Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Ellesse_warrior]

That would make his brain explode faster than a drunken shotgun blast. I loved the videos when Josh’s ego was huge from thinking he was getting a voice actor job. His idols actually noticing him would make him feel like he’s finally arrived and being ‘preciated toobs. Need that.

I was thinking about when he got a shout out from Sydney Watson and it made it so happy

 

[SP:OP]

I was thinking about when he got a shout out from Sydney Watson and it made it so happy

I always forget they’re different people lol. Thought Sydney was sniperwolfs actual name or something. But yeah, would really love to see that braintrust come together and enlighten us. Cobes would be smiling for days.

 

[Alabastr_Dragonoid]

People saying he's not going to shoot himself or injure neighbors are literally retarded. Dipshits with baseline iqs shoot themselves on accident all the time. A drunken toddler handling a firearm is a danger to himself and anyone in the immediate area, there is no refutation to this.

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

The reddit hivemind is currently melting down over Josh supporting Rittenhouse. Why are they always shocked and surprised by his right-leaning takes? Do they really think faggotry is as widespread and saturated nationwide as it is on reddit?

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

That's the joke toobz

source

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

The reddit hivemind is currently melting down over Josh supporting Rittenhouse. Why are they always shocked and surprised by his right-leaning takes? Do they really think faggotry is as widespread and saturated nationwide as it is on reddit?

tbh, he doesn't really have a real view on anything. he just vomit back what YouTube channels he watched.

 

[Hengeyokai]

That Love Island stream was great. Cobes listing his attractive qualities as "good with animals, children and elderly people, and packing a mean hog" with a completely straight face absolutely cut through me. Him trying to sing and just garbling nonsense was funny too.

I think the ugly/autistic dating show idea exists in the Undateables.

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

tbh, he doesn't really have a real view on anything. he just vomit back what YouTube channels he watched.

Yeah, wait 2 days and you'll have him saying that BLM is completely justified smashing up shit. Anyone who thinks this waterhead has sincere beliefs outside of his snake satanism faggotry is kidding themselves.

 

[SnusBurns]

Yeah, wait 2 days and you'll have him saying that BLM is completely justified smashing up shit.

There are dozens of instances of him being against smashing shit up as a form of protest. Have no idea what you are talking about. Unlike Null who is mad about Trump not pardoning those who took part in the Jan 6th attack, to the point of disowning Trump.

 

[Buffalo Chicken Sandwich]

There are dozens of instances of him being against smashing shit up as a form of protest. Have no idea what you are talking about. Unlike Null who is mad about Trump not pardoning those who took part in the Jan 6th attack, to the point of disowning Trump.

So? Cobra is always contradicting himself. He'll do it mid sentence.
Who gives a shit about what null thinks of Trump or his goon squad?

 

[Hengeyokai]

Cobes talking about CLONING oil to solve the energy crisis in his latest stream is so hilarious to me. Its even funnier than his belief that eating veg kills more animals than killing animals. Non sequiturs so detached from reality that they become difficult to argue against. Joeseph Heller would be proud.

 

[SP:OP]

Bitesize new couch Chris doc drops at 6:30 PM EST! Really excited for this one. If you don’t remember Chris, he’s the Zombie fighting fat autismo who lived on joshs couch for months. Josh and Chris paid a pregnant hooker a half a pack of cigarettes for oral sex in the back of chris’ van which led to the breakup of Stephanie and Josh. Chris used to constantly challenge Josh on his bullshit and gave us two really classic moments.

Fish is dairy

Spoiler

And my favorite cobra video ever “Fun Fight” where demon Josh is sexually assaulted by Chris and his brother

Spoiler

Here’s bitesize link

Spoiler

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

Cobes talking about CLONING oil to solve the energy crisis in his latest stream is so hilarious to me. Its even funnier than his belief that eating veg kills more animals than killing animals. Non sequiturs so detached from reality that they become difficult to argue against. Joeseph Heller would be proud.

He's Charlie from Always Sunny.

He's Boggy Kelly.

 

[Valhalla]

iirc, he's actively kept away from them. Unless I'm mistaken, this extents to the point of not even being involved in Thanksgiving. Clint does something with him separately on different days.

It’s interesting that he does this. Is he scared Josh will creep on his sisters? Pretty messed up to segregate your family like that. I wonder if that was another reason he wanted Josh out of the house and on his own, so he couldn’t be a creep to his sisters? Maybe Josh would be creepy about them only being half related to him. Who knows. I hate insinuating things about Josh like that, buuuuutttttttt that’s weird. This whole family is bizarre, when I first found cobra I gave Clint benefit of the doubt a lot. Raising a sneaky snake isn’t easy, but the more I learn. Nah, clints a lolcow too just not on the spectrum like his boglim boy.

 

[KillThemCrackasBabies]

It’s interesting that he does this. Is he scared Josh will creep on his sisters? Pretty messed up to segregate your family like that. I wonder if that was another reason he wanted Josh out of the house and on his own, so he couldn’t be a creep to his sisters? Maybe Josh would be creepy about them only being half related to him. Who knows. I hate insinuating things about Josh like that, buuuuutttttttt that’s weird. This whole family is bizarre, when I first found cobra I gave Clint benefit of the doubt a lot. Raising a sneaky snake isn’t easy, but the more I learn. Nah, clints a lolcow too just not on the spectrum like his boglim boy.

Between the shit with high school and listening to Clint squeal like a lunatic over Josh "hating women" in that song intro (fun fact; Clint was apparently upset Jord was running over people in Grand Theft fucking Auto, so to be fair Homedad may not necessarily a wholly reliable narrator here) I'm inclined to believe, justifiably or not, he does have apprehension about mixing a Bad Boy into his domestic life with normal daughters.

I'll need to go back and find it because I hate dropping these little tidbits without the shit to back it, but Cobes was doing a video in the Green Basement era detailing how an incident where he "scared the dog because I was in my goth makeup" escalated into a vicious, prolonged screaming match that resulted in having his make-up and goth accessories taken from him and had Josh frustrated to the point that he wished Clint "would get into a fucking car accident and fucking die on his business trip he's going on!". Between shit the two of them have said, I think a realistic enough consensus is that Boggy Boi has some temper issues that can escalate to wildly outlandish proportions, so it stands to reason once Clint got normal children it was just better for everyone involved to not blend those two worlds together.

edit: got it.

 

[Robert w'E'd Leef]

"scared the dog because I was in my goth makeup"

That is the funniest fucking thing I've read in a while

 

[SP:OP]

It’s interesting that he does this. Is he scared Josh will creep on his sisters?

pretty sure clints referenced this. The second josh turned 18 he wanted to get out. He hated living under clints rules. Clint used to give him his “punishment haircut” when josh would be out of work for too long.

Spoiler

According to Clints visit to the cobra subreddit years ago, Josh stopped taking his meds and planning on moving out the second he turned 18. I’ll post an old Clint comment in full. It’s long and self righteous but it gives good insight into what trying to raise this beast was like. I don’t think he was ever trying to fuck his sisters lol. I think they want to stay out of whatever weird online life he’s cultivated. They’ve been targeted before and whenever they come up Josh threatens to “Shut the subreddit down” by calling his dad. I think he’s had a big talking to in regards to not letting his trolls get to them.

Spoiler

This is a comment from two years ago when Clint visited this sub. put things in perspective made me sit back and rethink what I’ve been saying, acting like I somehow know better than his actual father, ranting about how he should parent josh when really I’m just talking out my ass.

“wow, I just read all of this. Wished I wouldn't have, but alas.

I won't spend time trying to address every judgement, because I don't feel the need to go there. It is very easy to sit back and watch and think you know a situation. It's an entirely different ball game to live it.

I have started to type multiple responses to the assumptions directed at my parenting. Every time I start, I end up typing for 15 minute and I'm barely scratching the surface. The truth is, I would be typing for hours if I tried to respond to it all.

To summarize, you simply have no idea what it's like to raise someone with mental illness unless you have done it. Do you know what it's like to teach someone who can't/won't learn? Do you know what it's like to spend every minute of every day in a state of constant conflict? Every minute of every day is a battle. Everything you say is challenged or causes a blow up. Everything you THINK you know about parenting is thrown out the window because NOTHING, NOTHING fucking works. Every single type of discipline, reward, positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, NOTHING changes the behavior. Sometimes, you have a break through, sometimes something has a desired effect and you have hope. Then the next day it's all gone again. You're back to square one.

Daily lectures on hygiene, temper control, picking up cigarettes off the street and smoking them. He does this even when he has cigarettes by the way. I tried buying him cigarettes for a while so that he would stop, and he still did it.

Am I a perfect parent? NO. Not even close. Have I made mistakes with Josh? Absolutely. Do I wish I would have done some things different? Definitely. However, he is an adult. I can try to help him all I want, if he refuses to accept it, then there is nothing I can do.

Whoever said that I do just enough to make myself feel good. I'd be lying if I didn't say there was some truth to that. When he moved out, there was a large part of me that felt a HUGE sense of relief. "He's an adult, he's moved out, he's on his own, I don't have to deal with this anymore." No more spending 16 hours a day in survival mode. No more spending 16 hours a day walking on eggshells, trying to figure out what to say, how to say, how to teach, how to parent. He's an adult, society will deal with him now and I don't have to.

With those feelings come the even stronger feelings of guilt. This is my son, he will always be my responsibility, I can't abandon him. I know he won't make it. And, you can't even imagine the guilt of having a child with Mental Illness. The thought in this country that, if there is something wrong with the child, then they have bad parents. And how many times my wife and I have blamed ourselves and scolded ourselves and just hated ourselves.

Now he's and adult, and when I try to get more involved in his life, he blocks me from his life. Try to get him to brush his teeth, get blocked. Try to get him to take a shower, get blocked. Lecture him about health risks of picking up cigarettes and smoking them, get blocked. Try to get him to a counselor, get blocked. Try to get him on meds, get blocked. Talk to him about cleaning his apartment, get blocked. Do any parenting what-so-ever, get blocked. The more I try to help, the more I get pushed away.

Ugh! You could never possibly understand unless you've lived it.

However, this is NOT about me. I did not come here to get attention. I did not come here to try and justify myself, or my parenting. I did not come here because I want anyone feeling sorry for me or Josh. I am not looking for sympathy. I came here because someone said that this site was dedicated to harassing Josh and they were going to shut down his wands if they could. So, as RITETOWRITE pointed out, I came in here attacking. It didn't take me long to realize that RITETOWRITE was correct, it was the people in here who bought his wands, and you weren't trying to stop the wands, you were supporting them. I was mistaken.

Every year for 25 years I think, "ok, this is the year. Josh is going to grow out of it." I live on this hope. When he finally decided to start doing the wands, I thought "YES" this is it. It's going to work. He will do something productive and positive and evolve. He will gain self respect and begin to care about his life. So, I got a bit worked up when someone said this group would sabotage it.

Please do not send me messages of sympathy, or tell me I'm a great dad or anything like that. It's NOT about that, and that's NOT why I'm here. When you have a child like Josh, you get judged everyday from everyone who you interact with including family and friends. And, please don't take this wrong, but I sincerely don't care if anyone on the internet thinks I'm a bad parent. They have not lived my life and have no idea. And, I'm NOT a great dad NOR am I a bad parent. I'm just a dad. Just like every other parent. I try to do my best, sometimes I succeed sometimes I fail. It's just life. We all have our own circumstances, our own successes and failures and triumphs and hardships, positives and negatives and we all simply do the best we can with what we are given. That's all any of us can do. Me, Josh, you, we just do our best and try to get through this thing called life. And yes, MrRoxo is correct. Sometimes I do just enough to feel like I'm doing something even though I know I should do more. I'm only human.

Unfortunately, I can't be Josh's nanny. I can't get him up everyday at 8:00, make him take a shower, brush his teeth, put on clean clothes, eat a healthy breakfast, take his meds, etc. etc. He's an adult and lives on his own. That all ended the day he moved out.

AND PLEASE stop with the Mlord bullshit. I see people complaining about his narcissistic behaviors. I wonder where he developed the idea that people worship him???????

As to the dog collar, who cares?? I hate it, I think it looks ridiculous, and when this trend started I fought with him on it daily, but it doesn't effect me in one bit. Who cares if he wears a dog collar? The only person it has an effect on his him.

As to the person commenting on his shitty guitar playing, fuck you! I will always encourage it, I don't care how bad it is. It's healthy and productive and an outlet for his depression and anxiety. I wish he would play more.

Shit! I wasn't planning on writing a book. I wanted to keep this brief, but alas, there you have it.”

Cobes reaction to his sisters on the sub:

 

[Taint_fairy]

When weens gets Cobes kicked out from Frostys link

 

[Dick Pooman]

Bitesize Cobra Vids will be releasing a Couch Chris documentary tonight at 6:30 Eastern

 

[Ellesse_warrior]

This is my new favourite Cobra tails RIP Mrs. Green

Spoiler: ARCHIVE Cobra Tails - The Thing About Mrs Green