If Phil had a history of bitching about our speculation of him being gay, I would have no problem agreeing that he's in the closet, but he doesn't. He even once answered the direct question of being gay without any attitude, hesitancy, or obfuscation whatsoever, which stands in stark contrast to any other time he doesn't feel comfortable about an inquiry.
Yes, I know he doesn't go near the subject of his obvious dental problems, but that's a very different thing that's probably not out of shame or embarrassment. In fact, I'm starting to think he doesn't even know how much we discuss it, because he seems THAT disconnected from the idea of us noticing that he can't eat without making a face that he didn't used to. As much as he reads the Farms, he still doesn't see everything, clearly, probably from focusing on the threads that expose him the most, like the one documenting his Champions spending.
He surely knows about the gay jokes, though, because they're all over the main thread here, which is proven to have his attention.
As much as I enjoy my theory that he's actually so lazy that upon discovering what sex is really like, he basically punked out like he does with Gojitenks, I will admit that the impotence theory makes a lot of sense too. He didn't bang Leanna like he could have, long before he could've killed his little potato with copious amounts of alcohol (and other poor lifestyle choices), he is indeed sensitive about Young Phil for most than just the racist jokes, and his attempt to conceal whatever is really bothering him with the Puritan Phil act isn't the least bit convincing.
ED would explain all of that and more, especially if it's the case that, as one poster suggested a long time ago, he also suffers from insecurity about the size of said non-functioning dick, which we have video evidence pointing to anyway.
Maybe it's both? I could easily see someone like Phil getting pissy over reminders of not only his impotence but his laziness when it comes to satisfying women. He is, after all, the man of a thousand bad traits, who hardly ever has just one thing causing him to do things that are just plain dumb, embarrassing, or perplexing.