Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Oscar Winner]

I was having a poke around her Instagram and ended up in a bit of a rabbit hole.

Spoiler: Assortment of random shit

Not sure if we saw this video, it's hilarious. She's at the ruins in Wales that wasn't Wales, fake crying. Nice comment there from ol' matey though.

I don't remember seeing this one here either. She's def nursing a narc injury. I wanna know what happened, dammit.

Did we know this existed? Didn't last long, hasn't been touched for almost 18 months

Horrifying face-swap video, or no filter.. loooolll (sorry Bowie, blame your mum)

Just adding to my collection of photos where she looks like she has Downs. (Chick who posted this did her hair) Also, look at the line of her back and think about where her spine should be. I will never not be amazed at how huge she is.

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

Damn, they ugly.

Damn, they all ugly.
View attachment 2671247

Hey, waitaminute here...
So Alaska was one thing, but this is the UK. We can assume Tess is vaccinated given how much she loves to virtue signal and the shit she's been resharing, but even if not she's still supposed to be turning in some tests, right?
She had two solid days of fun, that's when the test is due (per below) and she's been in a hotel since then.
What if she's been forcibly quarantined?
View attachment 2671250
It might actually be rona, guys.

She is vaccinated to my knowledge. But I was already asking myself, if she will fuck up the post-arrival test. But I don't know how quickly the government would react and force someone into quarantine, if they fuck up turning in the test in due time.

And I kind of see Tess being too dumb following this rule, as it is already a hassle for normal functioning adults. And Tess is a dumb, bratty 14 year old trapped in the bodies of three adults.

 

[Oscar Winner]

According to this post she's been double vaxxed since at least early June. What I find strange is pretty much every other time she's gone somewhere she's constantly posting, and still posting photos after she gets back. Weird that she's so very quiet this time, and this is a "big" trip, not a long weekend away somewhere.
If she prescheduled a post arrival test and didn't turn up/tested positive, would that explain her lack of SM posting? I doubt she'd admit catching the coof somehow.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Damn, they ugly.

Damn, they all ugly.
View attachment 2671247

Hey, waitaminute here...
So Alaska was one thing, but this is the UK. We can assume Tess is vaccinated given how much she loves to virtue signal and the shit she's been resharing, but even if not she's still supposed to be turning in some tests, right?
She had two solid days of fun, that's when the test is due (per below) and she's been in a hotel since then.
What if she's been forcibly quarantined?
View attachment 2671250
It might actually be rona, guys.

One of my boring theories was she broke her phone or something and couldn't get it fixed in the uk

If Tess would really give a single shit about art, history, fat women in history, she would have walzed into the National Gallery. Because there is a portrait by Anthony van Dyck a Flemish painter of the baroque era. It's some noble man and his really fat wife. Perfect selfie opportunity for Tess to eyefuck herself in front of that painting and make a point that fat women existed. Or whatever.

View attachment 2670407

But getting shitfaced with her current Brit trash besties and showing the World her really gargantuan ass was of greater importance.

Spoiler: Art history sperging because I'm bored

hard to tell at this resolution, but older portraits of wealthy people often exaggerated the size of the clothing because it was a sign of wealth. Textiles were absurdly expensive until the Industrial Revolution since everything had to be spun, woven, and sewn entirely by hand. For another example, a lot of people think the woman in the arnolfini portrait is pregnant when she's actually holding up a massively full skirt.

Also van dyck makes a lot of his subjects' heads weirdly small so that would skew the effect even more. Either way, that woman in the portrait wasn't anywhere near Tess's size even though she was fat

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

One of my boring theories was she broke her phone or something and couldn't get it fixed in the uk

Spoiler: Art history sperging because I'm bored

hard to tell at this resolution, but older portraits of wealthy people often exaggerated the size of the clothing because it was a sign of wealth. Textiles were absurdly expensive until the Industrial Revolution since everything had to be spun, woven, and sewn entirely by hand. For another example, a lot of people think the woman in the arnolfini portrait is pregnant when she's actually holding up a massively full skirt.

View attachment 2671315

Also van dyck makes a lot of his subjects' heads weirdly small so that would skew the effect even more. Either way, that woman in the portrait wasn't anywhere near Tess's size even though she was fat

>Cue stuffy New England voice

"I'm soooo rich, I can afford this ridiculously large hat! And my wife has a dress that touches the ground! Do you, peasant? No. I also can afford these completely useless Dutch shoes in addition to the hideous red ones! AND I can afford to just leave that fruit out to rot while you eat from the pig's trough. Ah-Ha. Ah-Ha. Ah-Ha! Die in envy, poor person."

 

[RainbowStarlight]

Damn, they ugly.

Damn, they all ugly.
View attachment 2671247

Hey, waitaminute here...
So Alaska was one thing, but this is the UK. We can assume Tess is vaccinated given how much she loves to virtue signal and the shit she's been resharing, but even if not she's still supposed to be turning in some tests, right?
She had two solid days of fun, that's when the test is due (per below) and she's been in a hotel since then.
What if she's been forcibly quarantined?
View attachment 2671250
It might actually be rona, guys.

Um... looking at the fourth row second from the right. Are those...masks? She's seriously selling used MASKS? Someone please tell me those are something else.

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

One of my boring theories was she broke her phone or something and couldn't get it fixed in the uk

Spoiler: Art history sperging because I'm bored

hard to tell at this resolution, but older portraits of wealthy people often exaggerated the size of the clothing because it was a sign of wealth. Textiles were absurdly expensive until the Industrial Revolution since everything had to be spun, woven, and sewn entirely by hand. For another example, a lot of people think the woman in the arnolfini portrait is pregnant when she's actually holding up a massively full skirt.

View attachment 2671315

Also van dyck makes a lot of his subjects' heads weirdly small so that would skew the effect even more. Either way, that woman in the portrait wasn't anywhere near Tess's size even though she was fat

That's true. Unfortunately I couldn't find a better photo of the painting. But I stood in front of the painting myself. It's not just all clothes. The lady must have been very obese in her lifetime. If because of eating habits, or she had a health issue, I don't know.

But that is also a fact that these people were obese and very unhealthy (see Henry VIII) or their obesity was the result of a health issue. So fuck off with Health At Every Size.

And still the lady in the van Dyck painting is slimmer than Tess.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

The Donald duck purse from the fat disney shots is from loungefly, and therefore nothing Supa moddle ish, just your average adult disney autism
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Can that bag hold anything more than a phone and a few bills? I'm all for small crossbody bags (harder to steal, can be used as a weapon for self defense), but that bag looks impractical as hell.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Can that bag hold anything more than a phone and a few bills? I'm all for small crossbody bags (harder to steal, can be used as a weapon for self defense), but that bag looks impractical as hell.

Objects on tess are usually larger than they appear. They're just dwarfed by her enormity.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Oh really? Sora's your bff now, Tess? How often do you hang out outside of the sessions you pay for?

Tubbers doesn’t realize that it’s part of Sora’s job to be nice to clients to get repeat business and referrals. To pretend to be bffs when they don’t even interact outside the hot pilates gym? Ryann is getting extra desperate here.

Speaking of desperate, it’s been weeks since she’s paraded around her rented minority friends. Perhaps they got tired of her nonstop blubbering and decided whatever money she was giving them wasn’t worth it.

Whatever has happened, it must be a big ego blow to have her under cover for days. Did something happen in London? Did she make it back to LA? Has her feeder stopped paying her rent? Does she have the coof?

Yeah it was a big narcissistic injury. I agree that she likely tried and failed to get her modeling career going again but you can easily imagine her upset that no guy wanted to have sex with her and her “friends” had a million better things to do than amuse this unpleasant landwhale for two weeks.

She could have been sick but for her not to upload gorillions of selfies? There’s more than illness at play, enough for her to stop eyefucking herself for days (!) at a time.

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Maybe reality hit her?

For whatever reason, Tubbers is proud of her grotesque, bulbous ass. Plenty of fatties think a big fatgirl ass or big fatgirl boobs are somehow sexy. Most guys who like T&A at that size know the difference between fat and big except for feeders, who are likely Tess’s intended target.

Man, that unsolicited "commercial" was beyond embarrassing and Nadia still gave Tess the tattoo magazine job and took her to Alaska. I think Nadia either loves embarrassing Tess, or Tes has some serious shit on her.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Nadia initially actually believed Tess’s blubbering about being a poor victim of abuse, how fatphobia killed off her career, etc. and thought some pity jobs would get her back on track. Thus far Tess is nothing more than a 400+ pound albatross around Nadia’s neck. Not the first time Tess has burned those kinds of bridges. Nadia will figure it out if she hasn’t already.

 

[Anal birth]

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This picture is so fucking gross. No wonder her kid got bullied when his mum is posting shit like this. I don't get her obsession with her arse, its comical and 100% fat, nothing to get excited about.

 

[Umaibae]

Tess's obsession with her ass all stems from her trying to be "relatable" to the youth (butts are in) and to virtue signal to POCs that she's TOTALLY just like them!

 

[Brittnay Matthews]

Tess's obsession with her ass all stems from her trying to be "relatable" to the youth (butts are in) and to virtue signal to POCs that she's TOTALLY just like them!

Imo she's just desperate to be perceived as a desirable hot sexy model everyone secretly wanna fuck, her ass is the only part of her that she thinks is not disfigured. boobs too saggy, vagina too deep in the fupa and a face covered in grease and fat. But hey at least her ass is big (DON'T POINT OUT THE CELLULITE EFF YOUR BEAUTY STABDARDS) and she's all natural unlike those skinny hoes who don't have a protruding belly or cankles with their dang bbls looking like a wisdom tooth (her bitter words)

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

Tess's obsession with her ass all stems from her trying to be "relatable" to the youth (butts are in) and to virtue signal to POCs that she's TOTALLY just like them!

Yes, her now infamous claim that black dudes all thirst for that ass comes to mind here. Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe one of the guys who ghosted her was black?

 

[Brittnay Matthews]

Yes, her now infamous claim that black dudes all thirst for that ass comes to mind here. Correct me if I am wrong, but I believe one of the guys who ghosted her was black?

Lmao yes she said he left her car after making out once in the middle of the night and never came back, she claimed to be worried that he went out in the dark as a black person cuz he might get hate crimed by the police kek i just wonder how rancid does she smell to make chubby chasers run away like that

 

[melty]

I wonder if we'll ever find out what happened. Maybe she discovered those new London bff's were parading her around for laughs? Somebody suggested that and I thought it was a joke at first but the videos of them together had an odd vibe.

 

[Water-T]

Speaking of desperate, it’s been weeks since she’s paraded around her rented minority friends. Perhaps they got tired of her nonstop blubbering and decided whatever money she was giving them wasn’t worth it.

The checks bounced harder than a CakeJohn after he's blown a load in Tess' folds.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Michelle posted a video about Tess' recent Disney visit.
Can someone archive it, please?

 

[lottalove]

Michelle posted a video about Tess' recent Disney visit.
Can someone archive it, please?

archive "Tess Holliday Looks Fat and Tired at Disney Land"
by "My Thoughts Will Probably Offend You"

 

[multiverse]

Six days since she's shown her face. She makes a food joke about Facebook's new name. Hahaha it sounds like FOOD, geddit?



She's got to be back stateside by now; I presume her last night in London was during the "bittersweet" Story. This is a really long hiatus for her. Especially given that #spon posts are her major income. She's going to owe Flabletics a post by Monday; we'll see what she does.

Halloween is typically a big tacky thing with her, and she's never resisted going out for drinks and parties during this holiday. If she's hibernating through this weekend, something big is indeed amiss.