would stick to the backdrop however you pleased. I hope I'm explaining this right.
“And remember: studying is just as important as socializing.” Who the fuck says that in natural conversation, and to their daughter, no less?
“Chompy”. Really? That's what you're going to call a Mimic?
Is that a goat-frog? What the fuck is that goat.
Opening song is so dull, but I can't take snapshots of everything about it just to show off how inconsistent everything looks. I don't think the same person even drew the entirety of the OP. You'll just have to trust me.
What the fuck is that? A moose-horse?
And then the ogre squeezes them so hard their heads pop off, and he makes off like a bandit with their left socks.
Guys, this caravan/trolley/thingy is so fucking stiff. There is no weight to this thing at all. There's no weight to anything.
The fuck even is that.
This is the POV of a telescope that's sticking out of that... thingy up there. There's no sense of movement to be had here. They're moving upwards and there's just no 3D space. Were the animators just not implementing multiplane?
What irks me about this shot is that this is going to be used in all of the collages of the Rosemary/Sage ship because two girls can't hold hands as friends. No, they have to hold hands as girlfriends. That's the only reason I can think of as to why they had to include this shot when we know literally nothing about these two's relationship.
Ha ha, comedic relief! Sorry, I forgot how to laugh.
The broom flight is so fucking slow, if just because the “blur effect” to give the illusion of motion wasn't used well enough. There's some semblance of wind dynamics through the direction of the dresses and hair, but the backgrounds break that immersion. As does Chompy's presence in the scene. He breaks all sense of immersion in every scene he's in.
Yeah, case in point that there has to always be “uwu fluffy lesbian moments” to appease shippers. And there will be shippers, and they were the ones who made this.
Gag me.
The butch lesbian is Sage's cousin what's-her-face I legit forgot her name already. Even if we hadn't already been told about it, they're obviously lesbians because two women can't cohabit together if they're not lesbians according to Raye.
“Is sleep a food?”
Geddit? Rosemary is a fatty glutton!
So “new magic” is in the form of this “terrasphere” marble thingy that tesseracts new dimension space into the present plane? Why do they have to artificially forge new space like that? Like yeah, I know a popular trope when it comes to magical houses and such with witches is that the inside of a house is always bigger than it looks from the outside because witches can manipulate space like that. But they also tend to have magical doors or hidden rooms that just seemingly naturally coexist in the walls of the house. What if Rosemary and Sage leave the room and don't have access to the terrasphere to open it back up? Is there a backup spell or entrance to get into their rooms so it's not permanently closed off to them? (And it's like that for all the rooms, too, not just the guest bedroom. Like how is that even considered convenient?)
Or maybe it's a closed-off space so the cousins can loudly scissor each other without waking up anyone else staying over for the night. Just a thought.
Oh my God, Rosemary has EARS!
Lol her mom looks stumpy.
HOW
HOW DOES A SWORD GET THROWN LIKE THAT
Lesbian wedding photo where butch dyke takes on the masculine role of groom and that means she wears the pants in the family as well as throws the first punches. (Also lol manlet.)
This looks like someone pasted together random magazine images into the scene. Holy shit, this conflicted art composition is driving me nuts.
Look at it. Look at it and
“MMMMMMMM??”
They couldn't even draw puppy-dog or teary eyes for her begging mode.
“I like her. I hope you're up for some grooming later, dear, because I need some nubile pussy to keep your elven puss-puss from aging like milk."
What the fuck is that, a tiger-ferret?
"We'll be back by dusk!"
“Don't get killed!”
I'm sorry, what? Why would you even say that? You couldn't say “Be careful, stay safe?”
Then again, Rosemary in the next shot says excitedly the tiger-ferret thingy might have rabies and decides to go run after it. What a dumbass.
How do you not feel your pendant being yanked out of its chain? Does NOTHING in this series have any sense of weight to them?
These are the four frames that make up of her just turning around to walk away. I'm dead serious, it's legit janky in movement.
Once again, it's like these characters don't fit in the scene. They're literally weightless, they're just walking and standing around on a one-dimensional plane. Anime is known for being animated on the cheap and fast, but even low-quality anime understands the concept of perspective and 3D space on a 2D plane.
“You have a locket with a picture of cheesecake inside it.”
You can't be serious??? Rosemary is THAT much of a gluttonous dumbass? Unless she's throwing Sage off (why would she do that when she apparently knows everything about her past—I guess?), that's not even a good kind of “lul random” that this show apparently wants to throw at us.
The fuck is that? An aye-aye potato?
So giants exist in this world, and they think they can pull this kind of perspective off oh-so naturally. The animation already proved fuck-all that this can even be competently done, so this “reveal” is just utterly useless. Why even show this off anyway? What's the point?
Man, if only Sage had Chompy with her so they could ride a broom to catch the little bugger faster.
Holy shit, the camera angle is at ground level here, but the characters are at practically eyelevel with the viewer.
And to prove further inconsistency:
I should probably lay off pointing these things out further, but the show won't stop reminding me of these terrible shots.
Oh God Rosemary WAS serious. What the FUCK is with this script?
Also I don't know how to describe the sound composition of this... thing. I swear I'm hearing squeak toys in the mix.
…..
Y'know, magical creatures can be whatever you want them to be.
Problem is when you leave your audience in the dust and say “Figure it out, assholes”. So what, are these trixies or whatever-the-fuck it's called Pokémon fairies/pixies/sprites?
I FUCKING CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SHIT
THEY DIDN'T SHOW THEM SWITCHING PLACES, IT'S JUST A HARD CUT
HOLY SHIT SHE'S UPSET OVER THIS
Her locket with a picture of CHEESECAKE being ripped apart is supposed to be SAD.
…
...So why did Rosemary pull Sage along like that into thinking it was just a picture of cheesecake? Why fold it SO PRECISELY that only cheesecake is seen when opened? If it's to throw off any potential thieves or something, that's pants-on-head 'tarded.
“Rose, why didn't you tell me?”
[Rosemary proceeds to not tell her why]
Sure, expectations subverted.
INCONSISTENCYYYYYYYY
If she's a dwarf, that means Sage and Rosemary are fucking midgets for their age.
Also INCONSISTENCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Parsley has to be heavily inspired/based off of Pudding from Tokyo Mew Mew, I'm calling it right now, because Pudding has a lot of siblings who monkey around, too, whom she has to watch over.
“TWELVE BROTHERS??!”
[laughs in Mormonism]
This is the only realistically human reaction in this entire episode.
Lol the whole “You got to be a Guardian by protecting a precious creature” like they didn't even fucking do anything. What kind of moral-of-the-story even is this?
So we get a shot of the academy and... that's it? That's what it looks like? The music was swelling up for that BIG, MAJESTIC reveal, and instead we get... that.
Fucking lol.
And I'm not gonna bother with the ending theme because it's worse than the opening theme in every which way.
The hell was even this first episode? THIS is how you choose to open up a show about magical girls/warriors entering magic academy? This felt like filler. Hell, I'm convinced this was a FILLER FIRST EPISODE. Do you SEE why it is Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network or whoever turned down Raye's pitch?
The people who worked on this "claim" to be anime fans, but dear Kami-sama, this isn't it, fam. This is really insulting on all accounts of anime fans, magical girl fans, and animation fans alike.
And there's 12 more of these episodes to go.
FUCK.
hairazor
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 28, 2020
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2013
Was purple hair with the female video game protagonist haircut supposed to be an adult?! She looks like a teen at best.
hairazor
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 28, 2020
hairazor
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 28, 2020
What is this style called? Western cartoons attempting to copy anime but obviously western? HGS somewhere probably had a better style but redraw the faces for budget or someone somewhere said something.
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2013
Pretty sure that's the natural cycle of all these "women-only" productions.
- Discriminatorily hire only women for your production to
sate your fetishgrift some idiots out of moneybe a champion for "diversity". - Women hired end up being bad at their jobs and/or the work environment completely falls apart due to cliquish, catty in-fighting.
- Quietly bring in a couple of men to fix the messes made. Flip a coin on whether or not you'll publicly credit them in any way.
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2019
And then the socially stunted make a show that's supposed to be for them (a mature-rated show but it's so childish and condescending)
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
The scenes in town look incredibly sterile and uncanny, very few townspeople about and those you do see look like they exist as dressing for the set rather than people going about their daily business.
Is that what it feels like when you watch it or is it just how the screencaps come across?
Is that what it feels like when you watch it or is it just how the screencaps come across?
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2015
@Kari Kamiya Quoting broke on the post so Ill tell you why via a direct mention.
It's more than likely degenerate Foot fetishists on staff. Not like shit where it's either just a funny moments scene involving a character using a foot where it's possibly foot fetish shit no I'm talking like just "GET THE FEET SHOTS BARE FEET SHOT HHHHH" kinda fuckers. I noticed the first episode alone, which is all I watched had like a number of forced and uncomfortable feeling shots like that
It's funny you mention that because that was like the immediate theory me and my friend got about that shit.
EDIT: forgot to bring this up but somehow I didn't notice something till I saw it pointed out in another chat people were talking about this fucking thing. During the scene where they're eating in the first episode there;s like a few shots where the bread is a stock png ripped from google images.
Last edited:
Idiot Asshole
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2021
TvTropes called it "Animesque" but I don't know how widespread that term is (TVT is the first result on Google for it). Personally I like it, it's relatively compact and unambiguous, although it does cover more ground than just "anime wannabes". The difference between HGS and something like Teen Titans or The Boondocks is that those latter shows never tried to pretend that they weren't normal American shows that just happened to have a Japanese influence. HGS belongs in the same category as RWBY as the animation equivalent of that weeaboo you knew back in middle school who desperately wished they were Japanese.
Also good job on breaking down the first episode @Kari Kamiya. Your bravery in face of awful media is always appreciated.
Ensok
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2021
Kind of depressing cause this is the kind of show I would normally really like if it wasn't, you know, shit. Same with The Owl House. I love this kind of thing.
Also the way the characters don't fit right with the background reminds me of old edutainment/children's computer games from the early 2000's.
Also the way the characters don't fit right with the background reminds me of old edutainment/children's computer games from the early 2000's.
Jinmen
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2018
This show looks like the unholy lovechild of Stephen Universe and a shitty korean cartoon. I can't belive this is a thing too, thought it never got past the planning phase. Good thing I don't pay for crunchyroll and use someone else's account!
- Joined
- May 18, 2014
Kill La Kill! did it better.
hairazor
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 28, 2020
Last edited:
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2017
- Joined
- May 18, 2014
They so desperately want this to be the New Steven Universe that all the troons and manchildren swoon over.
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2017
I'm still shocked Crunchyroll hasn't disabled/moderated the ratings/comments yet.
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2018
lol calm down