Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[mothman96]

You know, I do kinda miss his toaster oven adventures. Nothing like a burnt piece of “food” covered in sriracha and eaten in a shelter bathroom.

I wonder if he has a toaster oven at Mallon Place.

If Mallon Place has one it be in the kitchen area. It would be a liability to have the residents messing in the kitchen so I'd say the kitchen is off limits to the residents.

I haven’t seen this photo, but I can only imagine… Lucas strikes me as someone who would live in filth if his daycare centers didn’t have people who cleaned up after him.

This is the 1 room apt he was kicked out of at Pioneer Pathway House. Here he is showing off his games. Check out the floor. This is just 1 example.

ETA:
Look at the wall behind his head. That filthy stain, the Freaks head made it.

 

[LightEmittingDiode]

I haven’t seen this photo, but I can only imagine… Lucas strikes me as someone who would live in filth if his daycare centers didn’t have people who cleaned up after him.

Lucas when left to do the “cleaning”:

 

[mothman96]

Lucas when left to do the “cleaning”:
View attachment 2706170

Maybe @klickitat in his next video can put up the freaks post where he'll do the "household chores and cooking" followed by that picture and 1 of his gross "home cooked" meals.

ETA:
He "designed" his 10th board game in 1 day and ordered it off the internet. The Freak is passing himself off as broke but has the money to order the game.
Imagine a teen girl walking home from friends house after dark and runs into the Freak.

RULES TO THE GAME SQUONK

Squonk Part 1. The Guesstimation of Savvy Resources Draw 12 cards per person. This is your hand. From your hand build a thing of 6 to 12 cards. Tell your story to everyone else. If as a team they...

squonkrules.weebly.com

 

[Telomere Savalas]

Begging for references to "work" now. I thought he had a job as a "comedian".

He thinks his parents are in the top 1% when they're, at best, middle middle class...

I mean if owning property and having extra money to spend is top 1% then, fuck it, I'm top 1% too.

Remember, Lucas, like Raymond Babbit, has no clue regarding the value of money. A new car and a candy bar both cost "a hundred dollars". His parents MIGHT have a net worth in seven figures, if you include property, 401K, etc. When your "job" is making insult videos for $50, that's a lot of money.

BTW Hell will freeze over before shit stain has a real job, even in the current "we'll take anyone with a pulse" environment.

 

[VoidFace]

Maybe @klickitat in his next video can put up the freaks post where he'll do the "household chores and cooking" followed by that picture and 1 of his gross "home cooked" meals.

ETA:
He "designed" his 10th board game in 1 day and ordered it off the internet. The Freak is passing himself off as broke but has the money to order the game.
View attachment 2706249

RULES TO THE GAME SQUONK

Squonk Part 1. The Guesstimation of Savvy Resources Draw 12 cards per person. This is your hand. From your hand build a thing of 6 to 12 cards. Tell your story to everyone else. If as a team they...

squonkrules.weebly.com

“Please give me money, Mallon Place it taking all of mine! Also: I brought a board game.”

And yay, another “.weebly.com” saga

ETA: the rules to this new game are completely incoherent. This comes as a shock to me, given the fact his games are usually completely rational, reasonable, and not at all overly complex for no reason.

 

[mothman96]

The comment:

 

[Twrx]

Maybe @klickitat in his next video can put up the freaks post where he'll do the "household chores and cooking" followed by that picture and 1 of his gross "home cooked" meals.

ETA:
He "designed" his 10th board game in 1 day and ordered it off the internet. The Freak is passing himself off as broke but has the money to order the game.
Imagine a teen girl walking home from friends house after dark and runs into the Freak.
View attachment 2706249

RULES TO THE GAME SQUONK

Squonk Part 1. The Guesstimation of Savvy Resources Draw 12 cards per person. This is your hand. From your hand build a thing of 6 to 12 cards. Tell your story to everyone else. If as a team they...

squonkrules.weebly.com

His money is for shit that makes him happy, like pot, liquor and food. Everyone else's money is for taking care of him.

 

[Wernology]

Maybe @klickitat in his next video can put up the freaks post where he'll do the "household chores and cooking" followed by that picture and 1 of his gross "home cooked" meals.

ETA:
He "designed" his 10th board game in 1 day and ordered it off the internet. The Freak is passing himself off as broke but has the money to order the game.
Imagine a teen girl walking home from friends house after dark and runs into the Freak.
View attachment 2706249

RULES TO THE GAME SQUONK

Squonk Part 1. The Guesstimation of Savvy Resources Draw 12 cards per person. This is your hand. From your hand build a thing of 6 to 12 cards. Tell your story to everyone else. If as a team they...

squonkrules.weebly.com

My favorite parts about that website:

1. He left this stock photo at the end of the page that describes the game, and it's so incredibly apt for how anyone trying to play it would feel.

2. The contact page.

3. The Gallery, which I was giving him way too much credit for and expecting to find some badly framed pictures of his board or meeples or some shit, but NO!

If this were anyone BUT Lucas I'd be inclined to think it was some sort of brilliant satire.

 

[mothman96]

Followup comments:

 

[Da Dude123]

Followup comments:

View attachment 2706525

Lucas has not deleted some comments that talk about how he is not plenty good. Also, he totally did not pick up on the sarcasm on the comment about popcorn and turkey sandwiches. He "liked" that one.

 

[WonderWino]

Maybe @klickitat in his next video can put up the freaks post where he'll do the "household chores and cooking" followed by that picture and 1 of his gross "home cooked" meals.

ETA:
He "designed" his 10th board game in 1 day and ordered it off the internet. The Freak is passing himself off as broke but has the money to order the game.
Imagine a teen girl walking home from friends house after dark and runs into the Freak.
View attachment 2706249

RULES TO THE GAME SQUONK

Squonk Part 1. The Guesstimation of Savvy Resources Draw 12 cards per person. This is your hand. From your hand build a thing of 6 to 12 cards. Tell your story to everyone else. If as a team they...

squonkrules.weebly.com

I see he's evading his ban from weebly. Its pretty funny he didn't bother to actually look at his site before putting it live - the gallery still has a bunch of default images of men and default lorem ipsum placeholder text. Gee, no red flags there for competency for a 'game designer' at all. It would be real easy to troll him with showing he is gay yet again by pointing out he has a gallery full of pics of men on his site

Also, holy shit at going to the site and the first thing you see is a huge pic of his psycho eyes staring at you

Yellow - Glass
Green - Wood
Orange - Brick
Brown - Ore
Blue - Oil
White - Coal

LOL what? None of those items make sense going with those particular colors. How the hell do you come up with white representing coal?

 

[Club Sandwich]

LOL what? None of those items make sense going with those particular colors. How the hell do you come up with white representing coal?

probably too lazy to get some paint or something and make some red and black game pieces.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

https://squonkrules.weebly.com/

That game system sounds like something one may come up with when delirious from a fever.

also it reminds me of this:

It's like a lot of board games. You put a little power on one worker, you move on, you empower another worker, move on.

 

[Stinkyboy]

Just wondering why Lucas isn’t in the “death fats” section - or is that only for women?

 

[Duke Nukem]

Remember, Lucas, like Raymond Babbit, has no clue regarding the value of money. A new car and a candy bar both cost "a hundred dollars". His parents MIGHT have a net worth in seven figures, if you include property, 401K, etc. When your "job" is making insult videos for $50, that's a lot of money.

BTW Hell will freeze over before shit stain has a real job, even in the current "we'll take anyone with a pulse" environment.

Are there any jobs available for guys with no feet? At the rate he's going I think it's worth a gander.

 

[SteveGoatman]

So, what happened to "I want a job". He's back trying to sell himself as the stay at home doing the housekeeping and cooking which we know he fails at both too.

View attachment 2705387

He should emphasize how he "bundled up sticks" with his last girlfriend...but only until the cleaning chores "fell off" because he was busy "organizing his desk".

 

[Twrx]

He should emphasize how he "bundled up sticks" with his last girlfriend...but only until the cleaning chores "fell off" because he was busy "organizing his desk".

The video that's from,where he admits he threw a glass at the wall, he blamed it on too much caffeine. I have never been able to wrap my mind around that excuse. I run on caffeine, a few of my friends are just as addicted to caffeine as me, and none of us have been violent, especially in a restaurant, with a girlfriend, because there was a guy with two girls, and he assumed they were all fucking. I know he's retaraded and all, but that excuse is even batty for him . That video is a gold mine.

While You Were Busy Getting Everything I Deserve

By doing less, mind you, agephobes, grey beards and the young women who worship at the twin altars of youth entitlement bigotry and money.Conversation Our Ag...

youtu.be

 

[WonderWino]

He should emphasize how he "bundled up sticks" with his last girlfriend...but only until the cleaning chores "fell off" because he was busy "organizing his desk".

That stuff he said about bundling up sticks (which never made sense to begin with, who the hell has a bunch of sticks just laying around their apartment?) reminds me of mundane matt and his 'I went boulder hunting' stuff

Also in that 'while you were busy getting everything I deserve' video I noticed he mentioned his 'friends' stealing sudafed. Interesting thing to do considering that most people that do that sell the shit on the street, as its used for cooking meth and isn't the easiest thing to get legally, as you can usually only buy a pack or two at a time. Stealing it is generally a stupid thing to do just to use to get high yourself as if you get caught the cops tend to assume you are stealing it to either make meth or sell it to someone who does and it can put you in a worse situation than if you stole something else, hoping to get some names out of you

Given how lucas went out of his way to bring it up to somehow distance himself from it and how he usually does this for things he himself does and wants to preemptively not look as bad and is always guilty of the stuff he brings up in these weird revelations himself, it makes me wonder if that stuff ties into the rumors of lucas having done some meth at some point

 

[mothman96]

That stuff he said about bundling up sticks (which never made sense to begin with, who the hell has a bunch of sticks just laying around their apartment?) reminds me of mundane matt and his 'I went boulder hunting' stuff

Suzanne and the Freak lived in a house with a yard. I think the sticks he talked about are dead twigs/small branches that fall off trees.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Yeah, At least the Zulus gave the head of the household cattle when they married their daughters. What is Lucas offering, Since he thinks woman are a commodity to be traded I think he could at least do better than a single slice of pizza that's been slobbered on.

"I should be able to buy a teenage slave bride with my EBT card! #feminism #heforshe #AOC"- Lucas, probably

My favorite parts about that website:

1. He left this stock photo at the end of the page that describes the game, and it's so incredibly apt for how anyone trying to play it would feel.
View attachment 2706439

2. The contact page.
View attachment 2706440

3. The Gallery, which I was giving him way too much credit for and expecting to find some badly framed pictures of his board or meeples or some shit, but NO!
View attachment 2706443

If this were anyone BUT Lucas I'd be inclined to think it was some sort of brilliant satire.

Really, not this?

Imagine being legitimately interested in this game then opening up the webpage to find out more and being greeted by this creepy masked mugshot (POWERED BY weebly)!

Lucas also neglects to explain the actual "fluff"/"lore" the players are supposed to be role-playing as. Like what is happening in the game? Are you playing as Squonks? Are you hunting the Squonks?
What is going on?
Like non-sensical rules and wonky mechanics aside, what is actually being played here?