The Eternals - marvel is trying it again this time less humor and hit music and more unnecessary love triangles

Water-T said:
Kang is being wasted on an Ant-Man flick. Use a lesser character as the villain for that one, like Goliath (the Masters of Evil one, not the black one Clor killed). Save Kang as the baddie for Avengers 5.

The guy in Loki was and wasn't Kang - due to all the timey-wimey BS Kang has been doing, there are various versions of him in different dimensions and timelines. Sometimes they even develop into their own characters like Rama Tut, Scarlett Centurion, and Immortus. The one at the end of Loki is He Who Remains, who keeps watch on the end of time.
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Wouldn't Ant Man work better as a low stakes flick? Paul Rudd investigating if his new neigbour is a murderer or a vampire. A lot of hijinks involving his suit in a house and garden. It's a tried and tested formula.
 
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Hazel Motes said:
Wouldn't Ant Man work better as a low stakes flick? Paul Rudd investigating if his new neigbour is a murderer or a vampire. A lot of hijinks involving his suit in a house and garden. It's a tried and tested formula.
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He has to stop Stilt Man, some goofy asshole thief that does petty jewelry busts and skyrise capers, because he accidentally steals a part of his macguffin machine and is trying to hock it. There, it's low stakes and can be bad if Paul Rudd fucks it up.
 
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"upsetting the right people" :story:
 
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Hazel Motes said:
Wouldn't Ant Man work better as a low stakes flick? Paul Rudd investigating if his new neigbour is a murderer or a vampire. A lot of hijinks involving his suit in a house and garden. It's a tried and tested formula.
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No, don't you see, since Ant Man was the one who cracked "time travel" he gets upgraded from "guy who shrinks and grows" to...time travel guy.
 
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Quixotic Man said:
We could get down to a majority of critics not recommending the movie, Kweens.

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Really interested to see the CinemaScore from audiences on this. If its actually boring, that is way worse than just being stupid.
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There were so many moving parts, there was no way for this movie to succeed even if they didn't decide that this was the singular point to pozz everything out and shove the "INCLUSION / REPRESENTATION" meme and only barely dry brushing the surface of the excuse plot with a bare minimum of Jack Kirby's effort. They would need their own multiple movie-phase all to themselves just to start on the right foot, and even then it's probable it wouldn't break even; you need a chest-length neckbeard just to keep up with their original storylines, I honestly have no clue what's what with them anymore since Marvel throws an universal retcon everything the wind changes direction.
 
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the best part about the gay kiss is its some fat black man and an arab.

The fat black dude does has some funny 'I'm a parent' style'd lines. the ending scene is basically the kid being told his father 'defeated the villian'. "Dad you used violence?" and the gay dude is like 'I sat him down and had a very calm but stern conversation'.
 
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Scarlett Johansson said:
www.hollywoodreporter.com

‘Eternals’ Pulled From Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Kuwait in Apparent Ban

Sources suggest the inclusion of the MCU's first same-gender couple is causing issues in the Gulf.
www.hollywoodreporter.com www.hollywoodreporter.com
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I haven’t seen the movie, but doesn’t it also show the city of Mecca during the montage of the Eternals throughout history?

I could see these countries objecting to the implication that the Eternals were responsible for the founding of Islam, in addition to the gay kiss.
 
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Adamska said:
He has to stop Stilt Man, some goofy asshole thief that does petty jewelry busts and skyrise capers, because he accidentally steals a part of his macguffin machine and is trying to hock it. There, it's low stakes and can be bad if Paul Rudd fucks it up.
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that sounds like a much better movie, plus it would be fun to almost self parody its own tropes at this point, imagine a sky beam but it only goes up about 10 feet, no in in CA even notices it.
 
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Sinner's Sandwich said:
Oh god what a fucking r.etard. The movie is garbage and that's NOT a good sign for the MCU.
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The dumbest part is he's saying that when it's just critics that are hating it, it's not general audiences who haven't seen the movie, so that tactic of "HURR DURR THE RACISTS HATE OUR MOVIE!" does not even work.
 
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Alright, fellas, I just finished watching the camrip. I'm sure none of you give a shit about spoilers, but just in case, I'll put them in a tag:
What a piece of shit. It was boring, and confusing, and that's not because of the quality of the camrip; that's just how the movie is. Kumail Nanjiani was mildly amusing, but fucks off before the final battle, and then reappears at the very end. His entire character could be cut, and nothing would change. Richard Madden is just, "hey, what if Superman was evil?" Except Zack Snyder already did that in Justice League, and it was way cooler. I liked how after being beaten, he just apologized, and then hurled himself into the sun. None of the hero characters are really all that interesting, or compelling in any way, and the Deviants are just CGI monsters. Like, Gilgamesh dies, and I think I'm supposed to give a shit, but I had been introduced to this guy only 20 minutes prior, so I felt nothing. The only thing I really liked about the movie, was when Sersi used up the last of the excess power to allow Sprite to become a human, so she wouldn't have to spend eternity as a child any longer, and she could grow up, fall in love, and even die, because immortality truly is a curse, rather than a blessing.

Even the other low-tier Marvel movies managed to be entertaining, at the very least, but this was just a bloated mess. It feels like Marvel was desperately pushing for an Oscar, but still had to have a giant CGI fight scene where the fate of the entire human race was on the line. I can appreciate that they at least tried something new, but I wish they had tried harder to actually make it good. Also, I can't even remember the gay kiss that, apparently, made the cast cry on set. I'm sure I witnessed it, but it was so brief, I can't recall. They really made a big deal out of two dudes giving each other a little peck, huh? Tom Brady kisses his kids more passionately than that. These fucking actors need to stop patting themselves on the back for doing nothing. Either give me full dude-on-dude penetration, or don't even bother. Anyway, I paid nothing for this movie, and I still felt ripped off

Non-spoiler: it deserves its low RT score. It's a confusing mess. Or maybe I just hate women and minorities? Who knows?
 
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Commander X said:
Kumail Nanjiani said that the Eternals review bomb is a sign that they’re upsetting the right people–he’s right and it’s a great sign for the MCU.

“Upsetting the right people”…comments like these are basically another form of The Emperor’s New Clothes.

A smiling and smug insinuation that the virtuous ones who think the correct way will see the product as good, despite any gaping holes or flaws in its fabric.

Upsetting the right people, like you know, the ones who buy tickets and merchandise that generate revenue for these movies. "Dissatisfied, ticked off customers and lower revenues is a sure sign this tactic is winning!"
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Upsetting the right people as in people with actual good taste in movies
Water-T said:
If Marvel does another FF film, I hope they use ANYONE other than Doom. He's as overused as a FF villain like Lex and Zod for the Superman films. Annihillus, Psycho Man, Blaastar, The Wizard and the Frightful Four, Mole Man....there are so many other bad guys to use.
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The Wizard wouldn't be a bad pick.
Dr. Pasquale said:
View attachment 2688731

"upsetting the right people" :story:
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That line will never get old
 
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