11/06/2021 Ethan Ralph Totaled His Car - Hard to drive with hooves.

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Cause of the wreck?

  • The other driver.

    Votes: 18 1.9%

  • Ralph was under the influence.

    Votes: 100 10.7%

  • Ralph was reading KF on his phone.

    Votes: 270 28.9%

  • Ralph was under the influence AND reading KF on his phone.

    Votes: 524 56.1%

  • Driving with hooves is hard.

    Votes: 169 18.1%

  • Ralph was letting the gunt drive.

    Votes: 204 21.8%

  • Lost control while sharting.

    Votes: 287 30.7%
  • Total voters
    934
  • Poll closed .
Don'tAnalizeMeBro! said:
"License To Gunt" sounds like a great parody.
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"The name's Ralph, Ethan Ralph, Lisence to gunt, I'll take a bottle of makers mark with zanax pills, shaken not stirred"
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Truly the continental man of spergery
 
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♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️ said:
This is my best guess- and if that's the case then he would have been headed to MGM National Harbor, which is right next to DC. Isn't he forbidden in some byzantine legal capacity from going to DC- which is why he had to send Pantsu as a meatshield during January 6th?
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I don't think he's outright banned from DC, he was just afraid of getting tangentially involved in a Charlottesville type shitshow but not afraid enough to spare his horse from possibly getting pinched by the feds. Don't remember for sure but he might've still been on probation for punching that cop at the time.
 
Xenomorph said:
Inb4 Gunt wanted some Maryland crabs before visiting Christine in VA for their conjugal visit.
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I really like this, but blue crab is going for about $40/lb or around $250/bushel right now. And there's a lot of work in getting the tasty meat out of those suckers. Ralph doesn't work that hard for his caloric intake.
 
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Null said:
View attachment 2693965

WOOOO TIME TO GO DRIVING VRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMM


Edit:
Landover Rd
Maryland, USA

Princes Georges County

Why is he in Maryland?
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The fact that I'm in the same state as the Gunt worries me immensely.

Null said:
Why is Ralph even driving beaters to begin with? If I had his money I'd get a Cadillac or something.
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Cadillacs are for the elderly, the pretentious, and for black people. That and the fat tub of phuck needs his Maker's Mark more than he needs a car. That Gunt ain't gonna sustain itself.
 
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  • TMI
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  • Horrifying
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What would we all be doing if the ralphamale legit died in this car accident? Like mangled body, human fat cells sprayed over a 30 foot radius, dead.
 
♦️ King of Diamonds ♦️ said:
I am calling it right now: He doesn't have the cash for a new car after his three consecutive Vegas trips- will try to get a loan or set up a payment plan with the Nissan dealership only to get denied by his shitty credit (willingly defaulting on his student loans only contributed to this). This will possibly cause a huge twitter spergout by Ze Guntmeister and Pantsu (once she realizes she has to drive him around) and eventually he might have to settle for some shit like a used Lada or a Pinto.
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Nah, Ralph said earlier that his local dealership loves him and I actually think he is telling the truth.

What they leave out is that they love him because he is exactly the trashy, bitch-made sucker they love leasing/selling cars to.

Dealerships will often set up in areas that are… less than affluent… for a reason. Poor retards like Ralph must have a nice(ish) vehicle to parade around in so they can show off to everyone just how great and successful they are. The dealership will get you into the ride you want, but with an insanely high interest rate over a very long period of time.

They know you will pay for awhile to keep up appearances, but eventually you will be unable to make the payments. This is great, because then they simply repo the car and do the exact same thing to the next wigger chump that walks onto their lot. This method often nets them 2-3x the value of the vehicle over time. Even if you do manage to make all of your payments, by the end of the loan you have paid for the car several times over in interest.

I actually laughed out loud at Ralph’s subsequent tweet that looked like Bruce Willis in Die Hard. Ralph loves to tell himself that he’s some sort of tough, rugged survivor of the streets/prison, but he’s just some pussy that talks a big game like the rest of his fellow trailer park residents. He’s never been in a real fight, and he is such a snowflake that he melts down over corn jokes. Real badass.

I can’t wait to see what comes next!
 
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The First Fag said:
Can confirm. I've been there a few times for sporting events I was participating in and that place is a shithole. Would much rather be with Jersh in some Slavic shithole than there. Some say Baltimore is the worst place to be in Maryland and I say "PG County is right behind it".
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That explains it being “the most affluent African American-majority county.”
 
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