US Joe Biden News Megathread - The Other Biden Derangement Syndrome Thread (with a side order of Fauci Derangement Syndrome)

Let's pretend for one moment that he does die before the election, just for the funsies. What happens then? Will the nomination revert to option number 2, aka Bernie Sanders? Or will his running mate automatically replace him just the way Vice-President is supposted to step in after the Big Man in the White House chokes on a piece of matzo? Does he even have a running mate yet?

 

[tehpope]

So, I have ben mulling this over for a while, and I would like peoples, especially @Gehenna's. These are the scenarios I have been red teaming in my mind for how the Biden administration can try and keep the ship from slipping completely beneath the waves.

1. End the pandemic by simply declaring Covid endemic and telling everyone to just go about their lives and pivot to something else and drop things like mandates and have Fauci "retire to spend time with his family". While this would get some temporary screeching from the branch covidians it would be fairly easy and play pretty well and the MSM would likely carry this water for them as they are used to sudden and contradictory changes in direction from this administration, and have shown plenty of readiness to carry water for it. The downside here is that this would put more of a spotlight on other issues such as the economy and international relations that have also plagued the administration.

2. 25th Joe and slide Kamala in and otherwise stay the course. This one is fairly obvious, send Joe to shit himself in peace and and let heels up run the show. She is a non-entity and Jill Biden appears loathe to relinquish her grasp on what part of presidential power she wields. Things likely continue as the are now but with worse approval ratings and psycho laughter instead unintelligible gibberish. While the downsides are obvious, there are some small potential upsides, namely that Harris is her own person, and though an intellectual light weight she is in possession of her faculties and is her own person who is likely to replace many of Biden's advisors with her own, though whether that would be good or bad is a known unknown.

3. Soft cancel vaccine mandates. Do this by tying them to a vague date in the future dependent on some nebulous goal. My play would be that given the current economic situation that vaccine and other covid mandates are suspended until annualized GDP growth is at 3.5% per anum and inflation falls back to November 2019 levels. These are concrete goals true, but mays as well be unachievable while this administration is in office, and if it does happen by the time it does everyone will have forgotten about covid and the mandates can be killed in the interim while no one is looking. This is buys them little as it is in many ways the worst of all the options before them, but this ultimately what I think they will end up doing is something along this track.

4. Replace Everybody, aka the hotseat two step. This the least likely but would be the best for the country, so it has no real chance of happening. First find a way to send Kamala packing, the ideal method is for Fienstein to retire and have her take her Senate seat. Once that happens replace her with someone who can actually govern, and do so from a centrist position. I think the best candidate would be Louisiana Govenor John Bel Edwards, a blue governor of a red state. From there 25th Joe and rebuild the administration the model of a Government of National Unity, ie half red half blue with a focus on fixing the economy and quickly declaring an end to covid. This will not happen but let me dream.

Odds of each scenario:
1. 15:1
2. 25:1 (lol) Higher if Joe strokes out though.
3. 4:1
4. 1000000:1 LOL No

I only see 1 & 3 happening once shit really hits the fan. Massive shortages nation wide, not the ones we have now. Like no beer bad. Massive Internet restrictions. No porn.

 

[Mike Stoklasa]

Wow. This is actually really damning for both Biden and the Democrats.

More Democrats in new poll want someone other than Biden as party's presidential nominee

A plurality of Democrats say their party will have a better chance of keeping the White House in 2024 if they nominate someone other than President Biden, according to a new poll out Monday.

thehill.com

They should nominate Donald Trump.

 

[Meat Target]

If Biden strokes out, I want one of the hard core ones.

On live TV.

I want him to have an explosive cerebral hemorrhage.

Ever seen one of those?

They're fucking gruesome.

The victim starts chattering/clacking their jaws like a fucking cenobite, blood gushes out of their nose and ears, and either blood runs out of their eyeballs or their eyeballs pop from t he sockets. They also spasm for a second before they fall down.

They're dead before the blood comes out their nose.

Could you imagine that on live TV?

I wouldn't be able to stop laughing.

Pretty much. Only more horrifying and more blood.

It's pretty fucking metal.

He better start chanting the gamer word during all this

Hey Man. Nice Shot

Soooo, like that politician who shot themselves on live TV, only by not shooting himself?

Jesus fuck if I saw something that horrifying I'd think the same

I've been bent over guffawing at these posts for a solid 5-10 minutes. Now my throat hurts and I stubbed my toe.

Uncle Johnny, when I grow up to be your age, I hope to be as fucked in the head as you are. It sounds fun.

 

[The Last Stand]

No Gehenna, I'm going to have to disagree with you here.

My white liberal friends and even a couple family members have told me right to my face that I should know better than being a black man voting Republican.

They genuinely believe that Republicans are racist against black people.

They are truly stuck in the 60s with that line of thinking. @Terrifik is correct that Republicans aren't much better than their Democrat counterparts based on the fact that they are still coasting (or sinking in some cases) off Trump's wild card presidency. It's more of a protest vote at this point.

Not voting would say that you're fine with the current status quo.

 

[Vaclav]

They are truly stuck in the 60s with that line of thinking. @Terrifik is correct that Republicans aren't much better than their Democrat counterparts based on the fact that they are still coasting (or sinking in some cases) off Trump's wild card presidency. It's more of a protest vote at this point.

Not voting would say that you're fine with the current status quo.

Stuck in the 60s is exactly right. The social turmoil of the 60s is a key part of the left's foundational mythos. It was the time when the left made the greatest impact on society, creating huge changes that subsequent generations have mostly decided were for the best. The protest culture of the 21st century mostly is 1960s LARPing. They're desperate to manufacture hate crimes because they want their old villains back to fight again. They have nothing tangible to offer people so they think their best bet is to put on a show reenacting the great battles of yesteryear and triumphing again. Unfortunately, the old antagonist is nowhere to be found so they have to resort to Jussie Smollet and claiming that a pull string in a NASCAR garage is a noose.

Now that I think about it, it reminds me a lot of the Star Wars sequels. The enemy from the original films is implausibly resurrected, but in a pathetic form with no gravitas. The heroes pitted against the revived enemy are diversity hires with none of the pluck and charm of the originals. And in the end many fans of the original narrative will get fed up and drift away.

 

[The Last Stand]

Stuck in the 60s is exactly right. The social turmoil of the 60s is a key part of the left's foundational mythos. It was the time when the left made the greatest impact on society, creating huge changes that subsequent generations have mostly decided were for the best.

Off the backs of actual protesters and civil rights figures. Hey, LBJ signed the Civil Rights Act! Stop taking credit for events you played little to no part in.

 

[Jet Fuel Johnny]

Off the backs of actual protesters and civil rights figures. Hey, LBJ signed the Civil Rights Act! Stop taking credit for events you played little to no part in.

It's kind of funny in a way.

Rather than find something new, they did what Leftists always do.

They took something made before them, gutted it, put on its skin, and demand you like it just as much as the original.

 

[Snekposter]

If Biden strokes out, I want one of the hard core ones.

On live TV.

I want him to have an explosive cerebral hemorrhage.

Ever seen one of those?

They're fucking gruesome.

The victim starts chattering/clacking their jaws like a fucking cenobite, blood gushes out of their nose and ears, and either blood runs out of their eyeballs or their eyeballs pop from t he sockets. They also spasm for a second before they fall down.

They're dead before the blood comes out their nose.

Could you imagine that on live TV?

I wouldn't be able to stop laughing.

To paraphrase Donald Trump... "Blood coming out of his eyeballs, blood coming out of his whatever!" Alas, I am even more fucked up than you, and am wishing for an explosive cerebral hemorrhage right out of Scanners. If anyone could stroke out that hard... its Brown Pants Biden.

 

[Vaclav]

If Biden strokes out, I want one of the hard core ones.

On live TV.

I want him to have an explosive cerebral hemorrhage.

Ever seen one of those?

They're fucking gruesome.

The victim starts chattering/clacking their jaws like a fucking cenobite, blood gushes out of their nose and ears, and either blood runs out of their eyeballs or their eyeballs pop from t he sockets. They also spasm for a second before they fall down.

They're dead before the blood comes out their nose.

Could you imagine that on live TV?

I wouldn't be able to stop laughing.

Are there actually strokes that make eyeballs pop from their sockets? Eyeballs are held in place by seven muscles. A lot of fictional works like comic books have people's eyes popping out when their heads get smashed, but in reality it's nowhere near that easy for an eye to come out.

 

[Constellationzero]

Then I must question what kind of people Salubrious is surrounded by, nothing I have seen has indicated this particular rot has gone into the mainstream left's thought process. Yes, I am aware it has been trending towards this for quite some time, but I do not think it is yet at that point for anyone not still on the fringe. That being said, Salubrious being black means he might be exposed to a more concentrated form of it, since he 'votes wrong', which could explain the discrepency.

It's in the schools--public schools and many colleges in particular.

These people's claims are not wrong. Objectively. You simply can't see/understand this because you are not wired wrong. These people, leftists and dems who think this way, are WIRED INCORRECTLY. Period. It's like an old Kirby Vacuum that plugs in and turns on, but has a major malfunction that cannot be detected without taking the entire unit apart.
You will never understand this, again, because you are NOT WIRED WRONG.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

Are there actually strokes that make eyeballs pop from their sockets? Eyeballs are held in place by seven muscles. A lot of fictional works like comic books have people's eyes popping out when their heads get smashed, but in reality it's nowhere near that easy for an eye to come out.

I can totally believe a hard sneeze can make an eyeball pop out. The reason why it doesn't is because you reflexively close your eyes beforehand. Also, NEVER fight that reflex.

 

[Snekposter]

Are there actually strokes that make eyeballs pop from their sockets? Eyeballs are held in place by seven muscles. A lot of fictional works like comic books have people's eyes popping out when their heads get smashed, but in reality it's nowhere near that easy for an eye to come out.

If something could make those muscles twitch in ways they aren't supposed to, like say, the entire brain shredding itself as blood vessel after blood vessel pops, sure, it could happen.

 

[Blackhole]

I can totally believe a hard sneeze can make an eyeball pop out. The reason why it doesn't is because you reflexively close your eyes beforehand. Also, NEVER fight that reflex.

why do you...did...did you make your eyeballs pop out of their sockets by sneezing because you fought the reflex?

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

why do you...did...did you make your eyeballs pop out of their sockets by sneezing because you fought the reflex?

Luckily no, but it did loosen a bit and took months to recover. It is extremely unnerving to feel the sensation of an eyeball move inside my head when I looked down.

 

[Meat Target]

I can totally believe a hard sneeze can make an eyeball pop out. The reason why it doesn't is because you reflexively close your eyes beforehand. Also, NEVER fight that reflex.

It doesn't, allegedy.

Let’s first look at the anatomy of your eye. Your eye sockets are reasonably secure and aren’t connected to your nose at all. According to the Mythbusters, even though a sneeze can leave your nose at 200 miles per hour, it can’t transfer this pressure into your eye sockets to remove your eyeballs. Plus, there aren’t muscles directly behind your eyes to push them out.

Here is the logical answer to why your eyelids may shut when a sneeze comes: “The nose and eyes are linked by cranial nerves, so the stimulation from the sneeze travels up one nerve to the brain, then down another nerve to the eyelids, triggering a blink for most people.”

 

[Blackhole]

Luckily no, but it did loosen a bit and took months to recover. It is extremely unnerving to feel the sensation of an eyeball move inside your head.

that's fucking horrifying. i absolutely hate eyes looking at weird angles and places and it just aghhhhhhhhh...think i'd break down if that happened to me,fucks sake.

 

[Kujo Jotaro]

I stop paying attention to the news for two weeks( TWO GOD DAMN WEEKS!), and Biden up and shits himself. It seems anytime I tune out the news for an extended period I return to the wildest shit imaginable. The divine comedy that is this administration just keeps on giving, I can't wait to see what I return to find in a few weeks.

 

[LaxerBRO]

If Biden strokes out, I want one of the hard core ones.

On live TV.

I want him to have an explosive cerebral hemorrhage.

Ever seen one of those?

They're fucking gruesome.

The victim starts chattering/clacking their jaws like a fucking cenobite, blood gushes out of their nose and ears, and either blood runs out of their eyeballs or their eyeballs pop from t he sockets. They also spasm for a second before they fall down.

They're dead before the blood comes out their nose.

Could you imagine that on live TV?

I wouldn't be able to stop laughing.

And Biden goes down as an American hero.

I want that fucker to lose the 2nd term and spend the end of his life a loser with his mind completely demented in a soiled diaper looking through the staring window.

 

[mold]

It's in the schools--public schools and many colleges in particular.

These people's claims are not wrong. Objectively. You simply can't see/understand this because you are not wired wrong. These people, leftists and dems who think this way, are WIRED INCORRECTLY. Period. It's like an old Kirby Vacuum that plugs in and turns on, but has a major malfunction that cannot be detected without taking the entire unit apart.
You will never understand this, again, because you are NOT WIRED WRONG.

they're not wired wrong. we are.

they're normal.

they're normal people wired for a normal human structure. the absence and/or corruption of those structures is making them do crazy shit. but they're normal. normal people look to high status people to tell them what to do and how to think.

we're the wonky ones.

 

[Drag-on Knight 91873]

It doesn't, allegedy.

Normally, a sneeze also has your eyelids shut tight as the force of the sneeze is enough to move your entire head. It also keeps the eyeballs in place during that sudden acceleration. What happens when you don't is you get punched in the eye from the inside.