- Joined
- Jan 7, 2020
“Progressive paid me 9k! Sure my monthly payments and premiums have skyrocketed to the point I can’t afford them but IT DON’T MATTER BITCH! 9K COKE PARTY WOOOOOOOOO KILLSTREAM!!!”
11/06/2021 Ethan Ralph Totaled His Car - Hard to drive with hooves.
- Thread starter Mr E. Grifter
- Start date
Don'tAnalizeMeBro!
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2021
Ralph is already planning his triumphant return to the land of Las Vegas where he will be comped a suite, several concubines, and a NEW CAR.
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2017
He's going to spend that $9k on the first slots he sees where the jackpot is a car.
- Joined
- May 28, 2014
Wow, a whole 9k for a 2020 car. Safe to assume he didn’t have gap insurance, then? How does he think that’s worth bragging about? Ethan got scammed.Don’t worry guys Ralph is rolling in the money and will be buying a new car soon with all the $9k progressive money he received.
Stay mad alawgs! Winning!
Ethan Ralph on Twitter: "Nah, I'd rather buy a new one. Progressive p…
archived 19 Nov 2021 16:25:05 UTCarchive.md
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2014
Holy shit, that's like 9 whole new purses for Ralph. Congratulations big guy!
- Joined
- Nov 3, 2016
contrats ralph you can shut down your christfundme! You basically got enough to pay the lawyer now!
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2016
I think we can rest assured Ralphamale will not be owning another car for quite awhile. 9k doesn’t even get a shitty 2012 used car on the bonkers covid car market right now.
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2018
was his car paid off or was he still making payments on it?
Ralphamale
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2020
He owed 14 grand on the car whilst making payments.
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2015
So he is at least 5k in the hole, will face much more expensive insurance payments in the future and the cost of replacement cars has skyrocketed due to supply chain issues in the age of covid.
Ralphamale just can't stop winning.
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2018
Ok I've finally got a little time to look into Ralph's claim.
His claim being that he was turning left on a green (not a green arrow), meaning a legal, but unprotected left turn meaning he has to yield to oncoming traffic. The citation for failure to obey a traffic device matches that and would also match running a red.
Since he has never claimed the other person ran a red, I'm not going to consider that. And he would have. If it wasn't his fault, he would have been seething over it.
I'm fair so tl:dr for this is, his version of what happened is plausible.
So let's take a look at the intersection:
In the full size image you'll see I have the compass on there, so North is the top of the image.
Ralph posted two photos from the scene that show enough background to know where his car ended up.
Note: The selfie image has been unmirror'd so things are going the correct direction.
As has already been noted, in the first picture we see the intersection with trees in the back and a multistory building. In the selfie photo we see a chruch in the distance. From both of these, we can conclude his car ended up here (the blue mark):
Meaning the photo of his car was taken from the northeast side of it, the car was facing kinda northwest. The selfie photo was taken from the west side of the car (so in front of it) while he was standing on that traffic pole island.
It's quite an interesting intersection. The west-east road is Landover Rd/MD202 (Maryland Route 202) and the north-south road is St. Josephs Dr to the north and McCormick Dr to the south. We see that traveling eastbound on 202 has 4 through lanes, 1 right turn lane, and 3 left turn lanes. Westbound 202 has 4 through lanes, 1 right turn lane, and 1 left turn lane.
Southbound St. Joseph's has 2 right turn lanes, 1 through/left turn and 2 more dedicated left turn lanes. Northbound McCormick is the same except 1 right turn instead of two. Yes, it looks like a 2 lane right in that satellite imagery, but street view confirms it is just one.
Street view images are stamped as being taken May 2021, so very recent. I'm not going to post all the images, but you can look at the intersection here: https://www.google.com/maps/@38.9159521,-76.8448579,212m/data=!3m1!1e3
Looking through those, you can see that the triple left turn for eastbound 202 and the single left turn for westbound 202 DO NOT allow for unprotected turns. They are arrows only and Maryland, or at least this intersection, does not have the blinking yellow that has been discussed in this thread at length. So, if we believe his story, that rules out those as his direction of travel.
That leaves the north-south roads and either turning left to go west or left to go east. Given where his car ended up, I think a northbound direction of travel turning left to go westbound is ruled out as his end position would be PAST where he go broadsided from someone traveling from that direction. It defies physics for that to be the case.
So that means, IF we believe his version of events, he was traveling southbound and attempting to turn left onto 202 eastbound. He would have had to have gotten hit so hard that his car spun around and he ended up back where he was.
His view:
You can see the two dedicated left turn lanes have a 4 position light. Red, yellow, solid green and green arrow. Meaning, if you have the solid green but not the green arrow, it's an unprotected turn. Blinking yellow would replace this and makes a lot more sense as people can get confused over having a green light but it not being a protected turn.
This is plausible. High speed impacts can leaves cars in completely different directions then they started.
However, I think this is just as likely: He was trying to make a left turn from eastbound 202 onto northbound St Josephs, got nailed and ended up just past where he was.
His view:
These lights are 3 position lights. Red arrow, yellow and green.
Unfortunately when street view went through the turns were red. But if it's a red arrow, it's certainly going to be a green arrow. Protected turns only.
Either one of these scenarios is probably just as likely to have happened.
The main difference is, one means he failed to yield, and the other means he ran a red. If the second one is true, it also means he ran a red on a triple lane turn which just makes it even dumber.
I also think the second scenario is more likely (running a red) because he said he was on his way to meet Wohl for the pedo thing. If you look at the area, to the west of this intersection is I-495, a beltway highway around D.C., that Ralph would certainly be using coming up from Richmond. He got off northbound 495 traveling east/south on 202. He was making a left turn north onto St. Josephs Dr and up that road a bit is a neighborhood. I haven't watched any of Wohl's shit, but I'm betting they lure the pedo's to a house just like Hansen did on his show.
That direction has a triple left turn because there is also a large mall that way. So large amounts of traffic get off 495 heading to that mall and this is the quickest route.
His claim being that he was turning left on a green (not a green arrow), meaning a legal, but unprotected left turn meaning he has to yield to oncoming traffic. The citation for failure to obey a traffic device matches that and would also match running a red.
Since he has never claimed the other person ran a red, I'm not going to consider that. And he would have. If it wasn't his fault, he would have been seething over it.
I'm fair so tl:dr for this is, his version of what happened is plausible.
So let's take a look at the intersection:
In the full size image you'll see I have the compass on there, so North is the top of the image.
Ralph posted two photos from the scene that show enough background to know where his car ended up.
Note: The selfie image has been unmirror'd so things are going the correct direction.
As has already been noted, in the first picture we see the intersection with trees in the back and a multistory building. In the selfie photo we see a chruch in the distance. From both of these, we can conclude his car ended up here (the blue mark):
Meaning the photo of his car was taken from the northeast side of it, the car was facing kinda northwest. The selfie photo was taken from the west side of the car (so in front of it) while he was standing on that traffic pole island.
It's quite an interesting intersection. The west-east road is Landover Rd/MD202 (Maryland Route 202) and the north-south road is St. Josephs Dr to the north and McCormick Dr to the south. We see that traveling eastbound on 202 has 4 through lanes, 1 right turn lane, and 3 left turn lanes. Westbound 202 has 4 through lanes, 1 right turn lane, and 1 left turn lane.
Southbound St. Joseph's has 2 right turn lanes, 1 through/left turn and 2 more dedicated left turn lanes. Northbound McCormick is the same except 1 right turn instead of two. Yes, it looks like a 2 lane right in that satellite imagery, but street view confirms it is just one.
Street view images are stamped as being taken May 2021, so very recent. I'm not going to post all the images, but you can look at the intersection here: https://www.google.com/maps/@38.9159521,-76.8448579,212m/data=!3m1!1e3
Looking through those, you can see that the triple left turn for eastbound 202 and the single left turn for westbound 202 DO NOT allow for unprotected turns. They are arrows only and Maryland, or at least this intersection, does not have the blinking yellow that has been discussed in this thread at length. So, if we believe his story, that rules out those as his direction of travel.
That leaves the north-south roads and either turning left to go west or left to go east. Given where his car ended up, I think a northbound direction of travel turning left to go westbound is ruled out as his end position would be PAST where he go broadsided from someone traveling from that direction. It defies physics for that to be the case.
So that means, IF we believe his version of events, he was traveling southbound and attempting to turn left onto 202 eastbound. He would have had to have gotten hit so hard that his car spun around and he ended up back where he was.
His view:
You can see the two dedicated left turn lanes have a 4 position light. Red, yellow, solid green and green arrow. Meaning, if you have the solid green but not the green arrow, it's an unprotected turn. Blinking yellow would replace this and makes a lot more sense as people can get confused over having a green light but it not being a protected turn.
This is plausible. High speed impacts can leaves cars in completely different directions then they started.
However, I think this is just as likely: He was trying to make a left turn from eastbound 202 onto northbound St Josephs, got nailed and ended up just past where he was.
His view:
These lights are 3 position lights. Red arrow, yellow and green.
Unfortunately when street view went through the turns were red. But if it's a red arrow, it's certainly going to be a green arrow. Protected turns only.
Either one of these scenarios is probably just as likely to have happened.
The main difference is, one means he failed to yield, and the other means he ran a red. If the second one is true, it also means he ran a red on a triple lane turn which just makes it even dumber.
I also think the second scenario is more likely (running a red) because he said he was on his way to meet Wohl for the pedo thing. If you look at the area, to the west of this intersection is I-495, a beltway highway around D.C., that Ralph would certainly be using coming up from Richmond. He got off northbound 495 traveling east/south on 202. He was making a left turn north onto St. Josephs Dr and up that road a bit is a neighborhood. I haven't watched any of Wohl's shit, but I'm betting they lure the pedo's to a house just like Hansen did on his show.
That direction has a triple left turn because there is also a large mall that way. So large amounts of traffic get off 495 heading to that mall and this is the quickest route.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2019
Quote is broken, but I'm rating Losco's crash scene forensics autistic in the most positive sense I can.
Oki's Weird Stories has done a few Livestreams on Wohl's To Catch a Predator knock off, and they are a fantastic shit show. Honestly, had this crash cause Ralph to miss that, it would of been the greatest tragedy.
The show is embarrassing, I'm not sure what's worse, if it's fake or if it's legit. They are trying to spin this whole "Washington Elite are all pedos and we are uncovering it" narrative, and they're mostly hitting foreigners and nobodies. All of them that I saw aren't from DC. They got one analyst with a low level security clearance.
One guy busted them running two dating app profiles, one with bait's real age of 36, and another they use to confront them with the age of 16. And they left it in the edited episode!
I doubt Ralph is going to be participating, there is an overly plastic leathery bimbo in the opening credits that has almost no role in the show, and yet I'm eager to see Gunt waddle his way around the trap house. Hollywood's billions cannot make a spectacle more enticing to me than the thought of Ralph shaking down a fellow ephebophile in aN amateur sham To Catch a Predator.
Oki's Weird Stories has done a few Livestreams on Wohl's To Catch a Predator knock off, and they are a fantastic shit show. Honestly, had this crash cause Ralph to miss that, it would of been the greatest tragedy.
The show is embarrassing, I'm not sure what's worse, if it's fake or if it's legit. They are trying to spin this whole "Washington Elite are all pedos and we are uncovering it" narrative, and they're mostly hitting foreigners and nobodies. All of them that I saw aren't from DC. They got one analyst with a low level security clearance.
One guy busted them running two dating app profiles, one with bait's real age of 36, and another they use to confront them with the age of 16. And they left it in the edited episode!
I doubt Ralph is going to be participating, there is an overly plastic leathery bimbo in the opening credits that has almost no role in the show, and yet I'm eager to see Gunt waddle his way around the trap house. Hollywood's billions cannot make a spectacle more enticing to me than the thought of Ralph shaking down a fellow ephebophile in aN amateur sham To Catch a Predator.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Imagine being this fat fucking faggot of a midget, admitting you blew red lights and were completely at fault, and then in literally the same sentence trying to act like you were the innocent party.
Welcome to Ralph World.
What a worthless fucking midget.
If you have anything in your life where "meet Wohl for the pedo thing" describes it, you should just immediately commit suicide.
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2020
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
I love that the gunt is oinking and squealing at this very moment. Squeal harder, piggy!
Oh I forgot to mention you are a midget barely an inch over five feet tall. A short tiny little midgety ass motherfucker! Enjoy being a dwarf!
Oh I forgot to mention you are a midget barely an inch over five feet tall. A short tiny little midgety ass motherfucker! Enjoy being a dwarf!
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2020
Last edited:
- Joined
- May 14, 2021
@Sam Losco Your post was read within like 15 minutes by the gunt
Hi Ralph since you are reading along, do you care that your firstborn bastard son will read the terrible things you publicly say about his mother? Do you realize your words will hurt him?
Are we sure he graduated college? How is his writing so impaired?
Hi Ralph since you are reading along, do you care that your firstborn bastard son will read the terrible things you publicly say about his mother? Do you realize your words will hurt him?
- Joined
- Mar 5, 2018
There are no cameras at the intersection Ralph. No red light cameras and no CCTV cameras. The only cameras are the ones mounted on the horizontal poles. Those are used as sensors and detect cars in the lanes so the light knows when people are waiting. I've never heard of those being used to prove fault and don't think they are even recorded.
21-201(a1) is:
21-202 goes into the specific rules. So by Ralph's own logic, if they were going to cite him specifically for failure to yield, it would be 21-202(c):
If they were going to cite him for running a red, it'd likely be either 21-202(h1) or 21-202(h2).
Anyone want to take a guess as to why they would cite him for a more generic failure to obey as opposed to a more specific law?
What else you got fat boy?
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Maybe I forgot to mention that Ethan Ralph is a tiny little midget.
I mean I probably didn't, but it's the sort of thing that needs to be mentioned a LOT.
ETHAN RALPH IS A TINY LITTLE MIDGET. PLUS HE IS FAT! HE IS A TINY LITTLE MIDGET AND A TINY LITTLE FAT MIDGET!
Public service announcement over.
I mean I probably didn't, but it's the sort of thing that needs to be mentioned a LOT.
ETHAN RALPH IS A TINY LITTLE MIDGET. PLUS HE IS FAT! HE IS A TINY LITTLE MIDGET AND A TINY LITTLE FAT MIDGET!
Public service announcement over.
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
Ethan Ralph is 61 inches tall and an alcoholic who false flags people. He will die alone.