Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 791 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,390
I mean, is there really anything else to do in Hendersonville aside from eat and go to the only megaplex in the county?

Well, there's go to Nashville of course but we all know Jack's aversion to that.
Anything else to do? Yeah. It’s called ‘get a fuckin job’ … instead of sponging off of Tammy for 97% of everything, including the three movies per week
 
Anything else to do? Yeah. It’s called ‘get a fuckin job’ … instead of sponging off of Tammy for 97% of everything, including the three movies per week
Considering Henderson's job economy likely revolves around Nashville that might involve a commute he cannot perform and/or working with people of an unacceptable melanin content to Jack.

Lets face it, even though it's his own damn fault, the man might as well be physically and mentally disabled. Might as well just write him off as a lost cause for work.

The thought of mortality is starting to creep into the fat man's mind. Knock, knock, the reaper's coming.

View attachment 2718766
What caused those deaths, Jack?
 
Considering Henderson's job economy likely revolves around Nashville that might involve a commute he cannot perform and/or working with people of an unacceptable melanin content to Jack.

Lets face it, even though it's his own damn fault, the man might as well be physically and mentally disabled. Might as well just write him off as a lost cause for work.
I’d honestly be making the same case way before his latest stroke because this dumb fat sack of shit has been sponging VERY heavily off of Tammy for well over a decade now
 
  • Like
Reactions: Aunt Carol
Considering Henderson's job economy likely revolves around Nashville that might involve a commute he cannot perform and/or working with people of an unacceptable melanin content to Jack.

Lets face it, even though it's his own damn fault, the man might as well be physically and mentally disabled. Might as well just write him off as a lost cause for work.


What caused those deaths, Jack?
They must have not had "magic tables"
 
Last edited:
It's always a good day when Rob blesses us with a new video. It's so refreshing to see Rob respectively tasting the sauces with a clean spoon, rather than dipping his fingers into the jar like Fatty did with the 1 cent Kroger sauce.

Rob brings out a kitchen gadget that clearly gets regular use, justifying its purchase, and makes a piece of chicken that doesn't look like it bled out all over a silicone macaron sheet, and always manages to give feedback that is more pertinent than "MMMM IT'S GUD, IT'S CHICKENY, LIKE MUNKFRUIT BETTER"
 
In the last scarf on the go he sperges about the cops being in the restaurant..gets ignored by Tammy when he asks her if it's the cops. And then says

They must have not had "magic tables"
That was pretty funny. Jack is looking right at a few police in full uniform and stupidly asks Tammy multiple times if they are cops, like he can't process what he can see literally in front of him. I wish she would have snapped and said what the fuck do you think they are, wearing costumes?
 
I highly doubt that the dude who blew his tendon while doing a walk is able to walk that distance without getting a serious injury.
Don't forget his one gimp leg. He doesn't walk so much as hobble. That has got to be exhausting dragging his leg along as well as the rest of his bulk. But do you know what would have helped? Losing weight and actually going into rehab to force your leg to operate again. But of course that takes effort and of there's one thing Mushbrain doesn't do is effort.

I know people make fun of Jack for having two freezers, but I still think it's a good idea. I've been thinking of getting one so I could buy in bulk fresh fruit when it's in season and the cheapest to mass freeze it. Also, it would be good to store turkey and other cheap meat in mass when it's on sale. I tend to keep the carcass of turkeys, ducks, and chickens for stock or sauce making. Normally can't do that with my current freezer.
Having multiple freezers is fine if you buy in bulk but this is Fatty Doo Doo we're talking about. His one freezer is full of ice cream and the other is full of pulled pork. I mean with the amount he smokes there's no way he's eating it all before it goes bad.

Yeah I know, rate me optimistic but he cooks enough for an army and it's just him and Big T and she's lost weight, he hasn't.
 
Hahaha that low-key undercut punch at the end of Rob's video with the calm music blending in

"Not many people have used these. Jack if you out there, make a video using your sauce"
This is why Rob is the best troll. It's so subtle that Mushbrain would honestly think he's being sincere.

He mentioned the hot BBQ being like jelly which was a big complaint about it. He made sure the chicken was at the right temperature. And of course that nobody else has reviewed it.
 
Never forget the old pragmatic Jack who could just watch movies at home and cancel date nights on the fly. @saralovesjuicyfruit - you reminded me how much Jack loves going to the movies now. He even sperged out that the theater next to his was closed during the pandemic.

My favorite thing about Jack is his consistency and commitment to his values.

Jagoff goes to three movies a week I’m sure. It’s because he can just plop down in the air conditioning and stuff his fat face for two hours at a time.

He goes to the movies just to go, like my friends and I did in middle school. Didn't matter what was out, we'd watch one of the choices on Friday night. The difference is we were 12 and our options for Friday night activities were limited by that fact. I don't know why a middle-aged middle class adult would want to spend their time like that.
 
He goes to the movies just to go, like my friends and I did in middle school. Didn't matter what was out, we'd watch one of the choices on Friday night. The difference is we were 12 and our options for Friday night activities were limited by that fact. I don't know why a middle-aged middle class adult would want to spend their time like that.
It’s the most sedentary option for a night out he has aside from going to a restaurant, and he can stuff his gob with popcorn to boot.
 
He goes to the movies just to go, like my friends and I did in middle school. Didn't matter what was out, we'd watch one of the choices on Friday night. The difference is we were 12 and our options for Friday night activities were limited by that fact. I don't know why a middle-aged middle class adult would want to spend their time like that.
What else are they going to do? The most active form of entertainment that Jack can physically tolerate is eating. He’s physically incapable of doing anything else. Walking, dancing, exercise etc. is all totally off the table. They don’t drink, so bars are out. All of the friends that Tammy brings around are openly repulsed by Jack, so even hanging out with friends is out of the question.

They can go out to eat, they can go to a movie, or they can hang out at the murder church. That’s it. Out of the three, movies are probably the most in Jack’s best interest.
 
What else are they going to do? The most active form of entertainment that Jack can physically tolerate is eating. He’s physically incapable of doing anything else. Walking, dancing, exercise etc. is all totally off the table. They don’t drink, so bars are out. All of the friends that Tammy brings around are openly repulsed by Jack, so even hanging out with friends is out of the question.

They can go out to eat, they can go to a movie, or they can hang out at the murder church. That’s it. Out of the three, movies are probably the most in Jack’s best interest.
The movie at a cinema gets him to shut the fuck up for a couple of hours, too. I bet at home if a movie's on he's just as insufferable as he is on Fat on the Go videos. "TAMMY! WHO IS THAT? IS THAT THE MAIN CHARACTER? WHAT ARE THEY DOING? ARE THEY COPS?"
 
The movie at a cinema gets him to shut the fuck up for a couple of hours, too. I bet at home if a movie's on he's just as insufferable as he is on Fat on the Go videos. "TAMMY! WHO IS THAT? IS THAT THE MAIN CHARACTER? WHAT ARE THEY DOING? ARE THEY COPS?"
Sheeeit … I have NO doubt he’s like that at the theater too. If you’re lucky enough to sit near him you’d probably like to kill him by the end of the movie because he’s so fucking rude
 
Every time I see this thread pop up I think to myself "Oh, that's still active? That Jack guy has to be bed ridden and about ready to kick the bucket by now though, right?" but he just keeps going.

I swear to god we're all going to be long since dead and this motherfucker is going to be rolling around our corpses in a wheelchair as a blind diabetes riddled quadruple amputee asking trees where some good local places to get ribs are.
 
Every time I see this thread pop up I think to myself "Oh, that's still active? That Jack guy has to be bed ridden and about ready to kick the bucket by now though, right?" but he just keeps going.

I swear to god we're all going to be long since dead and this motherfucker is going to be rolling around our corpses in a wheelchair as a blind diabetes riddled quadruple amputee asking trees where some good local places to get ribs are.

Right? He's been around for so fucking long, too. People have been making fun of him since as long as I can remember being on the internet

A few days ago out of curiosity I binged some of his more infamous videos and his first upload was in 2007. Holy shit. I was still in elementary at that point.
FOURTEEN YEARS of youtube culinary and he still can't cook meat properly

Jackie.JPG


Jack might be the one person on this earth who can outlast DSP
 
Back