Shitty Etsy Products

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I decided to look up "Tantra" on etsy since I had a feeling it would yield some crazy stuff and I was right!

tantra shit.jpgtantra shit 2.jpgtantra shit 3.jpgtantra shit 5.jpg

homemade boner pills

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Also, as a bonus, I found this rainbow crystal dildo that is supposed to represent the seven chakras

seven chakra dildo.jpg
 
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Fialovy said:
I decided to look up "Tantra" on etsy since I had a feeling it would yield some crazy stuff and I was right!

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homemade boner pills

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Also, as a bonus, I found this rainbow crystal dildo that is supposed to represent the seven chakras

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Yaoi Huntress Earth said:
Ok, the chakra dildo made me laugh for some weird reason.
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From green down it looks like it's full of cut veggies.
Cucumber, corn, red pepper, chili pepper.
 
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NoReturn said:
From green down it looks like it's full of cut veggies.
Cucumber, corn, red pepper, chili pepper.
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Oh my gosh, it really does! I can't unsee now.

Anyways, there is more crystal dildo errrr... ahem.... yoni wands.... keep in mind that crystals are typically very porous so they can and will accumulate and harbor bacteria in their tiny pores and cause infections therefore are not safe for vaginal (and especially not anal errrrr... root chakra use due to having nothing to anchor it out of your ass)

crystal dildo.jpg crystal dildo 3.jpgcrystal dildo 4.jpg

And here are the descriptions for these dildos:

dildo description.pngdildo description 2.pngdildo description 3.png
 
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Fialovy said:
Oh my gosh, it really does! I can't unsee now.

Anyways, there is more crystal dildo errrr... ahem.... yoni wands.... keep in mind that crystals are typically very porous so they can and will accumulate and harbor bacteria in their tiny pores and cause infections therefore are not safe for vaginal (and especially not anal errrrr... root chakra use due to having nothing to anchor it out of your ass)

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And here are the descriptions for these dildos:

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Yeah the "crystal in vagina" thing has been going on forever and it sounds pretty dangerous. Remeber when Gwyneth Paltrow was selling 60 dollar crystal eggs you had to put in there to increase "sexual energies"?
 
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NoReturn said:
You buy a friend a suncatcher on Black Friday and suddenly Etsy thinks you're into crystals, so I made this collage from the first three pages of "metaphysical crystals".
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One time I tried to see if anyone was actually selling a "sphinx of black quartz" and my recommendations have never been the same.

Everything's gotta have a dick, I swear.
 
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Aunt Carol said:
One time I tried to see if anyone was actually selling a "sphinx of black quartz" and my recommendations have never been the same.

Everything's gotta have a dick, I swear.
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I know, right? When I have to search crap on Etsy, I have to filter out "NSFW" and other rude keywords or I'm bombarded with weed, dicks, pussy and queer crap.
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
Etsy taxidermists are doing strange things to rodents
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And this poor lizard
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Ellesse_warrior said:
This one does the s&m rats

www.etsy.com

Livic,s Taxidermy gaffs and gore by VICTAXIDERMY

You searched for: VICTAXIDERMY! Discover the unique items that VICTAXIDERMY creates. At Etsy, we pride ourselves on our global community of sellers. Each Etsy seller helps contribute to a global marketplace of creative goods. By supporting VICTAXIDERMY, you’re supporting a small business, and...
www.etsy.com www.etsy.com

Here's some more

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These are funny. Is that weird?


kittyfucker said:
Oh, I can actually explain these. Here in Canada (since your search is in Canada), brass knuckles are illegal, but plastic knuckles aren't (because that makes sense?) You can get into some legal trouble carrying around things that resemble brass knuckles but keychains where you put your fingers through the eyes and the ears are the spikes are legal.

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It's a weird little legal loophole and objectively cuter than carrying around ugly ass "brass" knuckles.
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About fifteen years ago, I actually bought a monkey fist off of Etsy for that exact reason. I lived in a city and it was something I could carry around without worrying. Apparently it's illegal to even carry bear spray, but when I worked in a seedy area I always had both on me

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